Parents Navigating a new team

[GymRat246]

My daughter has been competing with this new established team for a year now. All of the other girls have been together for at least 2 years prior. She has expressed to me that she doesn't feel supported like the other teammates, for example when there is a fall from the beam...the team rushes to their teammate to show concern, but this doesn't happen with my daughter, everyone carries on like nothing happened. She has also had several falls from the high bar and is now afraid and lacks confidence to try. She has asked her coach for a spot, but the coach replies that they don't spot for comfort. This is confusing to me as a parent, particularly when other teammates are spotted by the coach during floor routines at competitions.

As a parent, I've encouraged my child to stay positive and keep going in spite of these unfavorable situations.

I could use some advice on how to navigate thias as she is now disengaging and regressing with her skills.

 

[rd7]

I would try to have a meeting with the coaches to get to the bottom of what is going on here. Its sounds like a very negative and unhealthy environment for your daughter.

 

[SupportingHerDreams]

As far as the teammates support... while it sucks it can be a part of the sport. I have just told my daughter that she doesn't go to the gym every day for friends, she goes to do gymnastics. I encourage he to be a good teammate but I also help her see that her gymnastics cannot be dependant on others.

Now as far as the spot from the coach, there can be so many reasons for this. Usually coaches do things for a reason but sometimes it is an unhealthy enviroment. Do you trust the coach? Do you see your child growning in other areas? Do you feel that the coach cares about your child growing in the sport? Only you and your daughter can decide if it is a safe enviroment or not.

 

[Milomom]

I think the team atmosphere is a big part of gymnastics - of course they are there to learn and compete, but they are there for so many hours a week, if they don't have friends and good support, I would look for another gym. They may not get along with every single one of their teammates (especially if there are big age differences) but there should be someone that is supportive and a friend.

 

[katrid11]

With the high bar - it is time for her to drop back into skill progressions and regain her confidence. Is the coach telling her to do that or to 'just do that skill'? FWIW spotting to regain confidence is not a great approach. My daughter is working through a mental block and the very last thing on the list is spotting. Instead working skill progressions to regain confidence and tons of repetitions is what is moving her forward.

FWIW the ONLY time our coaches spot are on new high bar skills at the pit bar AND a gentle hand spot if a girl had a major fall on the first try after the fall. If they want more than that, they are directed to do progressions.

As for the teammates unfortunately no one can control how girls gel as a team. It makes me sad to think your daughter isn't getting the same comradery as the other teammates. If she is mentioning it then it is impacting her at the gym. I agree with PP... there are too many hours at the gym to feel alone on a team. BUT you can't guarantee the next place will be better with teammates. It maybe worth checking out other teams to see if she gels with other girls....

 

[Pineapple_Lump]

I would be interested to know age and level to help with context.

I try to prevent big team commiserations after falls - if an athlete is hurt, they usually need space not hugs. If they got a fright a quick are you okay/support and then giving them time and space to process what happened. If it is happening during practice that seems to be really disruptive behavior to the flow of training.

Personally for lower levels I am always standing in for bars on the little ones to catch any slips especially with the jump to the high bar. It is scary and potentially dangerous - so preventing a bad fall is easier than re-building confidence/injury recovery.
Did the falls happen at the previous gym or this one? Is the coach aware that your child lacks confidence due to a history of getting hurt?

Have you spoken with the coach? Sometimes we need to step in and help with the team bonding, they don't all need to be besties but no one should fell/appear as if they are completely left out. If the coach seems unwilling to try and help your child bond that might be a sign of the culture they are happy to accept.