Questions for Coaches???

[lilgymmie7]

I tend to be a very laid back parent when it comes to gymnastics. I love that my DD is involved and I really work to not add stress or pressure on her. She is only 7!
I have been wondering about this for quite a while. At DD's old gym, parents always questioned certain aspects of their DD's gymnastics. When I met with her old coaches, I really didn't feel like I was 'heard'. Perhaps it was the conservative way I presented the situation. I am not sure.

At DD's new gym, parents do also talk to the coaches. The two HC's have told me that if I ever have questions/concerns about DD and her gymnastics to not hesitate to ask, email, or meet with them.

" What questions do coaches find adequate? "

I don't think I would ever ask, "Is DD moving up?" I guess it's because her coaches should tell me the obvious in that respect.

I being a teacher am always receptive to anything my parents want to ask. Of course, I never talk about another child with them. But if it relates to their own child, I have always been open to discourse.

I find myself at a loss when it comes to talking to coaches however. I just don't want to step on anyone's toes. Any help from coaches and parents who have healthy relationships with their DD's coaches would be appreciated!

 

[coachmolly]

I think I'm open to most questions a parent wants to ask provided it's done respectfully and with the right intentions. It's hard to provide examples of this as it largely comes across via the parents tone and gestures during the conversation, but I would be put off by something coming across as demanding or demeaning of my ability of methods (provided they had no reason to question them) such as "Why was DD only working on bhs while the rest of her class was working on back tucks? She's getting bored because you aren't pushing her enough and seem to like the other girls better." I'm sure most of you can imagine the tone in which something like that would be said as well...
On the other hand if a parent said something like "I noticed the other girls moving along to back tucks on floor but DD still seems to be stuck on the bhs, why do you think this is the case/what do you suggest to help her improve?" Something along those lines. As well as asking what my plans are for a child, how they are behaving in class, asking about their work ethic, telling me about life issues that could be impacting their gymnastics, explaining any fears or mental blocks a gymnast might not be telling me about, what skills DD needs to move up, those kinds of things. Really, anything as long as it's done with the right intent. I generally like hearing feedback from a parent because who know a specific child better than their parent? Any tips or tricks a parent can provide to help me work with their child better and create an environment where they can be successful are greatly appreciated. So even things like, "sometimes DD needs a little extra discipline for things to stick, feel free to send her to timeout" or "DD has been getting distracted in class lately and I think extra stations or tasks to be completed in line might hold her attention. Would something like that be possible" can be really helpful for me in organizing classes and developing lesson plans.
I currently work at a gym where interactions with parents are largely non-existent unless I work to track down the parent and comment on their child, provided they actually set foot in the gym to drop off or pick up their kid. I would really prefer it if more parents took the time to ask questions or make comments about their DD's progress.

 

[nevertooold]

I am open to anything parents want to ask.... Just be prepared that the answer might not be what you want to hear.

I truly do not mind parents asking if their child will move up, better to ask than wonder and be surprised.

 

[gymdog]

I don't mind questions about move-ups, either. In general, I think you're fine if it's a genuine question. If it's backhanded criticism or you're trying to demand something rather than discuss something, then you run into problems. But I think if you genuinely have a question about something and approach it respectfully, then the coach should meet you halfway with their side...if they do not then they are in the wrong.

 

[lilgymmie7]

I was certain that tone of voice and intentions are key when discussing anything/everything. I didn't however know that 'move up' questions are okay. I still might not ask that because I just feel that if DD were ready to move on that would be translated to me. Plus DD is very verbal and asks those questions of her coaches. She is 7 but so in tune with what she wants.
Thank you all for your imput!

 

[MdGymMom01]

oops--wrong thread. Sorry!

 

[CoachGoofy]

I don't mind questions unless:

a) they are comparing Kid A to Kid B. I talk about Kid B to their parents, not to other parents, & comparing 2 athletes isn't right. This includes "why can Lucy do this? My Suzie can't and they're in the same training group!" Not Suzie's parents' business.

b) they are asking things as insults-if someone is going to ask my age with the implication that I'm too young to have the experience required, that isn't going to go over well. Or if they're going to ask how many of xyz skill I've taught, well....not a fan. I'll be NICE about it, but I won't be thrilled.

c) the question is being used as a way to pin me into making a projection or commitment to a moveup or to the introduction of other skills that I cannot make accurately. I know a lot of parents don't like to hear "she will move up when she is ready", but you can ask me when that'll be all day long and that'll still be the answer. Here's a list of skills & fitness markers, and as I do not have a crystal ball, I can tell you it'll happen when she's ready.

But I really like explaining the sport to parents who are interested--the rules, the physics, the finer points that make the breathtaking routines stand out...I'd not be in it if I didn't enjoy making it make sense for people. I'd rather parents asked me questions than were confused about anything we do--I like to think my rationale is sensible enough for a non gym person to understand once it's explained.

 

[momocay]

As a parent i generally talk to coaches when there is a problem concerning my daughter. She is not one to open up, so occasionally, we get in the car and I hear concerns that she hasnt voiced. I try to encourage her to voice them, but have had to go to coaches myself. For instance, she got hurt on a skill and was afraid to do it. Some coaches didnt believe she had hurt herself, so I addressed it. Turns out the coach who did see her get hurt happened to be there, so that helped. I have also addressed things with coaches when another child is not being very nice. If it gets out of hand I just let them know whats going on, so they can keep an eye on it. I find coaches dont want to talk to parents when they are overly involved in what their children are doing. If you understand you are the parent, but not a gymnastics coach (which I think you do) you should be fine with whatever questions might come about.

 

[gymmom14]

I think you have every right to ask questions about your dd and gym. After all you pay the bills and have every right to be informed, whether you like the honest answers or not. The fact the your dd is only 7 is more of a reason to have a conversation with the coach. I don't think the question you want to ask is whether she is moving up or not. I think you would like an update on how she is progressing. Is she paying attention, working hard, being respectful of her coaches and teammates, making progress on her skills, what is she missing for the next level and is she having FUN etc. I am sure most of this info will not be earth shattering for you, but last year my dd thought she was doing great and when I talked to her coaches, they had a different opinion. They though she was holding back and too cautious in holding herself back. MY dd was shocked to hear this. She thought she was doing fantastic. Once I told her the coaches examples, she totally saw what he was talking about. She then made adjustments and made it to the next level. Bottom line: gymnast reality does not always equal coaches reality!!!

 

[marie83]

I'd just like to agree with all the info other posters have given.
To me, communication between parents and coaches and vice versa is SO important.

Gymnasts don't always understand everything and go home and tell parents 'my coach doesn't like me' so it is important for coaches to explain to parents why something is being done.

A recent example from one of my gymnasts:

She was upset because she thought she was no longer going to be in my group. She told her mum that I was only going to be coaching 2 gymnasts from now on and the rest of my group (7 of them) were going to be coached by a younger coach. Of course mum wasn't happy with this, so the other HC got a phone call from an angry parent demanding to know why and why she was paying the same amount of money for her DD to have a younger coach and 6 other people in her group, when the other 2 were having a level 4 coach and just 2 of them in the group.
Of course this would never happen and the gymnast had completely the wrong end of the stick.
On one particular day we were very short of coaches so I had to have another coach's group - 2 of my gymnasts have competed and are now uptraining, so I moved them into the group with me, and the rest of my group went with another coach and other girls who are yet to compete to focus on routines. I explained this to all the gymnasts at the beginning of the session but this one clearly didn't listen!

 

[bluesocks]

My questions or conversations are almost all about behavior. For example, I recently let them know she was afraid of a certain skill. My DD is not one to express her fear, so by letting them know viam email, they are better able to help her. Otherwise, I think you can ask open ended questions. Something like my DD seems to be enjoying class, how is she doing?

But, I don't think it is bad not to have anything to say, either! Sometime you will and just knowing the door is open is helpful!