Confused mom of a late starter

[gympunkin]

This is my first post. Sorry it is such a long one.

My daughter started gymnastics at age 6.5 in a city recreation program. After about 6 months, she went to a private gym. After about 4 months, they invited her into their pre-team program at level B. The next level up is A, then the team. The coaches were constantly telling me that dd was very good. She moved up to level A and the coaches said she would move to the level 4 team in a few more months. Then during bridge walk, she lost her footing and hurt her back. It was sore for 2 months. We went to 2 orthopedic doctors, including a spine specialist who treats alot of gymnasts. (I am a worrier, but this was her pediatrician's idea, because the initial x-rays were not clear) The spine doctor said dd was fine and could resume gymnastics.

At first, dd did not want to resume gymnastics at all. I convinced her to enroll in a beginning recreation class at another gym (on the theory tht you should get back on a horse after you fall off, even if only once). DD liked the new gym and when they offered her a place on the pre-team, she took it. After a few months, she became frustrated with the perfectionism of the pre-term coaches. I talked to the program coordinator to see if there were any other options. The coordinator said dd had a huge amount of ability, but if dd wanted, she could go to the class for the exibition team, which is basically not as focused on perfection. I was worried because the class went pretty late, which would be a problem during the school year. The coordinator said dd was always welcome to return to the pre-team classes.

So, here, at long last, is my point. School has started for us. The class runs very late. DD cannot stay up that late. So I asked if dd could return to the pre-team. The coach said No. The reason? She is 8. (She turned 8 two monts ago). I feel pretty betrayed. The coach has only had glowing things to say about her ability and how hard she works.

I am not sure what to do. Is 8 really too old to be on a pre-team/developmental team? I don't expect her to go to the Olympics or anything, but dd loves gymnastics, would like to keep learning new skills, and clearly has some abililty to do so. I would appreciate any advice. Should I try to convince the gym to put her back on the pre-team? Should I look for a new gym? I guess I don't trust this gym very much at this point. Am I over-reacting?

Thanks!

 

[sportyspice]

She's definitely not too old - but her coach probably doesnt like being stuffed around - she's tried the pre-team, didnt like it, went to exhibition, didnt like it and now wants back on pre-team? Sounds a bit like a kid who doesnt know what she wants and the coach may be reticent to invest his time and energy in a gymnast who will just suddenly change her mind one day (especially once he puts a bit of pressure on her).

If your DD and yourself truly want to stay at this gym (assuming you have done your homework as to whether this gym fits your DDs aspirations) then I would try to convince the coach he won't be making a mistake in taking on your DD again.

Talent is only a very small part of making a good gymnast - for the most part its perseverance. Persevering through challenges such as a coach you don't like, an injury to rehab, team mates leaving, etc.

 

[gympunkin]

Thanks for your perspective sportyspice. I must not have been clear in my original post.

This gym was a big change from the old gym, and I talked to the program coordinator at this gym about my dd's difficulty adjusting to the higher standards, particularly since she was still somewhat tentative in her movements after her injury. I understood that the move to a slower class would be a breathing period, to see if my dd wanted to, in essence, give up on competitive gymnastics or keep going. I did not originally think that dd was ready for a pre-team class, but the program coordinator had actually told me originally that the pre-team class was a combined pre-team and exhibition class and that the only pressure in the class was whatever the girls put on themselves. Once dd was in the class, it seemed very focused and perfectionistic. There was definitely a lot of pressure to make every tiny gesture perfect. I talked to the coordinator, who acknowledged that it was really the pre-team class. She then said that dd had a huge amount of ability, but if dd really wanted, she could try the seperate exhibition class. She really stressed that dd could return to the pre-team class at any time, including in the fall. I discussed the fact that the exhibition team would not work for us in the fall, since it runs too late.

Now, it is the fall. DD had to decide if she felt ready to go back to the pre-team, or if we should look for a new gym with better hours. She had regained her confidence and improved her strength, and felt that she was ready to go back to the pre-team and would prefer to stay at this gym rather than look for a new one. So, I asked her coach if she could go back to the pre-team. That is when I got the response that she could not go back because she was 8. They have known her age since she enrolled. Maybe I am missing something, but I feel that we were the ones who were jerked around here, not the team coordinator or coach.

I just don't understand. Why tell me dd could come back to the pre-team if they didn't mean it? Is it really unacceptable to want a few months to get used to a new gym and get used to moving again after an injury before taking a very hard class?

 

[emorymom]

Organizing the classes and levels is so complicated with so many different things and personalities going on behind the scenes that it is not uncommon in my experiece to be told X was going to happen and then Y happens. So I think you may be overreacting to the situation. That is not to say that you should not advocate for your child, which may mean switching gyms. You can set up a meeting with the director and ask where she thinks your child should go from here if she wants to do competitive gymnastics. In the gyms of which I am aware that do not start competing until level 4, it's not unusual for kids to be 8 on preteam. My own daughter is about to turn 7 and repeating level 2 team. She has some issues to work through before the coach wants to advance her. I think she is working through them and I think that's fine. If I wanted to move her to my son's gym she would compete level 3 this year, but I like her where she is. She will thus probably compete level 4 as a 9 year old. If I had left her where she was in preschool classes (totally other gym), well, their level 2 team is full of 8-10 year olds! Different philosophy; they make very high scores.

So yes preteam at age 8 is typical for many teams I think.

Not sure what you mean about her having a problem with the coaches' perfectionism? It is a sport where most of us are pleased if our kids are getting a lot of corrections, as it helps them be better and safer. Would she like something like acro dance, competitive cheer, circus arts more?

 

[Kiwi]

I'm a little confused - what was the reason behind changing gyms in the first place?

 

[Gymdad2]

just one comment here - Gymnastics is perfection! And the time to start learning it is pre-team, so if your dd does want to become a competative gymnast (and I really hope for her and you that she does) then her coach is absolutely correct in teaching and expecting the girls to learn and practice that perfection because that is what makes winning gymnasts.

 

[Shelovesthebars]

Eight years old is definately not too late to do preteam. We have 10 year olds on my daughter's level 3 team and no one thinks anything of it. On the contrary, some of the parents complained that my 4 year old now 5 was on the team because she looked so out of place with the older kids. Now they see what she can do and how focused she is and have stopped making comments. My dd's gym will accept anyone who is willing to work hard regardless of age. The key is that they have to know that you are willing to put in the work. Gymnastics is hard and perfecting skills is important.

 

[MdGymMom01]

My dd started pre-team at the age of 9 and started competing Level 4 at the age of 10. There were many kids on her team her age and older that year. Her league is a bit different than USAG (I would compare it to AAU) so a lot of the girls are older when they start. But that doesn't mean they are any less serious or competitive. That first year we had several girls place top 3 at championships in individual events and AA.

Is there a AAU or YMCA program near where you live that she could try out? If she doesn't want to take gymnastics that seriously and just do classes for now, then that is an option also.

 

[nevertooold]

• Telling you she is too old for pre-team means that they do not want your daughter to be on their team. Either b/c she is too old for what they do, some gyms only really want 6 and 7 yr old level 4's, it's just their preference in their program. Or b/c they do not want your daughter for another reason, possibly b/c she did not like the perfectionism before and honestly that can be a pretty big red flag for team/pre-team coaches. Kids who do not enjoy the constant attention to detail just might not like team gymnastics.
• For whatever the reason... if a gym tells you they do not want your child (even if they say it in a roundabout way) go somewhere else. It probably won't get better, and you probably won't change their mind about your child.
• Go back to the gym that had her on level B, or find another gym that does not have a preconceived opinion of her that will give her a fresh chance.

 

[gympunkin]

I am glad to hear that dd is not too old.

We switched gyms because I was unhappy with the situation at the first gym that led up to my dd's injury and she was afraid of the head coach after the injury. The spine doctor we saw indicated that the current gym seemed to have fewer injuries.

I am not sure how to explain what I mean by perfectionism, except to say that it seems to me to be more extreme than at our previous gym. I'm not saying it is a bad thing, just that it was an adjustment for my dd, who went from being constantly praised for her skills to being constantly told to do something over because she was not doing it right. She had already lost confidence from being injured. So we were just looking for a slower class for her to adjust to the gym.

 

[bogwoppit]

Some gyms have a certain style in skills and they work their girls hard to get that look. Even when older and higher level gymnasts change clubs they have to learn to modify technique or body shapes.

Gymnastics is not very exciting at times, to do the same move a thousand or more times in order to perfect it is just dull at times.

YOur girl is not to old, but for some clubs she might be. Maybe you should look for a place with a larger rec programme with levels that she can progress through. Not every kid with talent is cut out for comp gym.

 

[Azgymmiemom]

Hi, and welcome to the CB! Your dd is not too old for preteam. In fact, youngers on preteam and team really seem to be the exception, not the norm. Our gym has many 8 and 9 year olds on preteam , and 10 -12 year olds on the level 4 team(my dd at 7 is the youngest). This gym may just be looking for those "bragging rights" of having younger team members (which is stupid, because they could be missing out on many talented gymmies that way).

Be advised though, that rec gym classes usually focus more on basics and having fun and taking it slow. Once you get into preteam and are going for competitve gymnastics, its all about perfection to the smallest detail and a lot of conditioning. Just something to think about.

I agree with fellow posters that if they told you she was "too old" they just, for whatever reason, don't want her on their preteam now. If that is what she really wants to do, go back to the other gym, or find a new one. Maybe trial at a few or watch their preteam practice to see what their philosophies and style are to find a good match for your dd.

Good luck to her and you!!

 

[GymGirl's Mom]

Hello-

My advice is talk to them again and explain your situation. If they won't budge and your daughter would like to be on pre-team switch gyms.

My DD has been at 2 gyms and both have a pre-team entry age limit of 7. 8 year olds and up can do a "team gym" and/or recreational team program and if progressing quickly can either enter on to the team at level 4 from those programs or compete Prep-Op.

Maybe the track your DD is on will get her on the team too, just at a different way.

 

[B Gymnast]

she's definately not too old! we had a girl on pre-team that wwas 14! and i started gymnastics when i was 9 and i'm a level 7 now.

 

[CoachTodd]

I think the coach that told you she was too old is an idiot. I've coached many kids that started long after the age of 8 and they've done quite well

 

[LizzieLac]

You should ask the coach why they think she is too old for the preteam? What ages are they looking for, etc?

The thing to remember is gym owners and coaches have philosophies for what they think make a successful gymnast and successful team - that is why they "select" kids to be a part of the team.

That being said, the coach may be trying to tell you something subtely (and not very well, it seems). For example, at our gym our HC/Owner is very aware of the dyanamics of older and younger kids being placed on the same level. Older kids might feel out of place on a team of mostly younger kids. Will that affect their workouts? Will that make them self-conscious.

I am not sure if what I described is true in your case. But I have found the best way to get the answers to these questions is to ask to coaches. NOTHING beats upfront communication!

 

[Panda-girl's Mom]

Do they have a different track for the older girls to place on team? I know at our gym preteam group is usually younger kids5-7 but there is an older devolopmental class for older kids. The preteam usually enters team as level 4 where the devo class a lot of them enter at level 5. Did they mention any other options for your daughter. They could also already have the groups for the year and may not have room. Unfortunately there could be other reasons why they do not want your daughter. A lot of gyms are very selective who they want on their team. As for the prefection if your daughter wants to compete USAG that is just how it is run, it is a really tough competitve program IMHO maybe not for everyone. As others have said there are other programs out there besides USAG and girls can compete gymnastics with less pressure. Try talking to your daughter and see what she wants. I would then talk to the gym and look at your options and see what other gyms have to offer.

 

[bookworm]

I think the coach is doing you a favor by refusing to take her back on preteam because she is too old for HIS preteam (not ALL preteams but HIS) ...and by his saying this, although a bit harsh, you don't have to go through the whole "why isn't he working with my daughter?" when he never had any intention to...with that said , I would move on from this and find a gym more in line with what your daughter wants...maybe a rec program or a YMCA program might be a better fit for her at this point.

 

[DbacksMom75]

I agree with the other posters...she is not to old for preteam, just their preteam. When we moved out here we went to a gym and was told that my middle dd was "to old" for their developmental program even though she was 6 at the time because their program only had 3-4 year olds in it. Their "preteam" was strictly 5-6 and my dd wasn't up to their skill level yet.
You have to find the best fit for her, if she really likes this gym then maybe she can do rec classes until she reaches Level 4 then enter the team program. On the other hand this sport is all about repetition and perfection, if she doesn't like that and finds it boring she might like another activity better.

 

[Pickle's Mom]

At Pickle’s gym, she would be considered too old for pre-team, but that’s just the way that they do things. Younger kids who show talent move from developmental to pre-team to team, older kids start in League and then can move to team if they get the skills. And League classes are later in the day, as they are often intended for older girls (and by older, I mean 8 instead of 5).

Every year looks a little different. Sometimes there are a lot of talented 7-9 year olds, and they will create a special class just for them.

I can see why you would be frustrated, since the HC’s story changed, but it’s possible that the situation at the gym has changed as well. Where are the kids your daughter was previously on pre-team with? Have they all moved up to team?