WAG Advise for mom for first meet

[DefiniteMaybe]

In my experience with my three gymnasts, the right thing to say has totally depended on which kid I'm trying to encourage. If she's pretty laid back about the whole thing, it will be much easier. I do think my oldest dd became a very nervous competitor AFTER I mentioned in front of her how nervous I was when she competed. I would suggest not letting your dd know if you are nervous or disappointed. It's probably hard not to be nervous when your mom is nervous. If Mom is nervous, it must be a big deal.

 

[Muddlethru]

At the end of every meet I always give my DD a hug and tell her how proud I am of her. Because no matter what the scores say I am proud of her and what she has accomplished, and that she has the courage to compete at all.

My post may have seemed like I only congratulate my daughter when she does well; hence your qouting only that part. My daughter already knows I am always proud of her. I also feel it is such an overly used phrase. Everytime I use it, my kids just nod it off implying "yeah mom, we already know that." So I use it sparingly. Kids, or at least my kids, are smart enough to know what is said just to make them feel better. They know it when they do well and they know when they did not perform as well.

 

[wnl256]

My post may have seemed like I only congratulate my daughter when she does well; hence your qouting only that part. My daughter already knows I am always proud of her. I also feel it is such an overly used phrase. Everytime I use it, my kids just nod it off implying "yeah mom, we already know that." So I use it sparingly. Kids, or at least my kids, are smart enough to know what is said just to make them feel better. They know it when they do well and they know when they did not perform as well.

Oops. I don't know why I even quoted your post, but it sure does read like I was criticizing you. I apologize, as that was not my intent.

 

[kayjaybe]

My post may have seemed like I only congratulate my daughter when she does well; hence your qouting only that part. My daughter already knows I am always proud of her. I also feel it is such an overly used phrase. Everytime I use it, my kids just nod it off implying "yeah mom, we already know that." So I use it sparingly. Kids, or at least my kids, are smart enough to know what is said just to make them feel better. They know it when they do well and they know when they did not perform as well.

ITA. I have learned not to tell dd that she did great when she knows she didn't. When she falls off the beam 3 times, she doesn't want to hear that she did great and how proud I am of her. I've found it is OK to acknowledge when they struggled on something. "Beam was tough today, wasn't it?" And then let her talk about it if she wants or just give her a long hug.

 

[Short Balding Guy]

Sage advise and info given.

Let me add this resource:



The above link to Doc Ali's Youtube presentation on "Gymnastics Parenting" is distributed to our gymnasts parents. We ask that at our gym's Mock Meet and the 1st Meet coaches gently remind parents of being a Champion Gymnast Parent..
Brief synopsis -
(1) Be Your DD/DS biggest fan. Ask curiosity questions and NOT technical questions.
(2) Stay out of power struggles.
(3) Honor your child's unique gift.
(4) Find the hidden win.
(5) Take care of yourself parent - Get a Life!
(6) Teach responsibility.
(7) Teach good decision making skills.
(8) Gymnastics is a metaphor for life. Celebrate the everyday effort/enjoyment.

Best, SBG -

 

[profmom]

I know this has been said already, but be aware that scores and medal results may not at all reflect how your child feels about an event. If the kid did something that's been a struggle, it may be a huge win even if the score was not so hot and no medal was awarded. And for the high performer, even an event that was won with a good score may not feel all that good.

Regardless, the best strategy for me has always been to help them see and celebrate what went right, even if the only thing that went right was that they had the courage to get back on the equipment after the Nth thing has gone wrong and finish the routine.

Oh, and humor. Good humor helps a lot. Maybe not right away, but eventually. I love hearing my DD acting as a sage, telling a younger gymnast, "You think THAT meet was bad? Let me tell you about my epic vault fail at L6 states!"

 

[vagymmomma]

OP - just let them know how proud you are and take lots of video and pictures. The growth from the first meet will be remarkable and it's always good to remind them how far they've come when they hit the inevitable block later in the sport. The sport takes a commitment even at the lowest levels and that should be praised because it will serve them well in life.

 

[GymCMLA]

If there is a tough event (a fall or miss) tell her how proud you are that she did the next skill beautifully, or the next event was awesome. It is a important skill to put the past in the past and enjoy the rest of the meet/event/routine. I think this helps instill that mental toughness to not wilt and have one mishap become a "bad day".

Kids are so funny... a teammate of DD11, back when they were like 8 fell 6 times on beam as a old L4. Her mom asked if she might try glue next meet for her feet and the gymnast said "no, why". So even when we have reason for them to be crushed, they might not be, so don't encourage them to be upset. They may be 100% past it by the time we see them. That is a good thing.

DD11 fell last year as a 5 on floor - didn't fall all year on beam - but had a floor fall. Front tuck to he hiney. She was given a courage award by the meet (not a home meet). SHe said "Who ever thought I'd get a huge chocolate bar and award for falling"?

We try hard not to talk scores or places. Just about how she felt she did. Last place with a good correction or a personal goal met is an accomplishment.

I always tell DD to have fun and "go get 'em tiger"

 

[ascarter1]

I know this sounds silly, but our team (girls and moms) use essential oils for calming.