Parents Been bothering me.......

[Committed]

As you may remember, my DD is a L3 gymnast at a "rec" gym. Anyway, the owner of the gym keeps telling me that none of the girls at her gym will ever be at the Olympics (okay, obvious, but weird to say to a mom of a girl on the WAG team). She keeps making weird comments that sounds as though non of "her" gymnasts will be amazing ..... not at "her" gym.

We've been planning a move anyway, but I find it disrespectful that she keeps mentioning that none of her gymnasts have talent (so to speak, I know I'm reading between the lines).
Oh, and to be clear, I'm not a "crazy gym mom". I'm there often with my 2 kids, but I don't brag about my kids or think they're super special (well, they are to me ).

It's just been on my mind. That's it.
Sorry for the vent!

 

[GymGirl's Mom]

the owner of the gym keeps telling me that none of the girls at her gym will ever be at the Olympics

Do not know her, but maybe she's trying to just keep it realistic. Honestly- there's a lot of gyms out there and MOST will not promise you the Olympics. I would not take that as the only sign that the gym is not good- or that she doesn't think her gymnasts will be good. Believing your gymnasts are good doesn't mean you believe they will go to the Olympics. I actually find many gyms will be upfront about that- good gyms too. Many will say if you are looking for the Elite path look elsewhere- many many gyms with good sized Optional programs and a healthy sized Level 10 team would say the same thing.

 

[Quadqueen]

I agree with GymGirl's Mom...they may just trying to be realistic, not saying none of the kids have talent. I remember hearing head coach/owner at DD's gym saying something to the effect of...."the chances of any gymnast going to the Olympics are extremely slim"....I didn't take it as, our kids don't have the talent, just that he's realistic.

 

[SGMOM]

I can relate. At one of our first parent meetings, the then head of our team program said that our gym would never be able to compete with gym x. I thought that was such a weird comment, especially since none of our girls had ever competed and many of us had never heard of gym x. Fast forward a few years, and a few coaches later, and our girls can compete just fine.
I read somewhere that one sign of a successful program is that all of the girls feel like they could be an Olympian. As adults, we all know that it's not probable, but there's no point in crushing their dreams in elementary school.

 

[gymgal]

This is very common and I wouldn't take it as the coach saying the girls aren't talented enough. She is saying she is not willing to train to that level. I think it's great that owners are willing to be honest with the parents up front because there are some parents who will move on as a result and the rest will have more realistic expectations. There are very few coaches who are willing to go the extra steps (time, money) to coach toward elite. you have one who its willing to be honest about it from the start.

Sent from my AT100 using ChalkBucket mobile app

 

[GymGirl's Mom]

I read somewhere that one sign of a successful program is that all of the girls feel like they could be an Olympian. As adults, we all know that it's not probable, but there's no point in crushing their dreams in elementary school.

I didn't read the OP as the coach told the girls they can't go to the Olympics, it sounded to me like she was being realistic with the check writers My DD's gym is very upfront with parents that it's not an Elite gym and if you are looking for the Olympics, first you have to be an Elite. That said, ALL of the girls on my DD's team THINK they are going to the Olympics and the coaches aren't telling them "no" kids dream about all sorts of things.

 

[lhmom]

The HC at DD's gym has also always been upfront regarding elite aspirations as well. Her gym is not that type of gym and she always wants the new parents to know that up front maybe before they get too crazy. I know it's never been said to the girls though.

 

[srsjbs]

The Owner/HC is always very realistic with us parents. She is always very honest about kids' burning out, the amount of of kids who actually stick with gymnastics through HS and so on. But when one of the girls tells her that they are going to be in the Olympics she is nothing but encouraging.

In reality because of where we live the chances of any of the girls being in the Olympics is already slimmer than what they already are. It's just reality. But my 6 year old DD is sure that is where she will end up, and I'm not telling her any different

 

[Committed]

I guess its just been bothering me because it's so out of nowhere. The highest competition level we have is L4, so it's obvious they don't train elite, they don't even do optional. So it's not just a "realistic" comment, but obvious. I blew it off the first time. The fact that she said it again is irritating.

 

[Natasha]

As you may remember, my DD is a L3 gymnast at a "rec" gym. Anyway, the owner of the gym keeps telling me that none of the girls at her gym will ever be at the Olympics (okay, obvious, but weird to say to a mom of a girl on the WAG team). She keeps making weird comments that sounds as though non of "her" gymnasts will be amazing ..... not at "her" gym.

We've been planning a move anyway, but I find it disrespectful that she keeps mentioning that none of her gymnasts have talent (so to speak, I know I'm reading between the lines).
Oh, and to be clear, I'm not a "crazy gym mom". I'm there often with my 2 kids, but I don't brag about my kids or think they're super special (well, they are to me ).

It's just been on my mind. That's it.
Sorry for the vent!

Stating that none of her gymnasts will ever be at the Olympics is not at all saying that none of her gymnasts have talent. It takes talent just to get to the higher levels of optionals. It takes a great deal of talent to be a successful L10. Going to the Olympics takes incredible talent along with so much more, as that is only one piece of the equation. For instance, where we live any gymnast with Olympic aspirations would need to move as there are no elite gyms in our area.

 

[kwnative]

The HC/owner of our gym does not train elite by choice. When he was much younger, he coached under Bela Karolyi, and was there during the time Mary Lou Retton was there. He said he saw too many girls give up their whole teenage life with Olympic aspirations, and then it only happens for just a very small percentage of them. Our gym does have a pretty track record of turning out D1 college scholarship recipients, but that is as high as they train, and he is very up front about that. However, if your gym only trains to L4, it sounds like you'll need to change gyms relatively soon anyway, if your daughter wants to go all that far.

 

[JessLW]

I think it is a strange comment to make in the OP's case, at a mostly recreational gym where they don't even have optionals, let alone elites (or even a full set of bars, right?). Like the OP said, it is obvious she is not going to train Olympians if the gym doesn't go past L4. It isn't even a matter of Olympics or not, this gym isn't going to produce any kind of upper level gymnasts.

OP, do you think the coach is feeling a bit defensive perhaps about her program? If I recall, this is the first season they've ever even had a competition team, and the first meet was a bit of a fiasco? Maybe she's trying to manage expectations a bit after competing against some very polished looking teams.

In any case, I wouldn't worry too much about it. Probably the coach just worded things awkwardly.

 

[Committed]

It's not the coach, it's the owner! And she not defensive, as she has thanked me up and down for giving honest feedback about the team. She has talked to us about realistic placing at meets, which I appreciate. I kind of figured DD wouldn't get top 3, but was hoping for top 1/2.
IDK, it was just weird. Coming from a former elite gymnast (another country). I guess I just expected more supportiveness?

 

[Amusibus]

OP, that would bother me too. My daughter IS in a gym where they train elites, and there are subtle comments and little things that make it clear who their superstars are. They definitely push kids towards the highest level possible and the rest are kind of second class citizens. Like I said, it's subtle and definitely unintentional but irksome nontheless. Whatever- as a parent my job is to do what is right for my daughter and be proud of what she does, not lament over what she doesn't do or could have done.

 

[SignHere]

Amusbus, I'm surprised that it "is subtle and unintentional" letting people know who the superstars are. I thought it was extremely common for everyone one the gym to know who they were! And I'm not JUST talking about the girls who are consistently the highest scorers on the team. For that, you can look up on www.mymeetscores.com, by gym. Unless the gym is one where ALL the girls are really strong (like Jacie Phelps) , there are usually a few outliers, score- wise !

OP , as far as your gyms' owners' comments, Vent away, but definitely take them with a grain of salt. It seems to me that gyms tend to focus on rec, compulsory , optional, or NCAA track or elite track. Owners/ head coaches are variable in their desire and ability to convince parents of the correctness of their "position ". I had a conversation (unsolicited) last year with our HC where he tried to convince me that competing Level 10 in preparation for trying for a college scholarship was much less likely to lead to injury or burnout and quitting and was healthier for a gymnast than competing Elite. He trains level 10 JO and his level 10 gymnasts are very successful in getting scholarships.

See what I mean? He just put a different spin on it!

 

[sglemon]

You woul be surprised, the parents that walk into a gym with a rec student, react when you tell them, they can't go to the Olympics in this gym. We go to level 10 and don't train elite. People just don't understand how gymnastics is structure. You could explain levels, vs elite, but they really don't understand, until Olympics is mentioned.