Parents DD's Attachment to Coach

[NYG]

I'm sure this is more common than I know, but was wondering has your DD/DS ever been so attached to a coach she comes home crying because they miss that coach?

My DD's lvl 4 coach left for another local gym and she was devistated. The coach was kind enough to meet with my DD a couple of months after she left just to say hi and catch up. Now my DD is moving up from lvl 5 to lvl 7 so she has a whole new group of coaches. Again, she is coming home in tears, and talking about how much she misses her lvl 5 coach. Apparently one of her new coaches is a disciplinarian and doesn't get along with him just yet. She does like her other coach but not at the same level as her lvl 5 or lvl 4 coaches.

It's hard to see her so sad. Nothing we say seems to comfort her. I'm sure over time she will move along, but she was very playfull with the others and they really seemed to enjoy her "spunk". The optional coaches are definitly much more serious during practice. Not that the lvl 4/5 coaches were lazy, they just seem to understand better that these are young girls 7/8/9 years of age.

Anyone else have this issue? I'm guessing time is the only cure.

 

[Gymmom495]

I think it is only natural for them to become attached to their coaches especially when they are training as many hours as they are (for my daughter 25 hours a week) however the higher in level they go the more serious and strict the training will become. If the coach wasn't hard on her that's when I would worry. I believe that "some" coaches are hard on girls/boys because they see the potential in them and want them to succeed.

 

[GymMom67]

My DD cries on the last day of practice right before she gets moved up, every single time. She tells me it is because she will miss her coaches. I remind her that she will still see them every single day, and will work with most of them again when she gets to a higher level.

 

[cbifoja]

Unfortunately coach changes are a part of this crazy sport! I really like the way our gym handles things. Throughout the competition season, each team has their own coach. S/he's the one that attends the meets with them each time and does the majority of training. But after state meet, we go into larger training groups that bust the old teams up and our coaches do event coaching. So everyone gets Coach Barb and Coach Bart on the bars and Coach Bea and Coach Ben on the beam and Coach Flo and Coach Frank on the floor and Coach Veronica and Coach Vernon on the vault. And then, when the next season comes up, you've been working with all the coaches so it's not such a shock for the girls when they find out who "their" coach is.

 

[Aussie_coach]

This is one reason why having one coach for a team of girls can be negative. If the gym has the staff I love the practise of multiple coaches working with each group on different events. That means if a coach leaves or changes groups its not quite as devastating to the girls. They have lots of people who care about them and their progress and who they feel familiar and safe with.

when kids get very attached to a particular coach, its not uncommon to have the kids leave when the coach does.

 

[NYG]

Thanks for the replies. I was able to talk to the "tough" coach after practice and set up a private for my DD, mostly so she can get to know him better. I let him know she is intimidated by him and he said he knew. In a great move by him, he spoke directly to my DD, and told her he never expects perfection, just the willigness to try. He went on to say as long as she continues to try he will make her better. It was a short but affective conversation between the two and she seems more open to his style of coaching. Also, just for the record, he's not just some heavy handed coach telling the kids they're doing it wrong, he will point out the positives and negatives equally. But for my DD it seems the negatives stick a bit longer than the positive, and honestly I'm the same way, but I tend to take the negative to drive me to my goals.

Aussie_Coach, I asked if trying another sport or taking a break from gym and that wasn't an option for her. I tend to ask her that question often, but she always tells me she will let me know when or if she's ready to stop. I played sports from Elementary to High School and intermeral leagues after that, and I have never seen a sport that requires so much dedication from such young children before, so I'm constantly concerned about her being over worked or just drained. Some days I wish she would choose another sport b/c it is so demanding but there seems to be no other sport that drives her like gym. Her only other passion is art and at the moment she's able to have both.

 

[Aussie_coach]

It's very true, there are not many sports that require the same sort of dedication that gymnastics does. But in most ways this is a good thing not a bad thing. The kids really learn the meaning of dedication and commitment, they learn to set goals and work towards them endlessly. This provides some amazing life skills for their adult years.