Parents Do you let your child go with coach to big meets?

[shelovestoflip]

Our family has to make a decision about an upcoming big important meet and wanted to hear experiences and thoughts from other parents. Our coach has asked that our child go without us and our child would be the only one going from our gym. I love our coach and trust them, that is not the concern. They would be gone 5 days and would have to fly. Our child has not been on a plane except once as a toddler. I know for me it takes 2-3 days for my ears to feel normal and worry how my child's ears would be too and would that effect the meet. They would only fly in one day before the meet. And just selfishly, we would love to see the meet since it is such an important meet. I keep going back and forth in my head what we should do. Our child seems ok to go out with only coach, but not sure if that is just because the coach talked about doing that and sort of feels like that is what should happen but then also says that would want us to come too. Our child seems just as unsure as we do.

Why on earth would a coach ask that your child go without you? You don't say what age/level your child is however my daughter is 15 and she still wants me to go to all of her meets!

Personally, I wouldn't do it. Especially as you say he/she seems unsure, too.

 

[skschlag]

See, age and level make no difference to me. One kid, one non-parent adult is just a no-no. Too much training in boy scouts, school, etc. You just don't do it. And I can't imagine a coach that would want to put themselves in that position.

(and congratulations Let me know if you come too!)

 

[cbifoja]

See, age and level make no difference to me. One kid, one non-parent adult is just a no-no. Too much training in boy scouts, school, etc. You just don't do it. And I can't imagine a coach that would want to put themselves in that position.

(and congratulations Let me know if you come too!)

Really???? That's so funny because that would play a big part in my decision. If I had a teenage optional who was going to a big meet for possible scholarship exposure or meet prestige....well, that would make it much more valid to me than an 8 year old L4 going to some "big meet."

And if it was a teenage girl with a male coach...uh hell no. And any male coach stupid enough to put himself in that position wouldn't be teaching my kid anyway! But a heterosexual woman staying with a female gymnast doesn't bother me.

But I am still hung up on the coach requesting the parent to stay behind. That's what freakin'
my alarms.

 

[Firefly]

Definitely not. I will travel with my child if she is leaving town and staying in a hotel. She is 8. I am in charge of her. If the meet is on the second day, and she's the only one competing....why are they staying for 5 days? And what are they going to be doing during all that time? Because that's a LONG time. Yikes. The hair is standing up on the back of my neck. Even if the coach is totally on the up-and-up, this just comes across as really strange. To ASK you not to come so they can go just the two of them? No. Never. No way.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

No, why are they requesting to go alone? If the child is a nervous competitor then just don't attend the meet.

 

[Quadqueen]

Not that it matters, but I think this is a boy and a male coach?? No way in %$#* would that ever happen in my family.

For what it's worth - a boy at our gym is going to the meet I *think* you're referring to, and of course he will be traveling with a parent! I can't imagine them asking the parents to stay home.

 

[Dr Maleficent]

There are lots of references to this mysterious meet being 'big'. I wouldn't care if it was the Olympics, my minor child would not travel alone with one adult. End of story. Plus obviously I would be there - I've seen that P and G commercial and I want my tearful hug!

 

[Momof2]

Absolutely not. I am also curious as to why they don't want you to go. I want to be there when my children compete at meets so if they said I shouldn't go I would have an issue with that.

 

[my4buffaloes]

I don't see what the sex of child or coach has to do with it. My dh is a teacher and coach (not gymnastics) and you have to be so careful. He wouldn't even give rides home to the players on his team - you just can't put yourself into any situation that would give anyone reason to wonder or a chance to make accusations. And to be told that the parents need to stay home just ups the speculation making me much more nervous.

 

[bookworm]

Unless it's for something like TOPS camp or developmental camps in TX where the kids generally travel with their coaches (but stay in separate housing) , I can't see where I'd abide by this edict...even if she's going to an elite qualifier , those are held in conjunction with regular meets and have spectators in attendance...I don't really "get" why you can't go

 

[bogwoppit]

In a word "No".

 

[lovemygymnast]

Nope, I personally couldn't put my child on an airplane without my husband or I. I also trust our coaches with my DD but would never allow this. Male or female doesn't matter to me. It's the distance and length of time.

 

[bogwoppit]

I would let my child fly with a coach, but I would not let them room with them. KIds fly to the ranch all the time with a coach, they stay in rooms with other gymmies.

 

[LilHawkMom]

Thank you for all the feedback! I was really surprised to see all the no's, I had thought it was common practice in gymnastics and I was the weird one for not wanting my kid to go without me. Our coach had traveled alone when they did gymnastics so it sounded like this was the norm.
I didn't give more info at first because I didn't want answers based on gender and age alone. My son is 12 and is for the boys equivalent to girls national tops meet. It would be a female coach (other male coaches not going). I trust this coach and she is a friend (I helped watch her kids a lot and other things outside of gymnastics and know her for many years.) In the past years for this same meet they have always said we could just send our son out without us because they know how hard financially it is on us but we always scraped it together to go with him. Now this year they say they want us to seriously consider it and give it a try to see how he does and handles the meet. I think they are trying to help him be more mentally tough.

 

[bogwoppit]

Is there another gym in your area who has a gymnast going? Maybe your clubs can connect and share accomodation? I know here for Nats etc the gymnasts stay together and travel together even though they are from different clubs.

I just do not see how a grown woman can room alone with a 12 year old child that is not her own. Just asking for problems.

 

[auswi]

B

Thank you for all the feedback! I was really surprised to see all the no's, I had thought it was common practice in gymnastics and I was the weird one for not wanting my kid to go without me. Our coach had traveled alone when they did gymnastics so it sounded like this was the norm.
I didn't give more info at first because I didn't want answers based on gender and age alone. My son is 12 and is for the boys equivalent to girls national tops meet. It would be a female coach (other male coaches not going). I trust this coach and she is a friend (I helped watch her kids a lot and other things outside of gymnastics and know her for many years.) In the past years for this same meet they have always said we could just send our son out without us because they know how hard financially it is on us but we always scraped it together to go with him. Now this year they say they want us to seriously consider it and give it a try to see how he does and handles the meet. I think they are trying to help him be more mentally tough.

In lots of Aussie papers a school teacher (female) has been found guilty in the last week of sexually abusing a 10 year old boy, she was a friend to the family , her kids were friends with the boy... It can and still does happen....just saying......
Is it possible to fund raise to accompany your son- if he is asking for you he possibly won't be as focused if you aren't there?
My kid still wouldn't go no matter the size of the meet- and we have healthy well adjusted teen age Ds's

 

[skschlag]

Really???? That's so funny because that would play a big part in my decision. If I had a teenage optional who was going to a big meet for possible scholarship exposure or meet prestige....well, that would make it much more valid to me than an 8 year old L4 going to some "big meet."

And if it was a teenage girl with a male coach...uh hell no. And any male coach stupid enough to put himself in that position wouldn't be teaching my kid anyway! But a heterosexual woman staying with a female gymnast doesn't bother me.

But I am still hung up on the coach requesting the parent to stay behind. That's what freakin'
my alarms.

To me, as a former coach of a different sport, teacher and cub scout/boy scout leader, it has been ingrained that you are NEVER alone with a child, no matter what age. Period. It is too risky. There are too many issues, too many things that could happen. And there is no one there to help you. It is just a big no to me.

 

[Natasha]

Is this a meet where the boys are housed together and the coaches separate like the National Tops camp? If so then I can understand.

 

[my4buffaloes]

Yes if they are housed separately then I understand. Other than that I can't picture a situation where this would be good.

 

[wgymmom]

Unless she was on the National Team and had tons of overseas assignments, no. Like others have said, watching my gymnast perform is the good stuff and I don't want to miss it!