WAG Inattentive coach! Any tips on how to deal with this?

[Mack_the_Ripper]

This just makes me so angry. I'm an optional gymnast and my group is about 6-8 girls from levels 7 to 10, depending on the day. We have two coaches, one who always coaches beam and the other who always coaches floor. The beam coach coach is great, very talented, she makes me feel like I'm successful when I make improvements even if the end product isn't beautiful.

The other coach barely pays attention to me or the other level 7s and 8s. She gets really excited if someone makes a "big" skill like a double back or a new release move, but she isn't interested in the grunt work it takes to learn a new skill for the untalented people like me. Today she said two things to me throughout a five-hour practice, "That one was better" (tumbling pass) and "Keep your legs together" (vault). So, I suppose I'm to assume that everything else was absolutely perfect? I'm not a natural tumbler and I know it's not going to improve without feedback, and I know a lot of the lower-level optionals feel the same way I do about her coaching.

My real question is, how do I not get worked up about this? This is my last year in gymnastics so it's not a super big deal if my tumbling sucks. But it still makes me angry on principle, not to mention that I have a whole competition season left and I want to do the best floor routines I am capable of.

 

[LizzieLac]

My itinitial reaction is not to say that this is your last year, so it doesn't matter if your tumbling sucks. No matter what the conditions, if it matters to you, it matters. And, heck, it just matters. The coaches are supposed to coach - give correction, explain things, and tell you how to train. They do not, however, HAVE TO praise you. I know that is not what you seeking, but I have found that some coaches (just like people in general) are not capable of praise. This coach may never give you that.

But you do deserve coaching and corrections. I always tell my DD that she has a relationship with her coach (yes, we pay, but that is not what I mean). This relationship entitles her to ask questions, look for feedback, request to do certain things. You may not like the response, but I believe the relationship is two-way. So, why don't you ask this coach how a skill was after you perform it? Ask for feedback. Ask her if you did something correctly. Be respectful, but specifically, ask her if she has a second to watch you do something. You may not like the answer, or she may say that she doesn't have time to watch (or make some other excuse), but if you specifically go to her and say you want her feedback, then in a way that may stroke her ego, but you also show that you are interested in improving and that you see the relationship as a two-way street.

My two cents, for what it is worth.

 

[Aussie_coach]

Speak to the head coach, if it was my gym I would want to know that the kids are feeling this way. Some people are great gymnasts but not great coaches and have trouble getting a kids from point A to point B. Others do have favourites and may not even realise they are putting all their attention onto one kid and not another.

just one other thing, why is it your last year of gymnastics? You sound like you love it, why give it up?

 

[Mack_the_Ripper]

Thank you for your replies. I think the "two-way street" concept is a great idea; I'm a bit uncomfortable asking directly for feedback, it's not in my personality, but I can definitely do it. Unfortunately, this coach is the head coach but she isn't the gym owner, and I think the gym owner is in a bit of a superior position so I can speak to her.

As for the last year thing...I'm going off to college next year and my top choices don't offer club gymnastics. If I can keep up with it privately, I may, but the costs may be too steep depending on my situation.

 

[iwannacoach]

Talk to the coach. If you're as open and sincere with her as you've been on this thread, you may just open her eyes to some of the things she's missing........Like "tapping into" the human spirit that walks through the door each day when you and your fellow level 7's and 8's arrive for practice. That spirit accounts for more progress and achievement than anything else.

Tell her the same things you've already told us, and that you want to be challenged to do more and to have the same expectations place upon you, and the same corrective coaching as the "upper" level kids, because that's the only way the two of you can reach your full potential.....and that's something any coach should want.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

sometimes you have to bug the coach...nicely...ask a gazillion questions...she'll have to answer a few. lol.

 

[wallinbl]

But you do deserve coaching and corrections. I always tell my DD that she has a relationship with her coach (yes, we pay, but that is not what I mean). This relationship entitles her to ask questions, look for feedback, request to do certain things. You may not like the response, but I believe the relationship is two-way. So, why don't you ask this coach how a skill was after you perform it? Ask for feedback. Ask her if you did something correctly. Be respectful, but specifically, ask her if she has a second to watch you do something. You may not like the answer, or she may say that she doesn't have time to watch (or make some other excuse), but if you specifically go to her and say you want her feedback, then in a way that may stroke her ego, but you also show that you are interested in improving and that you see the relationship as a two-way street.

I bet this works for two reasons - one, the coach will answer the questions you ask. Two, coaches are human, so they naturally have some kids they like (even if they technically shouldn't) and probably give more feedback to those. If you build a relationship with this coach just by talking to her, you may find that she pays more attention and provides more feedback.

As much as it shouldn't happen, coaches are human (and so are parents, etc), so it does happen.

 

[Muddlethru]

It certainly does not seem fair. Of course, one coach cannot see all the mistakes of everyone they are coaching at any given time. I tried to recall my time as a dance teacher. And I will admit, I was usually drawn to watching the naturally gifted dancer. It is not intentional. So sometimes I miss watching a less talented dancer go across the floor. But I never intentionally skip them over or concentrate only on the talented ones. A good coach and teacher will find it equally rewarding to see improvement on all the students under their tutelage. But as we know not all coaches are great coaches.

The only way you Cannot get worked up over this inattentive coach is to simply to not personalize it. But don't hesitate to ask questions. Listen to the corrections she makes to other gymnasts and learn from those. You don't only benefit from the corrections made directly to you but a great deal can be learned from corrections made to others. When I was training as a dancer, for every teacher that loved me, there were always those that did not care for me. It certainly motivates you and makes you feel better when you have the support of a mentor, but I did not let those who did not like me bother me (try going on auditions--oh my goodness, some reeeally nasty people!) Like everything in life, you try to move on. I wish you a truly great and rewarding last year in gymnastics. May you reach and surpass all your goals.