Parents Mean girl

[LTmom]

Hi, if you read my other post “reforming cgm”...I’m here with another, related problem.

LT moved into devo class in January and was put in the most advanced group within that class. She’s been complaining that a girl in the class is mean. Mean like pushing, kicking. I told her to stay away from the mean girl and point out to me which girl it is. She’s not even sure of the girl’s name.

Meanwhile, another devo mom was telling me that her daughter (also just moved into devo in January) was complaining about a mean girl. Her daughter is TINY, like a head shorter than everyone else. Lo and behold, it’s the same mean girl.

I’m guessing that the mean girl is jealous and feels threatened because she’s been in this class for 13 months and everyone has been moved up except for her and her other been-in-the-class-for-13 months friend. And she picks on DD because she moved into the advanced group right away, and the other girl because she’s tiny.

We don’t know mean girl’s mom. Also don’t want to be whiner tattler moms. I’ve been role playing with DD, lightly shoving her and having her practice what to say to me. Then I’ll have her shove me and I’ll use my assertive voice and face to tell her stuff like “Don’t push that’s not nice.”

What would you do?

 

[suebee]

I would not assume you know why the mean girl is mean. You don’t even know her.

Your dd is young, right? At that age, I’d just talk to the coach. Tell her that your dd says that a girl a pushing her and kicking her at practice. Coach can keep out a closer eye. You can ask coach whether she wants your dd to tell her when an incident happens.

I don’t think going to the coach is being a whiner tattler mom. I hope no coach or teacher would think that pushing and kicking are okay.

If you talk to the coach with the other mom, then she can also talk about her dd’s experience with the mean girl.

 

[gymdog]

You definitely need to let the coaches know if there is a child who is pushing and kicking. Just give them a heads up.

 

[sce]

You definitely need to let the coaches know if there is a child who is pushing and kicking. Just give them a heads up.

I agree that is unacceptable and it is not whining or tattling to address it with the coach. Everyone should feel safe to go to gymnastics class.

 

[raenndrops]

Honestly, you or your daughter should say something to the coach.
Alternatively... (a more passive-aggressive approach) since you have already role played, you could have your daughter ask the girl to stop... or TELL her to stop because it isnt nice...
Then, if it happens again, you daughter needs to say it LOUDER... "I asked you stop pushing / kicking me. It's not nice. You need to stop NOW!"
It should be loud enough that the coach will hear her... but make sure she is looking at the GIRL and not the COACH when she does it.

 

[LTmom]

It looks like the problem solved itself. The mean girl and her friend were removed from the class. Not for this, but I think they basically got moved out of the JO track.

But thank you for your insights. I will be sure to refer to this when there are more mean girls (and there always are, in life, unfortunately).