Parents Oh dear did I mess up big time.....

[Bella's Mom]

We had "move ups" in our gym about a month ago. Bella's preteam class and last year's L3s all started training together for L4 (our gym has decided not to compete L3 anymore). Bella was very excited to be an L4 and to start competing and I encouraged her enthusiasm because it is fun to watch and I was very proud of her.

Turns out that the gym is going to use the two summer months of June and July to evaluate all the girls and decide who will compete L4 and who will not. Oh dear. I thought it was a guarantee or I wouldn't have told Bella that she would be competing.

I'm going to feel like such a schmuck if she doesn't make it. She doesn't have her splits for the floor routine and still sometimes has some maturity issues. I've tried to gently introduce the concept of doing another year of preteam but so far all I get is the "are you insane" look from her.

If she doesn't make it, can I move in with one of you????

 

[MaryA]

Sure, we have a guest bedroom...

Cross your fingers and hope it all works out O.K. If she doesn't make it, is there a way you can put a positive spin on it? "Oh, actually that's great news because it means you still have time to take _________!" (ballet, soccer, bungie jumping, mud wrestling... whatever other thing she might be interested in?)

 

[Bella's Mom]

She wants to learn how to fence but I'm just not sure it's smart to arm her if she doesn't make it. LOL

She plays soccer to appease her father when he talks about balance in life but her heart isn't in it and it shows. She has mentioned Girl Scouts so maybe that would be a possibility.

 

[gym law mom]

Have they said what the girls not selected for L4 will train in the fall? Keep working with the other L4s or become a seperate group? Is there a spring season that would be a possibility for those not ready in the fall?
All you can do is be encouraging which ever way it turns out.

 

[cher062]

I'll have the guest room ready LOL.. 2 months really is more time than you think I've seen these kids get remarkable skills in that time frame. Think positive and hope for the best. then take a big gulp explain that competing L4 in the fall isn't a guarentee she has to work hard and show the coaches she is ready and can do the skills and you just know she can do that.

I think we have all had this big boo boo at one time or another.

 

[NGL780309]

I would just say tell her to work really hard and whatever happens it doesn't matter as long as she tried her best. It's certainly a lesson all of our kids have to learn at some point. I hope it works out for her. How did they originally explain it to you and how did you find out it wasn't a sure thing everyone would be competing?

 

[Bella's Mom]

Have they said what the girls not selected for L4 will train in the fall? Keep working with the other L4s or become a seperate group? Is there a spring season that would be a possibility for those not ready in the fall?
All you can do is be encouraging which ever way it turns out.

No they haven't said. I assume it would just be pre team again. Truth is, the staff probably doesn't even know yet. I'm assuming that they are just in a holding pattern over summer until they have definite ideas of which girls are competing where and then they'll deal with the ones who aren't going to compete.

I've not seen much level mixing in the middle of the comp season so it would surprise me if those who don't get to compete in the fall/winter would be moved to team in the middle of the year. I haven't even heard of girls moving up a level in the middle of the year.

 

[Bella's Mom]

I would just say tell her to work really hard and whatever happens it doesn't matter as long as she tried her best. It's certainly a lesson all of our kids have to learn at some point. I hope it works out for her. How did they originally explain it to you and how did you find out it wasn't a sure thing everyone would be competing?

First we were told that Bella would be moving up to team in the spring. At the time, that meant the L3 team which is what we expected.

At some point, the HC decided that our gym wasn't going to compete L3 and since she was moved to workouts with the current L3s/next year's L4s, silly me wrongly assumed that she was still being moved up to team but that team meant L4 now.

WRONG!!!

I found out that this wasn't given in an informal progress meeting with Bella's coach after her private last week. She told me that B was still struggling with focus and that she needed to improve ability to focus if she wanted to compete this fall. Then the coach told me that at the end of summer she and the HC would make a determination of which girls would be competing. She told me that Bella and a few others were borderline.... Bella for maturity issues and the others because of skill issues.

I was stunned to say the least. My first thought was how would Bella handle the disappointment if she wasn't allowed to compete. She has voiced in the past that she would rather compete L4 at a different gym than L3 at our gym. This really upset me because that's not what our family is about. We don't quit and run away when we don't get what we want when we want it.

So I guess for now, all I can do it cross my fingers that she can mature a little more over the summer and that she is able to get her splits.

 

[gymnut1]

Well at least splits is one thing she can practise at home.

 

[gym_mom]

I had almost the exact same issue with my dd when it came time for her team to move to lvl 4. Her coach thought she wasn't focused, and it's true, but it was because she was doing so many other things at the time and we assumed level 4 was when the real work started. Oops.
I hate to say that I became that mom, but I did. I had a big talk with her coach when she didn't get moved up with her team and he agreed to give her a chance. I'm so glad he did because as soon as she was on a competitive team, she became laser focused and has been that way ever since, bringing home top scores at meet after meet.

Maybe they can give your dd a trial to see if she gains the focus theyre looking for?

Sent from my PC36100 using Tapatalk

 

[Deleted member D3987]

lol! kids are something...

 

[GymGirl's Mom]

If I were you I'd talk to her about it now. I would say- I met with your coaches and everyone on your team from last year are all training for the Level 4 team this summer but they will pick who gets to compete it at the end of the summer. Let her know it's up to HER to show them she is ready. Be honest with her. Tell her what the coaches say she still needs to work on--- maturity. In kid terms explain what maturity is and giver her some examples of what a "mature" gymnast would do and what a "not ready" gymnast would do at practice. Tell her she has a chance but she needs to show them she can do it.

DD was in the same boat a few years back at age 5. She didn't make the team due to maturity issues- she was goofy, silly and sometimes uncooperative and unwilling to try certain skills the coaches were teaching them. Her effort overall was lacking and it showed. Flash forward 6 months and she was a whole different kid. Now 2 years later she is one of the most focused, hardest workers on her team- her coaches always tell me they love working with her. It took some growing up both internally and for DD externally to get there. It also took her deciding if this was really what she wanted to do. Two months is a long time for a little one- give her the info and the tools/advice and see if she is able to impress the coaches with her drive and determination to make the Level 4 team.

 

[GymGirl's Mom]

She has voiced in the past that she would rather compete L4 at a different gym than L3 at our gym. This really upset me because that's not what our family is about. We don't quit and run away when we don't get what we want when we want it.

I just want to second your feelings on this. Don't leave for greener pastures if she doesn't make it. If you like this gym and trust the coaches and their opinions stay! She is young and has a ton of time to be on the Level 4 team- if not this year- she'll rock it next year.

 

[Bella's Mom]

That's good advice about telling her it means to be mature. I find myself guilty of throwing around words and assuming she knows what it means. Funny because I don't do that in my classroom but I teach high school so maybe that's why.

And thanks for the reassurance of not moving to another gym. Ironically, it was the gym owner that first mentioned the concept of "other gym" to her. She probably didn't realize at the time that there were other gyms. LOL But a casual mention of their existence stuck with her. I've even told her before that she isn't switching just because she doesn't get what she wants. If she eventually outgrows our gym or a huge issue comes up that can't be resolved, that is one thing, but to leave just so you can compete L4 rather than L3 or to do another year at preteam isn't an acceptable reason. Not given how wonderful our HC and gym staff has been to us.

 

[cathiann]

I'd talk with her about it and let her know that she really needs to work on listening, etc. in order to compete L4. Only fair to warn her that her lack of attention, whatever might be what holds her back.

 

[MamaofEnS]

If I were you, I would just be honest with her. I would explain that you thought she automatically would be competing, but now you know that there is more to it than that. Like other said, explain what being a mature gymnast means, and if you are allowed to watch her practices, then afterward give her positive feedback, like "I saw you looking at the coach and nodding your head when he was talking to you, that shows the coach that you are paying attention and learning what he is telling you. Good job!" Good luck and keep us posted.

 

[Pickle's Mom]

If I were you I'd talk to her about it now. I would say- I met with your coaches and everyone on your team from last year are all training for the Level 4 team this summer but they will pick who gets to compete it at the end of the summer. Let her know it's up to HER to show them she is ready. Be honest with her. Tell her what the coaches say she still needs to work on--- maturity. In kid terms explain what maturity is and giver her some examples of what a "mature" gymnast would do and what a "not ready" gymnast would do at practice. Tell her she has a chance but she needs to show them she can do it.

I agree with this completely. In fact, I used something similar with Pickle. It's very hard when the girls feel moving up is out of their control. But it's important to help them break down their behaviors, etc.to figure out what they need to do to get there.

 

[mariposa]

You didn't messed up. It was an honest assumption. I agree with those that said to talk to her about what they are looking for and what she needs to do to have her best chances of getting to do level 4 team. That is all you can do. Don't be so hard on yourself.