Parents Oh, dear.

[gym_mom]

My DD is generally a very good kid who listens to her mom with a minimum of whining. We were at the playground with her friend the other day and when it was time to go, she basically just flat out refused to leave. This is very unusual for her, but what surprised me even more was when she said, "If you make me leave, I'll quit! I'll quit gymnastics!"

Woah.

I stopped everything and sat her down right there in the playground to have a heart to heart. I let her know that gymnastics is her sport and if she ever wants to quit, that's fine by me (I'll save a ton of $$$!). I reminded her that she should never feel like she's doing this sport for me, or anyone but herself, and that I will love her and be proud of her no matter what she chooses to do.

When our heart-to-heart was over, she still didn't want to leave, but she sincerely apologized on the way home (one of those real, unprompted apologies).

Have any of you ever experienced a moment like that? What did you say to your dd/ds?
I felt so taken aback because I feel like I try really hard not to project my excitement over her gymnastics accomplishments (or sadness over her struggles) too strongly. I don't want to be one of those moms, you know? At the same time, I want to support her. It seems like a tough thing to balance, but I do my best.

 

[Sarah'sMom]

I bet you if you called her bluff and said "ok" she would have backed down very quickly. She might sense how you enjoy the sport too - much of it, I'm sure, is enjoying the fact that she is enjoying it. And, she wanted to stay so she tried a new strategy, perhaps without thinking it out all the way, or even thinking that you also enjoy it so much that you would not allow her to make her sacrifice.

I wouldn't overly worry that she's doing gymnastics just because of you. I from time to time remind my daughter that it has to be what she wants and not what anyone else wants and that she can quit at any time. She tells me its what she wants and she also tells me that she gets a lot of enjoyment out of the fact that I enjoy watching her gymnastics. So, the two aren't completely separable. What's important, however, is that she is primarily doing it for her. I recall my daughter trying the quit gymnastics thing too, and I told her ok, and did back off and change her story.

Btw, my almost 5 year old son tried to get his way by saying that he would refuse to wear his car seat. You can guess who won that little battle - 5 year old son went promptly home without the wanted toy and, of course, belted in his seat belt.

 

[jcs]

As my mom told me just the other day, "She knows how to push your buttons." DD is only just getting started and has said she hates it and wants to quit. I truly believe she was being emotional about having a bad day but boy did it send me for a tailspin.

It is probably also one of the few things your DD feels like she really does have control over, and while you have told your DD the sport is for her and not you....you probably will be sad if she quits only because you know she loves it. That's where I am right now, I see DD's eyes light up when she is trying new skills and even practicing what she has learned around the house so it is difficult for me to accept she doesn't want to do it, I think she is just being stubborn and doesn't want to go back on what she said.

It sounds like your DD realized that wasn't something to use as a threat, but definitely realizes it is a "big" thing in both of your lives.

 

[cathiann]

Sounds like the talk was a good one!

 

[Kiwi]

My DD flat out refused to go to her ballet lesson the other day and said she was sick of ballet and wanted to quit. Today she went to ballet class quite happily. I think maybe she was just overtired the other day. Kids say a lot of things they don't really mean when they're in a bad mood.

 

[txgymfan]

My mom told me over and over as a kid "don't cut off your nose to spite your face". I would talk my self in circles although I am convinced that part of it was her overenthusiam for any activity.