Parents People quitting left and right

[MamaofEnS]

I am worried because a lot of my dd's teammates have quit in the last month or so. These girls are her friends, so it is hard for her to see them go. Her closest friend just announced she was quitting last week. My dd still doen't know.

My own dd sometimes talks about quitting, but I know how much she loves the sport. How do I encourage her when her friends keep quitting?

 

[gym monkeys mom]

This is a hard thing but is enevitable in this sport if you look at the numbers as the levels go up.

My DD had all her team leave after level 6 it was a hard next year at level 7. She was all alone but she really appreciated the other girls in the gym snd branched out her friend pool.

The next year she had a huge team as a 2nd year Level 7. This season as a level 8 she has only 1 teammate at and she is happier than when she had a huge team.

She said it gives them a chance to meet girls at meets they rotate with but minimizes the drama meets somtimes have with big teams. They always have a big work out group at the gym as all our optionals work out together.

It is always hard to loose teammateds but it happens and transitions are good learning times for kids.

Best wishes to your DD.

 

[Aussie_coach]

There are certain ages when the drop out rate accelerates. Around age 12 is a big drop out age, this is usually when kids start to get more social, parents are allowing them to spend more time with friends and there are more social pressures to start hanging out and being accepted.

Also around the start of high school there is a big drop out, kids start to feel pressure to be a part of school teams and school activities, study more, get a part time job, get a boyfriend and so on.

Around age 10 also tends to have a big drop because kids interests begin to change.

 

[Gymmonkeymomma]

Since the end of October, we have lost four Level 8's and 4 Level 7's. They ranged from 12 to 16. It is a tough age. One of them is my own DD, but I think she does love gymnastics even though she claimed otherwise, and she will be joining the JOGA team, a much less intense program, in a couple of weeks after taking a break. She did not quit because other girls, she just could not handle the pressure. There is one girl who is L7 whose mom told me that she fears her DD will quit soon because she is the only one left. After there is one other girl who only comes sporadically, and there is my little one who is too young to really matter to this girl. I told the mom it would be a real shame if she quit only because her friends did.

 

[cathiann]

Why does she want to quit, when she talks about it? I guess I'd look at her reason before encouraging her to stay--maybe everyone is quitting because of a really bad coach? Maybe they are all just discovering other things to do (sorry, I don't know how old your DD is). If she's talking about quitting just because her friends are--then remind her of how much she loves gymnastics. She shouldn't be there just for friends--there are far easier things to do with them--and you can always make an effort to keep her in touch with those friends. (I know at our gym those that quit still see the team girls--and they come watch their meets too)

 

[Panda-girl's Mom]

This has happened to my daughter and sadly I think they just get used to it. Her first year everybody in her whole orginal group left except 1, last year she had 2 girls leave unexpectedly that she was very close to and so far this year there have been a few that have gone back and forth but so far nobody in her group has left. The postive note there is always new girls starting that they become friends with and she also stays in touch with the some of the girls who have left. I used to worry that this was traumatizing because they become so close but I just think it is the nature of the sport they put alot of time in practice so they have mainly have gym friends but I think the amount of commitment and time contributes to alot of girls leaving. I also noticed alot of the girls who quit change their mind and come back,you just never know.

 

[MamaofEnS]

Thank you so much for all of your replies.

My dd is 13 years old. I just came back from the gym, and to my surprise, one of the girls who I thought quit last week was there. She is also 13.

My dd has been having a difficult time with her transition from compulsories to optionals. She is one of 3 girls who did not move up, but now trains level 7 skills with a group of level 6 girls. The other 2 girls don't have great attendance, and I found out today that that really bothered her.

I think she resents being treated as a compulsory, and that is also affecting her decision about whether to quit or not.

She needs advice from someone else who has been in her same situation.

MamaofEnS