Parents questioning preteam DD's commitment/dedication

[pullover]

My daughter (almost 7) is on pre team and has been since March. She moved up to pre team after about 1 year in rec. At some point fairly early on -perhaps around the time that she got confident in her cartwheels -she completely stopped practicing outside of class. She loves her class and desperately wants to move to team -but I have to question her dedication if she never wants to practice outside of class. Her coach is planning to move her to team (x cel bronze) in a month or so. I am starting to wonder if the sacrifice that our family will make for team will be worth it since I am not sure that she really really LOVES gymnastics the way she claims to. Honestly I think she's more interested in the whole idea of being on team than she is in working hard and getting better. The gym that she is at is about 20-25 mins from our house and her team practices would be at night 2x per week for 2 hours. I know so many of you go to great lengths to get your kids to gymnastics but for our family with 2 younger kids it will be very difficult to work out the logistics of having one parent home and one parent at the gym on these two nights. Yes, we can do it -but we would like to do it knowing that she's working hard and really really wants this. Has anyone dealt with a similar situation? Is it OK not to practice at all outside of class (she's only at the gym 3hours per week at this point so it's not like there's no time to practice). I'm really torn...

 

[gymdog]

I don't think she should or has to practice outside of class.

 

[pullover]

Thanks gymdog. Do you (or anyone else) find it odd that she doesn't WANT to practice outside of class -considering she supposedly loves it so much? We have a mat at home that stays folded up against the wall week in and week out

 

[3gymgirls]

Completely normal. My daughter is also in the gym 3 hours a week and rarely does extra without her coach assigning stretching or conditioning homework. She competed level 1 last year and will compete level 2 this year. She is progressing at a rate comparable to her teammates.

 

[AV24]

Mine goes through phases of wanting to practice and not. She is also on preteam since March and recently turned 7. We have a mat that used to get LOTS of use by her. But even though she says she doesn't want to use it, I constantly catch her trying to hold handstands and casting off the back of a couch. She does those things without thinking, but she doesn't practice 'on purpose.' She has little to no desire to improve her form right now. She just wants to bounce around. I think it's normal. I'm not sure they can really know whether or not they are committed and really want it until they compete. Before that it is too abstract of a concept.

 

[EllibugGymmie]

Sounds pretty normal. My dd on the other may not be normal, lol. She's constantly doing gymnastics, I actually have to tell her to stop a lot. I will need new sofas sooner than I thought lol. Once she moves up she may want to practice some things at home, mine didn't really practice until she made preteam.

 

[Faith]

Mine has never practiced outside of class. Just the way she is. In the gym she's one if the most committed and hardest workers.

As long as her coaches are happy with her work ethic and progress in the gym, use non- gym time to get some quality family time

 

[lovemygymnast]

My DD never stops practicing but we do not encourage it at all. I've heard it's better if they don't because they can pick up bad form and habits outside of gym and away from the coach. So, it's not a bad thing she doesn't practice at home. I've heard other moms say their daughters complain about going to practice or want to skip. I think that is a good indicator they aren't committed and don't love it. And I'll tell you, we have a great coach at our gym who begged me to not let her do anything related to gym outside of gym because she didn't want her to burn out early. She said to watch tv, play with dolls, play in the park but not let her do gymnastics. We do our best but she's a stubborn & determined child. I'm praying she doesn't burn out one of these days.

I hope that helps!!

 

[lhmom]

If she is working hard when she is at practice and she's progressing, she's good. I would be more concerned if my kid was not working hard when she was at gym. Let her have her breaks and encourage other interests! If she sticks with gymnastics, pretty soon that's all she will have time for when she is older.

 

[Pea'sMom]

I wouldn't say that not practicing outside is an indication of lack of commitment. Pea is a rule follower, and when she was little her coach told the kids 'no practicing at home!' So they only thing she would do were cartwheels (everywhere!) Maybe your little's coach has said something similar?

 

[OzZee]

I think some kids are high energy and full of tumbles and others aren't, don't think it's an indication of commitment.
But even if it is and she decides in 2 years she doesn't want to do it anymore (as many of the kids will) is it not worth it for the strength and conditioning she will have to lead her into any other sport she wants to do, the fun she has had being part of a team and competing, the life lessons she has learnt from being part of a team and competing, the skills she has gained.
Yes it is expensive but if everyone going into gymnastics or any sport or endeavour had to do it 'forever' for it to be worth it then how many would even start.
She is only 6, that's so young, it doesn't have to be her thing for life but if she wants it to be her thing for now then to me it's worth it.
But if for your family, unless it is to be her thing for life and lead somewhere then maybe it isn't the right thing.

 

[sce]

I agree with the others. Not practicing at home is not an indication of lack of dedication. You do need to evaluate if this is something you want to commit more family time and resources. But don't base it on a 6yr olds dedication. She's 6! She says she loves it and wants to make team. That says where she stands, but now you need to decide where the rest of the family falls with the commitment. I would definitely not say to her, "it's not worth it for the family because you don't seem that dedicated." If it's too much of a strain on the family then that's a fact regard;less of how your dd feels about the sport. Either way you decide it's a risk but you have to decide what is best for her and your family.

 

[cbifoja]

I find it odd but only because my sole point of perspective is a child who even at her age/level is still doing a lot of gymnastics at home. However, I don't read anything into it. I don't assume that my child is more passionate about gym than your child. I think it's one of those "it is what it is" situations and that you can't extrapolate "what it is" to what it may be.

If she says she loves gym, doesn't whine about going, goes and gives good effort...and if you can afford it...then yeah, let her stay in

 

[cbifoja]

I think some kids are high energy and full of tumbles and others aren't, don't think it's an indication of commitment.

Yep.

 

[LJL07]

Totally agree with OzZee above! I have a VERY high energy 7 yr old who cartwheels rather than walks from place to place. She has been that way since birth. I also have a 4 1/2 yr old on pre team, and she's just a different temperament. I don't see her flipping around like older sister. But they both love gymnastics a lot. I think try the team. If your DD seems unhappy while at the practices, then maybe reconsider team.

 

[Gymsanity]

If your girls walk on their hands more than their feet, use the bed as a trampoline, look at narrow hallways as an opportunity to straighten their cartwheels, think linoleum floors and socks were made for turns, have knocked all your pictures and knick knacks off the wall and shelves, and think that curbs are just practice beams in nature, then yes, she definitely loves gym!! That is what I find most of the time, but that isn't to say that I haven't had some very good and dedicated gymnasts that are more reserved at home. I would give it a fair try first, then sit down and decide together. Good luck.

 

[gracyomalley]

DS the younger (L6) never stops moving, including doing gymnastics all over the place from age 5 on - circles and flares on TArget red balls, back tucks everywhere, holding support and doing swings an any 2 pieces of furniture he can find - but NEVER practices anything substantial.

DD (L8) tried to learn her BHS at home on a mattress when she was 5 or 6 - coach came down with a "no practicing at home" declaration and it stuck. She did (and does) spend a lot of time "upside down" as my father puts it...but that's it - I don't think walking on your hands all day, including at Safeway, counts as practicing....

DS (L7) older now at 14 with an explosion of skills is begging for every bit of gym time he can get - working skills instead of games, etc....but still, when home is a quiet, calm, low movement kind of kid. He's probably the hardest worker of the three at gym practice itself, and presently (DD is going through a pubertal funk) the most dedicated to longevity in the sport...

I think many gymnasts delight in movement and "do gymnastics" at home because of that....I don't think many actually "practice" at home - even when parents buy all the stuff ! It really comes down to whether you think this is a good experience for her NOW....what she may do in the future (other than learn to be strong, work for a goal, be part of a team, overcome obstacles, etc) in gymnastics is a big unknown...let her do it if it works for your family, and when it doesn't, then re-evaluate. Kids don't need to and really can't make these choices at that age!

 

[Committed]

My DD is "only" 7yo and her desire to practice comes and goes. She wants to practice much more when she has a routine to perfect.
Other than that, I just see a lot of handstands, press handstands, and walkovers.

 

[Sasha]

Yes, we can do it -but we would like to do it knowing that she's working hard and really really wants this. Has anyone dealt with a similar situation?

I completely relate to only wanting to commit if they are really willing to work hard for their level/age and really love it. Not everyone agrees with that, but I share your perspective coming from a stressed-financial-and-time point of view. And at age 6, this expectation of what 'working hard' means is different, of course, than at age 12.

For clarity, I wouldn't expect any gymnast to actually "practice" at home, with the exception of any assigned stretching or conditioning that some gyms do assign (and some don't). Probably not anything at age 6, though. And some girls may be asked to practice the dance elements of a floor or beam routine to a video or CD at home during comp season. But in general, daily home "practicing" shouldn't be the expectation.

I think what you're asking is if not 'playing' gymnastics constantly is a sign that your DD doesn't 'love' it enough. Your question makes perfect sense, as you'll see many people on CB state something like "it's clear my DD loves gymnastics because she never stops cartwheeling and walking on her hands!" These kids seem to live, breathe, and obsess gymnastics 24/7. The real question is if that level of obsession is really necessary to commit to the high work ethic and focus required for success in, and enjoyment of, the sport.

My guess is that, though it probably helps to have such an early obsession as motivation to work hard, it is not a requirement. Not everyone will 'obsess' over a given activity to the same degree based on personality type, and range of activities enjoyed, and that doesn't mean she/he will not be a hard worker at the activity and enjoy the successes just as much. Conversely, a person who does obsess over an activity may still lack enough work ethic or focus to achieve her or his goals.

So I suggest you keep your DD in gymnastics since she reports loving it, and just monitor her interest over the coming months. If her focus starts to wane (rather than improve) and she starts not trying as hard as most others in class, this could be a sign of losing interest. A different class, or different activity, could be the answer. But if she is sticking with it and reasonably trying, improving, and having fun, then she is in the right sport! Good luck!

 

[oplei]

I have one DD who reads constantly in and out of school. I never have to remind her to pick up a book. I have another DD who never picks up a book for pleasure. Both girls hit their reading goals and enjoy school. DD2 just doesn't want to read (crazy girl) despite the fact that she enjoys the books she is required to read for her school goals. So I don't think its a lack of ability it is just low on the list of things to do. I wouldn't base decisions about ability on what you observe at home. And you may save on medical bills.