Should I just let it go?

[mariposa]

Netty- Sounds like they coach like DDs HC does. Many times, DD will not even get past ROs when other days she is doing ROBHSBTs. She used to get really frustrated about it, but now she realizes that her coach has high standards for tumbling and that it is only to help her. The coach does this with everyone on all events, some days you pass and keep moving on and others you don't. I think once your DD sees that it is to HELP her, she will be good with it. Doesn't mean it won't be frustrating sometimes for her, but she will understand it isn't the coach being mean or unfair.

Also, when you change gyms, you have different coaches and different expectations. They often have to "re-learn" things the way new gym does things and that takes awhile for them to get adjusted to. It is a process that takes time and she will adjust!! I would have probably said something along the lines of "I noticed you looked frustrated when you didn't move on and had to do more drills during tumbling...what was going on in your head?" And then heard what she had to say and responded to that. Sometimes what WE see and what is actually going on in their heads is not the same at all!

I am so happy the gym change has been positive for her! Can't wait to hear about how her season goes with the new gym.

 

[gymster]

I do apologize I apparently read your start date not the original post date ! Also I did not make myself clear! When we as parents sit and watch every practice and then critique these kids on there practice it sends mixed signals to them! Being a former coach and a USAG judge this was one of the most difficult things I had to overcome. What I was trying to say about stay out of the gym was for you! Apparently it Frustrates you and out of sight out of mind! I understand as it was extremely frustrating to me! They work extremely hard and when they walk out those doors They need you to be their Cheerleader their biggest fan not their biggest critic. I am a very realistic person I do not expect my child to be one of the 5 girls selected for the Olympic team or even one of the two alternates! Lets face it she has a better chance of winning the Lottery! But She expects it! I am not going to tell her she cant or wont achieve her dreams either! I will simply be there to cheer here onto whatever her destiny may be and Hug her and help her to feel loved when the the cards do not go her way and of course like every other crazy gymnastics parent I will Mortgage my house to do it! I by no means was trying to be critical of you Just saying I have been there done that and have lived the termoil that comes along with it! I hope what ever you do it works for you and your DD!

 

[NotAMom]

When we as parents sit and watch every practice and then critique these kids on there practice it sends mixed signals to them! ... What I was trying to say about stay out of the gym was for you!

I don't think that can be generalized for every parent and every child. Some children never get bothered by their parents watching. Others can't focus whenever they sense their parents' presence.

I do have to agree about the critique part though, although I don't think that is really the case with our OP.

The traditional out-of-state out-of-mind concept works well for coaches and the gym but it may not be as good for the parents. How else can a parent spot an issue before it's too late? Many gyms and learning institutions have rules against parents watching whenever lessons are in session (our gym used to as well). To disallow it unconditionally I think is overboard and overbearing.

What is the most important is for the parents to know what works and what doesn't for each child. What it comes down to is merely a personal preference.

Just my two cents.

 

[nettyinpa]

gymster,

Thank you for help and understanding. I didn't mean to come across defensively, either. It's just that I, like every parent here, wants what's best for my kids. Olivia will tell me if something's bothering her at gym. She also tells me all the great stuff she's doing and the fun things she's learning. I do like to watch but I don't bring things up with her to make her feel bad. I focus on the positives much more than the negative stuff, which there isn't much of. She's very mature for her age and I attribute that to her gymnastics training. I'm very proud of her and very proud to be her mom.

BTW ~ I watched a couple of your dd's videos. She's very talented!!

 

[gymster]

Thanks NettyinPa! She works very very hard 36 hours a week hard! This Broken toe she had a week ago gave us a tale spin!!!! Hopefully she will not looses to much! she is so very determined! Surgery on Friday to place 2 pins and tried to go to gym on Monday! Unfortunatly the car ride and pain med did not mix very well! I was glad even though she was only doing upper body I just think she needs to wait a bit! I always tell my dd dont worry you will get it when you are suppose to get it and not a minute sooner! We will be thinking of Olivia keep us all up to date!

 

[Billy]

I will get on to my daughter if she's not paying attention/staying focused/working hard at whatever she should be doing, whether its gym or school or even not spilling her dinner all over the floor. We do talk about gym and I do ask questions. But I always ask her if she minds talking about things or if she'd rather not. I ask her if I'm being "crazy gym mom" or not. Usually she laughs at me and says no but once or twice she has told me that she didn't want to talk, so we didn't. Most of the time, she likes my involvement but I am careful to check with her often that she's happy, that she's still having fun, that I'm not being too pushy, etc.

 

[NGL780309]

Just so you know you aren't alone Netty, my DD had one of "those" practices today. On beam she stood around and did alot of nothing. She'd fall and then take her sweet time getting back on. She'd then stand there and watch other girls until the coach would remind her to do something. Then on floor she was being really silly with another teammate and doing sloppy leaps.

I did say something to her after practice because it's not about gymnastics at all. It's about working hard and doing your best. I told her it's just like when you do your schoolwork or chores. You need to do your best job or you have to do it again. This is life. I did make a point to tell her some of the things she did really well today, but I pointed out again that she needs to try her best on everything she does.