Parents Timid Gymnast

[Malenkaya]

This is my first post here and I am so glad to have found this place!

My daughter is 4 1/2 (today, actually) and just got her first evaluation from her rec class. She is in a preschool class, 45 minutes each class, twice a week. She is absolutely obsessed with gymnastics and it's all she wants to talk about or do. She will tell anyone she meets that she's a gymnast and she loves to go to gymnastics. I realize at this age that could change tomorrow or next week (she only started mid September) but I'm ready to let her go as far as she can as long as she's loving it. I would love to see her eventually have the chance to be on a team and compete. I also put her in a dance class once a week, which is ballet, tap and a little gymnastics. (They have a mat they pull out and they just do things like forward rolls.)

Anyway, her teachers (coaches?) always say how great she is doing. She is the most attentive kid in the class (either of her classes, really). She listens closely while the girl next to her babbles away and the little boys in the group run all around. Her evaluation gives her highest marks in 19 of the 27 things. She only got one "I need help" on the report. Her weak spot seems to be that she is "timid." This is the actual word used by one of her coaches. She is on the shy side, and I put her in gymnastics because she was standing on her head and bouncing off all the furniture in the house every waking second of the day. She is full steam ahead at home so I'm a bit surprised that she's a bit hesitant when she's actually in an environment that it's safe to run and jump and tumble.

Anyone else have a "shy" or "timid" gymnast? Can they outgrow this or will it become a gymnast that may have fears in learning things later on? Or is there no way to tell? And is there anything that can be done to help her be less timid? She really loves gymnastics and this seems to be the only thing holding her back from doing really well. She is the same way in her dance class, for what it's worth. She can do what is asked of her but it's done slowly and methodically, unlike most of the other kids at this age who don't seem to have a care in the world. As long as she's happy I'm happy, I just wonder if there is hope that she will come out of this shell a bit more.

 

[MaryA]

My non-gymnast daughter started dance when she was about 4. She absolutely refused to participate in the recital... would not get on stage. She didn't take dance the next year, but then, when she was just shy of 6, she asked to take it again. For the first few weeks, it was a challenge to get her to get off the bench and participate because she was so shy, though she insisted she loved dance. But once she got comfortable, she did very well. The dance teacher even asked her to do the "solo" part (the bee in a field of dancing flowers) when recital time came around. I was a little worried, since she had refused to participate in the recital before, but she rose to the occasion and did great. Fast forward 6 years and she is taking ballet and pointe prep and competition prep and modern AND being a helper in those same 4-and 5-year-old classes that she started out taking. She is a very confident dancer, and I think that the nurturing environtment of the dance studio has really helped her out in other areas as well. She is still a bit shy, especially in new situations, but you would never know it when you watch her on stage.

I would say that gymnastics, especially if she is in a safe, nurturing environment, will be great for her confidence and self-esteem. I certainly wouldn't worry that her shyness would, in some way, keep her from being a good gymnast.

 

[gymnastbeth]

Welcome to the CB!

My first day of gymnastics, I wouldn't get out of the car. The next day? I walked into the gym and ran out and refused to go into the gym. Finally on my third day I actually went to the practice. Fast forward many years, I'm captain of my high school gymnastics team, and I wouldn't consider myself "timid" anymore. Being timid probably won't affect her skills, if anything, it will help her stay more focused in class. I found when I taught pre-team that the more timid girls were often the girls who had better form and were way better behaved and on task.

It is definitely possible that she will outgrow it, but until that time, just embrace who she is, and enjoy the fact that she's found a passion at such a young age!

 

[Flossyduck]

I'm sure she will be absolutely fine. At four years old, being put in such an amazing environment with people she doesn't know, it's bound to take a while and it's very early days.

If anything it sounds as though she is taking it all in and taking things quite seriously and that will probably help.

My daughter is 8 now and pretty bubbly at home and school, but I'd say in the gym she still comes across as fairly quiet, head down, focused, doesn't talk too much. She's concentrating, it's fine, and it really isn't holding her back as she's in the team and doing great. I've got used to the fact that when she walks in that door she is a different person and it works for her.

I really wouldn't read too much in to it so long as she seems happy.

 

[Malenkaya]

Thanks for the welcome and the replies!

I'm sure she is going to be just fine, but she just loves it so much so I thought if there was anything that I could do, it was certainly worth mentioning. I have no idea how they pick their kids for team or pre-team or how any of that works there and I'm not ready to ask, because as much as I want to know I don't want to be any kind of pushy gym mom. I just want to make sure she is living up to her potential while having fun. Her dad's side of the family did well in gymnastics (my husband, his sister and both of her kids) so I am hopeful she will prove to have some real gymnastics talent, with as much love as she seems to have for it. I also enjoy going to the gym and watching all the kids and seeing what they can do. I'm a longtime gymnastics fan (I took tumbling as a kid and loved it myself) so getting to see how this all actually works is also very interesting to me.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

they all learn and process differently. don't worry about it.

 

[gymgal]

My dd was like this early on. She loved gymnastics but was definitely on the reserved side in the gym. I made sure the coaches knew we were looking for team in the future and they progressed her as she showed signs of readiness. She's 11 now and a level 7. She is still very reserved in the gym. She is very methodical in her approach to new skills - in other words, she is not a daredevil who just chucks new skills without a care in the world. She is much more systematic. It works well for her but it also means that she tends to take longer getting the skills. This hasn't affected her progression. She has always gotten the skills she needs to compete at each level, just slightly later than other teammates.

I would not worry about her approach to gym. she will find her comfort zone and make it work if she really wants to stay in the sport. This is so hard for parents - to sit back and let the child find her own way, which may not be the way we would assume is the best/easiest. I know I had a tough time with this in the beginning but history has shown that my dd really does know what she needs to be successful. As for team - talk to the coaches that this is a future goal so that they know and also talk to them about how excited she is about gymnastics when she is home. If they are not seeing this in the gym, they may overlook her when team picks come.

 

[guest301]

My girl is turning 4 1/2 this month as well and very shy. She has been going to the gym since she was 2. Is in advanced preschool group. My son is the opposite of her. He can do gymnastics trick for the heck of it - my girl is doing gymnastics to perfect her skills. Today she told me she wants to be on a team and I asked why. She said, "I just want to see what it's like".

 

[Jaks]

My dd has just turned 6, at school, Gymnastics and dancing she come across as very shy and timid especially around people she doesn't know. At home she doesn't sit still very long is very noisy and not shy or timid, like your dd she is always on her head upside down or running, dancing or jumping around. She is not one to push herself forward.

when she was a baby she would not make eye contact or smile at strangers that used to poke their head in her pram/buggy. At playgroup (preschool) she was put into a special group as she didn't talk very much to them and they though she had speech problems. My dd left preschool and started nursery and she had no issues there but was still quiet.

My dd started ore school gymnastics when she was 3 1/2 and wouldn't join in the songs and actions and would always allow bigger faster children push past her or push in when they were lining up to do things. By the time she was nearly at the end of her per school gymnastics time (they go up to the rec classes when they start full time school) she was still quiet but she was joining in everything and wouldn't let other children push past her or try and pick her up ( she is small for her age), she would push them back gently and tell them not to do it.

my dd started dancing when she was 5, she performed on stage for the first time this summer and her teacher was worried about how she would cope because she was shy and quiet in her classes. When my dd went on stage she was like a different person and she her teacher was proud of her.

Just recently my dd started trampolining and she was very quiet and shy and wasn't used to the coach and she looked like she was going to cry during her lesson. I asked her if she enjoyed it and she said she did and she is still going.

My dd has always preferred female coaches and will clam up around make coaches until she gets to know them and this can take a few months.

At school my dd is one of the quiet ones and never gets onto trouble, she is completely different at home lol.

My dd is still in rec gym and is still quite quiet but not like she used to be. Some girls in her rec class would hang off the coaches arms etc but she doesn't do that.

 

[Kiwi]

Sounds a lot like my DD. She is 9 now and started gymnastics and ballet just before turning 4. She is shy and reserved, but very focussed and because of this performs well, although perhaps lacks a little flair that more confident performers have. When learning skills, she won't attempt anything she doesn't feel confident to do. This is good from a safety perspective, but it does mean she can take longer to learn new skills. She also sometimes has fear issues with certain skills, but I think that is quite common and affects most gymnasts at times. She is training step 5 and I have no idea how much further she will go in gymnastics. I guess it is possible that her cautious nature could hold her back at higher levels when the skills get scarier, but so far it doesn't seem to have stopped her progress. I wouldn't worry about your daughter, it sounds like she is doing fine as she is! It's nice to hear that she is enjoying herself so much.

 

[rsm]

Welcome to the CB!!! I think DD qualifies as timid (and shy sometimes). When she was 4, she had a hard time even going into a class by herself. Many bribes were used to get her to go in. Once she was in she was fine. The difference with her now on level 4 (she is 6 now), is that she is very cautious about trying new things without help. Her BHS is the last thing for her to get consistently because she is a little scared of it. But it also means that she does not take a lot of risks in or out of the gym. Which I'm happy with because I've seen a lot of the others girls get hurt outside the gym. DD will only try something if she absolutely knows that she can do it. And she gets hurts much less than my "non-gymnastics, anything goes" DS. She also does a lot of handstands and cartwheels which have served her well. Sounds like your DD is doing very well. Be happy that she knows her limits, and she is having fun!

 

[Malenkaya]

She is having a blast. And like I said, at home she has NO fear. I have a friend who comes to do my hair once a month or so and she brings her daughter, who is 9, and last night DD was all about showing the other little girl the stuff she has learned in gymnastics. She will try anything at home with reckless abandon. She's just more reserved in class.

What is a proper way to let the coaches know we are hopeful for a competitive path for her, without being pushy? I have mentioned in passing to the coaches when I've had the chance to talk to them that she really loves it and is obsessed with everything gymnastics. I thought maybe when they brought home evaluations they would talk to the parents, but when class ended they gave each kid their paper and sent them on their way. When she handed it to me I was surprised that's all there was to it. Granted, this is the preschool class, so she may have to jump up a couple classes before we get to that part. In her time slot there is the preschool and kindergarten class, which is where she would go next. I have watched the kindergarten girls and they seem to be a very mixed group. I think DD can do as much as some of them, but some of the others seem much more advanced. I guess I'm confused a bit on what will be required to move her to that group, as the current groups skill levels are so mixed. I have heard the coaches suggest moving kids up to the kindergarten class, but I sometimes wonder if they only offer that to parents when there is an available slot in those classes. Doesn't do much good to say "your kid is bored with this class and ready for the next one, but we don't have anywhere to put him/her right now."

 

[gymgal]

There is no harm in asking the coach for a few minutes of time - it may have to be over the phone b/c typically they go from one class to the next during the evening. I would just tell the coach that you would like to know a little more about team and whether it would be an option for the future. That would not be construed as cgm.

 

[Moxiegrl83]

I have a shy munchkin too. They had a Thanksgiving show for her class at school, and she was the only one who would not talk into the microphone to say what she was thankful for. She stood there looking panicked, covered her mouth, and ran to me. Her teacher's only complaint so far was her being timid, and not being as involved.

It was the same at gym in the beginning, but as they spend more time there, they seem to come out of their shell some. I don't know what age your gym starts training them for team, but usually when a parent is interested at our gym, they will talk to whoever is at the front desk. You can't always talk to the coaches, like a PP said, they are usually going from one class to the next, and in the few minutes between do what they need to get done. You won't be considered a CGM by letting them know you're little one is interested in practicing more. Usually I'll talk to their coaches, let them know there is an interest, and it goes from there.

Don't worry too much about the timid comment though. If she's anything like my little one, they'll look back in a year or two, and laugh that they ever thought she was shy. ;-)

 

[Malenkaya]

Awesome, thanks. The girl who is always at the front desk, and I assumed was "just" the receptionist, is also a coach. They just put new stuff up by the front desk that has the photos and little bios of all the coaches and I found hers and was surprised to find out she's a coach too.

Anyway, she's a really nice lady and easy to talk to, and DD always has to run up and show off the stamps she gets on her hands after every class. After she gets her second evaluation, which should be on Thursday, maybe I'll ask her about it.

For what it's worth, she is in morning classes, and her coaches don't seem to be rushing into another class when hers is over. Sometimes they are leaving when we are, but I certainly don't want to hold them up when they are leaving their work. They may be going off to another job somewhere else.

 

[Malenkaya]

I just wanted to update and say thanks again to those who replied in this thread.

After class today I spoke to the receptionist who is always there and asked her how things work in their gym. They apparently don't have anything they call "pre-team" but from preschool class they go to the kindergarten class, and that's where they start to look at them for moving up and possibly competing later on. They have three more levels they go through before they get to the competitive stage.

She said it was good to hear we have interest and to talk to one of her specific coaches (maybe she's a senior there who makes more of the decisions?) so she is aware of our interest. And interestingly, she said "when she's 4 maybe they will move her to the kindergarten class." My daughter is 4 1/2, will be 5 in May. However, she is absolutely tiny for her age. She's basically the same size as the 3 year olds in her class. So her coaches may not have had any idea she's as old as she is, also because she's so quiet all the time. Which might be why they left her in the preschool class after evaluations, even though she did very well, according to the evaluation.

 

[Moxiegrl83]

I'm glad you found out a little more about their program. Every gym runs their team programs a little bit different. As long as she's having fun in her class, and learning new things, that's what is most important. If you get a chance, you might want to let them know how old she is. They might just think she's a really mature 3 yr old, not an almost 5 yr old.

 

[Jaks]

I would echo what Moxiegrl83 said, my dd started ballet at the end of feb this year when she was 5,like your little girl she is small for her age and is shy. When my dd came out of her first lesson her teacher said how good she was and well behaved she was for a 3 year old, I told them she was 5.