Parents 7 year old with mental block....ugh!

[CTMOM]

My YDD just turned 7. She is level 3 and great on floor. She had her ROBHSBHS and FH by 6. The coaches always comment on how strong she is on floor. We were at an open gym a few weeks ago and I think the kids running around scared her. All of a sudden, she can't/won't do a ROBHS. She will pause between them. She told the coaches at practice that she lost the skill. They spotted her a few times and said she was fine, but by the next practice she "can't" do it again. She had a private last weekend. The coach pretended to spot her and she was fine, but she won't attempt it unless she thinks she being spotted. I don't say much to her about it. I told her she's fine. She has her first level 3 meet in 3 weeks and we have a no spotting rule. I worry her anxiety over it will get worse because they will not spot her.

 

[mariposa]

She needs to know that these things happen (and that they will probably happen over and over again for as long as she's in gymnastics). That she'll get it back when she's ready and if she doesn't have it by the meet, no big deal. Will they let her scratch floor or just do RO pause BHS? If so, tell her that. No pressure. That you love her and are proud of her no matter what.

 

[CTMOM]

She can do the RO pause BHS, but I don't think they believe she's having an issue. They keep saying she fine. DD keeps asking what the deduction is (she's obsessed with scores). I told her I didn't know, but that it didn't really matter. I told her she has a ton of meets......some will be great and some might not. She needs to go and have fun.

 

[IreneKa]

She can do the RO pause BHS, but I don't think they believe she's having an issue. They keep saying she fine. DD keeps asking what the deduction is (she's obsessed with scores). I told her I didn't know, but that it didn't really matter. I told her she has a ton of meets......some will be great and some might not. She needs to go and have fun.

The coaches are handling it correctly. This is not an issue, and should not be made into an issue. Don't do any more privates, they won't help anyway, and could even make it worse. Just keep telling her that she is fine, she'll get it back when her body is ready, scores don't matter, just remember to have fun, etc.

 

[GymDad9.9]

She can do the RO pause BHS, but I don't think they believe she's having an issue. They keep saying she fine. DD keeps asking what the deduction is (she's obsessed with scores). I told her I didn't know, but that it didn't really matter. I told her she has a ton of meets......some will be great and some might not. She needs to go and have fun.

I'm sorry to hear this has happened. Her fear stems from an incident in an open gym where kids run amuck and tend to lead to incidents like what has happened to your daughter. She needs to know that in training and in competition it is only her on the floor and this cannot and will not happen. As an added preventive measure, I would abstain from open gym for the foreseeable future.

 

[triplethreat+1]

Like IreneKa said. You may be verbally telling her it doesn't matter, but the fact that you're worried enough to do privates for it tells her it's a big deal. Don't bring it up at all, if she does then either "You'll get it back when your body is ready" or "What does your coach say? They're the experts, listen to them"

 

[Sara]

I would look up "facing Fear" worksheets. I had a gymnast with this same issue and I had her write down why she was afraid, and what steps she could take to over come the fear. It helped by having her write out her own goals for each practice. I was just a coaching clinic that Mary Lee Tracy spoke at and one of her elites wouldn't tumble backwards for 6 months. It is a real fear, I would suggest lots of patience and make sure you and the coaches are on the same page. It can get ten times worse or it could go away. Good luck with everything

 

[CTMOM]

The private was not for this reason. She just leaned the beam routine, so the private was to go over it with the coach. She and her sister did it together and it was planned weeks ago. While we were there the coach did a few ROBHSs with her.

 

[Flyaway]

I know this feels huge, but she will get through it. Don't talk about, don't do privates for it, let her work through it. She'll get it back eventually, even if she has to scratch floor for a meet or two. I know that feels like a huge deal right now, and I totally understand because that was my dd at one time. But she will get past it. Give her time. And maybe no more open gym for a bit? Just keep encouraging her and listen when she needs to vent.

 

[Natasha]

I would look up "facing Fear" worksheets. I had a gymnast with this same issue and I had her write down why she was afraid, and what steps she could take to over come the fear. It helped by having her write out her own goals for each practice. I was just a coaching clinic that Mary Lee Tracy spoke at and one of her elites wouldn't tumble backwards for 6 months. It is a real fear, I would suggest lots of patience and make sure you and the coaches are on the same page. It can get ten times worse or it could go away. Good luck with everything

I think this could be helpful for an older gymnast, but I think this may be a bit too much for a just turned 7 year old (first grade?) beginner level gymnast. I agree with the others, do not make a big deal out of it, especially since this is relatively new. Also, reassurance that everyone, even Elites struggle with blocks sometimes and it is just part of the sport.
She may also be having some anxiety about meet season starting, especially since you said she is very focused on scores. I love your approach of not telling her what the deduction is and that it doesn't matter.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

I would let her be and let the coaches deal with it.

I tell my girl, you get it when you get it, its fine. Go have fun and work hard.

Your girl is 7.

 

[Mrs. Puma]

Uggggg I'm so sorry! Like others have said, the best thing to do is give it the least attention as possible. Even thought that's really hard!! Don't bring it up at all, and if she does just say something like "You had it before, it will come back. Don't worry about it." and change the subject. Focus on something positive, maybe even non-gym related. She will get it back. Unfortunately this will probably happen again with a different skill at some point. Sending good mojo your way!

 

[thefellowsmom]

I agree, just let it be. Be encouraging and hug her, nothing else. At this age, my dd had some anxiety and tumbling blocks as well. Sometimes, I think with some talented kids the skills come fast and then they just can't mentally handle that level of things yet. Coach insisted my dd compete that level again and then she was able to mentally wrap her head around the whole process and her talent and zoomed on from there, actually skipping through some levels and learned all about how to struggle and push through her anxiety and fears early and now as an upper level optional is mentally strong and very successfully perusing all of her dreams.

I know it can be scary to see them in this state. I was a basket case, but coach knew what to do and even though at the time, and other times too, I disagreed or was worried about decision, they knew best and made the right decisions for her. Just hugs and listening is all you can do.

If the anxiety and fears continue and don't resolve and she is still dealing with this in couple of years then I recommend a trip to a quality sports psychologist. PM me if you have specific questions. I am happy to share all things in a more private setting.

Good luck to her and you! Deep breaths. I know it sounds like a cliche but this is a really long journey and what's happening at six/seven can both shape and determine the future and in the same breath has nothing to do with what will happen down the road.

 

[sandy]

Completely agree with the great advice given.
If possible, don't make a big deal when she gets it back either;
"glad you're happy with your practice" or "how do you feel about that?".
Just a thought

 

[CTMOM]

Thank you for all the great advice. She mentioned it again after practice last night. I told her it wasn't a big deal and it happens to a lot of girls. She also mentioned the meet. I told her scores do not matter. She just needs to go a have a great time. I'm not worried about her missing the skill in the meet, but I worry she might hesitate and then get hurt.

 

[LizzieLac]

I have also tried to get my DD to focus on what is going right in the gym when she is struggling on something or has fears of something. And, really confidence spreads, so feeling good about beam or bars or help her start to feel confident on floor. It gives her something to tell herself she has down and give herself credit for. That has really been the key for my DD in this sport.

 

[duyetanh]

I have also tried to get my DD to focus on what is going right in the gym when she is struggling on something or has fears of something. And, really confidence spreads, so feeling good about beam or bars or help her start to feel confident on floor. It gives her something to tell herself she has down and give herself credit for. That has really been the key for my DD in this sport.

Oh, this this and this! My child uses me as a sounding board where she spills the practice off me on our long drive home. I have worked hard with her so the first thing is not negative....but if there is a particularly rough go on one event, I sympathize and then ask about another event or redirect to something positive. I do let her vent though, because if she is doing it, she needs it. I never dismiss her concerns, but nor do I validate them. It's a very tough and delicate balance, but you will get there.
Eta: I know how hard this is as a parent. She will get it back again. But I honestly would avoid open gyms in the future unless all she does is plays and does non related skill stuff.

 

[e'smum]

i think you are doing great at downplaying it. if she goes and pauses in between, she'll get a deduction. if she sees her score is lower than her teammates, it may kick her to get over the fear. i also tell mine scores don't matter and to just have fun. that in spite of all the hard work, she needs to be having fun doing it. i also tell mine she'll get things when she gets them and worrying about it won't make it come any faster. i do want her to be able to talk to me about fears and i do my best to take any pressure she's feeling out of the situation. if they feel pressured, it seems to backfire mostly.

 

[CTMOM]

Update- she asked the coaches to stand on the floor with her for about a week. They just stood there, but did not spot her. They told her they would do this during the meets if she wanted them to, but she told them last week that is is fine and has it "back". She was doing beautiful ones last week at practice.

 

[Iwannabemargo]

great news, so glad her coaches were willing to give her the little bit of mental support she needed