WAG Coahing your own child

[gymnastics24.7]

I have 3 DD's in gymnastics level 6, 7, and 9. I coached gymnastics until my second was born. She is now 9 and level 9. Recently one of your optional coaches moved to Puerto Rico to take care of his parents. Our gym has asked me to help coach our level 9 homeschoolers in the mornings, and level 6/7s in the afternoon. I would only go Monday-Wednesday. That would mean that I would coach my 9 year old and 11 year old, she's level 6. I wouldn't coach my 7 year old level 7, through. I'm wondering I'd coaching my own kids may have a negative affect on them. I just don't want to find my self favoring them or anything- which probably wont happen though. Does anyone if that will affect them? Any simular situations? Anythong helps, thanks. I really love coaching, but its not like I need the extra money.

 

[Jard.the.gymnast]

Sanne and Lieke wevers are both coached by their dad, and they are doing fine. Of course, they are elites. I don't think it Will impact them in a negative way, but i would make sure you keep everything What happens in the gym, in the gym.

 

[mommyof1]

I am not a gymnastics coach, but I would never ever want to coach my own child. When we were young, my husband and I both taught various types of kiddie lessons, and we were pretty successful at it. When we had our own kid, though, she flat-out refused to learn any of these skills from us, and we had to hire other people to teach her.

I would also think that coaching your kids' groups would infringe on their space. My kid doesn't even like me to chaperone her Girl Scout troop.

 

[skschlag]

I would make sure that it doesn't affect the sibling issues that you already have going on to be coaching some of your kids.

 

[wallinbl]

I've coached my kids in another sport. I always made it clear that I was their coach and not their parent on the field. If anything, I probably favored all of the other kids more out of fear that I'd favor my own kids. I mentally counted turns and things like that to make sure I wasn't favoring my kids.

One of them fared well with this, and the other didn't seem to be able to mentally/emotionally switch between player and daughter.

 

[kecks]

i think is not optimal and should be avioded if possible. it is a lot of pressure for a certain type of child to leave gym in the gym if the coach is their parent. you know the type, people pleaser, working extremly hard and also very hard on themselves. may work for some so.

 

[wandrewsjr]

It can be a tough road. Be aware that no matter how fair and impartial you are, there will be parents and other gymnasts who think your kid is getting special treatment, especially if you have a talented kid that progresses quickly. So it mostly depends on your and your children's personalities, whether that kind of stuff will bother you. I made a conscious decision to whenever possible coach groups that didn't include my own kids.

 

[MILgymFAM]

We've seen parents coaching their kids at three gyms now, so it's not all that uncommon as I thought it would be. In every case no one thought those gymnasts got special treatment. In fact they usually seemed to be hardest on their own kids. I don't know if I would want that role as a parent though. In my opinion it muddles the water of the family dynamic. If you just really miss coaching then you do what you need to do, just be mindful of keeping gym and home separate.

 

[MeetDirector]

How about you offer to take other coaching load at the gym and free up a coach to do the hours they want you to do with the homeschoolers? This way, you can help the gym with their coaching shortage, but don't end up coaching your own kids. I would avoid like the plague coaching your own kids - way too many opportunities for bad things, real or perceived.

Good Luck

 

[gymdog]

I would really try not to coach my own child although this sounds like a really unusual and odd situation.

 

[l&h1234]

It might be fun to coach your child as long as you keep the gym life away from home life. It's just up to you and what you feel comfortable with.

 

[GymDad9.9]

I coached a younger brother in baseball many years ago. Was probably not a good idea.

 

[Flyaway]

I believe it's absolutely dependent on the personality/needs of your child. Thinking of my own kids, I have 1 for sure that would be absolutely mortified if I were ever their teacher/coach. And I have 1 that would totally care less. Just very different personalities. Personally, I wouldn't want the responsibility of being both parent and coach, but obviously there are several examples of successful parent/athlete pairings.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

I coached my own kids, with mixed results . Certainly don't recommend it unless you bring them up. Will it negatively effect them, very
Possible but that depends on you.

 

[gymnastics24.7]

I coached my own kids, with mixed results . Certainly don't recommend it unless you bring them up. Will it negatively effect them, very
Possible but that depends on you.

How can I avoid the negative effects? How would you say your kids felt? Would you recommend it? If im asking to many questions please feel free to PM me ) thanks

 

[raenndrops]

Our HC has a daughter on team (L8 training L9) and she coaches her some.
Her daughter doesn't mind and even calls her "Ms. (HC)" instead of "Mom" at practice half the time. The only negative effect is that HC doesn't like to watch her trying the hard stuff (no pit, so we have to come up with inventive ways to train new skills).

Personally, my dad coached my baseball team for 4 or the 5 years i played. He was actually harder on me than he was on the rest of the team, but I understood… and it paid off. I was an all-star every year (chosen by ALL the coaches in the league, based on ability, hustle, and stats). I wouldn't trade his coaching for any other coach I knew,

 

[2gymmies]

I coached my oldest for a bit and it was a bad idea. No matter what I did she was mad... everything from "you are harder on me than everyone else" to "you never pay as much attention to me" etc. She also thought that I was happier for her teammates at meets than I was for her, also there were plenty of times that I didn't get to see her awards or take all of the mom pictures because I was coaching the next session. I know plenty of coaches do it, but it just wasn't worth it for me.

 

[l.c.o]

I'd agree with the others who say be wary of the optics.

I was a Girl Scout leader for 3 years. Halfway through the third year, my DD quit. She did not enjoy me being her leader.

Which follows a pattern. I also coached her T-ball team for two seasons and she hated that, too. It was hard for me to draw a line between being coach and being mom, though not every has a hard time.

I often wonder... if I hadn't been her coach, would she have continued in softball?

DH is one of four coaches on DS's baseball team this season, and that's been more successful. But then he's pretty consistently hard on my DS, so there is that.

 

[MyrtleWarbler]

This past year was my DD first year on team and although I wasn't a coach assigned to her level I helped that group a lot. She liked it, but the result was she was more clingy and whiny! Another coach had the same experience. Our kids are younger and lower levels. I've also seen it work fine and honestly it gave me a chance to control some of how her basics were taught. [emoji51] It wasn't a disaster for us even if not ideal. But so often it's hard to replace coaches at higher levels, certainly it is for us not being in a big city (we have to get lucky in terms of new coaching blood in town! The local military base brings in some, but they usually move on after a couple years). So I realize it may be that the gym needs you to step up to the role and at least see how it goes. Now I'm assigned primarily to other levels but she still likes that I'm on the floor. I'll enjoy that while I can, soon enough I won't be cool enough to be Coach Mom! [emoji6]

 

[Ms.Pak-Man]

Sounds like you'd be spending lots of time as coach, given the hours they are training at those levels. I'd worry that the lines would get blurry coming into that dynamic at ages 9 and 11. The tween/early teen years are particularly difficult to navigate without that added confusion. "I" would not be up for it, (my kids are extremely strong-willed), but hard to say what's right for you without knowing the gym style, your coaching style, kids personalities, etc! I am in the process of certifying as a judge, and I'm wrestling with the implications that could have, and I'd never even judge my kids. Who wants your mom to be a judge? [emoji23]. I'd have died at that idea as a gymnast.