Parents Girls held in oversplit for an hour as punishment

[Gymnastmomma2010]

So I recently posted about DD quitting gym, mostly due to coaching. she is trying T&T (yay) but a girlfriend of mine whose child is in a rec class at the old gym informed me that the new HC had the team girls hold over splits for an hour while he lectured them about being lazy. My daughter has no problem doing an over split and Id still have an issue with this. Am I overreacting or is that totally crazy? Would it be over stepping if I started letting other parents know what I was told? None of them stay, so I doubt any of them know about it. I know Im not there anymore so I dont know the whole story but oversplits for an hour seems excessive to me. Thoughts?? TIA ❤

 

[Cmumgym]

Oversplits for that amount of time is “totally crazy” but was this told to the mum by the child or did the mother whiteness it or did the daughter tell her and could be over exaggerated. I would not get involved if it has nothing to do with your child anymore.

 

[Cmumgym]

If you really want to get involved tell one of the mothers to go and watch a practice but I wouldn’t be putting my two cents in about an incident I didn’t witness myself.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Time for a new gym

 

[Carly]

I would think that at least of few of these team girls would have said something to their parents about this. That is just cruel punishment. I would definitely want to protect these girls but not seeing it first hand would make me hesitant to say something. I agree with the other advice of suggesting that the parents stay to watch if there is someone that you know well enough to suggest this to.

 

[Freddy's Fred]

I would think that at least of few of these team girls would have said something to their parents about this. That is just cruel punishment. I would definitely want to protect these girls but not seeing it first hand would make me hesitant to say something. I agree with the other advice of suggesting that the parents stay to watch if there is someone that you know well enough to suggest this to.

And take the time to tell your own kids to literally get up and walk away if any coach holds them in submission like that. Our kids need to know that they have the power to stand up to bullying coaches.

 

[Flyaway]

a girlfriend of mine whose child is in a rec class at the old gym informed me that the new HC had the team girls hold over splits for an hour while he lectured them about being lazy.

Of course if this happened it's absolutely not ok, but due to the quote above (bold my emphasis) I don't believe it is your place to say anything. You did not witness it, and the mom who apparently did does not have a child in the class in question and does not actually know what went on.

 

[Mom2G&D]

I am probably in the small minority here on this question. But, if you are still in communication with parents of team girls I would say something. You might want to phrase it carefully "I heard something that may or may not be true...", but I would give them the heads up to at least look into it. If I were one of those team parents, I would certainly want to know - because if it were true, I would want to address it immediately..

 

[Gymnastmomma2010]

I am probably in the small minority here on this question. But, if you are still in communication with parents of team girls I would say something. You might want to phrase it carefully "I heard something that may or may not be true...", but I would give them the heads up to at least look into it. If I were one of those team parents, I would certainly want to know - because if it were true, I would want to address it immediately..

Odd for some reason I was only notified about your response lol. But to answer some questions, yes the gym has a very open view so the daughter and the mom as well as every other rec parent heard it and saw it. I was actually told about it by a second friend of mine as well.

Also my daughter sees her old teammates regularly as they were very close. (Main reason why it was so hard to make the decision we did ) But I am still in contact with the parents.

 

[Gymnastmomma2010]

And thats also what I keep thinking too. If someone knew my child was being mistreated by someone i trusted I would want to know. But idk. Its hard because all the other parents view him as this saving grace. It took me a while to see him for what he is.

 

[txgymfan]

I am probably in the small minority here on this question. But, if you are still in communication with parents of team girls I would say something. You might want to phrase it carefully "I heard something that may or may not be true...", but I would give them the heads up to at least look into it. If I were one of those team parents, I would certainly want to know - because if it were true, I would want to address it immediately..

I agree, I would be careful but if I were close to the other families I would say something. It’s so hard. I waited months to warn someone in a similar situation. Personally, I just couldn’t stay silent even after a lawyer friend warned me about potential ramifications. I understand why you wouldn’t say anything but eventually children’s safety was more important than the risk I took.

 

[OrchidZ]

I was grateful when people who witnessed things told me about them. Even the ones that were "So-n-so told me they saw this." If it was second hand, I could ask my kid or other parents to follow up. One incident may or may not change anything in a family's decision to stay or go, but the summation of them might.

That said, I would say something to the one(s) I knew best. I would word it carefully, in a "I was told this and wanted to mention it so that you can look into it if you want to." That's it. I would not contact parents that I didn't know well about it - not because they don't need to know but because, at that point, it's beyond 2nd hand information. They'll likely hear about it from your contact(s) or their own kids anyway.