Anon Burnt out.

[Anonymous (3fdd)]

Burnt. out. Me, not my kiddo. Anyone else feel this way? My daughter is an 8th grade level 9, with D1 college goals, but we all know that’s a long shot, even if she does end up with 4 years at level 10. I’m just feeling over it. Lonely, worried about injury, literally hemorrhaging money into floor routines, PT, meet travel, camps etc. and for what?
Last season felt like injury after injury, she was seriously dealing with something that had her on restrictions almost 1/2 the year. She only competed full routines at regionals last year as an 8, even state was still working back from injury so was easier routines just to qualify. I’m constantly worried she’s going to be hurt.

M of her original teammates have moved on at this point. All the moms I made great friendships with back in the pre-team and level 4 days are gone. We still talk and see each other occasionally, but it’s not the same. I feel like my social circle just disappeared.

Another thing stressing me out is that since covid we have homeschooled/daytime gym. I’m worried she’s going to regret missing out on a more normal high school experience. She could go back to school and still do gym, but she is adamant doesn’t want to. However several of her friends went back to school this year and are making all these new friends and it’s making her sad seeing them with their new lives. She has a couple friends in the gym her age, but none live particularly close(30min to1.5 hours away) and most of the girls in her training group are level 10s in high school already so she’s not really hanging out outside of gym with them.

All that to say she is loving gym more than ever these days, but some days I secretly hope she will quit.
Thanks for letting me vent!

 

[Anonymous (d8c6)]

I’m with you. Very burned out for most of the same reasons. I daydream about how much easier life would be if she just wanted to move on. It’s funny how making it to upper level optionals seemed like such a dream when she was little and now it kind of feels like a nightmare.

 

[Coach Kate]

This is really interesting to think about. I was a level 10 and my parents were as hands off as possible, even sending me to meets on my own once I could drive, and still for years, it is an enormous commitment for the entire family. My husband and I had our first child this year, and even before that, we have had so many discussions about what we want to prioritize in our family. We both see the value in sports and activities, but intense competition is not something we intend to seek out. Becoming a parent has really opened my eyes to how freaking hard it is to make decisions, find balance, and figure out what is going to be right for your kids and your family.

It's a lot to manage, but if it helps at all, my parents talk about how they miss it now and would love to go back and be at one more meet again. Just like how one day I will probably miss snuggling at 2am and all the contact naps even though right now I would give anything for six straight hours of sleep and being able to actually put her down for nap.

 

[Anonymous (ef99)]

Yes.

I am seriously burnt out. I could have written much of your post although some of the details are different. My daughter is a 3rd year level 10 and a sophomore, but the last 4 seasons have been so hard, physically and mentally for her (and honestly me). Almost all of her friends have quit and, although she has a very large team, she only has one friend left (who is a senior so this is her last year) and she is not part of the main clique. I also don't have any parents left that I am close to. She hasn't entered a season at full health since level 7. Her first 2 years at level 10 have not been what she's hoped for and I'm not sure how this season will go either as she's still struggling on a lot of skills her teammates have surpassed. She says she wants to do college gymnastics, but whenever I bring up anything related to recruiting she freezes up... doesn't want to attend camps alone, doesn't want to record herself and post videos, hasn't made it to post season yet. I just don't see how she thinks she's gong to get recruited if she doesn't do any of that, but if I bring it up to her then she gets upset with me. I truly just want her to be happy and have told her I will support her no matter what. But it's so hard to sit back and not say anything when it's just not the source of happiness for her anymore and it cost sooo much money.

I will say that she is at her public high school and does have friends outside the gym and those are definitely very, very important to her. She has always been adamant about staying at her regular school and about keeping up her friendships and I am so happy that she has that outlet. She chooses to miss practices sometimes to do things with them (high school football games, birthday parties, etc). It's still all so hard and I totally get where you are coming from though.

 

[Anonymous (069c)]

Yes.

I am seriously burnt out. I could have written much of your post although some of the details are different. My daughter is a 3rd year level 10 and a sophomore, but the last 4 seasons have been so hard, physically and mentally for her (and honestly me). Almost all of her friends have quit and, although she has a very large team, she only has one friend left (who is a senior so this is her last year) and she is not part of the main clique. I also don't have any parents left that I am close to. She hasn't entered a season at full health since level 7. Her first 2 years at level 10 have not been what she's hoped for and I'm not sure how this season will go either as she's still struggling on a lot of skills her teammates have surpassed. She says she wants to do college gymnastics, but whenever I bring up anything related to recruiting she freezes up... doesn't want to attend camps alone, doesn't want to record herself and post videos, hasn't made it to post season yet. I just don't see how she thinks she's gong to get recruited if she doesn't do any of that, but if I bring it up to her then she gets upset with me. I truly just want her to be happy and have told her I will support her no matter what. But it's so hard to sit back and not say anything when it's just not the source of happiness for her anymore and it cost sooo much money.

I will say that she is at her public high school and does have friends outside the gym and those are definitely very, very important to her. She has always been adamant about staying at her regular school and about keeping up her friendships and I am so happy that she has that outlet. She chooses to miss practices sometimes to do things with them (high school football games, birthday parties, etc). It's still all so hard and I totally get where you are coming from though.

Maybe you should try to check out some D3 schools just to get her started, they are less intense and often take L10's that maybe did have stellar careers. It might bring back some of the fun in gymnastics. She would still have to post stuff and email, but maybe she is afraid of rejection. Just a thought. My daughter ended up at a D3 school and I am hoping she has a fun time there.

 

[Tiffany]

Burnt. out. Me, not my kiddo. Anyone else feel this way? My daughter is an 8th grade level 9, with D1 college goals, but we all know that’s a long shot, even if she does end up with 4 years at level 10. I’m just feeling over it. Lonely, worried about injury, literally hemorrhaging money into floor routines, PT, meet travel, camps etc. and for what?
Last season felt like injury after injury, she was seriously dealing with something that had her on restrictions almost 1/2 the year. She only competed full routines at regionals last year as an 8, even state was still working back from injury so was easier routines just to qualify. I’m constantly worried she’s going to be hurt.

M of her original teammates have moved on at this point. All the moms I made great friendships with back in the pre-team and level 4 days are gone. We still talk and see each other occasionally, but it’s not the same. I feel like my social circle just disappeared.

Another thing stressing me out is that since covid we have homeschooled/daytime gym. I’m worried she’s going to regret missing out on a more normal high school experience. She could go back to school and still do gym, but she is adamant doesn’t want to. However several of her friends went back to school this year and are making all these new friends and it’s making her sad seeing them with their new lives. She has a couple friends in the gym her age, but none live particularly close(30min to1.5 hours away) and most of the girls in her training group are level 10s in high school already so she’s not really hanging out outside of gym with them.

All that to say she is loving gym more than ever these days, but some days I secretly hope she will quit.
Thanks for letting me vent!

I feel you lol! It’s such a rollercoaster. So much that I’m wondering if I’m doing the right thing half the time but when I look at what most girls her age are doing I’m like….ok this is best lol. My 9th grader is a level 9 who just went back to school after homeschooling. I was worried about what you said and she wanted to just try it. Anyhow she loves high school but her focus has definitely diminished. It’s really hard for her to balance the 2. Really hard. However, she’s still in gymnastics. There are many times I’ve wanted her back at home. Missing out on middle school hateful girls can be torturous so don’t worry about missing out on that! Go with your gut!

 

[LarvaeRabbit]

This is therapeutic for me. As the gymnastics Dad I am able to keep my hands off of the in-depth details and have no gymnastics support network for myself to worry about, but I worry myself sick about providing the "best" experience for my daughter. I have a feeling if she stays in this all (8th grade L7 right now), its going to be 4 years of questioning whether its all worth it. In about 2-3 years it went from having fun, successfully challenging herself physically, and moving up levels really quickly. Now its all pressure, massive time commitments, money and time that the rest of our family could repurpose for entertainment, travelling all over the region plus at least one meet somewhere far away in the country, emotional breakdowns, etc. And we're not even considering a possibility of a scholarship, seeing how massively hard it is to get to that point. But how much does the athlete get "addicted" to the adrenaline of the big meets, or mastering the intensely difficult physical skills that the majority of their own peers would never even attempt? And how much does that matter in the long run?