I desperatly need some help! Soooo, everything was going rather well this summer at gym, trick wise. i was having fun everyday, learning bhs on beam, giants, layouts, and fhs front on floor. ( im a level 7). well i was a level 5 last year and worked my butt off all summer conditioning etc to try and make it to level 7. well, about the begining of august when summer gym was almost over, i started having issues with one of my achilles tendons. it took us about 4 weeks to get it diagnosed correctly and i ended up with tendonosis, which is micro tearing of the tendon which leads to rupturing. so with that, 6 weeks of physical therapy and no floor or vault and or dismounts off bar, beam, and limited beam tricks. i sure you can understand that this put a rather large cramp in my training plans. so then mid oct. i was released back to everything and three days later i had a freak accident landing on floor out of a tumbling pass and sprained my ankle to almost a grade three. it wasn't torn all the way through, but pretty close.
So now i have been back to "normal" in gym for about the last month and 1/2 and I am soooo frustrated! All of the sudden i got scared of everything. i started getting scared of the vault for not really any apparent reason, and tricks on beam. I trained a switch leap for beam this whole year because it didn't involve my bad leg, but then got too scared to throw it on the high beam any more b/c i split the medium beam pretty bad. so now i am doing a stupid split jump instead...
yuck! I peeled off the bar on my giants twice in a row in one practice in december because i was falling out of the cast in an arch and my hands weren't setting, so they just keep swinging right off the bar. so now i don't have giants and am having to do a clear hip routine. we are trying to get my cast kip connection and fall out of it right again so he will start letting me work giants again. i am kind of scared just b/c of what happend, but i have to get my giants back. i am a bit timid on bars to begin with b/c last december i peeled off the bar and fractured my back and was out till february. my back still isn't right, it took me till august to get a bwo on beam b/c of my back.
Now i am trying to get my bhs on beam and feel like total retard becuase im am scared to throw it without a spot. My legs are too slow spliting, but idk how to fix it. my coach says he has no drills that can help it, it's just like a fast bwo. today i was falling off all over the place, and couldn't seem to connect anything on bars. he was having my do the level 6 second half to work on my kip cast connection and i keep bending my legs at the bottom cause i guess im scared, but that will peel me off because they are bending and lagging at the bottom.
Then my coach is like " stop getting so frustrated, you can't shut down,... stop being your worst enemy." then he suggested that maybe i am not enjoying myself and this is more like a job. somtimes am not frustrated, but just confused on what to fix or how. sometimes when i try and ask somthing, he'll be like "just go" and then it might not be a problem, or then if it is still messed up i get really frustrated b/c i don't know what to do. i just keep trying, over and over, and this is ridiculous. so much pressure b/c of all the meets and inconsistent training of single tricks that i need to get back b/c we are busy doing routines. i wish is was summer again. i am stuck three months behind the other girls, but there is no way to get caught up.
I am so tired of this.... i feel like i am not trying hard enough or somthing cause i can't seem to get anything right and everything has just gone to crap since i have been able to do everything at gym. I sat there on the side of the floor and conditioned for three months while i was hurt and it has all come to this?
I don't know what to do.
I think i am so scared of everything now because i am afraid of getting hurt. it tore me up to be out of gym for like 6 weeks and then another 8 and the ankle still isn't right, but who cares. i am not going to take off anymore gym. i also have thought that it is pointless to be scared of getting hurt and being out of gym because by paralyzing yourself with fear and sucking at practice, you might as well be on the sidelines conditioning.
sorry this was long, had to vent b/c my parents aren't real understanding. they are just like " this is supposed to be fun...." they just don't understand how frustrating it is to be sliding backwards.
So now i have been back to "normal" in gym for about the last month and 1/2 and I am soooo frustrated! All of the sudden i got scared of everything. i started getting scared of the vault for not really any apparent reason, and tricks on beam. I trained a switch leap for beam this whole year because it didn't involve my bad leg, but then got too scared to throw it on the high beam any more b/c i split the medium beam pretty bad. so now i am doing a stupid split jump instead...
yuck! I peeled off the bar on my giants twice in a row in one practice in december because i was falling out of the cast in an arch and my hands weren't setting, so they just keep swinging right off the bar. so now i don't have giants and am having to do a clear hip routine. we are trying to get my cast kip connection and fall out of it right again so he will start letting me work giants again. i am kind of scared just b/c of what happend, but i have to get my giants back. i am a bit timid on bars to begin with b/c last december i peeled off the bar and fractured my back and was out till february. my back still isn't right, it took me till august to get a bwo on beam b/c of my back. Now i am trying to get my bhs on beam and feel like total retard becuase im am scared to throw it without a spot. My legs are too slow spliting, but idk how to fix it. my coach says he has no drills that can help it, it's just like a fast bwo. today i was falling off all over the place, and couldn't seem to connect anything on bars. he was having my do the level 6 second half to work on my kip cast connection and i keep bending my legs at the bottom cause i guess im scared, but that will peel me off because they are bending and lagging at the bottom.
Then my coach is like " stop getting so frustrated, you can't shut down,... stop being your worst enemy." then he suggested that maybe i am not enjoying myself and this is more like a job. somtimes am not frustrated, but just confused on what to fix or how. sometimes when i try and ask somthing, he'll be like "just go" and then it might not be a problem, or then if it is still messed up i get really frustrated b/c i don't know what to do. i just keep trying, over and over, and this is ridiculous. so much pressure b/c of all the meets and inconsistent training of single tricks that i need to get back b/c we are busy doing routines. i wish is was summer again. i am stuck three months behind the other girls, but there is no way to get caught up.
I am so tired of this.... i feel like i am not trying hard enough or somthing cause i can't seem to get anything right and everything has just gone to crap since i have been able to do everything at gym. I sat there on the side of the floor and conditioned for three months while i was hurt and it has all come to this?
I don't know what to do.
I think i am so scared of everything now because i am afraid of getting hurt. it tore me up to be out of gym for like 6 weeks and then another 8 and the ankle still isn't right, but who cares. i am not going to take off anymore gym. i also have thought that it is pointless to be scared of getting hurt and being out of gym because by paralyzing yourself with fear and sucking at practice, you might as well be on the sidelines conditioning.
sorry this was long, had to vent b/c my parents aren't real understanding. they are just like " this is supposed to be fun...." they just don't understand how frustrating it is to be sliding backwards.
