Parents On a Road to Nowhere?!

[Taurus]

Hi All- been busy reading all sorts of random threads on CB and am starting to notice a trend. Many posts of DD/DS, starting off a "not-so-super" level 3/4, then moving up levels to become wonderful gymnasts, leaving "Susie So-Young" superstar in the dust & watching her quit. My DD is just finishing up her (minor brag alert) great level 3 season- is she now doomed to a road to nowhere?! just wondering if any one has a riches-to-riches story to share (or should DD hang up her grips now)?

 

[gymgal]

There are lots of girls who do very well in the lower levels and continue to do well in the upper levels. Don't stress over it. No one can predict where your dd will be in a year, let alone 5 years. Talent, commitment, distractions, family support, and finances all play a role and these change from year to year. Just let her enjoy the ride for however long she is on it.

 

[thefellowsmom]

First, congrats to her on a great season!

I think the point is that early meet results, good or bad, have very little to do with long term success. Like gymgal mentioned, it has everything to do with commitment both from gymnast and family, finances, hormones, work ethic etc etc etc.

I was just recently talking with a mom of a very successful gymnast that was setting up to compete level 7 this season who's daughter recently decided to quit gymnastics. After going through the process she said what she had learned is that to do this sport at a high level you have to be passionate about it. It has to be the most important thing to the child, regardless of what the parents think. It is a grind and it hurts and it's scary and it isn't always fun and they have to condition A LOT which is brutal and it hurts and it isn't always fun. Mentally they have to be all in past a certain point or it just doesn't work in a healthy way.

Now, before you all jump down my throat, I am not at all speaking of life balance or gymnastics coming before family or school or whatever. What I am saying is that their heart has to be in it fully and let's face it if you are in the gym 20+ hours a week and also having a balanced family life and succeeding at school there isn't a huge amount of time for other things. Success in high level gymnastics takes a mental, emotional, time and family commitment that rivals most any other commitment in life. It is a tough road and most don't make it all the way.

And this doesn't even take into consideration burn out and bad coaching and crazy gym parents and puberty and injuries and the boundaries of their physical abilities, all of which can derail a successful gymnast in short order.

All I can say is I have seen amazing successful gymnasts leave both on good and bad notes at every stage along the way and gymnasts that no one saw coming bloom into beautiful amazing high level gymnasts because it is their passion and they are willing to work through the grind day in and day out.

What you will definitely find is that almost all of those kids your dd just competed with will not be around should your daughter make it all the way through. My dd is a level 8 this season and is sadly watching her friends leave one by one throughout the years. But I am also watching her form a sisterhood with a small group of really amazing human beings.

No one can pinpoint who will make and it and who will not. You just have to enjoy it while it is here as it could end at any moment, even after years and years of commitment dedication and success and failure (because there will be both).

Its a ride. Hold on tight and enjoy it!

 

[Ausi_poppet]

I agree with fellows above. The reason being good at Level 3 doesn't indicate success later is because it's a tough road, so someone who hasn't done well earlier might grow into being a phenomenal gymnast later on. But that doesn't mean that you won't find a gymnast who is a good competitor all the way through.

My daughter has been pretty successful each year, although last year she wasn't as consistent after skipping a year. She rose to the top again this year but what that taught me is that gymnastics is a very mental game. The kids have to be able to hand their own and other's expectations, pick themselves up after a bad routine and work hard in every training session.

The kids who do that and have a bit of talent - they are the ones who will have a successful career and reach whatever goals they set for themselves.

 

[my4buffaloes]

One thing I have noticed is that if a gymnast doesn't have to work very hard and doesn't try very hard at the lower levels, they are more likely to quit at the upper levels when they really do need to work hard and try hard. But the habit or possibly the determination is not there and they give up.

But really anything can happen and you won't know unless you try.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

The reality is lots of kids can do level 3 skills and level 3 hours. And each year it gets harder and less kids continue.

My girl went from level 3 to level 4. Team went from 15 to 12, no one held back but we lost kids. We have about a half a dozen really strong girls. And they are going to score well in Level 4 but not like Level 3.

It's just harder, the girls who really like doing the work and putting in the effort will stick around the others won't. I'm betting we will lose another 3 after this season.

And if you have a gym with really high hours it gets even harder. We are fortunate that our gym has very reasonable hours. If we didn't my gymmie wouldn't stay, she loves gym and works her butt off but she has no desire to be inthe gym 4-5 days a week every single week.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Hit post to soon.

I'm pretty sure my girl will make it to L5/6, probably L7 and then she will have to readdress her committment.

Is that a road to nowhere? I guess it depends on what you expect the final destination to be.

I don't think it's a road to nowhere. My daughter has gained so much. She has learned patience. She is so stinking strong. She has learned how much effort and training is require to make a routine that lasts a minute give or take look good (as opposed to immediate gratification returns) she has learned it's the "drudge work" of conditioning and drills that lead to skills. And those skills will carry her on whatever path she chooses, be it higher level gymnastics, other sports, or even music/arts or rigorous studies if she chooses.

So I am not sure "where" her "where" will be, but it won't be nowhere.

 

[wgagym]

They should only be competing to begin with because they love it. Even if it is a road to nowhere does it matter as long as they are doing something they love?

The end game should never be the deciding factor in this sport or any sport, and if it is then it is worth hanging it up now because 95% of the time they are not going to get a D1 scholarship or go elite. That should not be the focus.

The focus should be a child that learns hard work, perseverance, respect, how to balance work and play ect. That is what they are getting out of this sport.

 

[Taurus]

Haha! I get it/ was not trying to downplay hard work! Just wanted to see if any one had any positive stories about their kids after a few "top" years! Was an athlete myself- I love kids in sports of all kinds!! Gymnastics is so different than any other sport I've come across (at least in progression, not in the work) -!

 

[mariposa]

My daughter at age 13, doing her 2nd year of level 8 this upcoming season has already decided she doesn't want to do college gym. She's seen the recruiting process, heard stories of how it's a pretty much a pressure cooker in college gymnastics the whole 4 years (from her former teammates who've gone on to do college gym) and has decided that is not a road she wants to take. She still wants to compete gymnastics and try to get to level 10 possibly someday. I don't consider it a road to no where. Neither does she! She loves gymnastics and loves the skills and meets and conditioning, too. She's always been a middle of the pack gymnast, too, but it still happy! Some would say I should put my money elsewhere, but I don't agree. I don't see her staying in through high school, but you never know. And she has other activities she does, but gymnastics is still her first priority.

 

[Faith]

One thing I have noticed is that if a gymnast doesn't have to work very hard and doesn't try very hard at the lower levels, they are more likely to quit at the upper levels when they really do need to work hard and try hard. But the habit or possibly the determination is not there and they give up.

But really anything can happen and you won't know unless you try.

This. I see lots of little super-flexi's come in and rock gymnastics with very little effort. They win the lower levels, and it's all good. Eventually though they reach a level where they need to do the work, the conditioning to counter their flexibility, or they discover they don't have the fast twitch to get the big skills that don't require flexibility. They stop winning so easily, stop getting skills and start to wonder if, actually, they're not very good any more. They don't see the link between work and being good because it's always been easy.

Then the kids who have had to work all the way up are still working, know if they keep working the skills will come. Some discover that while they had to fight for a BWO, they've got massive fast twitch and double backs are easy.

 

[munchkin3]

Every kid has their own destination in gymnastics, and 95% does not end at the Olympics or even college.

Every kid who retires, has taken many valuable life lessons and skills that they will keep forever.

It's us parents/coaches who put the fairy tale ending, only to be 'disappointed' in an otherwise amazing sport our children do!!

 

[Faith]

Haha! I get it/ was not trying to downplay hard work! Just wanted to see if any one had any positive stories about their kids after a few "top" years! Was an athlete myself- I love kids in sports of all kinds!! Gymnastics is so different than any other sport I've come across (at least in progression, not in the work) -!

Also, when we talk about "susie so-young" superstars we generally mean 7 or 8 year old optional, L7+ kids who burn brightly then burn out. For the reasons I outlined above, plus the additional pressure of being pushed so hard so young.

Reading your other posts, your child is an 8 year old L3? If she has a good work ethic it's more likely she'll be the one catching up to susie so-young in a few years.

 

[wnl256]

A road to nowhere? It isn't about the destination. It's about the journey. As long as she enjoyed the trip it was worth it, regardless of where she ends up.

Our gym has a few girls who have always been superstars from the day they walked in the door. TOPs camp, developmental camp, state championships: nothing seemed to hold them back. One in particular is trying to qualify for junior elite, and given enough time I believe she will make it. She has never let up and has always been 110% dedicated to the sport. Last year she was competing at level 8 in addition to doing the elite qualification meets.

And thefellowsmom has it right. When they get to level 7 and above this sport takes a huge commitment. If the athlete isn't there mentally and emotionally then she isn't going to last to level 10.

 

[wallinbl]

just wondering if any one has a riches-to-riches story to share (or should DD hang up her grips now)?

DD won everything at old L4 (new L3). She's moved up a level a year and will do L9 this year. Other than injuries and some frustrations with certain skills, she's happy and progressing and scoring solidly at each level. She's not old and not super young (she'll be a 12 year old L9). Would she have survived if pushed to go faster? I have no idea. Would she have quit if her progress was slower? I have no idea. She's at a great gym with coaches that are very good technically and emotionally. More than age, skill, or anything else, I think that's the real reason.

A good actor under a bad director? Bad movie. A decent actor under a great director? Great movie.

 

[Taurus]

Also, when we talk about "susie so-young" superstars we generally mean 7 or 8 year old optional, L7+ kids who burn brightly then burn out. For the reasons I outlined above, plus the additional pressure of being pushed so hard so young.

Reading your other posts, your child is an 8 year old L3? If she has a good work ethic it's more likely she'll be the one catching up to susie so-young in a few years.

Just turned 8- so was competing as a 7 yr old/ the question now is scoring out of levels to get to optionals sooner- am on "the beam" about that one- have read about pushing too hard vs later regret about not giving child oppotunity to move at their own pace (currently at a gym where must do each level every yr & score at least one 36 aa at meet to move to next level) better to be slow and steady or go quicker through compusories to work on bigger skills before fear sets in??

 

[Taurus]

^^ whoops prob should save that for another thread! Didn't mean to get off the topic/ the original post was just my feeble attempt at levity bc as a new parent, gymnastics is overwhelming & was hoping someone out there could "sell" me some guarantee that I'm doing everything im supposed to! Parenting is not for the weak!

 

[lhmom]

I have always taken a "year to year" approach. For the time being, DD is still competing (will compete level 8 as a 11/12 yr. old). Do I have any idea how much longer she'll compete? Nope. All I do is ask if she is ready to commit to the upcoming season before we start paying meet fees. But if she quits after this season, I will not ever feel like her time in the gym was a waste. Gymnastics has taught her the importance of time management, perseverance, and what hard work truly means. She can carry what she has learned from the gym and apply it to anything else she goes on to do.

 

[Pineapple_Lump]

Just read this on Simone, paragraph three is what stood out to me. Kids who have amazing talent for gymnastics are highly likely to be great at other things too. If they are in a gym that seems like all work no 'fun' and has no exceptions to the rules ever, chances are many personalities can't continue to work so hard when the rewards are greater elsewhere with a more enjoyable process.

 

[Popcorn]

I have also noted that the kids who blow away the competition in early levels may have a tough time adjusting their medal expectations in higher levels.

It is motivating to go from middle-of-the-pack to the podium through hard work. It is much harder to go from medals to middle-of-the-pack. This may be why it's hard on tiny superstars once the going gets tougher.