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Parent Cheering for Gymnast Falls

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Gymmom94

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Maybe you all can give me some insight to this: what I witnessed at a Regional Meet this passed weekend a parent clapped for her daughter's teammate when she fell during her performance. This parent clapped several times and it obvious her daughter wasn't as talented as the gymnast competing. At first I thought I was mistaken, however, when this same gymanast fell on another event this parent was very happy. I am certain that gymnast#2 was ill. (from what I understand, she is a very strong gymnast and should have finished in the top 3)

I don't understand how parents can be happy when another gymnast has difficulty. (yet be on the same team and from the same gym).

How do you think your gym would handle this if you had a parent who applauded when a team member had such difficulyty?

What would you do if that was your daughter whom they cheered against? I don't know what I would do....I hope I am never faced with that issue!!!

Comments?
Thanks
 

MdGymMom01

Active Member
Mar 5, 2008
2,236
North America
I know exactly what you are talking about. Only this parent on our team clapped and cheered very loudly at awards when another team's gymnast finished before my daughter and then she didn't applaud for my dd. I guess she was mad because her dd finished behind my dd in the awards. It was like she was happy that my dd didn't get the 1st place AA and was instead cheering on another gym's gymnast. This parent is also often happy when my dd doesn't do well and her and her husband whisper and snicker to each other regarding my dd's mishaps. It is quite disgusting and sickening in my opinion.

Unfortunately, it is the ugly side of gymnastics that comes out in people. All I can say is that karma is a b!tch and what goes around comes around.
 

Panda-girl's Mom

Active Member
Jan 9, 2008
781
I think the behavior of these parents is horrible, how old are they!
I am glad I do not have to deal with this at my daughters gym we are all very supportive of each other. They must be very insecure and what a bad examples of behavior are the showing to their kids.
 

gymjourneymom

Active Member
Proud Parent
Mar 9, 2008
1,331
Country
USA
OMG!!! Now this story is just shocking!!! I thought I'd seen "psycho moms" in action before, but this sad story just takes the cake!!! I would have to talk to the coach if I witnessed this behavior, even if it didn't involve my DD. The other parents may be too upset to discuss it with the coach & I think needs to be reported. That is just TOTALLY unacceptable behavior, no question about it. I've never heard anyone cheer(team mate or not) when a gymnast falls or makes a mistake. Although I have heard collective gasps, in fear that the gymnasts may have gotten injured & then cheers when she got up. But cheers of joy for a fall or mistake...that is just disgusting to me. That mother should be banned from attending meets. Are there any USAG rules that would apply here, I wonder?
 

bogwoppit

Former Admin
Gold Membership
Former Gymnast
Feb 26, 2007
16,715
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Canada
I am completely apppaled at that behaviour. Clapping for any gymnast who is struggling should only be in a supporting way, to do it because you are happy she is failing is obnoxious. I still do not understnad why some people choose to have kids, they do not seem to understand that the world does not revolve around them.

I guess I would hope that the coach noticed, but as always in the case of phsyco parents, the gymnast is the one to suffer. If as a parent I noticed this I think I would make a point of cheering the struggling gymnast a the appropriate times.

UGLY!

MD, is this nut a new nut? SOunds like she needs to grow up.
 

Tumblequeensmom

Active Member
Proud Parent
Feb 19, 2007
1,453
Just to play devil's advocate here... are you sure she was being mean-spirited? When I read the original post, I really couldn't find anything wrong w/it, b/c we ALL clap for ALL of our teammates... even when they fall (actually more so for them when they fal)!! We want them to know we're proud of them for whatever they do.... One girl is awesome in practice on beam, but she gets to meets and falls off 2 or 3 times EVERY TIME!!! We all clap and cheer for her, just to let her know we've "got her back!"

Then I continued reading every one's response and was a bit taken aback at the responses. So... I'm just wondering if the intent of this parent is really what you think it is? Of course, I wasn't there and couldn't read any body language that went with it... but was just wondering. . . .
 

MdGymMom01

Active Member
Mar 5, 2008
2,236
North America
MD, is this nut a new nut? SOunds like she needs to grow up.

Hi Bog--No, this is the same old nut. She is the mother of the daughter who told Dani at the 2nd meet that her vault was worse than before and that she was going to beat her in AA. I guess this parent figures that if her own dd can't win by her own talent then the only way to win is to psychologically psych out her opponents and hope and cheer that they fall. Sickening....
 

bogwoppit

Former Admin
Gold Membership
Former Gymnast
Feb 26, 2007
16,715
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Canada
Hi Bog--No, this is the same old nut. She is the mother of the daughter who told Dani at the 2nd meet that her vault was worse than before and that she was going to beat her in AA. I guess this parent figures that if her own dd can't win by her own talent then the only way to win is to psychologically psych out her opponents and hope and cheer that they fall. Sickening....


Well at least we know where the child learned the behaviour!
 

Tumblequeensmom

Active Member
Proud Parent
Feb 19, 2007
1,453
o.k... well, I see my take on the situation was completely off base! That poor child doesn't stand a chance!
 
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Gymmom94

Guest
Pyscho Mom's Jubiliation

This occurred at a Level 9/10 Regional Meet. The clapping was directed at my daughter and not intended for support. I have approached the gym owners and they do not want anything to do with it. They say it is a parent problem. Not the gym.

In fact, the gym owner saw cheering upon my daughters fall! She actually told me about it. Though I did witness the elation when my daughter fell the first time. These parents are trouble at the gym but I don't know what other recourses I have.

I agree, however, with the statement below

"I guess this parent figures that if her own dd can't win by her own talent then the only way to win is to psychologically psych out her opponents and hope and cheer that they fall. Sickening...."

She does use that tactic also. She often asks the girls questions like: Aren't you afraid to try the cale hop on bars ? what happens if you miss? wouldn't you hit the bars headfirst? etc etc
 

bogwoppit

Former Admin
Gold Membership
Former Gymnast
Feb 26, 2007
16,715
Country
Canada
It is a shame the HC does not want to step in to talk to the parent. She is basically allowing one parent to ruin her gyms reputation, clearly other people will have seen this unsportsmanlike act.

Maybe you could print up a copy of this "parents meet etiqutte" and hand them out at the gym, or just leave a copy in an envelope for this gym nut, she doesn't need to know who it came from. Gymnastics Zone for Gymnasts, Coaches and Parents

Here's the gymnast version Gymnastics Zone for Gymnasts, Coaches and Parents this might be a nice gift for MD nut.
 

MdGymMom01

Active Member
Mar 5, 2008
2,236
North America
Thanks Bog! Those printouts are a great reminder on how to behave at meets and just in general.

Gymmom94--I feel your pain, because I am not sure what to do about this parent either (and the dad is just as bad). I have talked to the coach about some of the behavior and I am not sure if anything was really done about it. I just try to tell my dd to ignore anything that this teammate says to her. Sometimes that is easier said than done. It really sucks that this one family has to cause so much trouble. They act all innocent some of the time, but when it comes to competition time, they turn evil and then the manipulation and sly tactics ensue.
 
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gymgramma

Guest
Maybe the parent was clapping in an encouraging way? You know as if to say, "it's OK, get up you can do it"
 

KAQuinlan

Member
Mar 6, 2009
93
Florida Panhandle
I had the same wondering if it was just a mistaken understanding of the parent's motivation. But having read all the posts, it looks as though you are pretty sure of the evil intent. As a coach, I personally would give them a warning, then kick the family off the team. Their money is not worth the rest of my team being unhappy and having a hard time. The coaches and gym owners have a hard decision, though. If they do kick that family off the team then they will all go tell everyone how terrible the gym is. They could potentially lose lots of current and future customers. It is a tough spot for all involved. I'm sorry that you are having to deal with it!
 
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TeamDad

Guest
I think you've done the right thing by speaking to the gym owner first. Since they don't want to have anything to do with it, I would address it directly with the parent.

If you can set up a meeting with her, I would definitely include husbands also. I would be nice, stick to what you know first hand and let her know that the owner is aware of it, brought it to your attention and has asked to stay out of it.

Once exposed, she should (hopefully) climb back under her rock or leave... I have no doubt that she will likely deny it emphatically but nevertheless once she is exposed she will have to get it under control.

I would definitely tackle this one head on. Another option could be to first call the other team parents to discuss it and ask for advice on how they feel you should handle it. This behavior is inexcusable and I am SHOCKED that the owner isn't addressing it.
 
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socko

Guest
We had a similar situation last year with my daughter's old gym...her teammates actively cheered for her to fail because she usually did better than them at meets and was younger than them... I didn't have a lot of use for their parents because they always made excuses for their daughters' behaviors. I tried approaching a few of the parents and basically was told it "was a thing between the girls"; I also spoke to the coaches and they were uninterested in rectifying this issue ("are you sure?") ....so I took my kid ( and my money!!) to another gym where she is thriving with a supportive environment and just made it to Nationals (while her witchy former teammates barely broke 34s for their AAs). There were some other issues that contributed to our decision to switch gyms but this was also a factor. Success is your best revenge with these kind of morons.:)
 

eeyoretumbles

Member
Jul 13, 2008
234
rainy washington
I hope it was just motivation, when someone falls we clap for them, but it definetly doesn't seem like it. If it wasn't, her actions are totally uncalled for. Gymnastics shouldn't be about if you fell or not, it should be about how hard you tried and if you got back up and tried as hard as you could.
 

Linsul

Active Member
Sep 19, 2008
876
Pripyat
I skimmed after the first post (sorry! about to leave)

Disgusting behavior, terrible, awful, juvenile, offensive, and ultimately pointless for anything but revealing how petty and low a person is.

When I see gyms say 'that's a parent problem' it makes my blood go from simmer to boil. If their child represents the club as an athlete, the parents do by extension when they attend sanctioned meets. Their behavior is a welcome mat or a do not enter sign to your gym. Letting them conduct themselves that way will make a parent think twice about enrolling their child at that gym if that's something they witness. Public displays of bad sportsmanship should be dealt with by the owner or HC. Meets are a celebration of the sport, not an excuse to pick on children.
 
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