Travel with your child

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mommy

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Hi Everyone,
I am just curious as to what all the other parents or coached thoughts are on this. My daughter is an 11 year old (just turned 11) level 9. We travel with the team for meets and have since level 6. Now that she is going to training camps and other things, her coach seems to think that she should be traveling to all of the extra things without her parents. Now I know that when she gets older she will be traveling on her own some but what is the common gym trait regarding travel. I feel that the parents have every right to be with the gymnast ( travel with them, not be with them at every moment) and we are paying a lot of money for the gym, why should we be getting an attitude about travel. If my daughter would get hurt and I would not be in the same state, I would feel horrible. What are your thoughts on this? Do all of the coaches feel that the parents should not be around or is that just our gym?
Thank you!:confused:
 
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gymmomntc2e6

Moderator/Proud Parent
Aug 25, 2007
2,842
North Carolina
I would not let mine go without me or my husband. To me that is young to be away without a parent. But that is just me.

Welcome to CB and don't forget to join the Proud Parent group so you can post in the parent forum !
 
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cathiann

Guest
Parents travel with their child at our gym. The only exception is one meet that only the level 10s go to--they travel as a team to that and parents don't go.
 

gym monkeys mom

Active Member
Proud Parent
Oct 3, 2007
569
Parents go with all of our kids to out of town meets. Kids can go with other parents or families if needed but, when they are not competeing they are the responsibility of the parent.
 

bogwoppit

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Feb 26, 2007
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You pay the bills, she's a little kid. I would certainly want to be in the vicinity, but like at summer camp I am certainly not there all day or night. Just close enough for a phone call.

You could agree that she can travel and stay with the team , as that can be good for the team, she could sit with the team on the same plane as you. You could stay in the same hotel as her, and there is no reason you cannot be at any or all the events she goes to.
 

mariposa

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I was going to say what Bog said. I don't even let my daughter go in a car with anyone else but my hubby or myself. Definitely wouldn't be traveling on a plane without me.
 
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socko

Guest
For regular meets, I have always traveled with my daughter . When she has gone to the Ranch for TOPS and other camps, she has traveled with just her coach..I did go when she went for the TOPS testings but after that it became more an issue of logistics and wasted money. When they go to the camps at the Ranch parents aren't allowed to be there so you have to stay in a hotel an hour away while she's there for the 4-5 days and then you can meet up with her to fly home so what exactly is accomplished (except if you want to be just an hour away) . I saw it more as lost work time and added expense by sending me (in addition to paying all the other expenses that go with the trip to begin with!!). I guess it depends on your level of trust in the coach...I always trusted the coaches she went with. The gym never said I couldn't go but they just kind of assumed that I wouldn't when she went to those things.
 

Chalky

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Wow, I'm kind of surprised on the responses to this.

I definitely think 11 is old enough to travel with a team or school group. While I think parents should always have the option of attending away meets, kids need to develop independance! As long as there is a responsible coach or chaperone accompanying the group, I would start to let my kid experience trips w/o me. I travelled overseas with a school group at age 11 and LOVED the experience.
 

bogwoppit

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It is hardly the same thing. My kids have been away to camp without me, no problems at all. Older ones have been on exchange trips abroad and they loved it.

But if the coach told me I couldn't go to an away meet with my child I would wonder why. Even if it is to the Ranch the parent can still decide to go and spend time touring the region to meet up with their DD at the end.

I think in this day and age it is always smart for clubs to make sure there are at least two adults travelling with gymnasts, for emergency and security reasons. Therefore having parents not far away can be wise, as sending more coaches gets pricey.

I do not think that the child should have to be with mom 24 hours a day on a trip, but to tell parents they are not welcome is bizarre. They are the parents, they pay the bills and if they can afford to travel all over the globe to be with their kids why shouldn't they.

Every parent will have a different take on this, but going away to compete is not the same as going off to camp or on a trip.

But it is clear that there is a broad divide in opinions on this issue, often the way.
 

ejgymmom

Member
May 20, 2009
271
My daughter is not at the competing stage (yet) but I think if a coach told me I should not accompany my daughter to a travel meet that I would have big problems with that. I believe it should be the parents' decision to make, not the coach's. Like others have said, it's the parents who are paying the bills that allow the child to attend the meets and camps. The parents should decide whether or not to go. To me, 11 years old seems very young to travel without a parent...but maybe that's just me. Of course, it's entirely possible that by the time my little one is 11 I might be kicking her out of the house every chance I get. ;) (Kidding!)
 

Chalky

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I agree that parents SHOULD have the OPTION of attending travel meets, whether they always do or not is another matter.
 
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cher062

Guest
Hi Everyone,
I am just curious as to what all the other parents or coached thoughts are on this. My daughter is an 11 year old (just turned 11) level 9. We travel with the team for meets and have since level 6. Now that she is going to training camps and other things, her coach seems to think that she should be traveling to all of the extra things without her parents. Now I know that when she gets older she will be traveling on her own some but what is the common gym trait regarding travel. I feel that the parents have every right to be with the gymnast ( travel with them, not be with them at every moment) and we are paying a lot of money for the gym, why should we be getting an attitude about travel. If my daughter would get hurt and I would not be in the same state, I would feel horrible. What are your thoughts on this? Do all of the coaches feel that the parents should not be around or is that just our gym?
Thank you!:confused:
Nope my DD (12yo) isn't going anywhere with out me or my hubby. Just isn't happening! So long as she is a minor she is having a parent go with her. Besides I like seeing her compete.

At the gym just seeing practice she is fine alone but not on travel meets.

anyone who thinks otherwise isn't a parent.
 

NotAMom

Active Member
May 27, 2009
894
Region 6 (Northeast)
IMHO, 11 yo is way too young. If the coach(es) are parents at all, they should know better. If they aren't (unless they are professional care takers who you know really well), would you trust your young child being away with them -- especially after you are told not to be anywhere around. Anyway you cut it, it still doesn't feel right.

Someone suggests it being an opportunity to learn independence. She is only 11. What's the hurry? What does independence mean? Can she cook? Can she work out of the house? Can she do everyday house chores without reminder/help from the parents? Can she pack for the trip on her own? Does she know the value of a dollar? Does she understand the meaning of consequences? Oh, I get it... She has a cell phone now, doesn't she? Silly me.

Leaving home with someone has nothing to do with independence. It's just about being away from home without the parents. Like a sleepover or a field trip. Nothing more. When my child know something about responsibility, then I'll advocate independent. No wonder every child is such a hurry getting out of the house and never looks back.
 
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cathiann

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anyone who thinks otherwise isn't a parent.
That's a little harsh, don't you think? Just because another parent might feel their child is ready to experience more independence, doesn't make them not a parent. Or am I reading your statement entirely wrong?
 
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socko

Guest
I think what needs to be clarified in all this is what is this gymnast traveling for? Is it a regular season meet or are you referring to developmental camps and clinics that are generally for higher level gymnasts that are held regionally and nationally? I think a lot of the posters assume you are referring to the regular meet seaon and not be allowed to go with your daughter but what I got from your post (because this hads been my experience with my daughter) was that your daughter is a higher level gymnast that is being invited to these camps and clinics (not all of her teammates would be going) and the gymnasts would be going with just a coach? I don't think that makes you not a parent if you do decide to allow her to go with the coach. As I said before, it depends on your level of trust with your coach. And if you decide to go along too, that 's fine too.
 

Granny Smith

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Jun 21, 2007
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This would not fly with me. That's just little ole me though and my dd is 13.

Sorry - having a bad day and am not expressing myself to well! :eek:
 

Ingwe

Active Member
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Apr 14, 2009
760
Region 8
My DD recently went to a meet (it was a mobility meet to socre out of L6) and us parents were told we were NOT allowed to attend this meet. I was really upset about it but eventually let it go because I saw the stress it was causing my DD. (basically being caught in the middle) I did tell the Gym that this is a one time deal and under no circumstance will I not be attending one of her meets again. My DD is a 10 yr L7 and IMO it is in her best interest if I am there for her. I really think the gym was out of line telling us that we couldn't go.
 
Apr 15, 2009
94
Washington State
My daughter (and son) have travelled to Texas and stayed up to a month without their parents (visiting grandparents) several times but I wouldn't let her go to an away meet without me. She is 11 and I just don't see the need for her to go to an away meet sans parents. I agree that going on a trip by one's self does not equal independance. Besides, some kids are very good about not needing their parents around in these kids of situations and some kids get homesick. Which I think it perfectly okay, especially with younger kids and especially when it is something new and unfamiliar to them like travelling to a meet by plane,etc. Having said all this, I know that it is just my feelings towards the matter and different parents will feel differently.
 

Flippers Mom

Member
Jul 20, 2009
200
Region 3
I looked at Flippers tentative meet schedule for this year, started adding up the cost of what it would cost me to go to all of them and asked her if she would consider going to a few meets with one of her teammates (who she is good friends with and has spent lots of time with - including spending nights at each others houses). NO! Her response was that if mom can't go, she won't either. I was a bit surprised because she is independent (albeit shy). Apparently, it is o.k. to go with her friend to their lake house and spend the weekend, but not to a meet. She couldn't explain WHY, just feels strongly that I go with her. I guess I'm fine with her going to meets with someone I trust, but would be uncomfortable with being told that no parents are allowed.
 

munchkin3

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Jun 6, 2008
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I would be seriously PO'ed if anybody told me my 11 yr old should be able to travel alone.....
This is a family decision, not a gym decision......I think if you can be with your DD all the way to the top, then not only are you support for her but you are putting your part in with this sport!!

Granted, there is such a thing as TOO much involvment....y'know who you are (me inlcuded LOL) the parents that have their face glued in the window for 3 hours?!

Too much involvement is one thing....THERE IS NEVER TOO MUCH PARENTING!!!

If you want to be there, and DD likes you there, then be there!

Good luck:)
 
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