Parents Why can't I just let things play out and not worry about the "what if's"?

[Deanna]

Well, this coming winter/spring we will have to fork over more than last season. Kadee is just an L3, and for the past few years all L2s~L4s wear a black leo with pink trim, and the L5 to L10s wear pink with black. So a new leo is in her future (last season we bought one another girl had grown out of)
They did some changes and made a new "pre-team" persay. Of kiddos that are considered L2 to L4, that they are training to compete L5 if and when they are old enough and have the skills. (they will do a couple in house meets). This is the "new team". Now they still have the "old team" which is L3 to L10. (last year it included L2).
This is something they are trying to insert so when they change the name of the levels in 2013 none of the girls will feel as if they were moved back or held back. The two L2s that they moved to L3 (old team) for this coming winter/spring season are ones they "think" will clear L3 and move onto L4 (which will then be called L3). They explained it to me as..Kadee did L2 this past season, will do L3 this coming season..but if she had to repeat L3 then the second year of it would be called L2 (because what is now known as L3 will become known as L2 in 2013. Making her do a year of L2, a year of L3 then a year of L2 (of course just by name not by skill).
I think they are just trying to avoid the drama. They feel Kadee can make it through L3 in one season and wanted her to remain on the old team, and didnt want to put her on the new team. Im glad that they see so much in her..but I worry too. She is 5 (will be 6 next month). She goes to gym 2 days a week for 4 hrs a day. She loves it. She will tell anyone who asks where she is most happiest and she will tell them..one of my happiest places is in the gym. (the doctor, when they were drawing blood for an allergy test, told her to go to her happy place..and asked her where that was..and she said the gym. He told her to stay off the bars in her daydream cause they still needed to be able to reach her arm..lol).
Its a very positive place..so by no means would they put pressure on her on purpose. But they are also very open with them and explained the difference in the teams to them. Kadee and the other little L2 that they moved to L3..asked why the other little one that had been with them in L2 wasnt with them now in L3..and they told them how it was. Why they created the new team. Asked both of them if they wanted to go to the new team or stay with the old team and they both wanted to stay where they were. So they went into it knowing what it was about..but I dont want her to feel as if she let them down if she doesnt do well. You know they have all this faith that she is going to clear it this coming season. What if she doesnt? Im fine with it if she doesnt, her coaches will be fine..but she might feel like she let everyone down that believed in her. You know? I sound crazy dont I? My Momma always said "dont invite trouble"..but I always think of the worst case.
Sorry to dump on all of you..but just needed to throw it out there a little.

 

[sportyspice]

And what is wrong with letting your child fail? In the gymnastics world that is the only way to learn! I would rather that my child's first "failure" be a level in gymnastics than something truly important to her future. Take a deep breath and let go of your fear - it is not good for her or you. Children are amazingly resilient and be thankful that others have so much faith in her - pressure is a privilege.

IMHO most parents struggle with letting our children feel disappointment in themselves - and the best way to cushion that is to show that we know they are strong enough to cope with anything.

 

[gymmomof1]

I know how you feel. It's hard but just let it unfold and try to enjoy the moment. As long as she is happy and likes doing gymnastics then all is well . Deep breaths and lots of prayer get me through lol.

 

[mayestra12]

I can totally relate because I'm the same way. I'm slowly learning to relax and trying to not worry about how will all unfold.

My dd is most likely not going to move to L4 with most of her teammates in August. I think she is ok with it (and I am too) but I can't help but think she will be upset. I don't want her to think she failed.

I try to avoid going in the gym if at all possible. It helps!

 

[MaryA]

I thought we had two more seasons before the "big changes." 2011/2012 and 2012/2013. Am I wrong?

Regardless, I do think the kids will be less bothered by it than the adults. They'll be working on new skills (or, if they don't move up, perfecting the old ones) regardless. I don't think they walk into the gym every day thinking, "here I am to work on my level 5 skills in the gym." They think, "I'm going to work on my kip" or whatever. They will know they haven't moved backwards, regardless what their level is called.

As for feeling like she let people down, she should know, regardless of level, that if she does her best, you and the coaches will be proud of her and that she should feel proud of herself. Nobody is going to be disappointed in her if she does her best. I think that should be a parent's refrain anyway, for just about all things that our kids attempt to do in life.

 

[jcs]

Ok, that all made my head spin I am sure it will all work out fine, I know I get myself worked up and worried about everything. Now that DD has started pre-team, and she says she wants to go 2x a week I hope we are making the right decision and not pushing her into it, and then worried that adding soccer will be way too much....probably more for me than her! I really don't know about these changes, are they happening every where and can someone explain or refer me to an explanation? But I'm sure I'll add it to my list of worries since DD is just getting started and then wonder where she will fall into the mix come next fall....

 

[lhmom]

I had similar worries last season about DD. She competed level 4 as a 6 yr old and I worried how she would react when she struggled at the meets (she had some skills that came and went). I guess I shouldn't have because she did just fine. Even at her worst meet, she learned that the world didn't end if she made mistakes. She handled it well and we encouraged her to use these times as learning experiences. I was happy for her when she won medals but was even more delighted with how she handled herself when she didn't do so well. I bet your girl will be the same.

 

[Deanna]

Thanks everyone. Im not sure if the "change" goes into effect in the 2012/2013 year or the 2013/2014 year, just heard 2013..not sure which end of that year.
Anyway, thats really not the root of my concern. (and I guess I shouldnt have even mentioned that part..but it played into why she was in the grouping she was put in). I could care less of her level..she could care less of her level. But she is aware that she was asked (and she accepted) to be in the group she is in because they think she will move through this level and on by next year. And Im afraid that if she doesnt, she will feel like she let her coaches down. Im just worried about that. Im fully aware that they need to fail and make mistakes..because thats how we learn. I know that. But also as a parent I can worry about it. Im not taking her out of gymnastics because Im afraid she will get her feelings hurt...im just expressing that Im worried about it. I never express my concerns about anything gymnastics to her...EVER. And I wouldnt. Thats why I say somethign here..I need to say it to someone. But I guess sometimes I might just need to hold my tounge all together.

 

[lhmom]

It's really ok to feel the way you do. There's no need to "hold your tongue". It sounds like you trust her coaches and it sounds like they care about her and feel she's ready. If she feels like she has "disappointed" them choosing the other path, are they the kind of coaches that will support her? The way you describe them, it sounds like they will. As for the anxiety, I don't think there's many on here that haven't felt that about their kids in one way or another. If you feel the need to vent here, I hope you feel you can.

 

[Deanna]

Thank you lhmom. I feel like Im so misunderstood..lmao. I try really hard to make my posts as clear as possible..but I always seem to fall short somehow.
They had came to me first and discussed the new team they created..told me what it was about and said they would like for Kadee to stay on the old team vrs going to the new team (which is made up of girls that wont compete persay in comps until L5. (will do a couple in house meets per year). They wanted her to stay on the old team (they refered to it as the "traveling team") as they felt she would be able to progress through the level and handle the comps (will have 5 comps, 4 out of gym, 1 we host, this year). They asked how I felt about that..If I wanted her to stay with the old team or if I would like her to go to the new team, where it is a little more stress free, and she could move through the lower levels in a slower more stress free pase. I told them that it was up to Kadee which she wanted to do. So when Kadee and the other little girl who they had temperarely kept on the old team (until they were sure where the gymnast and parent prefered the child to be..they had grouped them where they thought they would do best) asked why the other little one who had been with them on the old team last year was now on the new team...they explained it in full detail to them..and both girls said they wanted to stay with the old team. So the choice was ultimitly hers. She understands the higher work comitment and stress that goes with it. But im sure she also understands that she has the chance to be on the old team because they feel she can do it. If I wanted to save her the heartache of failing, when they came to me I would have just said "nope..put her on the new team until she is ready compete L5". Im not trying to sheild her from getting hurt or feelings of disapoinment. Im just worried about it happening.

I said this at the end of my OP....
You know they have all this faith that she is going to clear it this coming season. What if she doesnt? Im fine with it if she doesnt, her coaches will be fine..but she might feel like she let everyone down that believed in her. You know? I sound crazy dont I? My Momma always said "dont invite trouble"..but I always think of the worst case.


Im not sure how this made it sound like I was trying to keep her from failing. Or that there was anything wrong with it happening. Just plain and simply saying I worry about her if and when it does. I thought I made it pretty clear..but guess it wasnt as clear as I thought...lol

 

[eme777]

I get what you're saying, but I think if the coaches are as great as you say, she'll be fine. Kids feed off of those around them. She'll only feel like she let the coaches down if the coaches make her feel that way. If that does happen, it may be a sign to look at her interactions with the coaches. I would just trust the coaches because they've worked with lots of kids.

 

[lilgymmie7]

Im not taking her out of gymnastics because Im afraid she will get her feelings hurt...im just expressing that Im worried about it. I never express my concerns about anything gymnastics to her...EVER. And I wouldnt. Thats why I say somethign here..I need to say it to someone. But I guess sometimes I might just need to hold my tounge all together.

Oh please don't stop. You carry my same sentiments. I never talk to my DD about any of my concerns nor do I do so with the coaches. I get that they are in it with DD, but that's exactly why I don't ask them. I really believe gym is best left alone to the coaches and the gymnast, but that doesn't do away with my concerns. That's why like you I use the CB as a sounding voice of sorts. Are you like me...In talking, you sort out your troubles/concerns/confusions? I always work best when I do. I hope this post makes sense...

 

[ac7179]

What are the changes to the JO program you all speak of? Is Level 6 going to be an optional level?

 

[jcs]

I found this on the USAG site

 

[ac7179]

Thanks, jcs! I had googled and found that.....but it appears level six just disappears?

 

[thefellowsmom]

Please don't feel like people are attacking you or misunderstanding you. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. I know there are many moments that I spin myself all up about my daughter and her gymnastics. And like you I would never dream of saying any of those things to her. I think most of us have found ourselves in the same boat at some point and you should feel safe talking about that here. Isn't that what the parent group here is for?

I also know that the best advice my husband always gives me when I get like this is to take a breath and step back from the situation. So filled with love and support I just say take a breath.

She will be fine. It sounds like she has good coaches that understand her and they came to you to discuss it, which is a really good sign. They wouldn't ask her to do anything they didn't believe she could do and if she doesn't make it then you deal with that disappointed then with all the love and support you give her in every other situation she finds herself in, good or bad.

If this is what both her and her coaches feel is the right thing to do then I say trust that. You are a great mother, trust that too.

Now with that said, if your gut is screaming at you to run the other way then you should trust that too. It doesn't seem that way by what you have said, but trust that you know best. You do.

 

[flipper's fan]

Reminds me of Ancient Chinese Proverb:

Worry is paying interest on a debt you may not owe.

 

[Pickle's Mom]

Thanks, jcs! I had googled and found that.....but it appears level six just disappears?

Not exactly. The new Level 6 will be similar to the old Level 5. A new level is being added between the old 8 and 9.

Compulsory:
Old 4=New 3
Old 5=New 4
Old 6=New 5

Optional:
Old 7=New 6
Old 8=New 7
N/A=New 8
Old 9=New 9
Old 10=New 10

There are a few differences in skills, but this is the gist of it.

 

[cathiann]

Reminds me of Ancient Chinese Proverb:

Worry is paying interest on a debt you may not owe.

I LOVE this quote! I know i have enough to worry about right now without worrying about things that may or may not happen in the future.

 

[flipper's fan]

I LOVE this quote! I know i have enough to worry about right now without worrying about things that may or may not happen in the future.

Plaigerize freely- I do.