Parents Hard Decision.

[happygymmum]

HI all.
I am having a little 'head vs heart' issue with my dd. She's 9 and does 4 piece competitive gymnastics in the UK. She only made the team this year but has progressed loads.I'd say she's probably a level 6/7 in the States. She loves her gym, her teammates, coaches etc and she's very driven and determined. Her current gym is small, with outdated equipment and overcrowded. She trains 12 hours a week but would happily train over 20 given the chance. My dilemma is....she has the chance to join a huge, purpose built three story gym with state of the art equipment and train hard with elite coaches. She'd probably start at 12 hours and work her way up to 20+ hours per week. I realize she's never going to make the Olympics so this is a matter of letting her follow her dreams and reach her full potential - something she won't be able to do at the current gym. As I mentioned before - her current gym is lovely. She's made great friends and the coaches love her and do the best they can with the facilities they have. The new gym is also considerably farther away and more expensive so it will be some what of a life style change. What do you think? When you know your dd's gymnastics journey will probably end after highschool do you support her desire to train hard for long hours (with possible risk of injury given she'll be learning more difficult moves at new gym) or do you encourage her to enjoy what she already has and count herself lucky for such great teammates and coaches? I would hate to burn bridges but at 9 years old I think it's now or never!

 

[MeetDirector]

She is 9 so she is old enough for you to get a sense of what she sees in her future, right? Is gymnastics her passion? Does she give up other activities to go to the gym if offered? If the answer is yes to these things AND you can swing the distance and cost increases, then feed her passion. You know that the current gym has a bunch of limitations; why not give it a go?

Good Luck.

 

[BachFlyer]

I agree with MeetDirector, with one exception. I see that you've investigated the facilities and hours, but have you any idea what the training environment and coaches are like, and do you have any sense if the coaching style will be a good and positive fit for your dd? Sometimes the hardest changes are not hours or skills or long term goals, but instead those that come with the personalities involved. Whether or not your child will continue to love the sport could very much depend on the latter.

 

[happygymmum]

Thank you both for your input. In answer to MeetDirector....yes she would pick gymnastics over anything!! She is always in a funk when she has the day off from training. But in answer to BachFlyer the new gym does have the repution for strict, bullyish coach behavior. In fact five of their gymnasts (three recreational and two team) have moved to our gym because of it. However - DD has told me she's not worried about strict, 'scary' coaches. She wants to be pushed but it's easy to say that when she hasn't experienced it yet. So that does add to the decision making as well. Thanks again.

 

[Faith]

Ok. Lots of questions!

When you say "train hard with elite coaches"- if she's not in the elite track group chances are she won't be coached by the elite coaches. I'd clarify that. If she's 9 already it's unlikely she'll be put on the compulsory/elite track.

The disadvantages to the big gym are likely to be- lots of hours, lots of commitment (no holidays, missing for parties etc), for a fairly low goal. Most kids I know at this type of gym quit about 11 when they realise they want a life balance. What does the new gym say she's capable of? What goals do they have for her?

I moved from a shiny gym with all the facilities and elite coaches, to one with nothing. They wanted dd1 there 20 hours a week, to give up all her other activities (age 8) for 2 regional level competitions a year. Dd had an opportunity they wouldn't let her take, so she quit.

I moved dd2, and she has had way more attention. There are no elites, so all the kids compete round the country at invitationals. She's not lost in the hundreds of mid level kids, she actually gets picked for stuff. And she gets to miss if she's tired, or wants to go to a party, or a swim meet...

So for me, if you've got a mid level kid, stay with the mid level gym. If she's seriously got a shot at elite (not usually at 9 in the UK system), try the elite gym.

P.s UK gym is tiny . If you don't want to name gyms here, Pm me or one of the UK members, we have an opinion on most gyms .

 

[floppycat]

It really depends on what the new gym offers - some elite gyms only concentrate on those doing compulsories and even ignore the national girls and have no regional girls. Some are more balanced. Some will only let you do compulsories In age, others have older girls giving it a go. It really depends on the gym. You DD could have a trial some are v choosy so it may not be an option. Only worth training 20+ hours if doing compulsories or found nationals with the aim of doing challenge cup in my opinion, in my DDs opinion it's only worth it for elite and as the driver I agree!

 

[happygymmum]

Interesting. Dd is definitely not on the elite track. She currently competes regional working towards national. She hasn't done a trial yet but I spoke with the head coach and went over her skills. I was honest and didn't embelish Dds abilities and that's when they told me 12 hours working up from there (when she starts twisting on floor, release moves on bars etc). I thnk I would prefer to keep her where she is however she'll be so disappointed if she doesn't get to learn the harder skills due to the limited facilities. She has flat out told me she wants to work hard and progress as far as she possibly can. However, she loves competing so if new gym only allowed a couple meets a year she'd be frustrated....sorry I'm obviously very confused.

 

[Ariekannairb]

So this is kind of a random thought and just meant to be something to think about...My daughter is never going to go to the olympics or train elite. I love her and she is a dedicated gymnast but that is the truth. She would likely spend more time in the gym if I let her. She loves it. It is where her friends are and when we are home she spends the vast majority of her time upside down. I want to feed that passion and I want her to have goals and dreams and something she loves. What I also want is realistic balance. At 10 I am not sure my child, or any child, has the ability to reason out what they are giving up to train massive amounts of hours in the gym. Do I let my child do it because she wants to right now or do I look ahead and consider whether or not she is actually going to regret it once she realizes that 1. gymnastics is a finite sport and 2. she gave up her childhood for it? I feel like part of my job as a parent is to do that reasoning for her. So with that in mind, if my child were not headed towards an elite track with real possibilities of college or farther, I would not allow my child to be in the gym 20 hours per week. I plan on capping my girl out at about 15 hours. I believe with all my heart she will thank me for it later and I worry that she will wonder why I didn't cap it at 10.

At 9 years old, your daughter still has a few years to reach full potential. Fewer hours may mean it takes her a little longer to get there, but what purpose does the push serve and at what cost? Again, it isn't for me to decide what you and your daughter do with her gym time, but I wanted to throw some thoughts out there.

 

[Faith]

The other thing is non- elite track girls don't tend to progress that fast. The two clubs I know that are similar to your description, kids there aren't competing giants, flics on beam or twists on floor until they're 11. Release moves aren't even being thought about. In fact I don't know a non-elite track child that's competed a release move. Our club aren't far behind in regional competition, on far less hours.

Have a look at your prospective gyms results. What kind of comps are they doing? Is it the same half dozen kids every time? Are they competing higher than level 4, l3?

For dd, regional level competition wasn't enough. She'd watch the elite track kids and want to be learning that stuff. The opportunity I mentioned above was a trial for another sport, where progress is less exclusive than gymnastics- there's no separation of elite/not elite, or age restriction. She threw herself into it in the same way. She's now nationally ranked and looking at elite competition next year

 

[happygymmum]

Thanks for your posts. They have given me a lot to think about. I agree with Arie that gymnastics is the most important thing in her life at the moment but that could easily change in the next few years. She does opt to miss parties and school fairs in favor of training - and like Arie mentioned - if she's not training she's still in a leo practicing in our living room. (I have long given up on keeping the furniture in it's appropriate place.)
I think I will leave it a few months and not mention it....if it's still top of her mind after summer we can look at it again. I have a feeling she's not going to drop it though...

 

[Faith]

Does the gym do summer courses? Might be a chance to try it out, and your existing gym should be ok with that. Summer courses do tend to be fun focussed though, she might not get a realistic view of the team coaches attitudes.

I want to know which gym it is now!

 

[homer]

I am in the UK and agree with Faith. Girls are picked very early here, age 5 or 6 to join the elite track. If you are not on it by 8 then you probably wont join it later. They train at a completely different rate and to a different schedule.

 

[Iwannabemargo]

Also you say that the current gym wont enable her to progress like the "big shiny gym", is that true ? Or would she just achieve her potential "slow and steady" ? Better in my mind to be learning release moves and still enjoying gym at 14 than burned out and disillusioned at 12.

Also bear in mind that, aside from elite track, there is no final goal in the UK like the US, no college we just do it for the fun of it.

 

[MeetDirector]

... So with that in mind, if my child were not headed towards an elite track with real possibilities of college or farther, I would not allow my child to be in the gym 20 hours per week. I plan on capping my girl out at about 15 hours. I believe with all my heart she will thank me for it later and I worry that she will wonder why I didn't cap it at 10.

Sorry to hijack this thread, but in the US it doesn't take an "elite track" to have a real possibility for college gymnastics. It does, however take the requisite time in the gym to get to level 10 to have college potential. It also takes a serious, dedicated athlete to make level 10 and compete level 10 for a couple of years to have college potential. If your dd has college gymnastics aspirations, an artificial 15 hour cap won't get her there. Now, if she doesn't have those goals, cap away.

 

[floppycat]

If you going to move, move for the summer so she can potentially compete in any autumn comps, it's the best time to move IMO as they can spend the summer learning new skills. In the autumn the coaches will have their heads down preparing for comps and that doesn't seem to stop until May. You can generally go back to the old gym in general if you leave on good terms.

 

[Ariekannairb]

I disagree that you can't get to college on fewer than 20 hours per week. We have known a few do it. It really depends on the girl. 1 girls 15 hours is another girls 10 hours depending on how hard they train and how quickly they can make corrections. However, the chances of getting a scholarship for gymnastics is fairly slim and one could do better just saving up the tuition payment. I just read some where that only 9% of high school aged gymnasts go on to compete at college and using the extra time and money to pursue other interests. Now, again, I am not saying that it isn't worth persuing. Just that as a parent you have to decide if the risk of not making it after spending one's entire childhood at the gym is worth the rewards. To some people it is and it may well be for your daughter I just fear burn out and/or injury would take out most children going that fast and that hard.

Anyways, I digress. I like the plan of giving her the summer and seeing if she is still asking for it at the end. It is a good compromise to making sure she wants to go that intense and it may be something she tries and loves or tries and then decides is not for her. Whatever she chooses, I am certain you just want her to be happy.

 

[happygymmum]

Hi floppycat - I was thinking that too. A lot of up training goes on in the summer so we need to make the decision. I think we'll risk it and stay put (unless of course dd nags until I agree to the trial - but hoping she'll forget about it for a while). I've had some very helpful feedback today. Thank you everyone.

 

[gymdog]

Hi floppycat - I was thinking that too. A lot of up training goes on in the summer so we need to make the decision. I think we'll risk it and stay put (unless of course dd nags until I agree to the trial - but hoping she'll forget about it for a while). I've had some very helpful feedback today. Thank you everyone.

I think this is a good plan, but if your daughter really wants to, it might be worth a shot. I would decide soon though and plan to switch for the summer...waiting won't really help. Will she outgrow her current gym soon (does it have pits?)

 

[happygymmum]

Hi gymdog. No - no pits. And dd wants pits! Lol. There is the worry that she'll outgrow her current gym. It's a tough decision but will let dd guide the process.

 

[rd7]

Hi, if your daughter is about a level 6/7 at 9 years old then she still has a shot at some high level gymnastics, if not the olympics.

Would your current gym allow her to come back if she didn't enjoy the new gym? Can you talk to them about it. If you don't try the move now she may not get the same opportunity in the future as she will be older.