WAG Am I wrong to do this?

[juliasmom]

I have never done this, but I gave my daughter an ultimatum: score out of level 5 or retire. She has done this level for 2 years. She has scored almost exactly the same at every meet for the past 2 years (around 30.3-30.8). Her coach agrees with me on this. Either she needs to practice more seriously, or she has reached her peak. I'm not sure which one is the case. I'm tired of spending my money with no improvement. Actually, she may have gone backwards on skills and form over the last year. Also, it takes up time when she could be doing other activities that she enjoys. She does not want to quit. She has 2-3 more meets to score out. She is 12 and will be in junior high next year. She will not be able to do any school activities if she continues with gymnastics. She has fallen in love with tennis lately. We could invest more time and money in this if she didn't have gymnastics. I don't mind her continuing if she is improving, but I hate wasting my money and her time.

 

[Seeker]

I think that's probably a kind thing to do for her -- she needs to push herself or make the choice to do something else. It won't be the last time she's faced with a big decision and this may help frame it for her so that she has the chance to really work on it and fight for what she wants -- or not. You may be surprised at how she responds.

Good luck!

 

[gymmomtoo]

I'm surprised she seems okay with staying at level 5. You'd think she'd be unhappy with scoring so poorly meet after meet--poor kid! Does your gym offer Xcel or another team track? Maybe she'd be happy doing that--continuing with gymnastics, but being able to tailor her routines to her strengths.

 

[Mrs. Puma]

I'm surprised she seems okay with staying at level 5. You'd think she'd be unhappy with scoring so poorly meet after meet--poor kid! Does your gym offer Excel or another team track? Maybe she'd be happy doing that--continuing with gymnastics, but being able to tailor her routines to her strengths.

Yes, Xcel is a great program! We're actually using it instead of compulsories and (hopefully)mine will score out before next season, but for kids that don't want to put a ton of hours in but still love the sport I could see it being a great option for. Good luck!

 

[juliasmom]

We have a small team (10 gymnasts). She is the only level 5, and there is only one gymnast who is above her level. Everyone else is Level 4 or below. So, she probably thinks that she's doing okay. She loves the gym, but we are mainly a cheer gym. That's where the focus lies. This is the first year that we've had an optional gymnast in 10-15 years.

 

[juliasmom]

He has let them do xcel before, no one is doing it right now. We only have one coach.

 

[gymmomtoo]

Does the high school she will go to have gymnastics? She could always do that, if so.

 

[juliasmom]

No high school or college gymnastics anywhere remotely close to us. That's why I think she needs to dedicate her time to a new activity that she can continue if she desires. Also, in our state there are very few optional gymnasts. She usually places in the top 3 at her meets with a 30AA.

 

[MILgymFAM]

It seems to me that the problem may be in the program. You say they don't have optional girls often, have only one coach, may let her do xcel, there is only one girl above her, etc. Personally, I could not imagine forcing either of my DDs to quit as long as they were still happy and I could still afford the tuition- and my definition of affording the tuition is exactly the same for a DD with AAs near 40 as for one with AAs near 30. Have you considered perhaps her coaches are failing her? Or that maybe she has peaked, but if she still loves it it's still worth doing? I am sure I am missing lots of the picture here- how much can you really see from a single post- but, yes, in a nutshell I do think it's wrong to force a happy kid, who still loves gym, to quit because of a lack of progress.

 

[gymmomtoo]

If they've let kids do Xcel in the past, is that something you would let her do? Sounds like they just really don't know how to coach gymnastics, if they don't have optionals and girls aren't scoring well at the lower levels. So if she loves gymnastics, you have no other options, and she doesn't want to quit, maybe ask the coach about Xcel?? Or are you thinking that giving her the ultimatum will make her pay more attention to her skills? I can't tell if you think she's goofing around and not really focusing. If that's the case, I can see why you'd put your foot down. It's an expensive sport to not be really working hard at.

 

[GymCMLA]

I don't think that the level or scores should matter. If she loves it and wants to be there, then I am not sure why your would pull her. If she wants another sport instead, then let her move on. It isnt' about the level or the scores, it is about the journey...what is she learning (And I don't mean skills, routines etc)...what is she really learning. I look at dd's last 9 months of learning giants as a HUGE life skill. She works VERY hard, she doens't have it alone, but has made correction after correction and gets a new sub-goal accomplished each time. I assume some day she will giant alone and be a 7, but that isn't what she is learning. She is learning that hard work over a long period is worth it (like the investment in education, or those calculus problems that take 4 pages to solve, or a senior project that takes all semester....) So try to reflect on what she is learning and why this is a good investment (aside from any skills/levels/medals/scores) I was never a good gymnast (dabbled as a kid at the community center and then started in high school, at the school (spanish teacher and PE teacher coaches etc) spotting each other, no training equipment BUT I worked hard every day, it was my exercise, the thing "I didn't have to excel in" no one expected anything out of me (not grades or scores) I was on the JV team and tried my hardest, but I knew I would never be a varsity gymnast or make state or anything. It was SO very good for me.

 

[juliasmom]

Ha! No one at our gym has ever done or even practiced a giant as far as I know. I'm sure we don't train like most of your gyms. Another girl who started gymnastics with her at Level 1 is at level 4 for the third year.

 

[juliasmom]

It seems to me that the problem may be in the program. You say they don't have optional girls often, have only one coach, may let her do xcel, there is only one girl above her, etc. Personally, I could not imagine forcing either of my DDs to quit as long as they were still happy and I could still afford the tuition- and my definition of affording the tuition is exactly the same for a DD with AAs near 40 as for one with AAs near 30. Have you considered perhaps her coaches are failing her? Or that maybe she has peaked, but if she still loves it it's still worth doing? I am sure I am missing lots of the picture here- how much can you really see from a single post- but, yes, in a nutshell I do think it's wrong to force a happy kid, who still loves gym, to quit because of a lack of progress.

You are right. Much of the problem is with the program. That's why I think she needs to try something else if she can't make this program work for her. I just don't see the point of continuing going on a road to no where when there may be something else that she enjoys just as much if she just gives it a try.

 

[MILgymFAM]

Maybe my perspective is skewed, but it's basically a road to nowhere for nearly all kids, if you are looking for something tangible at the end. My DD started at 12.5. The sport will hopefully take her happily through high school and give her teen years focus, that's all, technically. Same for almost all youth activities. Where is it supposed to take her?

ETA- what I mean to ask is this: what level is somewhere? Is L8 worth getting to before stopping? L10? Only elite?

 

[Midwestmommy]

She probably needs a different program and coaching to progress. It seems that there is so much conditioning and so many drills leading up to new skills/levels..... That would be quite a challenge with only 2 kids level 5 and over.

With that said...... Say there are a bunch of kids in a town at the end of the road somewhere who love hockey. Their town doesn't have and never will have enough money to keep their indoor skating rink open all year. It's open half the year, in the colder months. This group of kids loves to play hockey. Given the the situation, and the fact that half of them are fishing/working/recreating in the forest or ocean half the year.... None of them will likely be college hockey players, let alone professionals. Should they all quit?

That big arena in the city where they all played year round last year.... Only 2 Division I or III kids came out of the program in the last two years, and only one pro about eight years ago (this is all fictional to illustrate a point). None have ever been on an Olympic team. The other 298 kids playing year round at that rink last year out of the 300 are going to end their hockey careers roughly the same time as the kids from that tiny town high school. Except that some of the tiny town kids stay around and there are new families that move to town, and there is an active group of adults that play into their 50s for fun, excercise and the love of the game.

I would say let your daughter decide..... And by all means, see if they would let her do Excel, where there is more flexibility and possibly more fun in the routines than another year of 5....

 

[juliasmom]

Well, her coach wants her to quit and just do tumble if she doesn't pass level 5. He says there's no point in continuing after this year if she can't score out.

 

[juliasmom]

What I mean by going no where is she will start Junior High next year. She could play basketball, tennis, softball, run cross country, or cheer with her friends. Pretty soon she will be the only girl her age left at the gym. Most have already moved on. I'm sure she will want to in a couple of years. Then when she decides to do an activity at school, it will be too late. She will not be able to make the team because all of the other girls have been doing these activities for years.

 

[bogwoppit]

I think the program is the issue not the gymnast. I think she has plateaud because the coach cannot coach any higher. We were also at a gym where nobody ever did a giant. Not that there wasn't talented girls there.

I think the ultimatum is unfair, if she is happy why can't she do gym if the coach is prepared to coach her. The money is the same and the outcome is the same.

Honestly I would take her to a new gym before I would force her to quit. I think she would surprise you.

 

[Seeker]

Well, her coach wants her to quit and just do tumble if she doesn't pass level 5. He says there's no point in continuing after this year if she can't score out.

This is likely the issue....sounds like he's written her off already.

 

[MILgymFAM]

Why would it be too late? I picked up soccer in 8th grade and track in 11th and was able to do both well enough to make the team and be happy. I have a lot of respect for your DD for getting where she has and not giving up. It's a shame she doesn't have good coaches. It sounds like your coach knows they can't train gymnasts so they push them out. There isn't a real gym in your area?