WAG Am I wrong to do this?

[GYM0M]

I'm a little confused. Is she in her second or third year of L5?

 

[Deleted member D3987]

I have never done this, but I gave my daughter an ultimatum: score out of level 5 or retire. She has done this level for 2 years. She has scored almost exactly the same at every meet for the past 2 years (around 30.3-30.8). Her coach agrees with me on this. Either she needs to practice more seriously, or she has reached her peak. I'm not sure which one is the case. I'm tired of spending my money with no improvement. Actually, she may have gone backwards on skills and form over the last year. Also, it takes up time when she could be doing other activities that she enjoys. She does not want to quit. She has 2-3 more meets to score out. She is 12 and will be in junior high next year. She will not be able to do any school activities if she continues with gymnastics. She has fallen in love with tennis lately. We could invest more time and money in this if she didn't have gymnastics. I don't mind her continuing if she is improving, but I hate wasting my money and her time.

okay mom, take a deep breath now. that was wrong to put on her because more often than not whether a kid moves up is out of their control. if you're not that good, you remain not that good for a time.

don't have kids unless you're ready to blow money. it's how it is and you don't base decisions on "wasting" money.

and if you can, have her do both tennis and gymnastics. she'll end up picking one. trust me on that.

finally, you could never be wasting HER time. gymnastics has so much to offer, as well as other sports, that you can't see the benefits just yet. be patient. gymnastics is the hardest endeavor that your child will ever do.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

I have included her on this. By the way, the coach told her to move up or quit the other day before I said anything. I have explained everything to her that I have said on here. She agrees with me, but she said it was just so hard for her to make a decision. She loves going to the gym. We kind of came up with the ultimatum together. Maybe the word ultimatum was not really the correct word. We came to an agreement. I am the one paying. I am giving my money to someone who is not able (or willing may be a better word) to help my child progress. This is not her fault. But still, I feel that I am wasting my money.

stoooooooooooooooopid coach saying that to a kid. should have been said to you. geesh

 

[B.Gold]

don't have kids unless you're ready to blow money. it's how it is and you don't base decisions on "wasting" money.

I believe this mom isn't saying she is wasting her money on her DD, she feels her money is being wasted on the program. If my child was receiving this kind of coaching:

He doesn't watch them that closely most of the time. He gives the gymnasts an assignment, and then goes to practice with the cheerleaders. Then yells across the gym for them to move to the next area, bars or whatever, and tells then what their next assignment is. He can see them, but his focus is not on them. He will occasionally walk over and watch a routine and offer some corrections. They are usually vague, like jump higher or more power. She doesn't understand what she's doing wrong.

I would feel like my money was being wasted. And respectfully, I'll go out on a limb and guess you'd feel like YOUR money was being wasted too and you would fire a coach from your gym that coached like this.

 

[munchkin3]

So sorry Juliasmom.....sounds like your DD is very talented, and will never be able to realize her potential because of the program. I can't say it any other way but, that sucks. Kudos to your DD.

I agree with some other parents, gymnastics can be for fitness too. Maybe they should only be competing at AAU meets minimally and then focus on the health side of it.
As far as optional gymnastics, you probably don't want her doing optional gymnastics with a disinterested coach. I can't imagine working flyaways with no serious supervision.....

But if your DD loves it, and she wants to keep doing it, then let her.......she can also check out some methods and strategies off of YouTube....(CB community, don't kill me!). Maybe she can pair up with the older girl and try to teach themselves some cool stuff.....some of the drills on YT are pretty complete and show how to set up safety mats etc......I find that gymnastics kids are pretty careful, and mindful about staying safe.

As far as other sports, it's never too late for anything......after being in gymnastics, she will be good at practically any sport thereafter.
Good luck Juliasmom!

 

[mommyof1]

In this situation I wouldn't give her an ultimatum. Even if she moves up to L6, it doesn't sound like her gym is equipped to coach optionals safely and successfully. I would just sit down with her and have an honest discussion about how optional gymnastics, her goal, is just not something that is available to her. Her coach doesn't sound capable of coaching optionals, she has no peers in the gym, and there are no other gyms in the area. It's really too bad that the gym does not offer Xcel and the schools do not offer gymnastics--those sound like they would be great options for your area and possibly for your daughter. She is really at a natural tipping point--she is about to enter middle school next year and she has maxed out given what her gym has to offer. She probably understands this already on some level, and with some gentle parental guidance may be able to make her own choice to move on--not quit--and pursue another sport happily and successfully.

I don't know where OP lives or what her daughter's gym is like, but I travel to some very rural areas for work. If you live in a typical suburban part of the U.S., it is very difficult to imagine how limited the resources are in some of these places, and not just for kids' sports. The idea of the passionate athlete persevering against all odds is a romanticized one, and that athlete still needs a coach who is committed to and capable of coaching at the athlete's level even if facilities, practice time, and opportunities for competition are limited.

 

[juliasmom]

Thanks... Lots of good advice here... My daughter and I are very close. We have talked about moving on to another activity for a couple of years now. She knows that almost no one goes past level 4 at our gym ever. I mainly let her stay in gymnastics because she loves being at the gym, and it's great exercise. She has done gymnastics since she was 3 and is scared to give it up. She also has had a goal to compete at least one meet as an optional gymnast. I'm not sure why that is so important to her, but it is. Her coach thought that would happen last year, but she hasn't shown any improvement over the last year. This is why I decided to tell her that she should quit if she doesn't pass level 5 this year. I just don't know if her goal is obtainable. But if she does pass, I wouldn't want to deprive her of her goal. She does love tennis, and she says that she likes it more than gymnastics. So far, we have been able to work in tennis practice one day a week. Her tennis coach thinks she has a lot of potential and wants her to start doing privates. Also, she is begging for the private tennis lessons. We were able to work one in a couple of months ago, but with her schedule she hasn't been able to do another one. Also, private tennis lessons are costly. $45 an hour. There's only so much money.

Our gym is a GREAT cheer gym. Our cheer squads are AWESOME. She used to be a cheerleader, but she just hates competitive cheerleading. She says she will never do it again even though she was really good at it.

 

[profmom]

I just feel really bad for her. This is not her fault or her lack of capacity. It sounds like it really is the coaching. I really hope she can make it into optionals, even if for just a few meets. It would be a great way to walk away from competitive gymnastics if that's what she chooses to do.

 

[Ali'sMom]

I have no advice, as I feel badly for her (not your decision to move up or move out, but the fact that her gym can't give her the tools to move up).

I understand her being scared to change. Change is always scary, but she's known gym since she was 3. She probably doesn't even remember NOT going to gymnastics.

This is a video that was shared a while ago, it might help to watch:


Good luck!!

 

[emorymom]

She's 12 so she has probably been dealing with a huge growth spurt. Perhaps even with ineffective coaching, she can progress again once it stops. Just playing the other side, she's not going to be left high and dry if she doesn't quit this year. Cheer, track, cross-country, all of these she will probably make the teams for in high school with no preparation but gymnastics. But I might make the same conclusion in your shoes.

 

[Seeker]

In the absence of quality coaching, has she tried to watch the instructional videos on YouTube for the routines? Also just watching well performed routines can help. Maybe she can glean enough pointers from those in order to boost her scores a bit? Really difficult situation.

 

[juliasmom]

In the absence of quality coaching, has she tried to watch the instructional videos on YouTube for the routines? Also just watching well performed routines can help. Maybe she can glean enough pointers from those in order to boost her scores a bit? Really difficult situation.

She won't watch them. I think she's a little frustrated with gymnastics even though she won't admit it. She doesn't like to think about gymnastics when she is at home.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

I believe this mom isn't saying she is wasting her money on her DD, she feels her money is being wasted on the program. If my child was receiving this kind of coaching:

He doesn't watch them that closely most of the time. He gives the gymnasts an assignment, and then goes to practice with the cheerleaders. Then yells across the gym for them to move to the next area, bars or whatever, and tells then what their next assignment is. He can see them, but his focus is not on them. He will occasionally walk over and watch a routine and offer some corrections. They are usually vague, like jump higher or more power. She doesn't understand what she's doing wrong.

I would feel like my money was being wasted. And respectfully, I'll go out on a limb and guess you'd feel like YOUR money was being wasted too and you would fire a coach from your gym that coached like this.

yes, i would.

 

[Seeker]

I completely understand why she'd be frustrated, but if she's not really being coached at the gym and doesn't know what she's doing wrong, how is she going to improve her score? If she really wants to make it to L6 (which you said was very important to her), her options are really quite limited. YouTube could probably teach her more than she's learned at the gym in the past 2 years.

 

[juliasmom]

YouTube could probably teach her more than she's learned at the gym in the past 2 years.

I guess it's not that important to her then because she will not watch a youtube video.

 

[GYM0M]

Does your gym hold a parent showcase for the rec classes at the end of the year? Maybe should could perform a routine at something like that.....I agree that if it wasn't for her current coaching she would not be in this situation. Have you considered doing a couple of privates at the gyms 2 hours away? I know that may seem frivolous, but it might only take her one or two to get that L5 score up and then she can move on to L6. Just a thought.

 

[profmom]

I guess it's not that important to her then because she will not watch a youtube video.

Not everyone is a visual learner. She may be more kinetic.

 

[Ali'sMom]

One last straw: Would she watch the USAG app on an ipad? It shows all compulsory routines, and explains in text what the deductions are for each element.

It seems more like you're paying monthly for a lot of "open gym" time

 

[juliasmom]

Have you considered doing a couple of privates at the gyms 2 hours away? I know that may seem frivolous, but it might only take her one or two to get that L5 score up and then she can move on to L6. Just a thought.

He doesn't allow the team to do privates at another gym. If she is caught doing this she will be dismissed from the team. Also, I found that other gyms aren't open to it.

 

[GYM0M]

He doesn't allow the team to do privates at another gym. If she is caught doing this she will be dismissed from the team. Also, I found that other gyms aren't open to it.

A ballet instructor could help with lines and leaps and turns. I mean, she needs 1 point....ya know??