Parents Best Advice

[Flippinmom]

What is the best advice you’ve received or given to a gymnast/family?

Mine was something I actually read here on CB:

Let it be theirs. Their sport, their journey. It’s incredible how often parents at the lower levels inadvertently take the joy out of gymnastics for their kids without realizing how much pressure they’re putting on their gymnast until it goes too far. I’m grateful that I read early on to leave gymnastics at the gym and let it be hers.

Share your best advice!

 

[Coach Kate]

I know my parents really appreciated being told to think of the sport as more of a marathon than a sprint, right when I first made team. For the majority of people, there's no reason to rush anything and it may end up biting you in the long run. I stayed competitive for 11 years and then pole vaulted in college. It was a great experience and I'm glad I had it.

As a coach, I would give the advice to let your child's coach be their coach. Let them give corrections and figure out their composition. Keep your child safe and well and be their advocate when necessary, but let the coach do their job.

 

[Janneke]

Mine would be to never compare one gymnast to another. Each is on their own journey and will achieve things at their own pace. Sometimes your child will be the first the get a certain skill, sometimes they are the last and that is okay.

 

[Ty’s Dad]

Levels 3-9 and Hopes-Jr elite don’t matter to anyone but the kid and parent. It doesn’t start getting real until Sr. Elite Nobody cares so no need to rush

 

[josie55]

Gymnastics is not a sacrifice, but a choice. Giving your time to feed the poor is a sacrifice; participating in a club sport is not. So don't buy into the narrative that your child is "giving up" going to the mall, hanging with their friends, blah blah blah so they can do gymnastics. This is just one example of how your words will make a difference in how they see themselves and their sport.

 

[estamey21]

My gymnastics coach 20 years ago: "Don't think, just do." (Heavy Romanian accent, of course.)

Me to my students when they fall: "Does your body hurt or do your feelings hurt (or both)?" A lot of times, the emotional pain of falling (fear, embarrassment, frustration, anger) is worse than the physical pain. A student needs to know the difference between the two so that they can communicate their needs in times of distress.

 

[Flippinmom]

Gymnastics is not a sacrifice, but a choice. Giving your time to feed the poor is a sacrifice; participating in a club sport is not. So don't buy into the narrative that your child is "giving up" going to the mall, hanging with their friends, blah blah blah so they can do gymnastics. This is just one example of how your words will make a difference in how they see themselves and their sport.

I’ve never thought about it this way! Although I don’t ever say anything about gymnastics being a sacrifice to my gymnast (because I don’t want her to feel guilty or burdened in any way), I do sometimes think to myself that we are giving up a lot in terms of time and using the money elsewhere. But you are absolutely right, it’s not a sacrifice, it’s a privilege. Thank you for this POV! Our thoughts make a difference in how we see things too

Edited to add: I also wish I had a better idea of what we were getting into before she fell in love with her sport in Rec. Now I could never take it away, and it escalated quickly. I should have done more research, you live and you learn

 

[CuriousCate]

I remind my kids that the level of commitment to their sports that we as a family have agreed upon is a privilege, it is not a given and it is not to be taken for granted. My best advice to others is to make sure that your kids understand this. They are not entitled to it.

The best advice I've gotten was to stay out of the gym - like a step beyond just letting the sport be theirs. Stay out of the gym for your own sanity. Stay away from the drama, the comparisons, the judgement, etc. It has saved my relationship with this sport and likely my relationship with my kid from going south.

 

[gymgal]

Take it one day/meet/year at a time but be prepared to be in it for the long haul and know in advance the costs (not just financial) involved for your family before your child falls in love with the sport. I have seen too many parents go in blindly and then have to tell their child that gymnastics is no longer feasible for their family.

know the long term stats. This will help keep your feet grounded and enjoy the present instead of always looking toward the lofty dreams of 10, college, elite etc. because the reality is that the odds are against your child. Only 1/10 of those who compete L3 make it to L10 and less than 50% of L10s make it to any college team. And Elite is just the tiniest fraction of those odds. Point being - stay in the present. Think of the sport in terms of gaining confidence, fitness, friends, etc

 

[raenndrops]

1. Be a safe place for your gymnast to land. Coaches coach, gymnasts do the work, and family is the soft spot - listen, acknowledge, encourage, be positive.

2. If the majority of the girls have a problem with a coach, listen because THERE is a PROBLEM! In our case, the girls talked to HC before a practice started because they were all having trouble with a certain coach. HC, being made aware, told the girls that she would deal with it and would pay closer attention that night. The coach in question started the night coaching a preschool class before switching gears to team.
The things she did that night that stood out (two months before meet season started):
- yelled at an almost 4 year old for falling off the high beam twice (once on a half turn and once on a jump)
- told a girl (old level 6) that her floor routine was the worst she had ever seen
- told another girl in the same level that she was too disgusted to even look at her after her floor routine
- refused to give a third girl any feedback or corrections to fix her routine other than it sucked. This girl had earned 1st place on floor at YMCA Nationals in old level 5 roughly 2 months earlier.
FALLOUT: At the next practice, that coach was no longer employed by the YMCA.

3. If the gym isn't a good fit for the gymnast, then the gymnast won't thrive. I have passed this bit of info on to a few different parents.

 

[gym_dad32608]

If you're not first, you're last! I tell that to my daughter before every meet, or the "sweep the knee" quote if she is competing against a squad she hates.

Just kidding, love me some Ricky Bobby and Daniel-san

Similar to other themes,

Just let it happen and enjoy the journey, try not to get too caught up in any singular event or episode, like she has to be level X by age Y or worse, since she is Level X by age Y she is a prodigy. Even the coach/parent drama is generally nonsense in the grand scheme. If you get past L5, there is a good probability you are in it, and this sport is a marathon, plenty of ups and downs, injuries and setbacks, but remember the time you spend before the meets, the fun travel, the shared dinners, watching the smiles with friends. That is what makes it all worth it. It goes too fast.

 

[GymDadWA]

A judge that was doing a consultation with the team said her number one advice was for gymnasts to stop worrying about falling. They rather see (and reward) routines were gymnasts are trying to get all the points instead of seeing a play it safe routine.

For parents RELAX and have fun. Your tension rubs off on the gymnasts, if the parents are having fun the kids relax and are able to perform, or don't get so down on themselves if they are having a tough day. So many meets the families are watching as if an Olympic spot is up for grabs, just have fun and cheer for everyone even *gasp* other teams.

 

[raenndrops]

just have fun and cheer for everyone even *gasp* other teams.

Lol, if we know another team only has 1 girl in the session, our coaches and gymnast offer to do HER team cheer with her at the end of presentation of teams ... and if she is in our rotation, we cheer just as loud for her as we do for our own girls.

 

[Flippinmom]

So much great advice in here, love reading these. Thank you!

 

[Pollylou]

I try to encourage her to relax and enjoy the experience. She gets very anxious and I'm always mindful not to put more pressure on her.