Coaching vs. Parenting

[nevertooold]

I'm intrigued by the amount of people who see coaching and parenting as fundamentally different. I know I have room to grow in both my coaching and parenting, but is there something here I'm not getting??

I feel my role as a parent is to accept my children for who they are, where they are. To guide, challenge, and encourage them as they grow into self-fulfilled adults.

I see my role as a coach the same way.

As a parent we teach our children continually, everything from how to complete mundane household tasks, to the abstract... how to treat other people, how to make good choices, how to live with bad choices, etc.

As a coach we teach physical abilities/skills and mental preparation as well.

Both are teaching, both are instructing, both are mentoring.

What am I missing here?

 

[Geoffrey Taucer]

Non-parent speaking here -- I can only comment from the perspective of the coach.

I think in the abstract, the two are very similar, for all the reasons you've listed. I don't think there's such a strong contrast between coaching in general and parenting in general.

I think the differences arise when we look specifically at how they both relate to the gym. For a gymnast, I believe the primary role of the parents is to support, and the primary role of the coaches is to critique. While there is of course some overlap which must occur, I think there is a crucial difference in how the kids see the two.

I believe that as far as gymnastics is concerned, kids do best when they see their parents as a source of unconditional support. I believe that coaches by our very nature are at our best when we're somewhat difficult to please. I should stress that I don't believe in being a complete nazi of a coach, but I do believe that what praise they get from me as a coach should be hard-earned if it is to be highly valued and saught after. This goes against the nature of unconditional support.

Of course, this is just going by my observations from the perspective of a coach -- my psychological background is limited and my parenting background is nonexistent, so I could be wrong about any of this.

 

[ryantroop]

See... I kinda disagree... I see the role of the parent and the coach as someone who empowers and guides - corrections included, I don't find my role to critique. I find my role to analyze, and crrect through objective, digestable chunks. Be it the drill components of a jaeger, or understanding why you don't hit another person, there is a foundation that is built upon, and we both as coaches and parents try to organically foster growth in what we see as the appropriate direction.

I'm assuming this comment comes from the post about coaching your own child. I have seen it done well, in my opinion, and I have seen it done poorly (again, opinion). Coach or not, your role is unconditional love and support. That line never should blur as a coach, but does need to be moderated in its entirety. Nothing bothers me more than a coach that brings other gymnasts down so theirs can be the best. As a coach, our responsibility is to all our gymnasts - relatives or not. It is very difficult to seperate the two roles, but my coach growing up did it very well with his sons. He didn't even coach them until their final years as competitive athletes. He let others pave the foundations so there was never any confusion. In a club, this is often difficult. However, as with any sport, it is not impossible. Every parent wants their kid to be the best - as coaches, we have the means and the know how to make it happen. However, the role of coach and the role of parent need to be distinct.

For what its worth - my 2c.