Parents Daughter doesn't want to quit...

[Tlynn]

We liked that book too. Other recommendations are : https://www.amazon.ca/Feelings-Book...&qid=1471982772&sr=1-6&keywords=american+girl
And this is the one that is probably most helpful (a manual and workbook): http://odinbooks.com/index.php?page=viewitem&itemId=7708 and http://odinbooks.com/index.php?page=viewitem&itemId=4649

Sorry- forgot to list the workbook to go with the American Girl one: https://www.amazon.ca/Feelings-Book...4_4?ie=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=1S7931M0T9MQP5E9Q2KC

 

[Deleted member 18037]

This is not about gym, it is so much more. I would be seeking professional help.

 

[claudidoll]

This is not about gym, it is so much more. I would be seeking professional help.

But couldn't it be just gym? Apparently everyone goes through it, but I find that difficult to believe

 

[MILgymFAM]

But couldn't it be just gym? Apparently everyone goes through it, but I find that difficult to believe

Everyone does not go through it. I would be concerned, especially if she's practically hyperventilating over a specific and singular coach. That is not even in the realm of normal.

 

[GYM0M]

But couldn't it be just gym? Apparently everyone goes through it, but I find that difficult to believe

Everyone experiences some degree of anxiety with unfamiliarity, but to the point of hyperventilating? Imo, that kind of anxiety either has a significant root cause OR the child has a bigger problem managing anxiety / a shorter fuse to go over the edge. My DD has been in gymnastics for over 7 years and she is extremely shy and absolutely does not like to be touched or anything like that. And she has been nervous, anxious even, when meeting new coaches & team members, at camps, competitions and the like. And there have been times when she's cried at gym when she's 'overwhelmed.' BUT she has never gotten past the point of not being able to calm herself down. And she's only 10.

 

[gymdog]

But couldn't it be just gym? Apparently everyone goes through it, but I find that difficult to believe

Could be, but not very common unless she just started with these coaches within the last week or two. Although that is more common, it is still anxiety and affects some kids more than others. For those that it does affect, it can stop them from doing something they love.

 

[claudidoll]

I contacted a child psychologist last night. If nothing else they can help determine if quitting is really what she wants.

She's has these coaches since July and instead of getting better it's gotten worse. It doesn't help that her four buddies got moved to another group and she's left behind. So between the coaches and missing her friends she's just miserable.

Should I contact head coach to let her know we are seeking professional help with this?

 

[gymdog]

I contacted a child psychologist last night. If nothing else they can help determine if quitting is really what she wants.

She's has these coaches since July and instead of getting better it's gotten worse. It doesn't help that her four buddies got moved to another group and she's left behind. So between the coaches and missing her friends she's just miserable.

Should I contact head coach to let her know we are seeking professional help with this?

If it were me, I would definitely want to be apprised of the situation and what role I could play in mitigating the problem. So I would want to know and possibly be in contact directly with the professional.

 

[claudidoll]

Update

Took DD to a psychologist to help with the anxiety. Her anxiety is also affecting school now so I'm glad I took your advice.

Unfortunately my DD has been removed from the competitive program to advanced rec. I was up front and honest about what she's going through and I get that this is supposed to help her but
She is devastated.

She doesn't want to do rec gym, she loves competing.

 

[gymdog]

Update

Took DD to a psychologist to help with the anxiety. Her anxiety is also affecting school now so I'm glad I took your advice.

Unfortunately my DD has been removed from the competitive program to advanced rec. I was up front and honest about what she's going through and I get that this is supposed to help her but
She is devastated.

She doesn't want to do rec gym, she loves competing.

Wait, was this their decision or yours?sounds like theirs, but just making sure before I reply.

 

[claudidoll]

Wait, was this their decision or yours?sounds like theirs, but just making sure before I reply.

It was theirs

 

[gymdog]

It was theirs

Oh. Sorry to hear that Did they give a timeline or any options or anything?

 

[claudidoll]

No timeline or options, just moving her at advanced rec. she doesn't want to do rec. This has just made the anxiety worse, getting her to school tomorrow is going to be hard.

 

[Seeker]

That is a crappy response by them. Is there another gym you can move to?

 

[MeetDirector]

Update

Unfortunately my DD has been removed from the competitive program to advanced rec. I was up front and honest about what she's going through and I get that this is supposed to help her but
She is devastated.

She doesn't want to do rec gym, she loves competing.

What???

Any gym that would kick a kid that had been doing team for 4 years (as you said earlier) to the curb by "moving" them to Rec does not deserve another penny of your money. Find a new gym - now.

 

[l.c.o]

This is tough. My own DD struggles tremendously with anxiety. It affects her EVERYWHERE.

She's back in with a new therapist who we LOVE and after just a couple sessions, we can see some improvements already. Here's a Web site her therapist recommended she use to learn about anxiety: https://www.anxietybc.com. Granted, my DD is older than yours (12), but they have a youth section. Maybe I'd mention it to your DD's therapist, and if she agrees you guys could read together. DD has really liked learning about it, and it's helped to 'normalize' it some.

In regards to the gym moving her to rec - I'd strongly consider calling the therapist for an official recommendation, but personally my thoughts would be to pull her from that gym completely. Clearly this is a message from the gym that they don't want to/can't deal. I'd also maybe take your DD to tryout at other clubs if she wants to be a competitive gymnast. Not only would she be able to compete in the sport she loves, but sounds like it would also be excising a big stressor from her life (coaches she's afraid of). While yes, they likely won't be coaching her in rec where she is now, each time she enters that gym it'll be a reminder that she was moved from team, and she may still have to see them - neither are healthy reminders.

 

[raenndrops]

Time to find a new gym.

 

[Ali'sMom]

My DD had a summer of high anxiety. It stemmed heavily from separation anxiety (at 11 years old... lots of thoughts went through her head about Nana leaving her at gym). We did go to a counselor, and she managed to work past it.
Different, I'm guessing, than what your DD is going through, but still anxiety.

But for my DD, the coaches WANTED TO HELP HER. Not kick her to the curb. If that's what our coaches had done to DD, we'd have left the gym. Either to a new one, or to a brand new sport. That would make me feel like they didn't care about her - and when they are in charge of your DD for 15-20 hours a week, they had BETTER care about her as a child.

 

[JMACAZ]

I am glad she is going to talk with someone. I am very disappointed at the gyms reaction and taking her off team. I hope there is another gym close by that is willing to work with her.

 

[claudidoll]

There is one other option for a gym, do I wait for the anxiety to settle or do I take her now. This is such a tricky situation