Parents Daughter is with girls 5 years older than her, mothers hate me!! help!

[GymMom22107]

SO, this isn't about gymnastics it's actually an acro class my daughter takes. She takes ballet there as it is a recommendation by her coach. She recently asked me to start taking acro and after she begged me for a while I finally gave in and signed her up. I was thinking she'd be with kids her age, actually I wanted her to be with kids her age, but the dance teacher said she was more at the level of the 10 year old and maybe even more advanced and being in class with the 5 year olds she would be bored out of her mind. So, we had class yesterday, my daughter had a great time, did really well. It was her first class and all the other kids have been there since September so she did well considering and after little instruction could do all that the others could do really well. Dance teacher confronted me after class and said we may need to move her up again soon. So that is not the problem, I was proud of her for doing so well of course and happy she had a great time. My problem is I got stares of death the entire class. At first I was like, do I have something stuck to my butt or something?!, why are these ladies looking at me like that?! It was after the death stares went on for 20 mins (and I checked myself in the bathroom, lol, making sure I didn't have anything strange stuck to me) and they were all whispering to each other that I came to realize perhaps my daughter is not welcome because of her age and how well she did. I was sort of shocked by how immature these woman were being, after feeling seriously uncomfortable I moved and sat on a bench around the corner. I heard one woman say, why on earth is that girl here, this is ridiculous. I feel super uncomfortable! I really enjoy watching my daughter but I'm thinking of not hanging around there during class. I just really hope that the attitude of these mothers don't rub off on their daughters.

 

[krisnkids]

The show "Dance Moms" came to mind while reading your post. My smart-alec personality type would have wanted to call a friend and whispered just loud enough, "I think I got transported into Bravo's Dance Mom's show".

Unfortunately there isn't much you can do. Bring your ipod/mp3 player, sit there, enjoy watching your daughter and listen to music.

 

[SGMOM]

I have a similiar issue for ballet, that my kid takes because her coach recommends it. She's 7. She was in the 6-8 year old ballet 1 class, but she was moved up. Now she's in a 9 and up leveled class. I haven't told anyone her age in the new class. I've had a couple of people ask how old she is, and I laugh and say "Oh, she's short. She's a gymnast." Both are true. Sometimes, someone will ask how she got in that class, and I just tell them that this is where the director put her after evaluating her. Then, I follow up with a clueless, "how did you guys find out about this class?".

 

[Pineapple_Lump]

They are crazy, take head phones.
As a gym coach who has kids come in from from doing Acro at dance places I warn you to be careful. These places have kids bridging at three and four, they do lots of limbers and walkovers with no technique (all lower back no use of shoulders). One girl told me she could back handspring I asked to see and she said she had not stretched her back enough

 

[GymMom22107]

They are crazy, take head phones.
As a gym coach who has kids come in from from doing Acro at dance places I warn you to be careful. These places have kids bridging at three and four, they do lots of limbers and walkovers with no technique (all lower back no use of shoulders). One girl told me she could back handspring I asked to see and she said she had not stretched her back enough

Yeah now that you say that I was a little concerned watching class last night. There were some things she did that her coaches have not had her do yet in gymnastics and I'm thinking it's probably for a good reason. Like for instance she doesn't yet do a back bend standing up, just from the floor and they had her do that last night several times, I was worried she might hurt herself. I'm just hoping she does not get any bad habits and her being with bigger girls also worries me that the stuff she learns may not be age appropriate for a small young body. My daughter has not learned a front handspring yet in gymnastics and they were teaching them to her last night at acro. She did several sloppy ones and hurt her toe (wasn't anything serious) on one of them. The dance teacher is great, I mean her girls dance really well, she is very friendly and kind and seems to teach dance very well. I think she was placed in an older class because she has done gymnastics for years not because she is more talented than other kids or something. She is not better than the other girls in her class at all, she just caught on fast to what they were doing. But I'm sure a lot of those girls don't take gymnastics so that is why my daughter is close to their level. I think if given the chance I may mention to the mothers she takes gymnastics because honestly I think if she didn't do gymnastics she would be with kids her age. But then again it's really ridiculous for them to act that way towards me without even knowing me or knowing why my daughter is there so maybe I shouldn't even waste my time.

 

[GymMom22107]

I have a similiar issue for ballet, that my kid takes because her coach recommends it. She's 7. She was in the 6-8 year old ballet 1 class, but she was moved up. Now she's in a 9 and up leveled class. I haven't told anyone her age in the new class. I've had a couple of people ask how old she is, and I laugh and say "Oh, she's short. She's a gymnast." Both are true. Sometimes, someone will ask how she got in that class, and I just tell them that this is where the director put her after evaluating her. Then, I follow up with a clueless, "how did you guys find out about this class?".

I know, it always seems like everyone is offended when a child who does really well enters the class. A new girl came into my daughters gymnastics class a few days ago and does very well. My daughter has always done very well in class, I wouldn't say she is the best, I think they all have their strengths but I didn't sit there and boil about how this new girl came in doing better than my daughter. Instead I feel it's good for kids to have someone who does better than them at some things, I think it motivates them to try harder at things. It's funny too because it seems like parents are always worried about who gets what and who is where and who is doing better than who but the kids seem to all be good friends no matter if they are really good or need a lot of help. It's kind of sad some adults act that way!

 

[GymMom22107]

The show "Dance Moms" came to mind while reading your post. My smart-alec personality type would have wanted to call a friend and whispered just loud enough, "I think I got transported into Bravo's Dance Mom's show".

Unfortunately there isn't much you can do. Bring your ipod/mp3 player, sit there, enjoy watching your daughter and listen to music.

Could you imagine if they had a show called Crazy Gym Moms, that would be interesting not to mention dramatic!

 

[txgymfan]

CNN did a documentary about Parkettes a few years ago. It was controversial and did not show the best face of gymnastics.

 

[LoriLou]

From experience I can tell you that the world of dance is MUCH more cut throat than the world of gymnastics on the mom side. The dance moms make CGM's look like angels. I'm not really sure what to tell you about it. This is one of the reasons that we no longer do dance. DD(7yo) was in dance for years. The director started pushing me to put her on team (which I did not want to do). Then she started moving her to advanced classes and that is when the dance mom craziness started. I started just dropping off. These women did not just give stares. They would gossip about my daughter and I right in front of me using quite loud whispers. It was down right aggressive. Luckily DD decided she didn't want to do dance anymore once she was place on gym team. She kinda decided that anybody could do step-together-step-ball-change. It didn't seem very cool to her anymore. I got outta there as fast as my little legs could take me. I'm not sure why the dance moms are so much more aggressive, they just are.

 

[GymMom22107]

From experience I can tell you that the world of dance is MUCH more cut throat than the world of gymnastics on the mom side. The dance moms make CGM's look like angels. I'm not really sure what to tell you about it. This is one of the reasons that we no longer do dance. DD(7yo) was in dance for years. The director started pushing me to put her on team (which I did not want to do). Then she started moving her to advanced classes and that is when the dance mom craziness started. I started just dropping off. These women did not just give stares. They would gossip about my daughter and I right in front of me using quite loud whispers. It was down right aggressive. Luckily DD decided she didn't want to do dance anymore once she was place on gym team. She kinda decided that anybody could do step-together-step-ball-change. It didn't seem very cool to her anymore. I got outta there as fast as my little legs could take me. I'm not sure why the dance moms are so much more aggressive, they just are.

Honestly I think I can handle the moms, if I have to I will speak up or speak to the dance teacher about it. I dislike confrontation but if it absolutely needs to happen I'll do it. I'm more worried about my daughter and how she might be treated. I'm already worried about her being in that class because of her age and that it may be hard for her to not have any friends in class like in her other classes. The girls she goes to class with make it even more fun for her in gym and ballet because they are her age and they talk and laugh together. So I think she will already feel out of place because of her age and I hope the older girls don't resent my daughter for being there after their moms gossip about my daughter in front of them which I'm sure they will since they had no problem even doing it in front of me. Can't imagine what they'll say when I'm not there! I guess if it becomes a problem I'll just have to figure out how to address it. I just wasn't expecting this behavior, it was kind of unbelievable to me that adults would act that way. The crazy gym moms at my gym are more crazy in the way that they think their kids are the next Olympian but I don't generally hear talking badly about other kids, so yeah these "dance moms" kind of shocked me with their behavior, especially since it was her first day! I was not expecting that at all!

 

[wallflower]

It's not unusal once a kid is on a gymnastics team to have a large age span. DD is 7 years old and doing level 7. Her group is all jr high and high school kids and 1 10 year old. The girls are wonderful with her and she has many great friends. I've never had any problem with her being isloated or not feeling welcomed. I haven't sensed any resentment from the older kids at all. They love her and are like big sisters.

Just my opinion here, but acro at a dance place is a waste of time for a gymnast. I guess if your daughter is a rec gymnast then it's okay, but once they are on team it really is pointless. Let her take an extra dance class or something completely unrelated to gymnastics. And you never know what the moms could be whispering about. Maybe it had nothing to do with your child. I try to always assume the best of everyone unless I know otherwise. I try not to read into what other people are doing or saying. You'd be surprised to find that most people notice less about you or your child than you think. Most are consumed with themselves and their own child.

 

[gymboymom]

I'm trying to keep my mouth shut here, but want to offer another perspective. My daughter does "gym" at dance. All these girls are middle schoolers who can barely do a good backwalkover. Somehow they make them feel good about themselves and put together a decent recital "dance" for them. Something fun, it really wasn't about the skills they could do, the all wore masks. Our studio has several younger classes of gym with girls much better than them. So the whispers may have nothing to do with your daughter being better, but really about the older girls self esteem in a program letting a younger obviously more experienced child into the class. There could be issues with the studio on this fact (or any other facts) that you are not aware of.
FYI, I let me younger one who is my gymnast do a class at the dance studio because my older one was there, and the gym was not happy about it once he was on team.

 

[SGMOM]

Parents do get upset about unfair applications of policies, and perhaps they should. At our studio, I am sure the issue is that the class is for children who are at least 9. I'm sure the parents are wondering if my kid is very small for 9 or if an exception was made just for her. The next natural question is "why didn't my child get an exception to ---- policy when we wanted it?".

 

[GymMom22107]

The gym I go to is right next to the dance studio, they kind of work together in a sense. I think if they had a problem with my daughter dancing there they would definitely let me know. I can see where the moms may be upset their daughter may feel bad because my daughter is so young but can do what they can do. I certainly would not want my daughter being there to hurt anyone's feelings. I do wish they had a class of girls her age that were at her level. I honestly would much rather her be in a class that is her own age. Right now she is only on pre-team and she really enjoys the acro class but if it becomes pointless I will switch her. She also takes ballet. I guess maybe I should look at it more positively, maybe they were giving me strange looks because they were just confused as to why she was there but they did seem to be more hostile than confused but I suppose it's impossible for me to know exactly what they were thinking. I guess I should just try and not let it bother me.

 

[Quadqueen]

I agree that a gymnast taking an acro class is a bit pointless. And while I don't know how they're teaching your daughter, dance schools in general aren't the best about teaching proper technique, and they often don't have adequate matting, etc. However, I have seen many dancers improving their tumbling through classes at our gym. Also, I agree with Wallflower in that they may not even been talking about you or your daughter.

 

[Gymmommy71]

What types of things are they doing in the acro class at the dance studio that she isn't doing in her pre-team gymnastics class?