WAG Discussion of abuse in USAG - Nassar

[duyetanh]

We’ll have to agree to disagree.

Guy is scum. Going to rot in jail (finally). Many adults didn’t do the right thing. This is what we/you do to make sure you are safe/protected.

More then enough info out there. No need to watch.

I know. But my daughter is in this sport, and because of that, I do feel it is very important I watch. I do understand why people arent comfortable watching though.

 

[merritt]

From a reliable source, apparently there is an interested buyer.

I’m glad to hear this. Hopefully Geddert will be 100% out of the picture.

 

[LGnyc]

Confirming that you all saw that USAG said they will not ask McKayla to pay the fine on breaking her NDA and she should be free to testify.

I also watched an excellent segment on MSNBC on the Aziz Ansari drama and the commentators there bemoaned the fact the Ansari kerfuffle is getting so much buzz but Nassar has not. They were distraught about it. It's the first time I've seen that kind of commentary in a major news source and I was grateful even for just the one recognition of how underwhelming and inadequate coverage has been.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

I hope every word of testimony given by each girl is seared into Larry Nassars mind forever. I hope their words haunt him, keep him up at night, echo over and over in his head. He doesn’t deserve a single moments peace from what he’s done.

No, he is only upset he was caught, he is depressed only because his driving force in life has been taken away... forgiveness means nothing to him....

He is showing some emotion for whomever this speaker is.

see above reply

 

[strawberries]

These stories, the scope, the numbers...

Words don’t exist to describe the horror.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

No, he is only upset he was caught, he is depressed only because his driving force in life has been taken away... forgiveness means nothing to him....

see above reply

Yep and what keeps him up at night is never seeing the outside world again, so he can keep on doing what he was doing. And fear of his turn being the victim in prison or being off-ed. Either is fine with me. And I prefer the both.

 

[mommyof1]

Question for parents: Do your kids know about this? How did you decide whether to tell them? How old, and are they involved with the camp system?

As far as I know my kid is not aware of this case, although she recently got web access so it's probably only a matter of time. We have talked with her about other, more local scandals that have broken with teachers and sports coaches, and we talk about safety precautions fairly frequently, but somehow I just can't bring myself to tell her about this one. She gets very upset by this type of thing and I think the information would be more traumatic than useful to her at this point. She is 11 and has no involvement with TOPS/HOPES/etc.

 

[tucktwisttumble]

No, he is only upset he was caught, he is depressed only because his driving force in life has been taken away... forgiveness means nothing to him....

see above reply

I agree whole-heatedly. It was just the first time I really saw him with any emotion on camera. And It made me wonder what the speaker was saying (because she wished to remain anonymous the audio was cut)

 

[tucktwisttumble]

Question for parents: Do your kids know about this? How did you decide whether to tell them? How old, and are they involved with the camp system?

As far as I know my kid is not aware of this case, although she recently got web access so it's probably only a matter of time. We have talked with her about other, more local scandals that have broken with teachers and sports coaches, and we talk about safety precautions fairly frequently, but somehow I just can't bring myself to tell her about this one. She gets very upset by this type of thing and I think the information would be more traumatic than useful to her at this point. She is 11 and has no involvement with TOPS/HOPES/etc.

@mommyof1 I think talking in age-appropriate jargon is a must. If you don't think she can handle specifics, don't mention them. But reinforcing that her body is hers and only hers, she is allowed to say no to adults/ positions of authority if what they are saying/doing makes her uncomfortable.. etc.
You mentioned she just got web access and it is a matter of time before she reads/hears about this, encourage her that if there is ever something she sees online that she doesn't understand or is curious about - tell her its okay to talk to you about it - and reinforce those lines of communication with her.

 

[duyetanh]

No, he is only upset he was caught, he is depressed only because his driving force in life has been taken away... forgiveness means nothing to him....

see above reply

Agreed. This x 1000.

 

[LGnyc]

Question for parents: Do your kids know about this? How did you decide whether to tell them? How old, and are they involved with the camp system?

As far as I know my kid is not aware of this case, although she recently got web access so it's probably only a matter of time. We have talked with her about other, more local scandals that have broken with teachers and sports coaches, and we talk about safety precautions fairly frequently, but somehow I just can't bring myself to tell her about this one. She gets very upset by this type of thing and I think the information would be more traumatic than useful to her at this point. She is 11 and has no involvement with TOPS/HOPES/etc.

My dd, also 11 and not involved with TOPs, is aware of it. I'm not quite sure the level of detail, but she knows a trusted USAG doctor assaulted more than a hundred girls.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Question for parents: Do your kids know about this? How did you decide whether to tell them? How old, and are they involved with the camp system?

Yes she knows. She is 12.

We have been speaking about this kind of stuff age appropriately since she was little. personal boundaries, honor the ick factor, no secrets, tell, tell, tell.

No, she is nowhere close to the camp system. But when someone has a system in place that denies access to children, it is a huge red flag for me.

 

[merritt]

Question for parents: Do your kids know about this? How did you decide whether to tell them? How old, and are they involved with the camp system?

As far as I know my kid is not aware of this case, although she recently got web access so it's probably only a matter of time. We have talked with her about other, more local scandals that have broken with teachers and sports coaches, and we talk about safety precautions fairly frequently, but somehow I just can't bring myself to tell her about this one. She gets very upset by this type of thing and I think the information would be more traumatic than useful to her at this point. She is 11 and has no involvement with TOPS/HOPES/etc.

My gymnast D is 9; my older, non-gymnast D is 14. We have talked about it with them openly, and at an age-appropriate level. My non-gymnast D participates in other sports, so it is relevant to both of them (of course, abuse is an important topic to speak with your children about no matter their activities, but since both children spend time with coaches when we are not present, I feel it is especially important).

I’ve told my daughters from a very young age that it is not okay for anyone to touch them in a way that makes them uncomfortable, no matter who the person is - teachers, doctors, coaches, friends, etc. Their bodies are their own, and they always have the right to say no.

It is also not okay for people to speak to them in a disrespectful way. That includes children as well as adults. I would not allow my children to be coached by people who yell at them, criticize them in a non-constructive manner, or make them feel bad about themselves. Verbal abuse can be just as damaging as physical or sexual abuse.

 

[cftmoonlight]

I have no reason to doubt you, so please don't think I am. How do you know it's for sale? Is there a sign out front "For sale by owner"? It's not like there is a zillow.com for gyms. Again, not being snarky. Just curious.

It's for sale. The coach who wants to buy it has talked about it to some.

 

[amiandjim]

Mine is 8 and is aware. I experienced abuse from a family member at age 5-8 and have been very open with both of my children about that as well Bc I will do EVERYTHING in my power to not have them haunted by demons the way I am.

 

[Gymmommy71]

Has anyone on here’s gym made a statement to parents about all of this? I’m starting to feel it’s odd how our gym just seems to be ignoring it all like it isn’t even happening. They always post about/send out stuff when the US team wins worlds, etc. - or just talking about nationals and NCAA championships, but this, they are completely silent. I can see not wanting to broadcast it on their marketing web sites, etc. for new customers, but I think sending some type of statement out that they are going to protect our kids from predators and how would be appropriate.

Their silence is starting to disappoint me and just demonstrates exactly why this problem was able to go on for so long. No one wants to talk about this stuff or admit it happens cause they don’t want it to hurt the popularity of the sport :/.

 

[NutterButter]

Question for parents: Do your kids know about this? How did you decide whether to tell them? How old, and are they involved with the camp system?

Both of my kids know. It's been the topic of a few family conversations. My DD is only 2 degrees of separation from it so it's made this a little more real than it might have otherwise been. My DD is not elite (she will be lucky if she gets to L10) but the gym community is small. My 12 year old son shocked me this morning by asking if he could watch a statement later. I had it on as he was leaving for school and he was very curious and watched until he absolutely had to leave for school w/o being late. I will probably put it on tomorrow morning and let him watch with me. Sexual abuse is part of my past. I've never hid this from my kids but they don't know many details. I'm 15+ years further in my recovery than many of the young women speaking out but some aspect of each of their statements rings true for me. In my case, the abuse tore my family apart and my kids to some extent deal with the aftermath of it but they don't fully understand the why.

 

[TumbleTimes4]

I heard Maggie Nichols’ mother’s testimony was amazing. Is there a link to be able to listen to hers?

 

[mommyof1]

Has anyone on here’s gym made a statement to parents about all of this? I’m starting to feel it’s odd how our gym just seems to be ignoring it all like it isn’t even happening. They always post about/send out stuff when the US team wins worlds, etc. - or just talking about nationals and NCAA championships, but this, they are completely silent. I can see not wanting to broadcast it on their marketing web sites, etc. for new customers, but I think sending some type of statement out that they are going to protect our kids from predators and how would be appropriate.

Their silence is starting to disappoint me and just demonstrates exactly why this problem was able to go on for so long. No one wants to talk about this stuff or admit it happens cause they don’t want it to hurt the popularity of the sport :/.

Our gym has said absolutely nothing. Very disappointing. I am assuming they must have some sort of policies in place to comply with the SafeSport requirements, so outlining those for parents seems like an easy thing to do. The physical setup of the gym does give me some confidence--there is no way an adult could get a child alone anywhere but the restroom.

 

[SMH]

This is a very interesting article that details how the perfect environment for abuse was set up and enabled by those around Nassar.

http://www.espn.com/espn/otl/story/...ssar-surrounded-enablers-abused-athletes-espn