WAG E-mails from parents

[gymisforeveryone]

I have recently got several e-mails from my rec, preteam and team parents. I have never time to talk to the parents because I always have many classes one after another so it's great that parents send me e-mails. I just want to tell you parents that as a coach I really like it when parents let me know if there is something that worries them. It's so much easier when you just ask the coach! I always make my best to use my time answering respectfully and I usually send back long and very thorough answers. That way I can choose my words correctly and without hurrying.

Sometimes the e-mails I get are about parents wondering if their child is behaving well or if they are at right group or team. Sometimes they are about little things like what kind of leotard would fit best at practices or if they are allowed to use sweatpants during warm up. Sometimes they ask about something their child has told about practice... Sometimes they have something not that nice to say but I appreciate that too, because I want to hear that feedback directly from parents, not from anywhere else. That way the problems are usually fixed in no time.

Don't be afraid to ask your child's coach! And when you ask, remember that if you are respectful, the coach will more likely be too.

 

[Pineapple_Lump]

I don't think kids doing recreational gymnastics should have the coaches email. If they have questions/complements or complaints they can direct the to the Owner/HC/program manager etc..

 

[wallflower]

As a rec coach wouldn't you like to be able to address small issues without having every rec kid run to the owner or head coach? Espeically at a very large gym. The owner won't have any knowledge of your child specifically. I think it's great that you do that gymisforeveryone!

 

[gymisforeveryone]

Actually it would be very silly to make the parents e-mail or call the director every time. She has hands full of work and doesn't know my gymnasts. In my club there is maybe 6 or 7 different place where rec kids practice and almost 500 gymnasts so you can only imagine if they all were e-mailing about little things to the director who never meets the kids.

 

[Pineapple_Lump]

Well, my experience is that generally younger/less experienced coaches are teaching the bulk of recreational gymnasts. These coaches are generally paid for their time actually coaching at the gym, I have yet to hear of these coaches being paid to answer numerous emails (I do know some are paid to wait in the lobby between classes to communicate). Plus you also have the odd crazy parent who can potentially harass you, these types need to be dealt with by by someone with authority in the gym (don't want a he/she said).

By going through a more senior member of the gym they can filter what the coaches need to know and follow up. Also young coaches may not be fully aware of club policy and practice and give out incorrect information. Usually recreational students attend 1 hour -2 hours once a week. Essentially if you have 500 rec students the answers are going to be the same, when you have 500 they are basically a number, you don't treat them like that, but they are a number and they all ask the same questions.

I do not want parents criticizing or complaining to our junior coaches in person. I want them to speak to myself or the owner and we can speak with the coach if they have made an error or caution them for future. Most of the time the parent/child has misinterpreted the situation.

If people are emailing about little things then you need to asses why this is happening to the point where you a spending your own time dealing with these people. Is your club providing all the basic information? Are the classes meeting the needs of the students? Do you have an award/progression system so their is some feedback to parents about their child's progress.

I just don't see how they can be so I am not against a parent speaking with a coach to ask how they are going so long as the timing is appropriate for the coach/gym timetable. Generally we make an effort to speak to the parent if we have something positive to say and we will certainly make them aware of any issues. We make sure that parents can speak with coaches before/after class and/or keep an eye on the child in question.

Generally we don't get many questions as we provide the information upfront and make an effort to communicate when we can. We also rotate which coach ticks kids off on the roll each week. It is a great way for them to learn the names of all the children and speak with 'their' gymnasts/parents.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

I don't think kids doing recreational gymnastics should have the coaches email. If they have questions/complements or complaints they can direct the to the Owner/HC/program manager etc..

everything should go thru the owner and head coach and then on to staff. this is protocol. Pinapple Lump is absolutely correct.

 

[gwenmom]

I have recently got several e-mails from my rec, preteam and team parents. I have never time to talk to the parents because I always have many classes one after another so it's great that parents send me e-mails. I just want to tell you parents that as a coach I really like it when parents let me know if there is something that worries them. It's so much easier when you just ask the coach! I always make my best to use my time answering respectfully and I usually send back long and very thorough answers. That way I can choose my words correctly and without hurrying.

Sometimes the e-mails I get are about parents wondering if their child is behaving well or if they are at right group or team. Sometimes they are about little things like what kind of leotard would fit best at practices or if they are allowed to use sweatpants during warm up. Sometimes they ask about something their child has told about practice... Sometimes they have something not that nice to say but I appreciate that too, because I want to hear that feedback directly from parents, not from anywhere else. That way the problems are usually fixed in no time.

Don't be afraid to ask your child's coach! And when you ask, remember that if you are respectful, the coach will more likely be too.

Thank you for this. We have a small gym and our HC is also the owner/director of the gym. I often feel bad bugging her because I know in addition to all the time she spends at the gym she has two teenagers of her own. I am a bit of a control freak and a new mom to team so I know I have those 30 million annoying questions because I have no previous experience to go off of. I do try and ask the other team moms, but sometimes I need the coach's input. I have taken to emailing her in these situations, because I know she can either get back to me verbally when she sees me or in email if that is more convienent for her.

 

[JBS]

everything should go thru the owner and head coach and then on to staff. this is protocol. Pinapple Lump is absolutely correct.

This is a great thread...love it. Yes...communication is key. Yes...it must go through the proper channels. Yes...you must tell your client base and staff what those channels are.

Typically confusion sets in from staff...not parents...using the wrong channel or answering a question that they do not have the correct answer for. A properly trained staff will forward the question immediately to the correct location.

 

[coachmolly]

everything should go thru the owner and head coach and then on to staff. this is protocol. Pinapple Lump is absolutely correct.

I feel like that contact person is going to be different depending on the program. Some larger clubs with huge class programs have a person overseeing "just" the rec programs to report to instead of nagging a team HC/owner who has no idea a particular 3 year old even attends the gym- which sounds like might be the situation gymisforeveryone is in (though I could be totally wrong). In the case of younger/less experienced rec coaches, I would much rather have that information being directed towards a program director rather than going directly to their e-mail.
Regardless, I do think it is the responsibility of the gym to provide information for the correct contact person either on registration paperwork, class handout, or website because parent feedback is absolutely important, regardless of child's level. I think I get much more worried if I have not heard a thing from any of the parents.

 

[mommyof1]

In the case of younger/less experienced rec coaches, I would much rather have that information being directed towards a program director rather than going directly to their e-mail.

As a parent, I would worry that if a coach cannot be trusted to answer even the most basic of questions (e.g., is Suzy behaving herself during class?), then she has no business coaching my kid without supervision.

 

[coachmolly]

As a parent, I would worry that if a coach cannot be trusted to answer even the most basic of questions (e.g., is Suzy behaving herself during class?), then she has no business coaching my kid without supervision.

Sorry, I think I was a bit unclear. I think it's absolutely fine to ask questions to a coach, regardless of level, before or after practices. I just think e-mail is a bit of a different thing as people tend to be much more willing to say things they would never say in person. There is also the added risk of a coach, particularly a younger/less experienced one, misinterpreting the tone of the e-mail. And I'm not talking about things like "Is my child behaving okay in class?" Or "She's been frustrated with her cartwheels, how are they coming along?" But the more confrontational matters.

 

[gymisforeveryone]

Thanks for your comments!

I want to clarify that gymnastics world is not similar everywhere in the world. It's not build and ran like in US in here. We don't have those gym owners because the local town owns all the sports centers and clubs are renting them. Gymnastics and every other children's activities are organized by sports clubs and the coaches are not usually paid at all. Almost everyone is volunteering or partly volunteering. Only in big cities there may be clubs who pay for the coaches. Nowadays I live in a city like that and I'm paid a little. There is also three full time coaches who coach those athletes who compete on national elite squad. They don't coach others. There is also one person who I will call a director and she is working only half time. She isn't coaching right now. She works in an office and takes care about billing, renting the gymnastics places, organizing camps, testing, competitions and that kind of stuff. I ask her if I don't know something. Sometimes I tell the parents to call her if I think I'm not the right person to answer. But it makes her job much easier that coaches take care of their own groups in the first place. I know some coaches don't care and they don't answers e-mails but there is a lot more complaining then.

As a coach I am required to inform my gymnast by e-mail about any changes etc. It's my job as a coach. We would never ask to be paid for waiting in lobby or using own phone calling to parents or something like that. Usually coaches are former gymnasts and they appreciate a lot the time and commitment their own coaches made for them and they want to do that for the children too. If they didn't they would work in supermarket or something like that. This is how we were raised. As a nation we do A LOT volunteering and fundraising and it's so normal here.

I'm sorry made this post to encourage the parents to ask. It seems that in US (and in some other countries too) the protocol is so different that this kind of advice should not be given

 

[JBS]

I'm sorry made this post to encourage the parents to ask. It seems that in US (and in some other countries too) the protocol is so different that this kind of advice should not be given

This is an excellent thread...thank you very much for starting it. This is what this website is all about...learning. It is very interesting to see how different countries have gymnastics and sports set up.

Parent/coach communication must happen. How it happens doesn't really matter. It's up to each club/country/coach/owner to figure out how they are going to address the issue of communication.

Once again...thank you for a great thread. This website was created to encourage everyone to "ask" and "share".

 

[coachmolly]

This is an excellent thread...thank you very much for starting it. This is what this website is all about...learning. It is very interesting to see how different countries have gymnastics and sports set up.

Parent/coach communication must happen. How it happens doesn't really matter. It's up to each club/country/coach/owner to figure out how they are going to address the issue of communication.

Once again...thank you for a great thread. This website was created to encourage everyone to "ask" and "share".

I agree, it's a great thread. I too encourage parents to contact me with any questions, concerns, or just to ask about how their child is behaving or progressing in the gym.I usually attempt to talk to parents before/after class about their child to show them that I am willing to communicate with them. Like I said before, I get much more concerned if a parent never contacts me in any way!
I think in the US there are some more liability concerns than elsewhere and also a bit more of the "pushy parent" problem than there is in European countries, making communicating with coaches- especially younger/less experienced ones- a little bit more of an issue. Gym owners don't want rec parents reaming out teen coaches over why their Suzy isn't kipping at 4 years old without their knowledge of it. So I can see where the American coaches in this thread are coming from as well.
But I appreciate you encouraging parents to be open with the coaches about their child and any concerns, it only helps make the coach and program better. And if there is something going on with the child outside of the gym, how can the coach help work through/around it if they have no clue?
I've had experiences where a child with a developmental disability (Autism spectrum, etc.) has been in my class and the parent has not bothered to let me know about their child's situation before hand- what really bothers them, what to avoid, what to do and not to do- which makes my job so much more complicated because not only am I coaching, I'm also trying to figure out how to best accommodate their child (don't get me wrong, I love coaching children with Autism/Asperger's/developmental delays, it's just nice to have a heads up!). So I very much understand and appreciate your encouragement to parents to ask away!

 

[gymisforeveryone]

Thank you!

Coachmolly, that's exactly how I feel too. I want to hear about children's special needs, their background etc. I also want the parents send me a message if their child is not coming to class or if their child has been sick or if he/she has to leave early or anything like that. I believe in communication. Usually all the problems are due the lack of communication, in every area of life.

I also coach preteam and team gymnasts and with them I'm stricter. I want the parents to send me an e-mail every time a child is not coming to practice and explain why. I always let them know if child is misbehaving or acting up or if I think that a child seems to be tired or sad at practices. I also let them know how they are progressing.

And as I said, it's impossible for me to have a chat with parents before or after practice because there is always another class starting exactly the same time the earlier class ends. I can't take children's practice time by chatting with parents! So it's easier for everyone to use e-mail. And as you said, coachmolly, parents are not that pushy and crazy here. Usually they are very encouraging and they give me a lot nice feedback about how their child likes her class and enjoys my coaching I love hearing that, but I also like to hear when they worry about something.

 

[mommyof1]

I think in the US there are some more liability concerns than elsewhere and also a bit more of the "pushy parent" problem than there is in European countries, making communicating with coaches- especially younger/less experienced ones- a little bit more of an issue.

Liability concerns should not inhibit parent-coach communication--if anything, these concerns should motivate better communication. When something goes wrong, customers/clients who feel respected and have access to information are less likely to sue than those who do not feel respected and cannot get the information they want. There is research supporting this proposition in the area of medical malpractice litigation.

(Coachmolly, please don't think I am attacking your statements here--just trying to highlight the parent perspective on a couple of your points. I would love it if my kid's coaches communicated the way you do!)

 

[coachmolly]

Liability concerns should not inhibit parent-coach communication--if anything, these concerns should motivate better communication. When something goes wrong, customers/clients who feel respected and have access to information are less likely to sue than those who do not feel respected and cannot get the information they want. There is research supporting this proposition in the area of medical malpractice litigation.

(Coachmolly, please don't think I am attacking your statements here--just trying to highlight the parent perspective on a couple of your points. I would love it if my kid's coaches communicated the way you do!)

I was speaking of liability in terms of teen coaches, actually. A parent comes in and speaks strongly to a teen coach, teen coach gets feelings hurt and reports to own parents they are being bullied by parents and a big fuss ensues. It would just be better to take the complaint to the HC/owner who could pass it along to young coach in a more tactful way. Of course, crazy gym parents aren't known to follow the rules . And also liability in a not so legal sense, but more of a business sense. Parent asks rec coach why kiddo isn't doing bhs yet, rec coach says it's because she's not ready, and parent raises a big stink, pulling their child from the gym and telling others how terrible the coach is. And I can see why a HC/owner wouldn't want that hanging over the head of a younger coach, particularly one they would like to stick around for any length of time!

 

[Deleted member D3987]

Liability concerns should not inhibit parent-coach communication--if anything, these concerns should motivate better communication. When something goes wrong, customers/clients who feel respected and have access to information are less likely to sue than those who do not feel respected and cannot get the information they want. There is research supporting this proposition in the area of medical malpractice litigation.

(Coachmolly, please don't think I am attacking your statements here--just trying to highlight the parent perspective on a couple of your points. I would love it if my kid's coaches communicated the way you do!)

gymnastics lawsuits are a completely different beast than med mal litigation. no comparison or similarity at all. that research and proposition does not live here in the gymnastics world. that's all on that topic.

 

[mommyof1]

gymnastics lawsuits are a completely different beast than med mal litigation. no comparison or similarity at all. that research and proposition does not live here in the gymnastics world. that's all on that topic.

Ah, but isn't there at least some similarity in the power/knowledge imbalance, as well as in the communication issues, as illustrated by this and many other discussions on this site?

 

[RileyG]

everything should go thru the owner and head coach and then on to staff. this is protocol. Pinapple Lump is absolutely correct.

Any issues or problems go to the head coach team manager first with our team girls. The rec classes go to the owner with any issues.
i know this only because i have one in team and one in rec