Parents Fear issues

[gymdog]

A trend I love!

Every year my AP science class is full of kids who are taking 3-5 AP classes. Last year, I had a child who would break down in tears about three times a month because she had a schedule full of AP classes, played school soccer, travel soccer, was student council blah blah, FFA officer, in pageant, and it just went on and on.

This year about a third of my kids opted out of taking the AP exams because according to them, colleges don't even look at weighted GPA. So they use the class as an orientation to college level classes rather than to replace credits.

I personally think the over committed kid actually is less prepared for college than the focused kid. I'll certainly be guiding my little one into top classes (honors) but not demanding AP. Especially if she continues training this sport at her current level or higher.

They don't look at the weighted GPA because all the schools weight them differently. They do look at class rank though, which is affected by weight.

How much that matters depends on the college you're trying to get into.

Also personally I would have hated to do enough work to get a good grade and the go to college with no credit to show for it, so that's a factor to consider.

It IS very important to colleges that students show that they took advantage of a rigorous course schedule offered at their high school. I suppose that isn't really affected by whether or not they actually take the exam. In the school system I went to high school in, you're required to take the corresponding AP/IB exam, though.

 

[profmom]

If you're taking AP credits to college with you, use them to get out of general education stuff, but please don't use them to skip introductory courses in your major or minor. Even a 5 on an AP exam doesn't mean you've mastered the content as it would be taught at the college level, particularly in the social sciences and humanities.

 

[beamer]

From what I have seen over the years, nice and encouraging -- with a little soupcon of "ignoring" -- work much better, particularly with fear issues, than pushing.

 

[gymgymgymnast08]

My college is "snobby" so it wouldn't take the majority of my AP credits but at the one school that I applied to I would have came in as a second semester Sophomore because of AP credits! I would take every AP credit you can get because all the classes that I have taken for Gen Eds were exactly like the AP class that I already took!

 

[gymdog]

Yeah, I was in an IB high school anyway which has more limited credit opportunities in most universities, but it wouldn't have been possible to even remotely make a dent in most majors at my university with IB/AP credits. History would have required an area of speciality and I didn't think AP has anything at most schools other than US history or Government. For most people I know who came in with a lot if AP credit , it didn't really make a difference because it wasn't specialized enough for anything. I graduated early, but it was because I took a ton of credits every semester. The IB credit I had didn't really make a difference.

 

[mom2three]

Is there anything you can do as a parent for a gymnast with fear issues? DD seemed to be making slower progress than was originally speculated and we had a meeting with coaches who dropped the bombshell that she's being badly held back by fear issues. She's 11 and looking at potentially doing a few meets at 5 in the fall and finishing out as a 6 in the spring (when she's 12). IF she's lucky and doesn't end up repeating 4. She has made zero progress on her vault in a year and a half. She's been given the opportunity to do a BHS on high beam and balks. She won't do cast handstands on strap bar. I've always tried to do the drop off, have a good practice, love you goodnight like everyone talks about here, but that hasn't worked so well. They "said" she has potential and is still on track to possibly do college gym, but I don't believe so anymore. I wish she would just quit, as this is a TON of time, effort, and money that we don't really have.

This is probably not helpful at all, but here's our story At 10 DD developed major fear issues that a year and a half later, she really couldn't overcome. She was on xcel gold, which helped some because she could change skills around according to her fear of the week. But after a while, she just didn't really seem to want to go anymore, she'd ask to skip practice that day. Where not long before that she used to wish she could go 7 days a week. I'd ask if she wanted to take a break or quit and she'd say no, she just wanted to skip that day. I think she'd been doing it for so long, she was afraid to quit. I told her that it was perfectly fine to quit or take some time off, explore other sports. So she did quit a few months ago and is happier. Has no intention of going back. So far...

 

[Rapunzel]

Just dipping into this thread as dd1 fear issues are taking hold. Good to hear experiences of coming through the other side, whether the other side is gymnastics or not.

 

[Becauseisaid]

There's no magic bullet, and, while coaches and parents can try to provide kids with tools to manage fear, ultimately it is the child her/himself who has to do it.

This is it exactly. At the end of the day, the child has to decide they want the skill more than they fear it. Some never get to that point. Some just take a while.

My DD has had a fear of jumping to the high bar for about a year now. Not an issue while she competed L3, but definitely a problem if she wanted to move to L4. There was no reason for her fear; her brain just engaged one day and she suddenly realized she could be hurt.

Her coach finally sat her down and asked DD what they could do to move her past this. So I had DD sit down and write exactly what she was afraid of. Even if it sounded silly. Then I had her write down ways to work through the fear. (Really big mat under the bar, count to 3 and then go, eyes on the high bar the whole time, etc.) She also had to make up her own consequence for balking. (For DD, it was 20 V-ups) I also made DD write down the steps to doing the skill. They had to be specific - point toes, body position, etc.). I did this so that DD would KNOW she knew how to do the skill properly. She gave the paper to her coach during a private. Within the first 30 minutes, DD was jumping to the high bar without a spot. We're now a week in and she's still jumping.

BUT...SHE wanted to do it.

 

[ladybird]

This is it exactly. At the end of the day, the child has to decide they want the skill more than they fear it. Some never get to that point. Some just take a while.

My DD has had a fear of jumping to the high bar for about a year now. Not an issue while she competed L3, but definitely a problem if she wanted to move to L4. There was no reason for her fear; her brain just engaged one day and she suddenly realized she could be hurt.

Her coach finally sat her down and asked DD what they could do to move her past this. So I had DD sit down and write exactly what she was afraid of. Even if it sounded silly. Then I had her write down ways to work through the fear. (Really big mat under the bar, count to 3 and then go, eyes on the high bar the whole time, etc.) She also had to make up her own consequence for balking. (For DD, it was 20 V-ups) I also made DD write down the steps to doing the skill. They had to be specific - point toes, body position, etc.). I did this so that DD would KNOW she knew how to do the skill properly. She gave the paper to her coach during a private. Within the first 30 minutes, DD was jumping to the high bar without a spot. We're now a week in and she's still jumping.

BUT...SHE wanted to do it.

I am convinced we have the same kid

 

[Becauseisaid]

I truly believe it is harder for intelligent kids with really good imaginations. No slight on other kids - that's not a commentary on their intelligence level - but I think kids with a good imagination unfortunately can picture the "what-ifs" better than others. That leads to fear because their imagination is running wild.

 

[sce]

I truly believe it is harder for intelligent kids with really good imaginations. No slight on other kids - that's not a commentary on their intelligence level - but I think kids with a good imagination unfortunately can picture the "what-ifs" better than others. That leads to fear because their imagination is running wild.

This yes, my ds is dealing with this.

 

[cbifoja]

Hmmm.....I don't see fear as a matter of intelligence. Some kids are just fearless. Some fearless kids are really smart and some are just average and some are probably a little dumb. I'm not discounting your opinion. I'm just basing mine on my own life experiences and I've known brave kids all over the intelligence spectrum.

And I'm not just saying this because I've got a fearless one of average intelligence.

 

[Kcanflip]

I get the impression that the coaches are more nice and encouraging. I asked for her to be pushed a little more, but they basically said they can't push her anymore.

Nice and encouraging is a good thing, but they also need to know when to push. My daughter was acting terrified of the cartwheel even on low beam, and I went in last week and she was doing them on high beam. I asked the coach what she did to get that result, and she said she just told her she was going to do them on the high beam. That being said, she knew she could do them as she had been landing them on low beam just fine. So it was an appropriate push. And my kid is one who needs someone to push her that way. And she responds well to it! But each kid is different. And had I been the one to push her...ha! It would have been a different outcome completely. So I am *trying* hard to be nonchalant about it all. Hopefully it will just happen for yours in similar fashion...just one day it won't be such a big deal to her anymore and she'll just tackle it!

 

[Becauseisaid]

Hmmm.....I don't see fear as a matter of intelligence. Some kids are just fearless.

Oh no no no! It's not the intelligence so much as it is the imagination. Toss in some smarts and they know and can imagine way more than is good for them.