Anon Fear vs Mental Block (and coaching it)

[Anonymous (506c)]

DD (training L5) has been working on her beam BWO, but is scared to move it to the high beam. When she goes for it, she does it very solidly on the low and medium beams. She says she’s not scared of it per se, but that her body just won’t go. Her beam coach has put a lot of direct pressure on her to do it, which DD hates. The coach would also never stand close or spot her and threatened to keep her at L4. This coach just got moved to coach optionals and at her last practice with DD’s group DD ended up crying because she was scared to move it to the high beam and wasn’t allowed to work on anything else. Now this week the new beam coach started. First practice DD did it on the low beam once and then asked to do it on low beam again and the new coach said “No, you did it once on low beam, you need to move it up.” DD tried to advocate for herself and tell the coach that she does better when she can work at her own pace, but the coach said no. DD was told the only thing she was allowed to work on was the BWO on the medium beam so she spent the rest of the rotation crying. DD hates crying in front of anyone and has never cried at practice before these two recent practices. She also is neurodivergent and her particular neurotype has a tendency to react to demands with a “flight or fight” type response. She has dealt with minor fears on a few skills before (with different coaches) and she was allowed to go at her own pace with support from the coach and once she got them they were never a problem again. I understand she needs the BWO for L5, but we still have three months before our first competition so it seems like they could back off the pressure a bit. Then again, I’m not a coach. Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you!

 

[Gymnast2009]

Some coaches may think of this as too much work for something that they know your kid can do safely but mine always encouraged stacking up 8 inchers all the way up to the high beam and remove one mat every time you stick three of that skill with the mat stack. It feels different because her body isn’t used to being that high up in the air doing the skill. My coaches used to say it was because the air feels Different up there. Sometimes, if they knew it was going to be a hard skill to move to the high beam and almost everyone was training it, ex. Back handspring for L6 or platinum, they would just train it straight from there with the mat removing progressions, not as quickly obviously since you are learning it, but it got us used to doing the skill high up there. It gives a mentality where it doesn’t feel as high when you remove mats. Again some coaches might not want to do this but it worked.

 

[GymAir]

I would look very hard at moving gyms, because this is not a healthy way to deal with fears/blocks at all. And FWIW I would say the same thing for a neurotypical kid. That has nothing to do with it. Pressuring a kid with a block is huge red flag.

 

[Anonymous (65f4)]

Mental Blocks are tough...and while every person reacts differently, force/pushing are not going to make it go away. They will just make it worse. My daughter had a mental block that started on a BWO on beam that spread to all backwards tumbling for over a year...but her coaches were AWESOME. They worked within her comfort zone, she competed a year of gold and they modified routines that removed any back tumbling. by the end of last year she was able to but her back tumbling back in, and now she has her confidence back and its amazing.

My daughter is also on the spectrum, and does not react well to pushing OR praise, so it was a challenge.

While you might not be the coach, you are her parent. I would ask for a private meeting with her coaches and the head coach and ask about their approach and plans. If you are not comfortable with their answers, I would not leave your daughter in that environment.

 

[Anonymous (506c)]

Some coaches may think of this as too much work for something that they know your kid can do safely but mine always encouraged stacking up 8 inchers all the way up to the high beam and remove one mat every time you stick three of that skill with the mat stack. It feels different because her body isn’t used to being that high up in the air doing the skill. My coaches used to say it was because the air feels Different up there. Sometimes, if they knew it was going to be a hard skill to move to the high beam and almost everyone was training it, ex. Back handspring for L6 or platinum, they would just train it straight from there with the mat removing progressions, not as quickly obviously since you are learning it, but it got us used to doing the skill high up there. It gives a mentality where it doesn’t feel as high when you remove mats. Again some coaches might not want to do this but it worked.

Thank you! She had done this before in a private with her favorite coach at the gym and liked it, but her regular coaches don’t usually allow it. She actually had a private with her favorite coach today and they did just this. The coach let her go at her own pace and in 10-15 minutes DD had removed all the mats. The coach took a video of her doing it on the high beam so she can keep that picture of herself in her head. I hope she can carry it over to her regular practices!

 

[Anonymous (506c)]

I would look very hard at moving gyms, because this is not a healthy way to deal with fears/blocks at all. And FWIW I would say the same thing for a neurotypical kid. That has nothing to do with it. Pressuring a kid with a block is huge red flag.

I agree. This doesn’t feel like healthy pressure. I’ve actually been contemplating a gym change for about a year now mostly due to the fact that our second year L4s were not up trained last summer or last competition season and the coach-to-gymnast ratio is too high (imo). However, if DD can get through L5 in one year, then for L6/7 she should be back with her favorite coach who really understands her and works well with her. DD had a private with favorite coach today and was able to do the BWO on high beam by gradually removing mats as suggested above. Favorite coach offered to talk to new coach to urge her to let DD work at her own pace. Fingers crossed!

 

[Anonymous (506c)]

Mental Blocks are tough...and while every person reacts differently, force/pushing are not going to make it go away. They will just make it worse. My daughter had a mental block that started on a BWO on beam that spread to all backwards tumbling for over a year...but her coaches were AWESOME. They worked within her comfort zone, she competed a year of gold and they modified routines that removed any back tumbling. by the end of last year she was able to but her back tumbling back in, and now she has her confidence back and its amazing.

My daughter is also on the spectrum, and does not react well to pushing OR praise, so it was a challenge.

While you might not be the coach, you are her parent. I would ask for a private meeting with her coaches and the head coach and ask about their approach and plans. If you are not comfortable with their answers, I would not leave your daughter in that environment.

Thank you for sharing your experience! I’m glad your daughter is doing well. DD had a private with her favorite coach today (who coaches 6/7) and she was able to do the BWO on the high beam by removing mats as suggested above. Favorite coach offered to talk to new coach and urge her to let DD go at her own pace. I’m hoping that helps. Otherwise, I will definitely talk to the coaches myself. I’m worried that if she’s pushed too much on this skill that the fear will spread to other skills like what you mentioned happened with your DD. I’m hopeful a few privates with favorite coach will get her over the hump.

 

[Anonymous (9751)]

That's awful. I feel horrible for your daughter, I know they are coaches and not their parents but at the end of the day these are kids and still need to be nurtured within reason.
When my daughter got her cartwheel on beam and was sticking it the majority of the time on low beam, the coach stood next to her when she took it to the high beam. Even when she was sticking it, if she asked for a spot because she was feeling wobbly that day, they'd come and rarely actually spot her but in her head they were there and that was enough. Even with her BHS on floor, when she told me she has is by herself, two weeks later I caught the end of practice and she was being spotted doing one. I asked the coach if she'd lost it and she said no but she wants me there as in her mind I am helping her when I actually barely touch her. I truly believe this is what made her confident with these skills quicker than if she'd just been left.

 

[Anonymous (506c)]

That's awful. I feel horrible for your daughter, I know they are coaches and not their parents but at the end of the day these are kids and still need to be nurtured within reason.
When my daughter got her cartwheel on beam and was sticking it the majority of the time on low beam, the coach stood next to her when she took it to the high beam. Even when she was sticking it, if she asked for a spot because she was feeling wobbly that day, they'd come and rarely actually spot her but in her head they were there and that was enough. Even with her BHS on floor, when she told me she has is by herself, two weeks later I caught the end of practice and she was being spotted doing one. I asked the coach if she'd lost it and she said no but she wants me there as in her mind I am helping her when I actually barely touch her. I truly believe this is what made her confident with these skills quicker than if she'd just been left.

Thank you! Her gym doesn’t really spot on beam or floor so that’s been a little difficult. I know there can be a fine line with spotting between building confidence and building reliance, but I just wish they’d recognize the line is different for every kid and give her a little more support.

 

[Anonymous (ffbe)]

Thank you! Her gym doesn’t really spot on beam or floor so that’s been a little difficult. I know there can be a fine line with spotting between building confidence and building reliance, but I just wish they’d recognize the line is different for every kid and give her a little more support.

How did she score in Level 4? If she got 2 36s, then TECHNICALLY, she is allowed to skip Level 5 and go to Level 6 according to the new USAG rules

 

[Anonymous (506c)]

How did she score in Level 4? If she got 2 36s, then TECHNICALLY, she is allowed to skip Level 5 and go to Level 6 according to the new USAG rules

Thanks! Yes, she did score 2 36s in Level 4, but her gym requires everyone to compete a full year of Level 5 and they require some skills for Level 6 (beyond USAG requirements) that she doesn’t have yet like beam BHS, KCH to layout flyaway, and the Yurchenko timer. I know there is another local gym that would likely let her do Level 6 though if we decide to make a change.

 

[Anonymous (8f99)]

DD's fear of moving her beam routine to the high beam is understandable, especially given her neurodivergent nature and her previous positive experiences of progressing at her own pace. While it's crucial to achieve the BWO for L5, the new coach should consider DD's needs and emotions. Finding a balance between pushing for progress and providing support is essential. A supportive and comfortable training environment, along with clear communication between DD, her parents, and the coach, can help ensure a positive and successful training journey.

 

[Anonymous (957f)]

I'm glad to hear your DD was able to perform the BWO on beam with a different coach. It's completely normal that kids are wary of going backwards on an elevated 4-inch piece of wood (LOL). My kid is at L5 too, and she has just started doing her BHS on the high beam. Once she got her RHBHSBT solid, the going backwards fears started fading away, but she did the same progression (low beam, med beam with mats, high beam with mats).

Our gym firmly believes in allowing girls to work through fears and mental blocks at their own pace, and constantly tells parents NOT to pressure or coach our kids because it'll make it worse. The owner of our sister gym who has coached elite gymnasts has sent out links to parents and coaches referring us to Coach Rebecca Smith's Perform Happy podcasts. She has some recent podcasts on dealing with mental blocks that may help.

 

[GymnastPotterhead]

DD's fear of moving her beam routine to the high beam is understandable, especially given her neurodivergent nature and her previous positive experiences of progressing at her own pace. While it's crucial to achieve the BWO for L5, the new coach should consider DD's needs and emotions. Finding a balance between pushing for progress and providing support is essential. A supportive and comfortable training environment, along with clear communication between DD, her parents, and the coach, can help ensure a positive and successful training journey.

Sorry I don't want to disregard you/the post but that language sounds very AI like haha

 

[Anonymous (1bc8)]

Thank you! Her gym doesn’t really spot on beam or floor so that’s been a little difficult. I know there can be a fine line with spotting between building confidence and building reliance, but I just wish they’d recognize the line is different for every kid and give her a little more support.

Her gym "doesn't really spot?!?"
Yikes!

 

[Anonymous (b8e8)]

DD (training L5) has been working on her beam BWO, but is scared to move it to the high beam. When she goes for it, she does it very solidly on the low and medium beams. She says she’s not scared of it per se, but that her body just won’t go. Her beam coach has put a lot of direct pressure on her to do it, which DD hates. The coach would also never stand close or spot her and threatened to keep her at L4. This coach just got moved to coach optionals and at her last practice with DD’s group DD ended up crying because she was scared to move it to the high beam and wasn’t allowed to work on anything else. Now this week the new beam coach started. First practice DD did it on the low beam once and then asked to do it on low beam again and the new coach said “No, you did it once on low beam, you need to move it up.” DD tried to advocate for herself and tell the coach that she does better when she can work at her own pace, but the coach said no. DD was told the only thing she was allowed to work on was the BWO on the medium beam so she spent the rest of the rotation crying. DD hates crying in front of anyone and has never cried at practice before these two recent practices. She also is neurodivergent and her particular neurotype has a tendency to react to demands with a “flight or fight” type response. She has dealt with minor fears on a few skills before (with different coaches) and she was allowed to go at her own pace with support from the coach and once she got them they were never a problem again. I understand she needs the BWO for L5, but we still have three months before our first competition so it seems like they could back off the pressure a bit. Then again, I’m not a coach. Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you!

The coaching style of these coaches that are working with your child are based off of fear, lack of trust and understanding, as well as lazy. There are so many options and ideas to help gymnasts work through a mental block or fear that do not involve threats, fear mongering, or an incredible lack of empathy. As a coach and as someone who works with children, trust and empathy is such an integral part of working through such issues and it's glaringly obvious that the coaches do not prioritize those values whatsoever. The fact that they seem to have no response or willingness to help a child clearly in distress and in need of help is disappointing to say the least.

I would highly recommend a new coach, or even a new gym. A gym that doesn't value the mental health of an athlete or the time it takes to build up an athlete properly is not a gym that will create a positive environment or a positive relationship with the sport for your child (or even a positive relationship with themselves). It's clear that she has success with working at her own pace and it's a shame these coaches refuse to listen to her.

 

[estamey21]

I would highly recommend a new coach, or even a new gym. A gym that doesn't value the mental health of an athlete or the time it takes to build up an athlete properly is not a gym that will create a positive environment or a positive relationship with the sport for your child (or even a positive relationship with themselves). It's clear that she has success with working at her own pace and it's a shame these coaches refuse to listen to her.

I second this. Mental blocks are extremely common in gymnastics and there are many strategies for coaching students with mental blocks. Yes, berating and threatening an athlete is one such strategy. For some students, this strategy might produce the desired outcome in the short term—but most of the time it makes matters worse.

We are lucky to be living in an era where the emotional abuse of athletes is being called into question. Lots of scientific research suggests that positive reinforcement and incremental desensitization to fears is more effective than throwing people into the deep end and telling them to "suck it up."

An emotionally empowered gymnast without a back walkover is in a much better position that an emotionally bruised gymnast with a back walkover.


References:

• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exposure_therapy
• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapy