Parents Frustrated that DD *STILL* doesn't have her level yet!

[Trixiebelle]

Title say is all! DD's coach still has not notified them of the levels they will compete this season! She is debating USAIGC "Silver" or Level 7... I understand part of the rationale is she wants to give the girls the most time possible to nail the skills before making a decision, but I must admit my non-professional opinion wishes she'd just do it earlier!

And the frustrating part is, when asked, she cryptically replies "soon..."

I know I'm not a coach and a gym owner, but as a paying customer, I have to gripe that it feels like we are being kept in the dark here.

For the record, DD loves her gym, team mates and coaches. And for the most part, so do I, it just grates on my type "A" personality not to have things hammered out for so long.

Anyone else go through this?

 

[2gymmies]

I feel your pain! Our gym has not absolutely decided Levels yet either for optionals. My dd is hopefully doing 8 but has one iffy skill, so they haven't absolutely decided. Its driving me crazy and I think its putting pressure on her. It has to be soon because our first meet is mid december and they are putting together routines, but who knows.

Do you know when your first meet is? Does she have her routines and will just put in different tumbling or skills depending on level? Hang in there!

 

[Deleted member D3987]

you're not being kept in the dark. when they know they'll let you know. parents need to get off the "what level is my daughter competing". it's annoying and it really has nothing to do with anything.

 

[B&M's mom]

You aren't alone. My DD changed gyms this spring so everything there is new to us. She loves her new gym but no one, including the coach knows what level she's competing this winter. How do I know-I asked. If she gets her skills she may move up either at the beginning of the season or during it. If not, she'll compete her old level. I'll know by the first meet.

They also haven't completed her routines though according to DD, they are close. From what she's said it seems like they are the next level up though I've been wrong about that before! (Clearly, I was never a gymnast and really don't remember the difference between back rolls and back somersaults. I just nod along when my DD tells me what she worked on-paks, shushinovas (?), back tucks... the list of things I don't know what I'm watching/hearing about is endless.)

After getting talking to the coach, I figured that they must know what they are doing so I'm going to try and stop worrying about it. My DD is fine with whatever happens. She's just enjoying all the new skills. Since this is her sport, I'm trying to be less Type A (hard!) and roll with with whatever happens.

 

[sleeping judy]

My post got eaten!

We don't know dd's level yet and the first meet is in a month. It is frustrating for a couple of reasons. 1) we have already had to pay all of our fees and the next level is significantly more money. I know we would get a credit/refund later, but if she is not going to compete the next level I would rather have that money now.

2) Dd has her heart set on competing the next level and I would like to be able to talk her down if she doesn't move up.

3) Dd hasn't even practiced the routines of the old level in months. I would hope she would have time to practice the routines and more than a couple weeks.

Other than that, I don't care what level she competes, but it is frustrating not knowing this close to the meet season.

 

[cher062]

lol welcome to the wonderful world of parents of kids in gymnastics. For us its always been like this. Even now the coaches haven't said what levels to any of the girls or parents and we were supposed to have a meet this past weekend for the lower levels that I think got snowed out with the blizzard and all the power outages we had around here. But right up to friday night parents were asking "so is she competing L4 or L5" It made a difference as to what time and day they were going to be at the gym. I'm hoping that they got e-mails at least. My DD has her first meet on the 12th and we still haven't been told L7 or L8. I am assuming L7 as she doesn't have the beam connection as good as she would like it needs some work, but you never know what the coaches will do. I hope they tell us soon as it makes a difference from being there at 8am or 6pm

 

[Trixiebelle]

Thanks all for sharing! It does make me feel better knowing this is pretty common! And actually it is less about the actual level - and more about planning. Ds is a wrestler and weekends are starting to fill up. And according to the meet schedule, our first meet was to be nov 20th. Considering dd has yet to hear her floor music in its entirety it seems very unlikely she will be competing.

 

[Trixiebelle]

you're not being kept in the dark. when they know they'll let you know. parents need to get off the "what level is my daughter competing". it's annoying and it really has nothing to do with anything.

I respectfully disagree. It does have a lot to do with a lot of things. While I'm not questionning the coaches assessment of my child's skill be it 5 6 or 7, it makes a difference in the hours we commit to the sport, the cost associated and as I mentioned above, scheduling concerns. Speaking only for myself, I would rather have a coach say that in order for a gymnast to be at a certain level, they need x, y and z by a certain date.

I do realize that the vagueness is a nature of the sport, however, it isn't as simple as saying levels don't matter. I respect dd's coach tremendously and I know she does what she does in the best interest of the gymnast, but please don't dismiss the frustration parents feel as unwarranted - there are many reasons why we like to know what the season may hold for our child.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

I respectfully disagree. It does have a lot to do with a lot of things. While I'm not questionning the coaches assessment of my child's skill be it 5 6 or 7, it makes a difference in the hours we commit to the sport, the cost associated and as I mentioned above, scheduling concerns. Speaking only for myself, I would rather have a coach say that in order for a gymnast to be at a certain level, they need x, y and z by a certain date.

I do realize that the vagueness is a nature of the sport, however, it isn't as simple as saying levels don't matter. I respect dd's coach tremendously and I know she does what she does in the best interest of the gymnast, but please don't dismiss the frustration parents feel as unwarranted - there are many reasons why we like to know what the season may hold for our child.

and i respectfully submit that you don't get it.

 

[Pickle's Mom]

I don’t really have a problem with not knowing the level this time of year. What makes me crazy is when they don’t decide the training groups for the summer until early-June. Sorry, Dunno, it might not matter what level my child is in, but it definitely matters what day I need childcare and rides and who I can carpool with.

She’s in an L5/6 training group this year, and we really didn’t know if she was going 5 or 6 until just before the first meet. But that didn’t bother me. She hadn’t successfully landed her back tuck on floor until the week before. If her coach had to make a decision earlier, she probably would have had her repeat, which would have been okay, but not what Pickle wanted.

Now, she’s definitely an L6. She told me that she spent so long telling herself that she might not move up that now she has to convince herself that she did. But, she still didn’t land her back tuck in her first meet.

 

[gymjourneymom]

[/B]
and i respectfully submit that you don't get it.

I agree with you Dunno. Why does it matter to the parents??? I AM a parent that has been at this a few years. I don't know what my level is competing yet either. And you know what...it makes no difference to me what level she does end up being. I know her coaches are trying to give her as much time as possibe to place her in the correct level. I'm glad her coaches care enough about her as an individual to find the proper placement for her. They are going to place her where she will have a successful & yet challenging competition season. I give them credit for taking their time to decide & not jumping to any hasty decisions. Her 1st meet isn't until mid-Dec & we all now that amount of time can mean some big changes in a gymnast.

Not trying to insult the other parents, but from someone who has been through this before & is going through it again I recommend just chillin' & let the coach & your DD do their thing.

 

[sleeping judy]

I think several of us have given very valid reasons as to why it matters. Scheduling and financial are right up there for me. I have two other children and I have so many things to coordinate. My ds has been in multiple sports for years and just recently tried out for travel baseball. He made the team, but they are going to divide the boys into an A and a B team at some point. They decided to let the boys practice together until the season starts to see which team the boys will play for to give the boys more of a chance to make the A team. I don't care if my ds makes the A or the B time, but if there were a scheduling difference or a financial difference it would annoy me.

 

[cher062]

I don't care what level but when the meets are around the corner it would be nice to know so we know which session to show up for.
I also wish they would give us info earlire - it's hard to plan the rest of the family schedule but I know that is how it is when you have a gymnast.

 

[gymjourneymom]

I think several of us have given very valid reasons as to why it matters. Scheduling and financial are right up there for me. I have two other children and I have so many things to coordinate. My ds has been in multiple sports for years and just recently tried out for travel baseball. He made the team, but they are going to divide the boys into an A and a B team at some point. They decided to let the boys practice together until the season starts to see which team the boys will play for to give the boys more of a chance to make the A team. I don't care if my ds makes the A or the B time, but if there were a scheduling difference or a financial difference it would annoy me.

I also have other children involved in other activities & I work outside the home...weekends that I have trouble getting off from work. I'm proud to say I've never missed one of my DD's meets ever, in 7yrs. And a few times I didn't know what level she was going to compete until just a couple of weeks before the 1st meet. We all survived & she's had wonderful fufilling competition seasons. She loves this sport & I trust her coaches. Yes, I've had to do lots of rescheduling & some fancy foot work. But it always works out in the end. I'm just saying...from experience...it's not worth stressing over.

If anyone has that much of an issue with their child's coach keeping them out of the loop, then maybe they have their child at the wrong gym. I really don't think the coaches do this just to "annoy" people. Just sayin' they are probably trying to buy the kid some time to get skills to move up. That way the kid will be in the best level placement for the entire season. Some kids make TREMENDOUS progress under the pressure of a meet coming up & may be ready to go to the next level, some not. Some would be best served doing another year of their current level. I give a coach credit who give the child a chance to move up if & WHEN they are ready.

Also, we never find out our meet session until a couple of weeks before a meet anyway...no matter what level they are competeing. So I ALWAYS have to scramble to find work coverage last minute no matter what level she is.

If the finances of a certain level are that big of a problem to the family, they maybe the child is in the wrong sport for that family. I'm guessing the higher level cost more. The goal for a gymnast is to progress. So if you can't afford the next level best to just have her quit now then. JMHO.

Good luck! Hope you find out soon!

 

[sleeping judy]

I was only responding to this question that you asked

Why does it matter to the parents???

I know lots of people are busy and have multiple children in activities...and work...and volunteer...and have other family obligations...I get it. I do it too. I just assume anyone with kids is busy. I was just pointing out reasons why not knowing when my child will practice or compete or the annual costs involved until the week prior could be frustrating. Does it stress me out? No, not really. One of my kids has a serious medical condition so I don't tend to sweat the small stuff. Do I think the coach is doing it intentionally? No. Does it mean I don't trust that the coaches? No. It is just frustrating for me for the reasons I specified and anything more than that is just putting words in my mouth. I think this is an odd thread

 

[gymjourneymom]

Just trying to share what I've learned from past experience. I have been there & done that a few times. I really do understand the situation fully. And from dealing with this on both sides(having her move up one year & then repeat the next). I've learned that as a parent, it really doesn't matter what level my DD competes. It's more important that the coach & the gymnast get the placement right. But hey...don't listen to me. You guys need to know right now, right???

So tell the coach to make a decision today. But don't complain that the child is "bored repeating a level" or "not scoring well at meets b/c they were moved up before they were ready".

Also, scheduling & finances shouldn't be a deciding factor for parent for level deterimination. If they are then you'd better be having a talk with the coach ASAP, you've got BIGGER decisions to make as a family. If you can't afford for your kid to move up, what are you going to do when the coach tells you he's decided your kid IS going to the next level??? Maybe you need to just tell him NOW you can't afford it, so she NEEDS to repeat for financial reasons.

We are in agreement though, because I think this is an odd thread too.

Hey I hope we ALL find out really soon what level our DD's are competing because apparently I'm suppose to be really frustrated, LOL!

 

[AlwaysCuriousMom]

If the finances of a certain level are that big of a problem to the family, they maybe the child is in the wrong sport for that family. I'm guessing the higher level cost more. The goal for a gymnast is to progress. So if you can't afford the next level best to just have her quit now then. JMHO.Good luck! Hope you find out soon!

I feel compelled to respond to this comment. For myself, and other gym moms that I know, gymnastics is something our DD's chose. DDs at some point were interested in learning gymnastics and was lucky enough to make it to preteam/compulsories/optionals. If anyone told me three years ago that I would be spending this much time and money on gymnastics for one child, I would have laughed. But gymnastics is something that just "happened" to us, and we see it as a gift to have a child so passionate about something. We make sacrifices to make it happen. Trust me, if I could have chosen, I would have chosen a sport that was cheaper, and played closer to the ground.

 

[veganmami]

I’m slightly annoyed by the response of some coaches on this post.

I work in a hospital and have to deal with patient family members asking about how their loved one is progressing and this sometimes involves questioning my thinking as it pertains to their family. This is their RIGHT. I am working directly with their family and they have every right to question my methods. And while I might think that what they are asking is silly, it is not my right to question. If I do not like this, I have every opportunity to find a new job.

You can apply this same situation to coaching. While I do not know much about gymnastics, it is my right to question and for you to patiently respond. I will be respectful as possible, but please remember, you are instructing my child. If you do not like this, I’m sure there are plenty of other fields for you to work in that you will not be “annoyed” by being questioned. Perhaps you should try judging.

 

[gymjourneymom]

I feel compelled to respond to this comment. For myself, and other gym moms that I know, gymnastics is something our DD's chose. DDs at some point were interested in learning gymnastics and was lucky enough to make it to preteam/compulsories/optionals. If anyone told me three years ago that I would be spending this much time and money on gymnastics for one child, I would have laughed. But gymnastics is something that just "happened" to us, and we see it as a gift to have a child so passionate about something. We make sacrifices to make it happen. Trust me, if I could have chosen, I would have chosen a sport that was cheaper, and played closer to the ground.

I totally agree with you. You are making my point VERY clearly! If your kid is going to do this sport & you are supportive of it, why does a parent "need" to know the level the gymnast is going to compete before the coach is ready to make that determination??? It's obvious the gymnast & coach are still working to find the BEST placement...please just be patient. I doubt anyone is trying to keep any major secrets from you! They honestly just want to give your kid time to make it to that next level. They are trying to HELP your child by giving them a chance to move up!!! Let the coach & the child do what they need to do.

I don't understand why the "financial aspect" or "scheduling aspect" would have anything to do with parents needing to have level determination done by a "specific date"? What I'm saying is, that if a child is between 2 levels & the parents need to know right now "for financial reasons" or "scheduling reasons" then maybe this sport isn't for that family. If one of the options is such a hardship, then how will they EVER be able to move forward in this sport?

Just as an example: If the coach were to tell a L6 parent(who has been waiting for a level determination) tomorrow, "Your child is moving to L7 next week". Well, obviously the parent knows tonight the child is in between L6 & L7. So neither level determination should be a HUGE shock. If you can't afford L7 or can't make the meets the optionals have scheduled you know that now...tonight. What would your plans be? We will find a why to make it work for either level or if she's moving up we can't make it work??? If you are going to find a way to make it work either way...then it shouldn't matter to the parents what level she competes. That's what I'm trying to say. Just wait & be prepared for either decision.

I'm like you, I have ALWAYS found a way to make it work for my DD & I'm not saying that it's been easy. But we find a way to make it work no matter what. That's why I don't care that I don't know what level my DD is going to compete. I will make it work no matter what level she does.

This is why I really don't understand this thread? If the parents aren't going to be able to find a way to make it work NO MATTER WHAT LEVEL the child competes. Then what is the point of having your child in this sport?

It shouldn't matter to the parents what level the child is going to compete. Either let it go & let the coach do their job or pin the coach down to a decision, but then don't complain about that decision later. I'm willing to bet you will find out the level in plenty of time before the 1st meet anyway. And no matter level the child competes...the meet sessions aren't determined until a couple of weeks prior to the meet anyway. So unless the 1st meet is this weekend or next, I don't see a problem with letting the gymnast & the coach keep plugging along & doing their thing. When they've decided on the proper level placement, I'm sure you will be the 1st to know. JMHO.

The OP asked it anyone else has been in her situation regarding level determination. I'm a seasoned gym mom who's been through this more than a few times before. I've tried to share what I've learned through some rather difficult times. But now I'm just about ready to stop posting on CB...this place sure has changed. People used to appreciate advice from parents who had been there & done that. Now I feel like I'm just wasting my time trying to share what I've learned over the years. Good luck to you all! Hope your kids have a great season no matter what level they end up competing.

 

[Pickle's Mom]

I totally agree with you. You are making my point VERY clearly! If your kid is going to do this sport & you are supportive of it, why does a parent "need" to know the level the gymnast is going to compete before the coach is ready to make that determination??? It's obvious the gymnast & coach are still working to find the BEST placement...please just be patient. I doubt anyone is trying to keep any major secrets from you! They honestly just want to give your kid time to make it to that next level. They are trying to HELP your child by giving them a chance to move up!!! Let the coach & the child do what they need to do.

I don't understand why the "financial aspect" or "scheduling aspect" would have anything to do with parents needing to have level determination done by a "specific date"? What I'm saying is, that if a child is between 2 levels & the parents need to know right now "for financial reasons" or "scheduling reasons" then maybe this sport isn't for that family. If one of the options is such a hardship, then how will they EVER be able to move forward in this sport?

Just as an example: If the coach were to tell a L6 parent(who has been waiting for a level determination) tomorrow, "Your child is moving to L7 next week". Well, obviously the parent knows tonight the child is in between L6 & L7. So neither level determination should be a HUGE shock. If you can't afford L7 or can't make the meets the optionals have scheduled you know that now...tonight. What would your plans be? We will find a why to make it work for either level or if she's moving up we can't make it work??? If you are going to find a way to make it work either way...then it shouldn't matter to the parents what level she competes. That's what I'm trying to say. Just wait & be prepared for either decision.

I'm like you, I have ALWAYS found a way to make it work for my DD & I'm not saying that it's been easy. But we find a way to make it work no matter what. That's why I don't care that I don't know what level my DD is going to compete. I will make it work no matter what level she does.

This is why I really don't understand this thread? If the parents aren't going to be able to find a way to make it work NO MATTER WHAT LEVEL the child competes. Then what is the point of having your child in this sport?

It shouldn't matter to the parents what level the child is going to compete. Either let it go & let the coach do their job or pin the coach down to a decision, but then don't complain about that decision later. I'm willing to bet you will find out the level in plenty of time before the 1st meet anyway. And no matter level the child competes...the meet sessions aren't determined until a couple of weeks prior to the meet anyway. So unless the 1st meet is this weekend or next, I don't see a problem with letting the gymnast & the coach keep plugging along & doing their thing. When they've decided on the proper level placement, I'm sure you will be the 1st to know. JMHO.

The OP asked it anyone else has been in her situation regarding level determination. I'm a seasoned gym mom who's been through this more than a few times before. I've tried to share what I've learned through some rather difficult times. But now I'm just about ready to stop posting on CB...this place sure has changed. People used to appreciate advice from parents who had been there & done that. Now I feel like I'm just wasting my time trying to share what I've learned over the years. Good luck to you all! Hope your kids have a great season no matter what level they end up competing.

I don’t know where this came from but it really upset me. I haven’t been on Chalkbucket as long as you have, but I did lurk for a long time before I became a member. And I clearly remember what compelled me to finally register and write my first post. I was concerned because it was early June and I still didn’t know what our summer hours would be. The only thing I did know is that Pickle would have daytime practices for the first time, and I wasn’t sure how it would work with a 2-career family. People gave me advice (car pool, find a team mate’s mom to do childcare, it all works out), and it was good advice but it wasn’t anything that I hadn’t already thought of. What was more important to me was that they commiserated. People said “yes, this is hard.” And that acknowledgement made me feel better.

I’m so glad no one said to me “perhaps if you are so concerned about work, your child just shouldn’t do gymnastics.” I have a job that I love and I’m good at. But I don’t want my kids to lose out on an opportunity for something they love and they are good at because of it.

I didn’t see anyone on this post say (as you implied they did) that “the coaches do this just to ‘annoy’ people...” Instead, pretty much every poster acknowledged that the coaches are trying to make the best determination of level for the gymnast. HOWEVER, it is difficult not to know. Particularly if there are potential scheduling or financial plans that need to be made.

I love Pickle’s gym. But they aren’t perfect. This year her level didn’t matter to me because I knew she would be on a 5/6 team and the workout hours, meet schedule, and cost would be the same regardless of whether she moved up or repeated. But, in previous years that wasn’t the case and it was very, very difficult for our family. Why does it bother you so much that people feel that way?