Parents Getting back on the bars again ...

[Gymmom82773]

My 12 year old daughter (L9) had been put off/on with 2 hand surgeries in the past 6 months . Now she is all healed and training full force going into summer . She is doing well but getting frustrated about certain skills such as the series on beam and bars . Bars has always been challenging for her and with needing her hands so much it has become a mental thing . She is afraid her hands won't hold her up on handstands , pirouettes, anything upside down like that . She has always had some fear with leaning over the high bar upside down and I think she's using her hands as a way to rationalize it . As far as the series on beam , she keeps going crooked . She does it fine on the line on the floor , moves it to the beam and then goes crooked . Her coach has been very patient with her but is starting to get frustrated . She is dealing with a lot of mental issues and frustration . I keep just supporting her and listening .. I don't get overly involved and always have the feeling "this is her sport" . Some of the kids who she was ahead of are now past her with skills and that bothers her as well . Just wanted to see if anyone has any advice on helping her mentally believe that she will be ok and her body can do this . She's so talented but her confidence needs to come back . She doesn't compete until winter . Bars will definitely be the challenge especially with the surgeries she has had ....

 

[gracyomalley]

My only words of wisdom are that being 12 stinks, having to re-learn things they were once confident with, stinks, and watching others "pass you by" who haven't had the same challenges stinks - but this experience will make her a much stronger gymnast and person!

It will take time, and some things will come back faster than expected, others will take longer and some may simply never be quite the same - either due to mental issues related to her injury, or just time and body changes. The first thing she will need to do is realize that she's on "her" path, not that of her team mates, and that her path included healing and re-adjusting her gymnastics due to her injuries. It's a rare female gymnast that doesn't hit a "slow down" spot between 11-14, either due to injury, fear, vestibular, or just puberty and growth spurts, etc.

Are there older girls on the team who have made it through rough patches, lost skills, had to slow down, etc that she can use as role models? Its helpful when the kid struggling realizes that they aren't unique in their experience (although at 12 they think everything in the world is all about them - even the nicest kids).

As a parent, we simply have to step back, support, make sure they TRUELY understand why we want them doing gymnastics (in my DD case, letting her know that if she wanted college gym, fine but that I never really saw her doing that personality wise, that I love to watch her do gym and think she's a talented gymnast, but that she's also good at many other things, and what really matters is working hard, believing in herself, setting goals and trying to reach them, knowing you'll miss some, being a good team mate and respectful with the coaches AND respecting herself enough to try to work around things and speak up for herself when struggling, etc. Also pointing out that she missed gym when not there and that she enjoys the feeling of doing gymnastics, being strong, mastering new things, etc - even though she hates the feeling of being frightened, or "failing" her coaches, etc...)

Your DD is clearly more talented than mine, as a 12 year old L9 (mine was L8 at that age - then quit for a while), but right now her biggest lesson is patience with one's self! That, and doing something you love because you love it, no matter how "good" you are at it!

 

[Gymmom82773]

My only words of wisdom are that being 12 stinks, having to re-learn things they were once confident with, stinks, and watching others "pass you by" who haven't had the same challenges stinks - but this experience will make her a much stronger gymnast and person!

It will take time, and some things will come back faster than expected, others will take longer and some may simply never be quite the same - either due to mental issues related to her injury, or just time and body changes. The first thing she will need to do is realize that she's on "her" path, not that of her team mates, and that her path included healing and re-adjusting her gymnastics due to her injuries. It's a rare female gymnast that doesn't hit a "slow down" spot between 11-14, either due to injury, fear, vestibular, or just puberty and growth spurts, etc.

Are there older girls on the team who have made it through rough patches, lost skills, had to slow down, etc that she can use as role models? Its helpful when the kid struggling realizes that they aren't unique in their experience (although at 12 they think everything in the world is all about them - even the nicest kids).

As a parent, we simply have to step back, support, make sure they TRUELY understand why we want them doing gymnastics (in my DD case, letting her know that if she wanted college gym, fine but that I never really saw her doing that personality wise, that I love to watch her do gym and think she's a talented gymnast, but that she's also good at many other things, and what really matters is working hard, believing in herself, setting goals and trying to reach them, knowing you'll miss some, being a good team mate and respectful with the coaches AND respecting herself enough to try to work around things and speak up for herself when struggling, etc. Also pointing out that she missed gym when not there and that she enjoys the feeling of doing gymnastics, being strong, mastering new things, etc - even though she hates the feeling of being frightened, or "failing" her coaches, etc...)

Your DD is clearly more talented than mine, as a 12 year old L9 (mine was L8 at that age - then quit for a while), but right now her biggest lesson is patience with one's self! That, and doing something you love because you love it, no matter how "good" you are at it!

Thanks so much , all great advice . So true .. I just want her to be happy . She is not a natural born gymnast, she's more of a natural athlete that would excel at any sport . She's a great runner so track would be good . She by no means wants to quit as of now but I always tell her she can come to me anytime if she's done . She has an older teammate that had torn her ACL and is coming back now , this girl is a great inspiration for her . My DD is coming back fast on most things . Her coach just gets excited and starts really pushing her and sometimes that seems to backfire . Thanks agajn !!

 

[LizzieLac]

Mine, was ready for level 7 last and broke her tibia and fibula mislanding her tusk. It has been a long, HARD road back with pain and fears. She is still hanging in there and I tell her all I want is for her be happy doing this, but more importantly to be HEALTHY and pain-free. Her coaches are not always the best with fears and mental issues but they have been very good at "backing off" and lowering the stakes periodically when DD needed it. So I am hopeful that she is ready when the seasons starts. Good luck to your DD!

 

[rjb123]

What has helped my DD come back from her two broken bones is having an outside PT/trainer work with her. When it happened she lost a lot of her confidence and this got worse when she was finally cleared for activity. She had lost SO much strength and was just super depressed. Luckily she started working with a great trainer who helped her regain strength but also her confidence. He is an outside person who has no ties to the gym(but understands the sport very well) and she can dump her frustrations on. Its one thing to have your mom and dad cheer you on, but it was also awesome to have him tell her how much stronger she was getting, high five her, tell her she was an awesome athlete, etc. It pumped her up so that dealing with the "stuff" in the gym was easier. Instead of just feeling "behind" she viewed herself as "getting stronger every day". Good luck to your daughter- injuries stink!

 

[my4buffaloes]

Have you done PT to help with her arm and hand strength? It can really help - with range of motion as well as strength. Also, you can look up hand strengthening exercises online - simple things really that will help her get her strength back. I am sure her hands ARE weak after everything she has been through. It will take time.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

Time

 

[Gymmom82773]

Thanks everyone ! Yes , she is in PT to help strengthen her hands and wrists. I think it's just going to take time . She did giants today in bars so that is a start and she did overshoot drills .

 

[Deleted member D3987]

My 12 year old daughter (L9) had been put off/on with 2 hand surgeries in the past 6 months . Now she is all healed and training full force going into summer . She is doing well but getting frustrated about certain skills such as the series on beam and bars . Bars has always been challenging for her and with needing her hands so much it has become a mental thing . She is afraid her hands won't hold her up on handstands , pirouettes, anything upside down like that . She has always had some fear with leaning over the high bar upside down and I think she's using her hands as a way to rationalize it . As far as the series on beam , she keeps going crooked . She does it fine on the line on the floor , moves it to the beam and then goes crooked . Her coach has been very patient with her but is starting to get frustrated . She is dealing with a lot of mental issues and frustration . I keep just supporting her and listening .. I don't get overly involved and always have the feeling "this is her sport" . Some of the kids who she was ahead of are now past her with skills and that bothers her as well . Just wanted to see if anyone has any advice on helping her mentally believe that she will be ok and her body can do this . She's so talented but her confidence needs to come back . She doesn't compete until winter . Bars will definitely be the challenge especially with the surgeries she has had ....

tell her Dunno said she'll be fine.