Parents Good book recommendation?

[hannahsmom]

Are there any recommendations for a good book for parents about gymnastics and raising healthy (physically and emotionally) kids, keeping it fun for the kids, etc. I'm not looking for one about the technical aspects of gymnastics, just one that would cover how to handle all the ups and downs of gymnastics from little kids through all the levels. We had a very bad experience in my family when I was growing up with a very pushy uncle that pushed my cousin (a very good male gymnast) to the point where he felt like his only way out of gymnastics was drugs, so needless to say that has made me very touchy for my dd. I want to understand things like the difference between a child being frustrated and a child that wants to quit because they don't enjoy it, etc. Just left a meeting with the head coach (owner) and he had a lot of very good things to say, but since I'm a reader, I'd love to read a good book on this subject.

 

[MdGymMom01]

Here are some good books:

Amazon.com: Games Girls Play: Understanding and Guiding Young Female Athletes (9780312271268): Caroline Silby Ph.D., Shelley Smith: Books

Amazon.com: 101 Ways to Be a Terrific Sports Parent: Making Athletics a Positive Experience for Your Child: Joel Fish, Susan Magee: Books

Amazon.com: Parenting Young Athletes the Ripken Way: Ensuring the Best Experience for Your Kids in Any Sport (9781592402205): Cal Ripken, Rick Wolff: Books

Amazon.com: Good Sports: The Concerned Parent's Guide to Competitive Youth Sports (Art & Science of Coaching (Paperback)) (9781571670489): Sagamore, Rick Wolff: Books

I highly recommend Games Girls Play. It is written by a sports psychologist who was a competitive ice skater who has done extensive counseling work with olympic gymnasts and other athletes. A definite "Must Read"!!!!

I just googled "good sports parents" books and those came up. There are a ton more and I, like you, love to read as well. I'll post more if I come across any more.

 

[mariposa]

Great links MD!

I got and read these books and though they had extremes, they were interesting and an eye opener. Little Girls in Pretty Boxes, Chalked Up and Landing on my feet. I got them at half.com and they were really cheap.

And here is a good thread started by MD, lots of great info.
http://www.chalkbucket.com/forums/chalk-bucket/24105-keeping-real-fun-kids.html

 

[mariposa]

http://www.chalkbucket.com/forums/parent-forum/23112-doc-alis-top-10-parents-code-points.html

A great reference as well.

 

[hannahsmom]

Thanks for all the recommendations. I guess what I'm looking for, is a book specific to gymnastics and parenting that child through the ups and downs of gymnastics. Gymnastics is such a different sport with the pursuit of perfection at the root of it. I played softball and was pretty good, but even my best season, I might have batted .500, but that meant that 50% of the time, I was "wrong". Can you imagine being wrong 50% of the time in gymnastics? So, that's more of what I'm looking for. How do you help them through those times when they think they're "horrible" when really they just aren't "perfect" yet. I've never been a perfectionist and my daughter is, so I just want to help her through these different issues as they come up. According to my dd's HC, I'm not handling them correctly (haha) because I don't agree with him, so I just want to learn more about the psychology of gymnastics. I hope that makes sense......

 

[emorymom]

The book Mindset by Dweck is not about gymnastics but I do think it applies to gymnastics very easily. It's about how people with growth mindsets (if I work I will do better) will be happier and acheive more than if they had fixed mindsets (I am a good gymnast / am smart / etc) and that the way to develop a growth mindset in children is to avoid outcome comments and judgments in favor of allowing children to enjoy their acheivements with less judgment and comment more on the process (you worked hard on that and so you are improving).

It's from part of a body of research debunking the self-esteem movement, which was not based on research but on a hypothesis that is now being thoroughly disproven.

I try to tell my children that the goal of competition is not to win but to enjoy seeing one's improvement, that the muscles of the body, the nerves, the mind all respond to work by getting stronger, and that is why I have them do lessons, or bring them to swim team 2x a week even when they want to be lazy. Though I do not say the same about my daughter's gymnastics, as she rarely wants to skip anything, and one day when she hurt her hand and got freaked before practice and wanted to play dolls instead, I told her it was not fair to her team and she could go stretch for a few hours if that's all she could do. DD bends towards perfectionism, and I am glad that she is on a team that is still learning skills a few weeks before the first meet, that competes them a level higher than they would probably compete at other gyms, practices relatively few hours compared to other gyms, and generally works hard but is not all about winning. I feel fortunate that she can NOT start out doing well in meets, IYKWIM. Though I would have preferred ideally that she was not competing at age 6, but that's what this team does (level 2).

 

[mariposa]

Thanks for all the recommendations. I guess what I'm looking for, is a book specific to gymnastics and parenting that child through the ups and downs of gymnastics. Gymnastics is such a different sport with the pursuit of perfection at the root of it. I played softball and was pretty good, but even my best season, I might have batted .500, but that meant that 50% of the time, I was "wrong". Can you imagine being wrong 50% of the time in gymnastics? So, that's more of what I'm looking for. How do you help them through those times when they think they're "horrible" when really they just aren't "perfect" yet. I've never been a perfectionist and my daughter is, so I just want to help her through these different issues as they come up. According to my dd's HC, I'm not handling them correctly (haha) because I don't agree with him, so I just want to learn more about the psychology of gymnastics. I hope that makes sense......

I don't think that there is a book like that. Probably the books dealing with girls and sports would be good. Or maybe even a book on parenting a perfectionist child? The books I read definitely dealt with girls that were perfectionists and the strains that being an elite level gymnast had on them. Emorymom's book suggestion sounds interesting as well, I am going to have to check it out.

I have never thought about gymnastics being about perfection, at least at the level that most of our girls will be doing it. I never use perfect in the same sentence as gymnastics with my daughter. I don't think it is possible to achieve perfection in gymnastics. I just tell her to focus on working hard and doing the best she can and that is what she is working for, being the best gymnast SHE can be.

 

[hannahsmom]

I have never thought about gymnastics being about perfection, at least at the level that most of our girls will be doing it. I never use perfect in the same sentence as gymnastics with my daughter. I don't think it is possible to achieve perfection in gymnastics. I just tell her to focus on working hard and doing the best she can and that is what she is working for, being the best gymnast SHE can be.

Trust me, I don't think perfection is achievable, especially as you said, at this level. But it's the pursuit of perfection that pushes a lot of these girls and the coaches. My dd's coaches want them to be as close to "perfect" (I use that word loosely, the reason for the quotations) as they can get before they will let them move on to the next skill or the step in that skill. It drives me crazy, but it's what drives my daughter back to the gym each time.

 

[hannahsmom]

Thanks everyone. I ordered some off Amazon this morning, so I'll see what they are actually like when they get here.

 

[mariposa]

Let us know what you got and how you liked them!

 

[gymjourneymom]

As soon as I saw the name Joel Fish I had to click on that link! He was so kind & helpful to my DD! The producted discription of that book alone give some great sports parenting tips. Love that guy! And of course you know I love anything by Doc Ali & alot of her stuff is directly related to gymnastics. Good luck! Let us know which books are the most helpfu to you!

 

[Blackie6]

WOW, some nice selections/suggestions, may have to order myself something!