"gymnast leaving" spinoff

[eme777]

What if the problem is bigger? Everyone here is talking about "normal" gym issues (gymanst wants to work at a higher level, gymanst wants more attention for her lower level, family wants better communication, etc.). But what if a coach/owner at the old gym is aware of a larger problem? For example, what if the new gym has serious financial problems or if the athletes are known to use drugs?

A head coach at a gym near us killed commited suicide this year. It was devestating for the kids at the gym (and, of course, his family). A lot of people knew he was in trouble and were trying to help him. If you knew that the coach at the new gym had those types of problems, would you tell the parents of the the girl who was leaving?

I think Pickle's Mom is correct in focusing on the fact that it's a bigger problem. Too many responders are looking at this in the wrong way. What if the former gym has specific information that is not shared, and then something bad happens to your child at the new gym (relating to this information). Wouldn't you hold the former gym responsible? It's a judgement call, but if the information is given, it should be something serious & you need to have specifics.

Also, in response to Pickle's Mom, we are at the gym with the coach who committed suicide (I'm assuming it's the same gym, I hope that didn't happen at other gyms too). We had switched there, for financial reasons, just a couple of weeks before that happened. It was a very stressful time & I was definitely second guessing my decision at that point. I'm not sure that having that kind of information would have changed our decision, but the shock would definitely have been lessened!

 

[Linsul]

I would not try to talk a gymnast or her parents out of a move by speaking about/for the other gym. It's pointless because generally the new gym has promised the sun, moon, and stars and even if it's bait it's believable enough bait. Plus, if they go anyway and then spread what you said, not a good situation.

That's not to say the current gym is helpless. Knowing a gymnasts training history and habits plus having an established relationship with the family do go a long way. If you can't manage with that then it's probably a situation beyond saving.

Having said that, hopefully unhappy gymnasts or parents do take the problem solving approach before the leaving one. Many situations have a solution or a compromise. If they try that path without resolution though, you can't be bitter about them going. Whether it's policy or personal, if they try to fix it without results then leaving should be acknowledged as the solution without angst from any party.

 

[BlairBob]

If I knew another gym/coach was abusive, I would see about dropping subtle hints somehow or tell the parent in question.

Hopefully, such a parent would bother to first have a few talks with the coaches and owners in the first place. If they were doing this all behind your back (which is silly because we either pick up the tell-tale signs, hear from the kids and find out after the fact) I really wouldn't want them in my gym in the first place.

 

[Pickle's Mom]

Coaches -

If you had good reason to believe a young gymnast was leaving your gym for a gym with seriously dangerous practices, would you be willing to suggest another gym, that you think might make the gymnast happy but doesn't have the same problems?

 

[Geoffrey Taucer]

Coaches -

If you had good reason to believe a young gymnast was leaving your gym for a gym with seriously dangerous practices, would you be willing to suggest another gym, that you think might make the gymnast happy but doesn't have the same problems?

Yes, absolutely

 

[cher062]

I would hope that any adult that thought there were abusive practices going on anywhere would report them to the proper authorities. If your not confident enough to do that then I don't think anything should be said. I also think if something serious like what has been posted here has happened it would have been public information at some point. Any thing bad that happens with kids involved always hits at least the loacl papers.

Parents are the consumers and just like anything else they purchase I would hope they would be smart enough to do some due dilligence on what they choose.

 

[Obeg]

I would be very careful saying anything about a competitor that was not publically known to be 100% true - otherwise if it gets back that "Billy's Flying Gymees Gymnastics Center" was telling "everyone" that "Yang's Gymnast Robots Center" is mistreating kids - then their may be a lawsuit filed. Even if that lawsuit went no where - Billy would be forced to hire an attorney for defense and the money and publicity from that might be more than Billy can handle.

 

[MissBear]

Having the oppertunity to discuss this with parents before they leave would be rare at the gyms in my area.
If they did, I do not think I would bring up such an issue. I would always try to maintain that the gymnast was welcome to return, especially if I have personal doubts about the new program.

In an ideal world gym changes would only be for a different experience of the sport. Different programs offer more competitions a year, less hours, or have a focus on new skills, or are able to offer higher level coaching or oppertunity.
It is always difficult, but essential, to remember that different ways of doing things are not always wrong, but just different.

In short, I think the keys are communication with all parents, and not comprimising what your program is for a few parents.