Parents I feel like a bad dad (just sharing)

[NY Dad]

I’ve received (and appreciate) the consistent advice here to keep gymnastics in the gym and I’m sure that everyone’s personal/parenting/coaching experience is correct. It’s just hard to say no to my DD.

When DD wants to practice her skills at home I’m mostly steering her towards conditioning or working on splits & backbends (which is what her coach suggested) or a skill which I consider safe and she can do with no problems (like handstands). She asked me to record a front walkover (I didn’t know what she was talking about but I recorded anyway). I hadn’t realized at the time that this was something that she had never done before and she was never taught at the gym. She apparently surprised herself when she landed on her feet and she was super excited. She wanted to make sure she would be able to do it again. Then I told her she couldn’t try to do it again. I felt bad making her stop.

 

[GYM0M]

It's hard and yes, it sucks. But if you say no now, when she reaches higher levels, she will appreciate it because she's not spending entire 4 hour workouts trying to correct bad habits that are preventing her from moving further. And it's much less dangerous. It's great to see her passion though! Keep it up (at the gym)! [emoji846]

 

[flippingtogether]

OK, she is super super duper cute.....and yes, listen to the advice you will get from others on this. It will save you so much trouble in the future!

 

[MeetDirector]

NY Dad -

Hang in there and stand your ground - Gym only at the gym. Strength and stretching, including handstands, are suitable for home, but no acro. Trust me - it will pay dividends down the road and she can count on you to be "just dad" and not the "coach at home".

 

[GYM0M]

NY Dad -

Hang in there and stand your ground - Gym only at the gym. Strength and stretching, including handstands, are suitable for home, but no acro. Trust me - it will pay dividends down the road and she can count on you to be "just dad" and not the "coach at home".

My husband has been learning to do just this. We're not 'newbies' and this is a recent thing he is trying to do. Like it's still so new, that he confides in me that he still has to grit his teeth to keep from asking, "yeah, but did you win?" It's a learning process. He's getting there!! Lol!

 

[Iwannabemargo]

she is full of beans, an obviously enjoying herself, but also she needs to limit the amount of backbends she does.

Back injuries can happen very easily, life changing back injuries, there are many people here whose children have a lifetime of back pain from overuse/improper use of backbends, and that includes lots of backwalkover / front walkovers.

I don't want to be Debbie Downer, but please search here on spondylolisthesis.

 

[bogwoppit]

She is adorable. What a fun moment your shared, that is precious.

Now as the mom of an ex gymnast who had spinal fusion surgery to fix her broken vertebrae let me tell you why you are so wise to say "wow that is awesome, but lets not do walkovers at home.". My dd had a very enthusiastic coach who was amazed at my tiny kids ability to do walkovers on the beam. SO she got her to do 100's of them. Sometimes 50 in one half hour. Back pain followed for years, now 12 years, and serious surgery, later she still has back pain and I still regret every one of those walkovers.

 

[GymDad9.9]

Curious NY Dad, where did your daughter pick up this skill?

 

[skschlag]

How exciting for her

It is hard. for the longest time, D loved to do all kinds of stuff in the yard, on teh sidewalk, etc. He has gotten better and knows his limits now, but for years I had to place those limits on him. You may feel like a bad dad, but this is a good dad situation. You are going to have to say no a lot as she grows up, and you may feel bad about it, but I imagine it will be in her best interests. Good luck!

 

[LindyHopper]

She asked me to record a front walkover (I didn’t know what she was talking about but I recorded anyway). I hadn’t realized at the time that this was something that she had never done before and she was never taught at the gym

Next time this happens...

You: Before I record, what is a front walkover? Which coach taught you this skill? Have you done it in the gym without a spot? If so, how many times?

If it sounds like she's been safely doing it on her own for a while, and it doesn't sound like an acro skill, then consider recording. Otherwise...

You: that sounds like a really fun skill and I can see why you want to show me. But before we do it at home, let's talk to your coach at next practice and see if this is a skill that is allowed outside of the gym.

This way, you are letting her know that most gymnastics skills stay in the gym, and in talking with coach, you become a united front. It'seems easier to hear no gym outside of gym if coach echoes the sentiment.

 

[Sasha]

I'll echo everyone's sentiments, and add that your daughter is brand new and already doing front walkovers - clearly she has some athletic talent (and adorable). All the more reason to try to increase her longevity in the sport by setting firm rules for home. Though simply landing a walkover is impressive in a general athleticism way, a good coach will probably cringe at the execution from a gymnastics perspective, and also worry that because she hasn't yet had time (being new) to build the proper core muscles (and shoulder, etc) to do one properly, she is much more susceptible to injury. Even a naturally 'strong' child still needs time doing the proper conditioning to support these skills safely. That is one very big reason why coaches don't rush skills.

Keep up the mean dad work! Doing great!

 

[Faith]

Well done.

She is a lovely kid. However in the walkover her shoulders are behind- she is using her back to achieve the skill, not the flexibility in her shoulders.

Too many reps like that = the back injuries margo and bog describe. She needs to go back to bridges and learn how to work her shoulders.

I would change lindy's script slightly.

"Dad, will you record x skill"
"Why don't you wait till you get to gymnastics and ask if your coach will record you doing it properly".

 

[Faith]

And is it me, or are you scots?

In which case, wind yer heid in!

 

[sce]

You are not a bad dad. You have an enthusiastic little girl and are just beginning this crazy gym adventure. You'd be bad dad if you'd let her continue doing frontwalkovers and even more so started correcting them.

Tell her you are happy that she has found something she love so much. Let he know that you want her to be as successful as will be possible and for that to happen, she needs to leave most things to be taught by her coaches. She can play around at home with safe stuff and conditioning, following her coach's direction.

 

[NY Dad]

Thanks everyone for all the feedback. After reading the responses I feel much better about being Mean Dad. I had no idea of the back injury risk. Thank you for sharing your own personal experiences and knowledge. Hearing your stories will make it much easier for me to say no in the future. I was pretty sure she didn’t do it correctly and that it wasn’t safe but I didn’t know the specifics so I appreciate everyone educating me.

Curious NY Dad, where did your daughter pick up this skill?

– DD’s answer was that she had no idea. I know that in her old rec class they did occasionally watch other kids working on different skills. It could have been that or watching videos online. She seems to know the names of tons of skills that she can’t do. Based on the advice from LindyHopper when DD tries to explain something to me that I don’t understand I’ve asked her to show me with her dd (darling doll). She’s enjoys doing that.

After reading all these responses yesterday I called my DD when she was on her way to gymnastics. I told her that from now on we’re not going to do any skills at home unless her coach specifically told her it’s okay to practice at home. She asked at practice. Now if/when she asks me to do a skill I can ask her if the coach told her it was okay to practice at home. She told me last night that her coach said she can’t practice walkovers at home. It was great that she didn’t even ask me after that.

Mean Dad

 

[LindyHopper]

Good job, dad.