Coaches Late Pick Up

[gralch1]

So we had a team gymnast whose parent was an hour late picking up. We had her call and find out if they were on their way and she told us they were sleeping because they worked a 12 hour shift. Okay, we routinely work 12+ hours 6 or 7 days a week (granted it is our choice as gym owners and coaches) but, dang it, I am ready to go home when practice is over. Same gymnast was picked up a half hour late two days ago. Did I mention that they dropped her off two hours early today?
How do you handle the compulsively late picker uppers?

 

[Scarface]

So we had a team gymnast whose parent was an hour late picking up. We had her call and find out if they were on their way and she told us they were sleeping because they worked a 12 hour shift. Okay, we routinely work 12+ hours 6 or 7 days a week (granted it is our choice as gym owners and coaches) but, dang it, I am ready to go home when practice is over. Same gymnast was picked up a half hour late two days ago. Did I mention that they dropped her off two hours early today?
How do you handle the compulsively late picker uppers?

Charge for it. That is extended care. You are not a babysitting service. If you charge they will either arrive on time or you'll make some cash!

 

[gymgurl]

We have a $15 late fee for every half an hour parents are late and there are no classes in the gym. Luckily most classes end before the last class that ends at 8:30 (snr trickers/adult gym -ends 9:30) so unless a parent is over 2hrs late there normally isn't a problem for coaches to stay back as they just wait in the waiting area which can be seen from the gym.

 

[Aussie_coach]

Child care centre's in my state charge $1 per minute that parents are late.

 

[marie83]

Might be different in the US but we would report it to our welfare officer. We are not a baby sitting service, we are not duty bound to look after children until they are supposed to be in our care.
We would never ever leave a child unsupervised, but it IS NOT our job!
We have a very strict policy on this.
Parents are often 10 minutes late due to traffic or something, but if it is a regular occurrence with no real excuse (ie happening more than once a week) We do report it.

But I do also agree that a parent should be charged a fee. 1 hour late picking up and dropping off 2 hours early is just taking advantage!

 

[All Chalked Up]

My parents also work 12 hr shifts and have to sleep, and I'm never late for practice or pick up. Just saying.

 

[JAO]

Would you prefer your gymnast be absent all the time? If not, then stop complaining. I'll take earlybirds and late pick-uppers over absences any day. I don't perceive these situations as "child care," I see them as opportunities to go get some more work done and build relationships with my kids. Sometimes we go work on some stuff, sometimes we hang out and play board games. It's a win-win for me. Parents see me going the extra mile and that sets me apart from all the other gyms which just view kids as dollar signs. Are there parents who would take advantage of my generosity and use this time as free private lessons for their kids? Sure. But I don't really care about that, because my kid will be awesome. Then, if it does become a problem for some reason, I'll be in a better position to tell that parent that something needs to change. If the kid has terrible attendance or a terrible work ethic, then that changes things. But if she's a good kid, works hard, and just has absent-minded parents, then I perceive it as an opportunity to become a more prominent positive influence in that kid's life.

 

[iwannacoach]

I don't perceive these situations as "child care," I see them as opportunities to go get some more work done and build relationships with my kids. Sometimes we go work on some stuff, sometimes we hang out and play board games. It's a win-win for me. Parents see me going the extra mile and that sets me apart from all the other gyms which just view kids as dollar signs.

Then, if it does become a problem for some reason, I'll be in a better position to tell that parent that something needs to change.

If the kid has terrible attendance or a terrible work ethic, then that changes things. But if she's a good kid, works hard, and just has absent-minded parents, then I perceive it as an opportunity to become a more prominent positive influence in that kid's life.

I share the sentiment you expressed in parts of your first paragraph, but stop short of advocating that kind of special treatment fo a few reasons. You will have kids resenting the preferential treatment given the habitual "early in/late out" child, because in their world being on team means every one at a common training level gets treated more or less the same. You'll find that kids will stop vying for your attention by working hard and respecting your corrections because you've shown them that the best way to really get your attention is to be picked up late.

The other problem I will talk about, and there are others, is that some of us have responsibilities that begin 30 minutes and 7 miles away from the end of practice time. Some of us have our own child's soccer game we'd like to see, or a social opportunity we've been looking forward to for the past week. It's not simply a matter of an opportunity to get in a little extra training. It is a matter of making a statement that irresponsible or troubled parents should have no right nor expectation to dictate when our free time after practice starts. If you can't walk out of the gym 15 minutes after practice because of a late pick-up for the same child once or twice a week......something's wrong in the child-coach-parent partnership....it's that simple.

In your second paragraph you say you'd wait until it becomes a problem, and then do something about it. Well don't be surprized if you lose a kid you've put a lot of extra time into when you finally draw the line. You'll find a sad correlation between parents that pick-up late and dedication to their child's pursuits. So don't be surprized when they move down the road to a gym with longer training times, more "workable schedule", or leave to partner in a carpool formed while chatting with some other parent who's child goes to a nearby, even farther away gym. Many parents would rather do a 45 minute drive once a day than a 15 minute drive twice.......

About attendance and work ethic......I feel the same way about poor attendance, it just doesn't stick to the wall as far as I'm concerned. Work ethic is a challenge that needs to be learned by some kids, very much the same as any gymnastics skill. I can't think of anything more rewarding than converting a "slackard" into a team member any coach would be happy to include on their team. That's just the way I roll...........

 

[marie83]

I've got to say that a parent being very late, repeatedly is neglect in my opinion. Once or twice is acceptable - but usually I would expect warning and a good reason.
It's nothing to do with whether I'd be happy to look after a child or not (I would by the way) It is more that I shouldn't have to - what if it was the very last session of the day? that would be 9:15 in our gym - late enough anyway for children aged 8/9 but if a parent was then over an hour late?! I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be a happy coach!
Even if it wasn't the last session of the day, I wouldn't be able to give my attention to a child whose parent was late because my attention would be with other gymnasts whose session I am coaching.

I share the sentiment you expressed in parts of your first paragraph, but stop short of advocating that kind of special treatment fo a few reasons. You will have kids resenting the preferential treatment given the habitual "early in/late out" child, because in their world being on team means every one at a common training level gets treated more or less the same. You'll find that kids will stop vying for your attention by working hard and respecting your corrections because you've shown them that the best way to really get your attention is to be picked up late.

I tried to write something like this earlier but couldn't find the words! You did it so much better! I share this feeling!

 

[gralch1]

I feel that I must comment on the past few posts.
We are very understanding when it comes to early drop off or late pick up IF the parent has comunicated with us. We have several who come a little early or a leave little late due to scheduling for school or other siblings committments. We understand that sometimes stuff happens. It is our policy that the gymnast (if older) or parent (for younger ones) just let us know. I needed to vent mostly due the lack of communication from the family.

 

[marie83]

I feel that I must comment on the past few posts.
We are very understanding when it comes to early drop off or late pick up IF the parent has comunicated with us. We have several who come a little early or a leave little late due to scheduling for school or other siblings committments. We understand that sometimes stuff happens. It is our policy that the gymnast (if older) or parent (for younger ones) just let us know. I needed to vent mostly due the lack of communication from the family.

This is our club's approach too totally understand the bit in bold!
The parent of your particular gymnast just needs to be told that it isn't acceptable not to let you know!

 

[JAO]

I share the sentiment you expressed in parts of your first paragraph, but stop short of advocating that kind of special treatment fo a few reasons. You will have kids resenting the preferential treatment given the habitual "early in/late out" child, because in their world being on team means every one at a common training level gets treated more or less the same. You'll find that kids will stop vying for your attention by working hard and respecting your corrections because you've shown them that the best way to really get your attention is to be picked up late.

The other problem I will talk about, and there are others, is that some of us have responsibilities that begin 30 minutes and 7 miles away from the end of practice time. Some of us have our own child's soccer game we'd like to see, or a social opportunity we've been looking forward to for the past week. It's not simply a matter of an opportunity to get in a little extra training. It is a matter of making a statement that irresponsible or troubled parents should have no right nor expectation to dictate when our free time after practice starts. If you can't walk out of the gym 15 minutes after practice because of a late pick-up for the same child once or twice a week......something's wrong in the child-coach-parent partnership....it's that simple.

In your second paragraph you say you'd wait until it becomes a problem, and then do something about it. Well don't be surprized if you lose a kid you've put a lot of extra time into when you finally draw the line. You'll find a sad correlation between parents that pick-up late and dedication to their child's pursuits. So don't be surprized when they move down the road to a gym with longer training times, more "workable schedule", or leave to partner in a carpool formed while chatting with some other parent who's child goes to a nearby, even farther away gym. Many parents would rather do a 45 minute drive once a day than a 15 minute drive twice.......

About attendance and work ethic......I feel the same way about poor attendance, it just doesn't stick to the wall as far as I'm concerned. Work ethic is a challenge that needs to be learned by some kids, very much the same as any gymnastics skill. I can't think of anything more rewarding than converting a "slackard" into a team member any coach would be happy to include on their team. That's just the way I roll...........

Nope. Haven't found any of this to be true.

 

[wandrewsjr]

Would you prefer your gymnast be absent all the time? If not, then stop complaining. I'll take earlybirds and late pick-uppers over absences any day. I don't perceive these situations as "child care," I see them as opportunities to go get some more work done and build relationships with my kids. Sometimes we go work on some stuff, sometimes we hang out and play board games. It's a win-win for me. Parents see me going the extra mile and that sets me apart from all the other gyms which just view kids as dollar signs. Are there parents who would take advantage of my generosity and use this time as free private lessons for their kids? Sure. But I don't really care about that, because my kid will be awesome. Then, if it does become a problem for some reason, I'll be in a better position to tell that parent that something needs to change. If the kid has terrible attendance or a terrible work ethic, then that changes things. But if she's a good kid, works hard, and just has absent-minded parents, then I perceive it as an opportunity to become a more prominent positive influence in that kid's life.

I am, quite frankly, shocked at how many "likes" this post has received. I thought iwannacoach gave a very thoughtful response (and decided at first to leave it, since my first knee jerk reaction was not going to be so thoughtful). But doesn't look like that response was received as well, so I will chime in. My first thought is to JAO, you likely don't have your own kids or spouse at home. If I can't come straight home from my practice that ends at 8:30pm, then I don't get to see my husband before he goes to bed, since he has to get up at 6am. And I also would get to spend little or no time with my teenagers, and would not get to help them with homework or other "teenage girl" problems.

I give every ounce of my energy and effort to my kids during practice. I spend the entire practice trying to "make them awesome" to the best of my ability. If parents show up late, the message I get from them is, my time is more important than yours. If I have to stay late, you are taking the time away from me that I would like to spend with MY family. And though I love your kids, I love my kids more, and want to spend every second with them that our busy lives will allow.

 

[Faith]

I think it's extremely disrespectful to be picking up late, to the gym and coaches. It may be different here as we're in a big city, but at our gym they do not let a child leave the gym unless a parent is outside to pick up. I appreciate the time the coaches dedicate to the gym, and I also realise they have their own children and families. Also, if practice finishes at 8pm, it's late, especially for younger kids, and everyone wants to get home!

Our gym has a straight fine if you're late (£25 I think). Which is more than reasonable IMO. They always get the gymnast dressed and they sit on the side while the coaches get on with the class, if there is another class. If it becomes a regular thing then like Marie83, they're obliged to report it to social services.

Tbh, if the habitual late leavers were getting extra 1:1 coaching while waiting for their parents I'd be thoroughly P*d off and be looking for a new gym. It's rewarding bad behaviour, even if it is the parents, which is not a good life lesson. I don't want my child learning that disobeying the rules gets them further. And as the parent who always picks up on time, I'd be wondering what other preferential treatment was being given for the wrong reasons. The coaches at our gym like my DD because she turned up 10 minutes early, ready for practice on time, works hard, and is picked up on time. They like to know if they're working with a child they have the parent interest and support, and they're not just being used as a babysitting service...

 

[Marino]

Hi All,

just wanted to add my two cents.

I have the same problem at my gym (but not so much early drop offs)... I have gymnasts that come late and sometimes parents that are 20-30 minutes late to pick-up.

I found the best solution is not to penalize them with fines or extra charges, but to talk with the parents. Remember it is very rarely the gymnasts fault, the problem is usually with the parents. 90% of the time the problem is fixed after a nice conversation with the parents.

The problem will never go away,.. but by talking and informing the parents I have now minimized the problem.

I know this advice might not solve your problem, but I think we need to understand that these kind of problems will always be their and the best we can do is try to minimize it.

my two cents,
Peter

 

[pt coach]

I am a coach who also has a child on team. When practice is over, I am ready to leave. I have a long drive, a child to get to bed, and I work another full time job so I have to get up early in the morning. If a parent is a few minutes late once or twice, no big deal. But if they are significantly late or it happens more than once or twice an email goes out to the parent reminding them that late pickups are not acceptable.

Personally, I am never angry at a child who is picked up late - but I am completely irritated at the parent, especially the ones who don't bother to apologize. Of course emergencies happen, or there is a mix up on who is going to pick up...but the parents who are chronically late are inconsiderate. If the parent's schedule does not allow for a timely pickup, then they need to make other arrangements. Coaches have families and other obligations and are not babysitters.

 

[Moxiegrl83]

I think JAO sounds like he has a big heart, but that could be taken advantage of really quickly, or as another poster said, rewarding bad behavior (on the parents part, not the gymnasts). Our HC has 2 kids as well, and at the end of a long day, she wants to get home to her family, or get her family home if they are at the gym with her! Late pickups aren't usually an issue, but team girls regularly get dropped off early, and just hang in the gym til class.

OP - Talk to the parents. Let them know what you just told us. If it continues to be a problem, you can charge a late fee (mass email informing all parents), or put the parents and gymnast on probation. It stinks for the gymnast, because it's not her fault, but if the parents are going to take advantage it needs to be addressed. It's one thing if you're there anyway, they've talked to you about the schedule, and you're okay with them staying after class. It's another thing entirely to just be late time after time. Hope it works out!

 

[JAO]

You think late parents want to be known as late parents? Whenever I do have to spend time with someone after practice, the parents are always very apologetic and a little embarrassed. It's not "preferential treatment" unless I'm only doing this with *some* kids. But since I have a universal policy, it's applicable to anyone, and rather than be pissed off and bitter about it, my team parents are thankful and appreciative because they know that life will eventually happen to them, and if they find that they're going to be late, their daughter is in good hands with someone who will be taking care of her, rather than letting that kid sit there wondering why her mom hasn't shown up and feeling lonely. Or, worse, being exposed to an angry coach silently cursing the parent under his breath.

As for everyone else who has kids and needs to get home: Tough. You chose a career that has predominantly evening hours, that's going to make it hard to see your kids in the evenings. It's completely lazy and irresponsible to think that because PRACTICE ends at 8:30, that you're DONE at 8:30. You should be scheduling and planning to be there after the practice ends if for no other reason than sometimes accidents happen, or parents need to be talked to spontaneously without the need for a full scheduled conference. It's just common sense to give yourself time afterwards to take care of other needs (seriously? None of you have to clean the gym or put mats away anyway? Never mind none of you go take attendance or write down notes about the practice, or view any video shot during practice. But surely, at the very least, you have doors to lock up and and closing procedure to take care of.) If there were a school teacher who ran out the door with the kids at the bell, that teacher would be fired.

And I'd fire that coach in my gym, too.

 

[wandrewsjr]

I assumed that we weren't talking about an accident or mistake or emergency that would require a parent to be late, which would usually be accompanied by a phone call and an apology. Every reasonable person understands in these situations. We are ALL human, and make mistakes, and I assumed everyone would know that this is not the situation we are talking about. We(or at least me) are talking about those individuals who are habitually late and unapologetic about it. If you have never experienced an individual like this, than you are lucky.

Yes, JAO, we do have to lock our doors. And a quick question can be answered. I expect to leave the gym within about 15 min of the end of practice.(And I know many school teachers who leave in this time frame, too, because they have to pick up their kids from other schools) Longer conversations should be scheduled, or I often talk to parents on the phone. I do all of the planning you describe at home, after my family has gone to bed, or early the next day at the gym before practice.

And, I could be wrong, but I don't think I am a lazy and irresponsible coach because I don't stay late after practice.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

Charge for it. That is extended care. You are not a babysitting service. If you charge they will either arrive on time or you'll make some cash!

absolutely that ^^^