Parents New Gym Mom Advice

[jdf]

There is so much more to gymnastics than going elite or making it to the olympics. I think you will enjoy the skill development and work ethic of your daughter if she sticks with gymnastics. There are so many life lessons, ad you point out, that the time spent is well worth it.
As far as the point that some do make it, many fewer make it to the national team than to MLB.

 

[flipper's fan]

It may be easier to think of it as an NCAA sport. College gymnasts compete at the highest level- some olympians "retire" to college gymnastics like Courtney Kupets, Courtney Mc Cool, and now Shaina Worley. There are many more college gymnasts and it is a goal well within reach.

Save your sanity and do not even consider things like weight and abuse with your six year old. She should be far more focused on the back handspring than the next potato chip.

 

[WatchThisMom]

I think you're totally right, jdf. I am very much a person who believes in enjoying the journey instead of wishing to hurry and reach the destination. I like to stop and smell the roses along the way...I am looking forward to this journey with my dd as long as it makes her happy! My comparisons in my last posts were more me trying to get the whole picture straight in my head using a paradigm that I understand (baseball) since this one is still so foreign. Here's to enjoying the ride!

 

[WatchThisMom]

Flipper's fan that does make sense. We see baseball much the same way...my dream is for my boys to play ball in college and enjoy it and hopefully get a little school paid for in the process. I think that's a reasonable goal. THEY have MLB aspirations, much as my dd wants to be Nastia Liukin!

And dd IS concentrating on that back handspring...she's trying so hard and just can't wait! I'm just going to watch out for her well being and realize that we just have to take it as it comes...

 

[Megley]

I think you have a great attitude and will be a great gym mom! Having the experience with baseball has taught you all about how it has to be their thing and that you are just the cheerleader and the check writer. I think this is something that it's hard for many parents to realize. I know I have struggled with it both in gymnastics and with my son's guitar playing/performance. You already have that knowledge and it will serve you in good stead. Good luck to your dd! Sending her lots of bhspring fairies. I look forward to hearing more about her progress.

 

[WatchThisMom]

I think you have a great attitude and will be a great gym mom! Having the experience with baseball has taught you all about how it has to be their thing and that you are just the cheerleader and the check writer. I think this is something that it's hard for many parents to realize. I know I have struggled with it both in gymnastics and with my son's guitar playing/performance. You already have that knowledge and it will serve you in good stead. Good luck to your dd! Sending her lots of bhspring fairies. I look forward to hearing more about her progress.

Awww....thank you, Megley! I was hoping someone would say that my experience is transferrable!

Back to the original topic of this thread (i took us off topic)...our new gym update: We dropped at the old gym as of yesterday. I registered dd for the same number of hours per week (3) in what they tell me is the 6-9 girls advanced class at the new gym. She should be comfortable in there since it's supposed to be L2-L3 combined and she's been working on L3 skills (and some L4 like bhs) for 5 months now...I think the mill circle is her only real challenge right now. So this is still considered a recreational class, she's just taking it 3x a week. They told me they do evaluations 3x per year with the first being in 2 weeks, so we will have a good idea where they rank her pretty quick. The good news is that the next step up is advanced "gold", which would be the same class time, just different skills. Then, if she advances well there, they have an invitation only class which is where I believe they start prepping for team. I'm sure this will all take time, but at least I know we are on our way. Dd is SO excited that she's enrolled and she can't wait. I'll keep you posted on how we like it!

 

[jdf]

Best of luck to your dd. It is an exciting beginning for her!

 

[cathiann]

Sounds like you've got a good idea of what gymnastics might be light and aren't pushing her too hard. Good luck at the new gym! Can't wait to hear how she likes it.

 

[WatchThisMom]

Quick update...first official class (well, 2 back-to-back classes) at the new gym today and afterwards, dd said, "can I go everyday now?".

She was only 1 of 3 in the first hour class and 1 of 8 (2 coaches) in the second class. She loved it. They practiced bhs and the coach said she's doing well, she just needs to learn to jump more backward than up. I would think thats pretty common for beginners? She did her cartwheel on the low beam (not the one on the floor, but not the high one) and landed it several times and was so excited. I hope someone will say that pointed toes and straight legs come along after they learn to stay on the beam?

More to come--she has another class tomorrow and one Saturday then evaluations are next week. I hope to get an idea where they think she currently stands from that.

The teams were all practicing while she was there and she loved watching them. They have L4 all the way through elites practicing at the same time and it just blows my mind to be able to watch those girls practice...they are amazing!!!

 

[emorymom]

That sounds awesome!

 

[Pogo]

I have another few questions...I heard somewhere that Little Girls in Pretty Boxes should be required reading for anyone considering putting their daughter in competitive gymnastics...so I read it and it really scared my socks off. I know it's an old book--but have things really changed that much? I mean, I was looking at the Coaches Forum and reading opinions about discussing weight and it sounds like now the pendulum has swung in the extreme opposite direction to where coaches would NEVER discuss weight with their gymnasts. Was the backlash so big that parents just put their foot down and insisted that the abuse stop?

I've only been a casual observer over the years--I know who the Karolyi's are, who our big name gymnasts have been (Olympians only, really)--but I know next to nothing about the inside gymnastics world. Are our elites really trained through encouragement now? Are they well fed but with good nutritious foods? Are eating disorders still rampant? Just curious. The weight issue and the berating of the athletes were the hardest for me to read. I don't believe I could allow anyone to call my dd names, any names, even if it did mean losing the shot at the Olympics. I guess you never know what you'd do until you're in the situation yourself, but I would hope that the defense of my daughter would take precedence, regardless of how much time and money I had sacrificed. I found it hard to get into those parents' heads--to imagine what would make them allow it to continue. I want to think that today our gymnasts are healthy, not starved, and strong through training. I see online that a lot of gymnasts sit out now with injuries, so hopefully they're no longer encouraged to train through major ones and are allowed to rest/heal? I don't mean minor injuries...all athletes suck it up and train in pain sometimes--but not with broken backs, etc. Just looking for info. That book is pretty one sided. Makes gymnastics seem like a bloodsport. I'm intelligent enough to know that the author had an agenda and that there are three sides to every story, but it was still alarming...

Keep in mind that "Little Girls in Pretty Boxes" was published in 1995 and Christy Henrich, the GAGE gymnast who suffered from eating disorders, passed away in 1994. What started Christy's downward spiral was a judge telling her that she was fat and that she needed to lose weight. Since then, gym owners, coaches and judges have become much more attuned to recognizing and preventing eating disorders, although gymnasts, being more active than most, will be hit harder by an ED than the general population.

As far as verbal abuse goes, that is a harder call for at least a couple of reasons. First, coaches who come from abroad are often trained in different systems where yelling was routine, so naturally, they tend to use the same techniques. Second, everyone learns differently, so for some, a nurturing approach works best, and for others, frankly, they need to be yelled at. It's a fine line, but if you observe practices, you can tell when a coach is yelling to make a point as opposed to venting or just being mean. Obviously, if such an approach doesn't work for a particular gymnast, her parents can and should yank her and put her into another gym.

 

[lilgymmie7]

Anyway, my point is, millions of little boys dream of playing in he MLB (my ds's among them), but only few make it. The key is that SOME DO. My message is clear... that they must set short term, long term, and stretch goals and decide how much work they are willing to do to accomplish them--even when the world says "you'll never make it." My job, as Mom, is to temper those goals with a gentle touch of reality as I think necessary. I am wiser than they are and if I have young men who feel like failures if their dreams do not come to fruition (i.e., early 20s and not MLB players), then I have failed THEM. I have NEVER told either of my ds's that they will not make it, that it is impossible. I don't know that. No one does. What I do tell them is that they should train hard, shoot for the stars, and ALWAYS, ALWAYS rember their "back up plan." If you're injured and your career is over in high school, in college, after 1 year in the minors, what will you do? Have it. Know it. Stick to it even when you're almost to the top. Thats when it's easiest to think success is guaranteed--there ARE NO guarantees. A college degree to help get a non-athletic performance related job is essential. We all agree on this in our family.
But the day they realize they no longer LOVE the game is the day I have told them to walk away and never look back. Would I be disappointed? Heck yeah! I love to watch them, my best friends are moms in the stands--that's social hour for me. But at the expense of forcing them to put in 20 hours a week of baseball nearly year round? It would be unfair and unjust of me to put it on their shoulders, regardless of the amount of money I have spent or what their future prospects may be. Would I have any regrets if they walked away? NONE. I would make sure to educate them of what THEY might regret if they walked away, but I would let them decide. I had my life--this one is theirs to live.

Baseball (and I'm sure this crowd would argue gymnastics as well, and likely a whole range of activities for that matter) teach our children real life lessons that cannot be taught via other methods. Practice. Hard work. Responsibility. Courage under pressure. Sacrifice. Organizational skills. Prioritization. And to quote ABC's Wide World of Sports, "The thrill of victory, and he agony of defeat." I've been on both sides of the lines--its hard to decide which is the highest high--winning yourself, or watching your child not just win, but develop and grow and become he best they can be. I don't know if a nonparent can understand it fully, but I do x 3. There's nothing like it. Let's face it, most sports careers are temporary--some more so than others--but they are a metaphor for life--their lessons translate directly to life, jobs, and parenthood. This is why my time and money are spent on athletics.

I don't know if I can argue on any one of the points you have made. Life is fullfilled when one takes the time to fill it with those things that make one happy. Sports is just one of those ingredients. Children need to value their experiences throughout their lifetimes. Involvement in sports like you have mentioned serves as a stepping stone to greater life lessons and experiences. The fun we have along the way is also a huge benefit of sports. I have to say, I share your sentiments exactly. You WERE right this time! How about that? I don't crack good jokes, so it's okay if you didn't laugh!!

 

[WatchThisMom]

Lilgymmie7, I did get a chuckle out of that actually, because I feel like I'm in this strange new world...so getting someone to understand my logic is quite funny!

The weirdness is compounded by he fact that my dh and I share common knowledge of your typical kids'
sports (baseball, football, soccer)--but in this instance I know FAR more than he does, even though my knowledge is painfully limited since I admit I only watched gymnastics every 4 years when the olympics were on (until now)! So what little I know is a great deal in comparison to my dh's knowledge. I'm wondering how to bridge that gap given he really doesn't find gymnastics interesting. I guess that will come with time as dd progresses. I just don't ever see him as they type to know the detailed requirements of a yurchenko--not like he knows the mechanics of hitting a baseball anyway.

I, in contrast, have been scouring the web for resources and watching videos to see what the levels are...not in order to rush dd through them, but to understand them. I find it fascinating!

 

[WatchThisMom]

Keep in mind that "Little Girls in Pretty Boxes" was published in 1995 and Christy Henrich, the GAGE gymnast who suffered from eating disorders, passed away in 1994. What started Christy's downward spiral was a judge telling her that she was fat and that she needed to lose weight. Since then, gym owners, coaches and judges have become much more attuned to recognizing and preventing eating disorders, although gymnasts, being more active than most, will be hit harder by an ED than the general population.

I was hoping someone would say that at least SOME of the eating disorder issues had improved since this book was written. It seems to me that he education surrounding eating disorders has vastly improved since then even in the general population--so it would make sense that it would carry over to gymnasts and coaches, too. I would hope that I, as a parent, would realize what was going on with my dd if something like this were happening. It's the thought that I might miss it that terrifies me. Or the thought that a parent would knowingly ALLOW it to continue that makes me ill--I know parents don't go into this sport intending to do harm...Not to judge anyone, but I just don't understand how it could get so out of hand...it just seems unthinkable. What scares me is, the parents whose daughters suffer like those in the book probably said the same thing when their daughters were just starting.