Parents would like your opinion on soliciting gift sales

[emorymom]

State meet was yesterday and well run and enjoyable.

I had read in the program that if we wanted there would be a time at AA that we could present DD with whatever flowers, gifts, etc we had for a photo op.

I don't get DD gifts for attending meets because it is not in line with my values, nor my husband's. We are pleased to pay her meet fees for driving-distance meets. I attend and if DH has to work then DS has to attend. Her coach presents them with a little gift basket or bag after each meet. I contributed to the stash for this. We go out for a nice meal before / after if that fits into the day and driving. The girls get tons of medals even for placing in the bottom half. I'd say my daughter was in the bottom 2/3 on all events and still got medals for 3 events. I'm very proud of her for her personal progress and think she's the sun and the moon. But as to the material stuff and expense she's already getting, on the whole it's a bit crazy to begin with IMO.

My position is that she should understand that gym is a privilege and not an entitlement nor has she invented the wheel or published her first novel (as a level 2 gymnast). Ideally she'd be thankful for us giving up our day yesterday to support her at her request but I don't expect her to be buying us flowers at age 6. Of course I am just there to support her and love her to pieces but if she is in gym to get a gift we need to get her out of gym speedy quick.

My problem is that once all the girls had assembled in the awards area they announced ... in front of the girls, not briefly, but with a complete explanation ... about the gift presentations and that anyone who had not gotten a gift but wanted to participate could go over to the tables right over there and get a gift. They then seemed to wait on the parents who were purchasing flowers, lollipop bouquets, etc. for the awards to start but perhaps they were waiting on the results, IDK.

I thought this was very tacky and at the expense of the girls who were not getting a gift for whatever reason. In fact it seemed quite out of line to end any girl's day on a low note for any reason!

Just to reiterate, my daughter was sitting there at awards in a $172 outfit, at a meet we spent $62 on, wearing four clinky medals, in possession of her gift bag from her coach containing things like little toys, a meet t-shirt, etc. I packed her a chocolate bar for after and when it was all said and done her brother and I were out of the house with her from 12:00-9:30. And of course her coach will be exhausted on Monday.

It wasn't a horrible thing to be able to talk about this briefly when she asked why she didn't get flowers, but ...

I just don't understand the emotional blackmail for me to spend another $8 on a few flowers that will be dead in 3 days.

I wonder if I should send a letter and to whom. Is this kind of thing accepted these days?

 

[gymjoy]

I just don't understand the emotional blackmail for me to spend another $8 on a few flowers that will be dead in 3 days.

LOL - this is exactly how I have always felt!!

I use to do it when dd was L4. Mostly because I did feel guilty when she was the only one not getting the candy/flower gram thing and because she rarely received a medal. By L5 I dumped it, explaining to dd why. I had to explain it more than once, usually after a meet After paying for practice fees, entry fees, coach fees, uniform fees (easily the most expensive pieces of clothing I have ever purchased!!), and admission fees, I just do not want to throw away money on cr**.

I especially dislike that it is mostly pure profit for the hosting gym. Not that the hosting gym should make a profit, I know that hosting meets is a big endeavor and an important money maker for many gyms. But after paying the $100 meet fee for my dd and $15-$20 per person to watch - I just feel insulted by being asked to give more money to the hosting gyms program. I don't mind the $1-2 raffles so much though.

The selling of this gifts is an accepted, even expected, part of meets. I have seen the handing out of them handled in different ways. Most often the host gym groups them together by gym and just hands them to a coach or girl to hand out to team-mates. Sometimes the host gym stands up front while waiting for award tallies ans calls up each girl who has a gift. I prefer the first way - less emotional blackmail as you said.

I have never had a gym announce and then wait for parents to buy gifts. They have occasionally made a brief announcement during a slow part of a meet.

You mentioned that it doesn't fit with your values, and I'm with you on that. It also teaches your child important lessons. What to value - things or hard work with progress toward a goal. It teaches standing up for those values - even in small ways. It teaches using money wisely, not frivolously. Stick to your guns and your dd will understand in time.

 

[gym law mom]

Boy, I am right in line with this!! We don't hit many meets that force the flower, gift issue and I think it was downright tacky of the host gym to guilt parents into buying yet another thing. We did go to 1 big invitational this year and they had various flower bouquets that they were pushing---prices went from $10-$25. This wasn't even a state or regional meet---just an optional invitational. For kids who had traveled from out of state, I could see those pretty $25 bouquets end up being crushed on the flight home. Yes, they did seem to "hold up" awards a little while they announced where the flowers could be purchased(more than once) No, I didn't buy any and my child understood. She saw the prices on them on the way out and thought it was silly. She was much more in favor of a dinner with her teammates.

We have had discussions about the price of this sport, but not to the extent she should feel guilty for wanting to continue. As a family we just draw the line at buying t-shirts at each meet and other little trinkets that will soon be forgotten. When the girls start going to meets just to get "gifts" at the end, then its time to rethink why she's doing this sport.

Emorymom--I think you did the right thing for your dd. She'll remember and cherish those state medals far longer than some flowers or lollipops.
If you want to complain(or just voice you opinion) there should be a contact for the host gym on the meet announcement.

 

[Gymdad2]

I'm going to play devil's advocate here. I do agree that there is no need for putting anybody in the position where they feel they 'have' to buy anything, but I would like to look at this from the other side. Gymjoy said that it is 'pure profit' for the gym, but in my experience, the team's booster club puts on the meet, not the gym. Our boosters have done a yearly meet for a long time, and when we first started we had to compensate our owner for the lost income for that weekend since he had to cancel all other activities. Later, as our meets grew and we outgrew the gym facilities, we started renting a school gymnasium which is a large expense. Then there is the rental equipment, and no matter where you hold the meet you must pay for 9 judges, event innsurance, awards, decorations, etc., so, no, a meet is not pure profit. Also, you might want to consider what that money is used for. The booster club will use the profits for the benefit of the girl's team. Team gymnastics is a very expensive sport as you have pointed out, but $8 does not seem like an excessive amount of money, and if it gives your dd a good
feeling about herself, then IMO it is money well spent.

My other thought is how it is handled by the host. As somebody said, there is always a wait while scores are calculated so it may not have been an intentional delay to increase sales. At many of the meets I have been to over the years there has been some reference to what is being offered for sale. Perhaps they will mention the vendors who have set up and suggest that we check out there products, usually a display of leos, gym clothing, gym related jewelry and trinkets, etc., and they often mention the concessions that are available and I see nothing wrong with this. I have been to meets where flowers are available and I have never felt any unreasonable pressure to buy anything.

I hope this doesn't sour you on this sport becuase I truely feel that the advantages that our dd's get from being on team greatly outweigh any incidents like this.

 

[emorymom]

Thanks Gymdad2. I have no problem with mentioning that there is still stuff for sale and tables set up in the awards room. There is stuff for sale at every meet, so really you'd have to be really out of it or going to your first meet to not know this, but that would be fine.

I also really support parents who do want to buy their daughter flowers and gifts at the meets. I don't judge what goes on in their families. I can see that if I worked long hours away from my child, or there might be other circumstances, that I would get her flowers or buy her stuff. DH is supposed to get her flowers for her dance recital.

I'm blessed to be able to spend lots and lots of time with DD.

What I wouldn't care for would be an announcement something like this.

We KNOW how proud you all are of your gymnasts, and we KNOW how this being level 2, this is probably their first state meet, and you WANT to acknowledge their accomplishment with flowers or a candy-gram. We will be doing something special today. We will be allowing you to bring your gift for your gymnast up to her during the AA presentation, for a VERY SPECIAL photo opportunity for you to present your gymnast with her gift. So IF you haven't gotten your gymnast her gift yet, and you are so inclined, there are tables over on the back side of the room. So go ahead if you want to honor your gymnast in this very special way, and you have not gotten your gift for some reason, this is your last chance.

 

[gymnut1]

You would just love it in England emorymum

A $30 leo, no warm up, $10 meet fee, no goody bags, t shirts, etc etc and only medals for the first 3 AA rest get a cert. You certainly know they are there for the gym lol

We only compete once a year so I do buy my dd something as a gift (usually a little teddy). I give it to her in the morning before we go to start the day in a nice way. Other parents don't buy anything so I don't do it in front of them at the meet.

It is such a different world over there. My dd is gobsmacked watching youtube videos of kids getting medals for 10th place. She thinks that is very very odd. However it would give her a chance of a medal lol.

 

[emorymom]

You're right, the UK system sounds really attractive to me

 

[cathiann]

I'm going to play devil's advocate here. I do agree that there is no need for putting anybody in the position where they feel they 'have' to buy anything, but I would like to look at this from the other side. Gymjoy said that it is 'pure profit' for the gym, but in my experience, the team's booster club puts on the meet, not the gym. Our boosters have done a yearly meet for a long time, and when we first started we had to compensate our owner for the lost income for that weekend since he had to cancel all other activities. Later, as our meets grew and we outgrew the gym facilities, we started renting a school gymnasium which is a large expense. Then there is the rental equipment, and no matter where you hold the meet you must pay for 9 judges, event innsurance, awards, decorations, etc., so, no, a meet is not pure profit. Also, you might want to consider what that money is used for. The booster club will use the profits for the benefit of the girl's team. Team gymnastics is a very expensive sport as you have pointed out, but $8 does not seem like an excessive amount of money, and if it gives your dd a good
feeling about herself, then IMO it is money well spent.

My other thought is how it is handled by the host. As somebody said, there is always a wait while scores are calculated so it may not have been an intentional delay to increase sales. At many of the meets I have been to over the years there has been some reference to what is being offered for sale. Perhaps they will mention the vendors who have set up and suggest that we check out there products, usually a display of leos, gym clothing, gym related jewelry and trinkets, etc., and they often mention the concessions that are available and I see nothing wrong with this. I have been to meets where flowers are available and I have never felt any unreasonable pressure to buy anything.

I hope this doesn't sour you on this sport becuase I truely feel that the advantages that our dd's get from being on team greatly outweigh any incidents like this.

I may be the only agreeing with gymdad, but he makes good points. And I've also seen at meets that many parents DO buys or bring their gymnasts gifts--especially at the bigger meets (like State or Regionals for higher levels). I think it's cool the host club is offering a chance for pictures etc., but agree that opening announcing a time to purchase gifts is more than a little tacky.

 

[mariposa]

I don't mind the selling of things, but pushing it at awards was tacky. Pushing it during other times, I don't mind. If I don't want something, I don't buy it and I have already talked to my kid before the meet about why we can't get anything. I have bought her something little at a very few meets, so she already knows, but especially with our financial situation, I am honest about it and why.

 

[Pickle's Mom]

I wonder it this differs by state. I've only been to one meet where they actually did presentation of gifts and that was in another state.

At most of our meets, they sell lots of stuff at table and girls come through the crowds with buckets of flowers, but parents purchase and give the gifts privately.

I understand that hosting these meets are really expensive, and that this is a good fundraising effort, but I don't think that emotional blackmail should be part of the fundraising equation. There's a difference between making gifts available to purchase and pushing the gift giving to the point where a child is going to feel left out if she doesn't get one.

 

[flip out]

This sounds like the hosting gym's way of getting you to spend a little more out of guilt...the photo op is not really a photo op...its a "please spend a little bit more" op.

Yes, we already spend too much. I always feel guilty at meets for not purchasing raffle tickets for the gift baskets, etc. but we cannot afford to donate money to someone else's gym boosters.

It would not, in my humble opinion, be out of line for someone to mention to the hosting gym's directorship that this created discomfort and unhappiness for some families to be placed in this awkward position of "my daughter is not included" in the "buy some more stuff" award photo.

 

[trcr7498]

I had to laugh when I read this. The paragraph above - I couldn't have said it better myself. I have to admit that I've never been to a competition where they actaully postponed awards while parents went to buy gifts....and thank goodness for that!!

 

[Pickle's Mom]

My husband and I sometimes joke that Pickle's gymnastics uniform, which she wore for a grand total of 11 times across Fall and Winter seasons (including sectionals and states for both) is by far the most expensive outfit in her closet.

Just the leo (without the warmups and bag) is probably at least three times the cost of anything else.

But those clunky medals to jangle awfully prettily when she runs her hand through them before going to sleep at night (she hangs them from her bedposts).