BluePinkPanda
Proud Parent
Hello,
My DDs are not in gymnastics, but they have been doing competitive dance.
Their dance teachers recently had my older daughter (11) and her acro class doing running dive rolls over stacked mats between 3 & 4 feet tall. My DD is only 4.5 ft tall. This was a new to them skill; they had only ever done really basic standing dive rolls.
There are no viewing windows or cameras (which has always rubbed me the wrong way), but DD got in the car and told me her head was hurting. I assumed it was a headache, but she was fighting back tears. She said it was her head and neck, and that she had landed on her head and bounced on her head. Naturally, I asked what happened.
She then told me that they had them doing running dive rolls. I asked if there was any kind of crash mat on the other side to land on, and she said no; just the dead mat (roll out cheer mat). She said she hit her head hard every time, but she only bounced on her head the one time. She said she saw black spots and felt dizzy and light headed; she felt weird through the next day, and she had headaches for a few days after.
So I told her to ask if they could put down a crash mat or a softer mat of some kind. She said she didnât want to ask for that because she didnât want them to get mad at her and get in trouble. The emotional and psychological abuse they do to them has become apparent in the last year; I almost didnât commit them to this year, and I wish I hadnât.
Anyway, so DH wrote an email explaining the situation and said we told our kids not to do it without a crash mat or softer mat because we and they would feel more comfortable that way. He said we appreciated them understanding, providing that for them, and helping them learn this skill in a way that would be safer for them.
They required a meeting. it was clear the meeting had a different agenda (which I wonât get in to here), but they denied our request using a crash mat in the future, insinuated DD was lying and overreacting, they denied a spot even (which DH only asked about because they refused to put any other mat down for her to land on), and even rolled their eyes at my DH. One of them said, âWhy did she keep doing it if she got hurt and it scared her?â DH said, âYou were asking her to do it, and sheâs a people pleaser; she didnât want to not do it and disappoint any of you.â Thatâs where the eye roll came in. Their âsolutionâ was to make her do it without a crash/softer mat or not at all, and if she doesnât learn it, she canât be in the recital acro dance.
My background is gymnastics, tumbling, and cheer, so Iâm having a hard time wrapping my head around this response. She likely wouldnât have needed a crash mat for that long; just until she got the right form and wasnât at risk of hitting her head each time or really hard again. There was even a comment made by one of them about how theyâre just fine in class, so âthere must be a problem at home.â Thatâs such an inappropriate and uncalled for comment. I couldnât believe the nerve of her.
I told DH after all the mental abuse our kids have suffered, and then thisâŠitâs the final straw, and I am done. I donât even see how we can finish this season, as Iâm acutely uncomfortable with their response and donât trust them at all now.
Were we wrong in requesting a crash mat or softer mat? I donât feel like it was unreasonable at all, but they seemed to think it was one of the worst things we could have done. Iâm so lost, and I guess I just needed to vent more than anything.
My DDs are not in gymnastics, but they have been doing competitive dance.
Their dance teachers recently had my older daughter (11) and her acro class doing running dive rolls over stacked mats between 3 & 4 feet tall. My DD is only 4.5 ft tall. This was a new to them skill; they had only ever done really basic standing dive rolls.
There are no viewing windows or cameras (which has always rubbed me the wrong way), but DD got in the car and told me her head was hurting. I assumed it was a headache, but she was fighting back tears. She said it was her head and neck, and that she had landed on her head and bounced on her head. Naturally, I asked what happened.
She then told me that they had them doing running dive rolls. I asked if there was any kind of crash mat on the other side to land on, and she said no; just the dead mat (roll out cheer mat). She said she hit her head hard every time, but she only bounced on her head the one time. She said she saw black spots and felt dizzy and light headed; she felt weird through the next day, and she had headaches for a few days after.
So I told her to ask if they could put down a crash mat or a softer mat of some kind. She said she didnât want to ask for that because she didnât want them to get mad at her and get in trouble. The emotional and psychological abuse they do to them has become apparent in the last year; I almost didnât commit them to this year, and I wish I hadnât.
Anyway, so DH wrote an email explaining the situation and said we told our kids not to do it without a crash mat or softer mat because we and they would feel more comfortable that way. He said we appreciated them understanding, providing that for them, and helping them learn this skill in a way that would be safer for them.
They required a meeting. it was clear the meeting had a different agenda (which I wonât get in to here), but they denied our request using a crash mat in the future, insinuated DD was lying and overreacting, they denied a spot even (which DH only asked about because they refused to put any other mat down for her to land on), and even rolled their eyes at my DH. One of them said, âWhy did she keep doing it if she got hurt and it scared her?â DH said, âYou were asking her to do it, and sheâs a people pleaser; she didnât want to not do it and disappoint any of you.â Thatâs where the eye roll came in. Their âsolutionâ was to make her do it without a crash/softer mat or not at all, and if she doesnât learn it, she canât be in the recital acro dance.
My background is gymnastics, tumbling, and cheer, so Iâm having a hard time wrapping my head around this response. She likely wouldnât have needed a crash mat for that long; just until she got the right form and wasnât at risk of hitting her head each time or really hard again. There was even a comment made by one of them about how theyâre just fine in class, so âthere must be a problem at home.â Thatâs such an inappropriate and uncalled for comment. I couldnât believe the nerve of her.
I told DH after all the mental abuse our kids have suffered, and then thisâŠitâs the final straw, and I am done. I donât even see how we can finish this season, as Iâm acutely uncomfortable with their response and donât trust them at all now.
Were we wrong in requesting a crash mat or softer mat? I donât feel like it was unreasonable at all, but they seemed to think it was one of the worst things we could have done. Iâm so lost, and I guess I just needed to vent more than anything.