I coach a rec tramp session with what is generally a very nice bunch of kids. Recently there is a girl who has started pushing the boundaries. It has always been a feature of use club that the coaches have a good rapport with the kids and will make jokes. There is a lot of give and take with this and the kids generally know what they can get away with.
Anyway, this girl is about 9, and started hitting me. It was fairly inane to begin with; I was talking to her (whatever I said was not significant enough for me to be able to remember it!) and I cracked a joke, something about her being an old lady, which at 9, she very clearly isn't. Her response was to walk around the back of me and slap me, and then shake her finger in my face and say 'no!' Like she was a parent telling me off. She was laughing and I let the fact that she had hit me (it wasn't hard) slide. It happened again in the same training session and I gave her a warning look and a firm, 'no, thank you.'. She had the grace to look slightly embarrassed and I assumed that would be the end of the issue, but shortly after she did it AGAIN, in front of her dad who did absolutely nothing. This time I cracked out my 'teacher voice' and firmly told her that hitting people was never ok, and that I did not have to put up with that sort of behaviour. I looked directly at dad, who mumbled something about 'yes darling, we have asked you not to hit people'. Instead of apologising she tried to make an excuse, which dad left unchecked (I set her straight when he failed to!)
Que next session, and she turns up and informs us that she will not be doing any body landings today because she is 'too sad'. She was very clearly doing this for attention and looked anything but sad, obviously wanted us to ask why. My colleague asked her what was making her sad and she tells us her cat died. We spent a moment talking to her about how that is very sad and if she gets upset she can go out and take a moment etc, then saying that being sad doesn't limit her ability to work hard and if she is here she needs to participate.
She wanted free play so we gave her a bit of time. After 15 mins we told her she needs to work on x skill. She ignores us. We repeat it, she says 'no, I'm just going to have free play'. My colleague says that she is here to work and she has had her free play she says 'I don't care!' By this point the whole group are quiet and pretty shocked at her tone with us. I tell her to sit out, and ah turns around and says 'I don't PAY YOU to sit out!'. My jaw (and the rest of the kids!) almost hit the floor and she was told in no uncertain terms that she would be sitting out, and that SHE doesn't pay either of us for anything.
I don't know what to do with her, and writing it out I think I'm going to get a load of people telling me that she was just acting out in grief and I was too mean. But this stuff (the attitude, the hitting, refusing to listen to instructions) has been brewing for much longer than the cat issue. Any ideas???
Anyway, this girl is about 9, and started hitting me. It was fairly inane to begin with; I was talking to her (whatever I said was not significant enough for me to be able to remember it!) and I cracked a joke, something about her being an old lady, which at 9, she very clearly isn't. Her response was to walk around the back of me and slap me, and then shake her finger in my face and say 'no!' Like she was a parent telling me off. She was laughing and I let the fact that she had hit me (it wasn't hard) slide. It happened again in the same training session and I gave her a warning look and a firm, 'no, thank you.'. She had the grace to look slightly embarrassed and I assumed that would be the end of the issue, but shortly after she did it AGAIN, in front of her dad who did absolutely nothing. This time I cracked out my 'teacher voice' and firmly told her that hitting people was never ok, and that I did not have to put up with that sort of behaviour. I looked directly at dad, who mumbled something about 'yes darling, we have asked you not to hit people'. Instead of apologising she tried to make an excuse, which dad left unchecked (I set her straight when he failed to!)
Que next session, and she turns up and informs us that she will not be doing any body landings today because she is 'too sad'. She was very clearly doing this for attention and looked anything but sad, obviously wanted us to ask why. My colleague asked her what was making her sad and she tells us her cat died. We spent a moment talking to her about how that is very sad and if she gets upset she can go out and take a moment etc, then saying that being sad doesn't limit her ability to work hard and if she is here she needs to participate.
She wanted free play so we gave her a bit of time. After 15 mins we told her she needs to work on x skill. She ignores us. We repeat it, she says 'no, I'm just going to have free play'. My colleague says that she is here to work and she has had her free play she says 'I don't care!' By this point the whole group are quiet and pretty shocked at her tone with us. I tell her to sit out, and ah turns around and says 'I don't PAY YOU to sit out!'. My jaw (and the rest of the kids!) almost hit the floor and she was told in no uncertain terms that she would be sitting out, and that SHE doesn't pay either of us for anything.
I don't know what to do with her, and writing it out I think I'm going to get a load of people telling me that she was just acting out in grief and I was too mean. But this stuff (the attitude, the hitting, refusing to listen to instructions) has been brewing for much longer than the cat issue. Any ideas???