Parents Frustrating season finally over-vent

[gymratmom]

Just venting here since I have to say all the right things in real life. DD (9) just finished up level 6 and it was a very tough season to watch. Last meet season she was a level 4 and wasn't the best but usually in the top 5 with a few 1sts sprinkled in. This season she struggled, mostly hanging at the bottom of the pack across the board. Maybe placed 4th once. Fell on beam just about every meet, either had good handstands or got the squat on-never both together! We focused on goals for each meet, not scores or placements. She cried after the first meet but since then has not the lack of placements bother her. Still loves the gym and has no desire to stop, even though sometimes I wish she would! One thing I am so proud of is her dedication to the team. She is genuinely excited for her teammates' success and begged me to take her to all of their sessions at state so she could cheer them on. How do other parents handle "disappointing" seasons? I know this sport is a marathon and my job is to support her and help her maintain the love of the sport, but sometimes I would just love to see her on the podium!

 

[gwenmom]

Just venting here since I have to say all the right things in real life. DD (9) just finished up level 6 and it was a very tough season to watch. Last meet season she was a level 4 and wasn't the best but usually in the top 5 with a few 1sts sprinkled in. This season she struggled, mostly hanging at the bottom of the pack across the board. Maybe placed 4th once. Fell on beam just about every meet, either had good handstands or got the squat on-never both together! We focused on goals for each meet, not scores or placements. She cried after the first meet but since then has not the lack of placements bother her. Still loves the gym and has no desire to stop, even though sometimes I wish she would! One thing I am so proud of is her dedication to the team. She is genuinely excited for her teammates' success and begged me to take her to all of their sessions at state so she could cheer them on. How do other parents handle "disappointing" seasons? I know this sport is a marathon and my job is to support her and help her maintain the love of the sport, but sometimes I would just love to see her on the podium!

We had a tough season too. Very similar only Level 4. I think you did the right thing. Setting smaller goals for each meet. Playing cheerleader when they begin to doubt themselves. Another I always try to do is make a mental list of positives at each meet. Then at the end I tell her, 'I'm so proud of you and did you know your (insert skill/attribute here) amazed me'. Some meets it was easy. Some not so much.

 

[profmom]

If she still loves gym and supports her teammates, you are doing a lot of things right. DD has been in this situation a lot over the course of her gymnastics career. What works for us is setting skill goals for events/meets, and for a while, I was pushing her to write down something she was proud of on every event right after she competed. I think for parents, you can actually fake it til you make it -- the more you encourage her to focus on personal triumphs, the more you'll do it too. Then will come the day where you are at a meet genuinely feeling ridiculously proud and happy even when some awful score comes up because you know she did what she set out to do and will be happy herself.

 

[gymmomtotwo]

Sounds like you are doing all the right things with her. It is hard to have a kid at the lower end of a group. I have that (except a completely odd amazing talent on vault). She rarely places in other events and usually has the lowest AA score of her team. However, it is a very good team, and even she is proficient on all events, and has scored a couple of 36s. But she is not on the podium ever for anything but vault. She is also the youngest on her level. Your daughter is a very young level 6. You talk about a just okay Level 4 season with mostly top 5 and some 1sts. No offense, but how is that not a fantastic season? The majority of gymnasts (the other 30 that didn't place) would love those results. Maybe your DD wasn't ready to be a winning Level 6. Maybe she needs another year to really be secure with the skills. I totally get the feelings you have, because I have to give myself a reality check too. If you go through this journey expecting the podium, it could be a rough ride for you. There are lots of kids there doing a sport theylove. Very few stand on top of the podium.

 

[ZJsMom]

Getting through a rough season with her head held high and still loving gymnastics is an accomplishment in itself. I really believe learning to keep going and accept not being the best is important. One year, ds finished dead last at Regionals. He was bummed for a couple hours, then he started talking about improvements and upgrades he was going to work on over the summer. It was cute to see him pick himself up and recommit.

Your dd is a relatively young Level 6. Next year, maybe she'll repeat and will be winning everything.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

It's a marathon not a sprint. Always be happy with your child, visibly and mentally (they can sense it). Next year will be much better.

 

[Mrs. Puma]

Yup. Rough season here too. I'm hoping mine can really do well (meet her skill goals) at states to salvage the season. Sounds like you're doing everything you can! At the proper moment (not in the middle of initial disappointment) I remind her that she has chosen a brutal sport, and that you have to be able to handle failure mentally to be successful. Maybe in a way it's kind of good we're dealing with this early in their "careers". Hopefully they'll be more suceesses next season and in the meantime! Good luck!

 

[wgymmom]

She is a very young L6, so I'd focus on being proud of that. Even if she repeats, she's good just to be competing at 6 at age 9 or 10.

 

[QueenBee]

It's hard when your child has a rough season, but I have to say that it is probably better to have that rough season at Level 6 and be able to really see the hard work you have ahead and re-commit than it has been for some of our Level 8s and 9s this year try to deal with having their first "hard year".

As you get to those higher levels, I think it is harder to deal with not being "on top" for the first time than it is in the compulsory levels/Level 6. And a big part of this sport, IMO, is learning to deal with failure, picking yourself back up and working even harder than before. If you didn't deal with it young, it is even harder to deal with when it happens.

As others have said, your daughter is young for her Level. She will probably have an awesome season next year, especially if she decides to work as hard as she can at improving her weak spots.

My daughter had her first big growth spurt this year. It was hard for her to watch some of her teammates get skills quicker than she did (she was happy for them to get the skills, but she wanted them on the same timeline like it had been in the past). We spent a lot of time talking this year about learning gymnastics on a new body. About being patient with yourself and comparing your skill "gains" only against YOU.

She is finally feeling like her body is her own again, and I like to believe that having her parents cheering on her achievements without comparing them to anyone else really helped the process. I also like to believe that at the end of each year, the gymnasts can start fresh with learning their new skills and have a new chance to have an awesome season.

 

[my4buffaloes]

Just wanted to say that just because this season was rough, does not mean that next season will be. Stuff happens and there is benefit even in falling. Sounds like you are handling it right. But I agree, it is hard to watch our kids struggle.

 

[Mrs. Puma]

It's hard when your child has a rough season, but I have to say that it is probably better to have that rough season at Level 6 and be able to really see the hard work you have ahead and re-commit than it has been for some of our Level 8s and 9s this year try to deal with having their first "hard year".

As you get to those higher levels, I think it is harder to deal with not being "on top" for the first time than it is in the compulsory levels/Level 6. And a big part of this sport, IMO, is learning to deal with failure, picking yourself back up and working even harder than before. If you didn't deal with it young, it is even harder to deal with when it happens.

As others have said, your daughter is young for her Level. She will probably have an awesome season next year, especially if she decides to work as hard as she can at improving her weak spots.

My daughter had her first big growth spurt this year. It was hard for her to watch some of her teammates get skills quicker than she did (she was happy for them to get the skills, but she wanted them on the same timeline like it had been in the past). We spent a lot of time talking this year about learning gymnastics on a new body. About being patient with yourself and comparing your skill "gains" only against YOU.

She is finally feeling like her body is her own again, and I like to believe that having her parents cheering on her achievements without comparing them to anyone else really helped the process. I also like to believe that at the end of each year, the gymnasts can start fresh with learning their new skills and have a new chance to have an awesome season.

Good point-We talk a lot about competing with YOURSELF.

 

[LizzieLac]

Still loves the gym and has no desire to stop, even though sometimes I wish she would! One thing I am so proud of is her dedication to the team. She is genuinely excited for her teammates' success and begged me to take her to all of their sessions at state so she could cheer them on.

She sounds like a determined and lovely young lady. Lack of podium appearances does not mean a bad season. The training, the camaraderie, the love for the sports are all great things to possess that will serve her well in future seasons and in life.

 

[raenndrops]

As others said... be proud of the little things...
YG did 3 years of the same level (Old L4 x2 and New L3). She still didn't have the skills after 3 years for L4 - wasn't able to attend all hours of practice... and sometimes was only practicing 2 hours a week.

We focused on the little things... one meet in her 3rd year, she "got credit" for her middle circle, but just with a fall. It was her personal best Bars score! We focused on Personal bests... personal best scores... skill goals - make something, stick a landing, actually REMEMBER her routine... things like that

 

[needcoffee]

Comp season hasn't started here yet but I'm not looking forward to it at all. DD is struggling in level 5 (competed 3 last year, never having stepped foot in a gym) and to be honest, I feel like her coaches have set her up to fail.
She can't connect ANYTHING on the bars, still looks like she's about to pee her pants every time she gets up on the beam, can't hold her handstand...
I foresee many tears this year...
Yes I'm pissy about it...

 

[gymratmom]

She sounds like a determined and lovely young lady. Lack of podium appearances does not mean a bad season. The training, the camaraderie, the love for the sports are all great things to possess that will serve her well in future seasons and in life.

Thank you! I am very proud of her. Great perspective in all these posts. She came in last night all excited to show us her split press hand stand and it reminded me that excitement is what it is all about. Also she is progressing in so many ways that are not readily apparent in meets.

 

[Ali'sMom]

Just keep being proud!

Comp season hasn't started here yet but I'm not looking forward to it at all. DD is struggling in level 5 (competed 3 last year, never having stepped foot in a gym) and to be honest, I feel like her coaches have set her up to fail.
She can't connect ANYTHING on the bars, still looks like she's about to pee her pants every time she gets up on the beam, can't hold her handstand...
I foresee many tears this year...
Yes I'm pissy about it...

Why did they move her to L5 so quick???

And yes, when you can already picture things going sadly for your DD, you're allowed to be pissy about it!

 

[needcoffee]

Just keep being proud!



Why did they move her to L5 so quick???

And yes, when you can already picture things going sadly for your DD, you're allowed to be pissy about it!

I actually have no idea. I'm still a new gym mum and still learning, I had no idea what level 5 entailed when they put her in it, and had I known, I would have pushed for level 4. We recently changed the program in Australia so level 4 would pretty much been a repeat of the level 3 she competed.

All I can think of is that she is pretty good on floor. But that still doesn't help a kid who has no foundations.

 

[Alie21]

I'm still a new gym mum and still learning, I had no idea what level 5 entailed when they put her in it, and had I known, I would have pushed for level 4. We recently changed the program in Australia so level 4 would pretty much been a repeat of the level 3 she competed.

Hi, we are in Aust too. It seems there is a bit of confusion about the 'new' levels and I'm guessing it will take a year to iron out! We were initially told they would compete a level up from what they did in 2014 so I was initially disappointed they put my DD competing L3 (not that she competed last year - huge gym reorganisation when the elite program was cancelled). Then I found out the L4 bar routine (that jump!) and coach showed them all the dancey stuff in L3 and we were pretty ok with L3! My DD hates dance

Hope your DD copes ok this year. There is some guidance flowchart that coaches can use to check the level placement. I think it is on the Vic gymnastics site and was linked in one of the Aust forum messages but I don't have time to go find it now. Perhaps they can re-evaluate? Or think she can pull it all together in time for comp season - they can learn a lot quickly!

Good luck!

 

[needcoffee]

Hi, we are in Aust too. It seems there is a bit of confusion about the 'new' levels and I'm guessing it will take a year to iron out! We were initially told they would compete a level up from what they did in 2014 so I was initially disappointed they put my DD competing L3 (not that she competed last year - huge gym reorganisation when the elite program was cancelled). Then I found out the L4 bar routine (that jump!) and coach showed them all the dancey stuff in L3 and we were pretty ok with L3! My DD hates dance

Hope your DD copes ok this year. There is some guidance flowchart that coaches can use to check the level placement. I think it is on the Vic gymnastics site and was linked in one of the Aust forum messages but I don't have time to go find it now. Perhaps they can re-evaluate? Or think she can pull it all together in time for comp season - they can learn a lot quickly!

Good luck!

Thank you! They don't want to put her back in level 4, which is why I think that they are setting her up to fail. Not sure she can pull it together before July either, they've talked to me about the fact that she may not even makes comps, which will be a huge blow to her self esteem I think. Even more so if she went to comps and came last.

She's doing really well on floor, so I think that will be ok. The only thing she needs to work on is keeping her legs together on the BHS. Bars, all of it is a mess lol. Beam, she needs to get her BWO and hold her handstand, the rest looks ok. Vault, a bit slow.

Her coach just quit too. Its going to be a strange year!!

 

[Ali'sMom]

Thank you! They don't want to put her back in level 4, which is why I think that they are setting her up to fail. Not sure she can pull it together before July either, they've talked to me about the fact that she may not even makes comps, which will be a huge blow to her self esteem I think. Even more so if she went to comps and came last.

She's doing really well on floor, so I think that will be ok. The only thing she needs to work on is keeping her legs together on the BHS. Bars, all of it is a mess lol. Beam, she needs to get her BWO and hold her handstand, the rest looks ok. Vault, a bit slow.

Her coach just quit too. Its going to be a strange year!!

Lots of good gym vibes heading your way!! I know that "will she/ won't she?" can drive a mom crazy!!! wishing her all the best luck!!