I am here for therapy

[MarR99]

Hi everyone,

My daughter is 10 years old and training level 6. I never really wanted to do the whole gymnastics scene since I had friends with daughters in the sport and I saw all the stress, money, time and injuries that they were dealing with. My daughter begged me to join a few years ago so here we are, and it is as bad as I thought it would be! :tired: Yes, I am proud of my daughter, but I hate how the sport can consume so much of our lives. The whole family has had to give up so much for her dream. Yes, it is worth it when I see how much self esteem she gets from doing the sport but it comes with a price. I was looking for a place to post some of my concerns. Perhaps I can find some comfort here.

 

[gymmomntc2e6]

Hello & welcome to CB. You have come to the right place as we are pretty much all on the same boat.

Sounds like your daughter is loving gymnastics and that is wonderful. My DD is also 10 and about a L5. Her HC decided not to do compulsory this season but to do Prep Op instead, so DD is doing Prep Silver.

Looking forward to hearing more about your DD and her gym journey.

 

[bogwoppit]

Well you have come to the right place. Many of us struggle to find a good balance between family life, gym and our money!!! Trying to please everyone at the same time as keeping family first is a huge challenge and different for every family.

Stick around, ask some questions, I am sure there is a lot you can share as well.

 

[MarR99]

Glad I am not alone

It is nice to be at a place that understands me. I speak to other parents with kids in different sports but gymnastics feels like it is different in that there is such a demand for our time in that the gymnasts train so many hours. I actually found the board when I was looking for something online after having a little argument with my daughter's HC. Basically, after mentioning that my DD wanted to go to camp with our church she said she was "really angry" with me and that it was too close to competition time. I was willing to drive my DD down to camp later so she only missed three days. However, our HC said that the three days she would miss would set her back. (We could have even made up some of the hours training with a different level too) It seems a little extreme to me. I was wanting to see if this was "normal" HC behavior. I still have not seen a thread about that yet. I told our coach that I thought that it would be psychologically beneficial to my DD to feel like she did not have to miss out on everything for gymnastics and she would stick with sport longer because of that. HC said that she said it was a sport that demands that the gymnast has to give up things and that she needs to deal with that.
Perhaps we will never agree? I think my way of thinking seems more logical. Oh well. . .

 

[Optionals United]

She is 10!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Give her a break. I know when I went to church camp for a week I came back mentally stronger then ever. Your dd will have plenty of time to compete level 7 and above. When is her first competition? I don't think 3 days now is really going to effect her. Will she of been in gym all 3 of those days? Cause she might be gone 3 days but only miss 2 practices depending on her schedule. I can see where the coach is coming from though. Because right now everyone should be seddleing into there level working routines ect. But there is still another couple weeks of summer and plenty of time for her to be prepared for season.
I hope this helps you a little.

 

[MarR99]

I know. She is only 10. That is how I look at it too. I am now letting my daughter go to camp on Sunday with the rest of the kids but I am picking her up in the middle of the week on Tuesday and bringing her back Wednesday night so she does not miss 3 consecutive days. The HC is still upset that we are missing Monday's 5 hour practice, but DD is making up a few hours this Saturday. I think she is a bit extreme about it. She is a great coach though. Maybe she can't see the "big picture"? I think as a mom I am just trying to keep my DD's life as balanced as possible in spit of gymnastics! It is easier said than done, unfortunately.

 

[ProudMomofGymnast]

It is nice to be at a place that understands me. I speak to other parents with kids in different sports but gymnastics feels like it is different in that there is such a demand for our time in that the gymnasts train so many hours. I actually found the board when I was looking for something online after having a little argument with my daughter's HC. Basically, after mentioning that my DD wanted to go to camp with our church she said she was "really angry" with me and that it was too close to competition time. I was willing to drive my DD down to camp later so she only missed three days. However, our HC said that the three days she would miss would set her back. (We could have even made up some of the hours training with a different level too) It seems a little extreme to me. I was wanting to see if this was "normal" HC behavior. I still have not seen a thread about that yet. I told our coach that I thought that it would be psychologically beneficial to my DD to feel like she did not have to miss out on everything for gymnastics and she would stick with sport longer because of that. HC said that she said it was a sport that demands that the gymnast has to give up things and that she needs to deal with that.
Perhaps we will never agree? I think my way of thinking seems more logical. Oh well. . .

Very similar situation at our gym. My dd goes to IGC every summer, and last year it was late August. Her HC was not to thrilled with me and was not going to let her compete in the first meet meet because she did not feel dd would be ready. This year we sent her to IGC for the first week to avoid this issue. We have quite a few girls going to various camps and I know they aren't thrilled. It is tough because you still want them to be kids, too.

 

[Ingwe]

Welcome to the board!


Our Gym is pretty picky about the girls taking time off as well. I have learned over the years to not let it upset me and I just do what I feel is right for our family. The Gym will get get over it.

We are actually going away for 10 days over Christmas and I know it is going to cause a lot of drama becuase when we get back it will be 2 weeks before the 1st meet of the season. I told my friend that I was going to call the Gym after they closed the night before we leave and just leave a mesage on the machine.

 

[nettyinpa]

Welcome to the CB. Isn't good to know you're not alone? My dh and I fight over the money situation with gymnastics a lot. It's the only thing she's involved in or even wants to be involved in so why not?

Thankfully our gym is relaxed about taking time off. As long as they know about it ahead of time, they have no problem with it. In our old gym we had to actually get our vacation time "approved". Um, no, sorry, it doesn't work that way. We go on vacation when it's convenient for us, not for them. My dd missed her first level 5 meet that season and you know what? The world did not stop revolving and her team didn't fall apart. She went back to the gym ready to work, probably better than before we left. They need that down time, don't let the head coach bully you into thinking she'll lose skills, etc. That's a bunch of bolony!! She's not going away for 3 weeks or 3 months!! Let her go to camp. She needs to be a kid, too, not just a 'gymnast'!!

 

[MarR99]

Well, I guess it is a typical problem. Coaches want our lives to revolve around the gymnastics schedule I guess. I am usually pretty good about letting it go but this time she was very upset with me and I ended up in tears over it. I happen to know that several other gymnasts on the team were taking time off too this Summer so it may have just been that I was the "straw that broke the camel's back." At least she is working with us a little and we came to a compromise. Funny thing is, she wants us to tell her ahead of time when we are going to take time off but she even told me that if I had told her sooner she would not have pushed for DD to train L6. For only 3 days being missed? This seems crazy. I think I am better off not telling her sooner. Maybe that is wrong of me, but I don't want her to hold my DD back just because she might miss a few days of practice.

 

[gymmomof1]

Welcome to the CB, I too found this place while searching for something --it's always something. As for the coaches and not missing practice, I get how they want them to practice as much as possible but in reality there is no guarantee that they will have a great meet anyway even if they were at practice, we all know how that goes. Once in a while they need to do something else. As for your coach, you may be right, maybe with those others taking off too she was getting frustrated only she knows. Well in a few more weeks it will be back to the fall schedule and for us competition season . But for now there is a few more weeks before our gym has 1 week off for team at the end of August so we will get some R&R at a lake before then --yay!

 

[bogwoppit]

Our gym closes from May - Sept and for a month at xmas, the coache sdon't mind if the kids are away, but prefer it to not be near a meet. All our coaches are moms and have families, they have a life too.

I feel for you, but I couldn't let a coach tell me how to run my family life.

 

[Blackie6]

Welcome to CB!

I have a 9yr old L5 and we "cut" all the time. My DD does other sports like dive team, field hockey and softball. I figured she will be old enough soon to know what SHE is willing to commit too. In the meantime, I give her other options, as I never want her to look back on her childhood and say 'I wish I tried ....... but couldn't because of gym" Stick to your guns and let her go to camp. Missing 3 days of practice is not going to set her back, if anything the rest will make her stronger and memories last a lifetime!

When we moved gyms last year my DD wanted to go to one that just opened up that was farther away and more money. Many old teamate "defected" there, LOL. It is much more competative and coaching is way more intense & hours more demanding. I told her if/when she reaches optional levels and she is willing to give up everything else for gymnastics then maybe we would re-consider, LOL, but we are not intense people and she is not an intense child...it wouldn't work now. We have other children who are just as involved in their sports too. Sometimes I am by myself running kids all over town. DD's current gym is only 10 minutes away. Plus, it works for us financially, love the coaches, girls, and laid back family atmosphere. We have never been told we could not go on vacation.

 

[MarR99]

I appreciate all of the posts! It helps me feel like I am making the right decision having my daughter go to camp in spite of the coaches feelings. Of course, "I am the parent" but I respect our coach and I know how much she has put into our DD and the other gymnasts. It is interesting that different gyms have different philosophies about vacation time and missing gym. Here in Southern California there are several options for us, but this gym is the closest and we have very few injuries at our gym. The other gym that is the same distance from our house, does not seem as safe to me since many of the girls that I know have all had some serious injuries training there. They don't train as many hours per week and they seem to be pushed too fast. At least, that is how it appears to me. So I will put up with my HC and her obsessive behavior for now. It only really bothers me when it comes to asking for time off. I guess that is a good thing!

 

[gym law mom]

What coaches seem to forget is that without the parents and our checkbooks/credit cards, they wouldn't have a job. We are the customer and customers don't like being dictated to.

Take your dd to camp and tell her to have a great time. Missing a few days will not make or break a L6 season.

Welcome to CB!

 

[Tumblequeensmom]

Welcome to the CB. Yes, we have all been through the gymnastics "cycle"!!! This sport can really such us dry, mentally, physically and financially!!! But as long as my DD loves it, I keep supporting her!

Don't worry about your daughter missing a few days of practice... seriously. They need a break everyone in a while, as as you've already learned, the whole family sacrifices so much for the one child. If you need to take a family vacation... DO IT... if she needs to go to church camp.... DO IT!!! And just between us (and all the other CB's out there will agree)... a few days of missed practice is NOT going to set her back!!!

 

[jdf]

That sounds really extreme to me. This is a year round sport, and it is important to take some time off every now and then to let their bodies rest.

 

[flipper's fan]

DD has been at two gyms, both of which had liberal time off policies. At some places in her journey, she has needed/wanted time off or she would have probably quit. Coaches tried to help her see a connection between skipping practice and being the kind of gymnast she wanted to be. Now, she refuses to miss time in the gym. She has recently become a very determined and dedicated 11 yo level 8.

The moral is, things change. Do what is best for dd at the present.

 

[MarR99]

At some places in her journey, she has needed/wanted time off or she would have probably quit.

I agree! I think that depending on the child there are different needs. Although my DD has become more focused than when she started a couple of years ago, she is still a fun loving 10 year old and going to camp is something that will help her feel like she can still have fun outside of gymnastics and keep her committed to the sport longer than she would otherwise. I think she may choose to not miss practice as she gets better or more focused, but I want it to be on her terms.

 

[drivingmom]

Parents and coaches drive me crazy about missing time in the gym. OMG..we all have busy lives, jobs, other children, church and my I dare say it our own activties we would like to do. If a child misses a few practices or even a week or two WHO CARES!!! It's life, your child's life and you are in charge not a coach. Let's face it 99% of our kids are not going to the Olympics or even high level gymnastics. Just enjoy it for what it is and what they learn from the sport during this time in their lives.

These parents who go on a vacation and then find a gym near where they are vacationing are nuts (especially for level 4 & 5). Enjoy your vacation.

I don't want mine to fall behind, but they really don't. Mine missed two months to an injury and within two weeks was caught back to the rest of the girls.

Just enjoy the ride you are on with your childs gymanstics, but enjoy all the others parts of your life as well. Keep in mind it's your child's sport.