Parents Why Kids Quit Sports

[skschlag]

Great Article on why kids quit sports. Talks about age 13 as being a crucial age where a lot of kids quit.

http://changingthegameproject.com/why-kids-quit-sports/

 

[1canadiangymmom]

Great article. Thank you for sharing!!

 

[Deleted member 14190]

FEAR.... ANXIETY. Is what separates gymnasts from the rest of the world of athletes. So this study is good but not dialed in for gymnastics.

 

[1canadiangymmom]

FEAR.... ANXIETY. Is what separates gymnasts from the rest of the world of athletes. So this study is good but not dialed in for gymnastics.

Fair enough, but fear and anxiety also can make it not fun anymore.

 

[skschlag]

And I think parents sometimes help with some of the anxiety....

 

[skschlag]

I would asay that all but #3 apply to gymnasts. And that the fear/anxiety contributes to the not having fun, being afraid to make mistakes, and maybe into the adults taking ownership of the sport instead of the kids

 

[ollieblueeyes]

FEAR.... ANXIETY. Is what separates gymnasts from the rest of the world of athletes. So this study is good but not dialed in for gymnastics.

So as a parent, how do you help with the fear and anxiety? My DD has been working thru fears etc. I have been observing a huge increase in drama feeding anxiety behavior in her group. Is this a common teenage group mentality? My husband blames it all on Dance Moms!

 

[ARKGYMMOM]

My child quit at 11 and I can tell you that ALL of these played a factor. Now #3 may not fit unless you look at it as she didn't have much "fun" play time. It was so serious ALL the time that they rarely got a chance to breathe. Everything was scrutinized and they were constantly pitted against each other. So "play time" just may mean something different in Gymnastics

 

[NutterButter]

I think all factors are relevant for my DD - even #3. I guess each gym will have a different definition of the "fun" part but during the summer, school breaks and at the end of competition seasons the groups will do some team building activities that mix up all levels - pre-team through optionals. The team building activities are games/contests and usually have some strength component (though not as much as during a normal workout).

 

[curlymop]

FEAR.... ANXIETY. Is what separates gymnasts from the rest of the world of athletes. So this study is good but not dialed in for gymnastics.

I get that there is a mental side of gymnastics that is not quite the same as in other sports, but I disagree that playing other sports doesn't involve dealing with fear and anxiety. My older son plays rec baseball, and when he first started playing he had a huge fear that the ball would hit him in the face. He gradually became more confident and learned that the ball was less likely to hit him if he kept his eyes on it instead of turning his head away. Meanwhile I had to stop trying to coach it out of him, because that just made his anxiety about it worse, as then he was was worried both about the ball hitting him and about disappointing me. I don't think this is all that different than the stories I read on this board about gymnasts becoming afraid of certain skills and how the coach's and parent's reaction (basically, less is better) can make a huge difference in how quickly those fears are overcome. I think the main difference is that gymnastics skills get progressively more difficult, which can trigger more fears as the gymnast gets older, whereas in other sports the fear of physical injury may not be as great. But I'd argue that only makes the points in this article more relevant to gymnasts. Plus, there is still the fear of failure and the anxiety that comes with feeling that other people are invested in your performance. That happens in all sports.

I would asay that all but #3 apply to gymnasts. And that the fear/anxiety contributes to the not having fun, being afraid to make mistakes, and maybe into the adults taking ownership of the sport instead of the kids

I agree. My gymnast son deals with major anxiety leading up to a competition. To a certain extent that is just his personality, as his anxiety shows up in other situations as well. But when I'm totally honest, I recognize that I contributed to it by asking questions about skills, giving little tips, etc. I was getting too invested and not letting it be his sport. The only way I have found to stop doing that is to stop watching practice. Basically, when I let him take ownership of his sport, he has more fun and less anxiety.

Thanks for posting. That was great advice!

 

[my4buffaloes]

I think kids being disrespected is huge. Coaches should not treat gymnasts any differently than they would treat a coworker. But they frequently forget that they are dealing with little kids. They might be able to do great things with their body, but at the end of the day, most of them are still little kids.

 

[OzZee]

I think no 3 for gymnasts also applies to when the child is on a team (or perceives) where there are favorites who get more attention.
Catch 22 as well as then they get less training and the good kids get more and therefore improve even more.

 

[profmom]

Even the big teenage optional boys still love it when they "have to" fluff the pit. And both of my kids really enjoy the unstructured atmosphere of open gym. Gym is hard work, but I always tell them to have fun when I drop them off for practice, because I just can't see having them do this if it's not fun.

 

[OzZee]

Interesting article with some figures (non gymnastic) of % high school players, make college or beyond.
http://m.nzherald.co.nz/sport/news/article.cfm?c_id=4&objectid=11443556

 

[Dka]

As a coach in a different sport, I think all parents should read changing the game. They address many different topics. As a parent it is our job to sit back and enjoy the ride. There are so many times I want to ask my kids about practice etc, or discuss something with their coach and then I remember - now this may not apply to gymnastics because there are very few adults that compete. " All roads lead to the beer league" if a player is that good they will be found. Sitting back allows your child to decide which path they will take, and they are the ones responsible for success of failure. I was div a 1 full scholarship athlete my self, but realize if its going to happen, it's going to happen. Kids need to want it, not us. So I let me child's coach run the show, when my friends at other hymns complain about things especially coaching, I always tell them, if you don't trust the coach you are in the wrong place, or maybe your dd is not working hard enough, or is not quite as talented, it's ok....I have three kids and say these things to myself - so far they all play, and are all having fun, my oldest ds is going into
Highschool and has no plans on giving up his sport. He's actually looking forward to the adult leagues later!!! Lol

 

[Seeker]

A lot of what's being discussed re: anxiety and "parents staying out of it" depends on your kid, their gymnastics experiences and how they interact/share in general. I typically don't ask any questions at all, but my daughter tells me a lot on our commute home. I may ask what something is because she's talking about skills I don't know about yet (scary release stuff), but she is not anxious by nature and is perfectly relaxed in sharing her day with me. She talks about school, projects, friends, other activities and gymnastics. If I cut her off, didn't engage or ignored her in an effort "to stay out of it", that would be very hurtful to her. That being said, I don't ever watch practice and I trust her coaches very much, so that makes a huge difference. Having some experience at a "lesser" gym for compulsories makes this experience so much more enjoyable.

I don't ever pressure her about school or skills or competitions, etc -- she has high standards for herself, so I don't feel the need to jump in there. Now if only those standards could transfer to her room and the dishes....

 

[leotardmakermum]

Great article. My child had been injured for about a year, and at the end of an enforced (by the sports specialist doctor) period out of the gym, she came to us and said, "I don't want to do gymnastics anymore." Her enthusiasm had been waning before the enforced rest, as she really hadn't been able to train properly and be integrated with her friends for about a year. Not surprisingly, it wasn't fun anymore for her. She was quite burnt out, and consequently she loved her time away from gym during the rest period. (We enjoyed it too!)

However, we were really concerned when she told us she didn't want to do it anymore. We just weren't sure that she was really ready to quit. I don't feel that giving up when you're injured is a good time to do it. I was really concerned that in 6months/a year's time she'd say, "I wish I had never given it up." So because of that, and in consultation with the coach, physio and a sports psychologist (whom we'd never met before, so was completely impartial), we decided that we would honour our financial commitment to the gym, and tell her that she was going until the end of the period we'd already paid for.

She accepted this readily, and went back to gym with renewed enthusiasm. Physically and mentally, that time off did wonders for her. She's been regaining skills and learning new ones that because of the period of complete rest and relaxation, her body was ready for. She's still not at the point where she'll say, "I love gym", but she is willing to admit that she's enjoying parts of it.

When we get to the end of the financial commitment period, we're not sure what will happen. But for now, she's regaining confidence, regaining skills, and slowly regaining her love for the sport.

 

[needcoffee]

Interesting article. I hope dd continues with gymnastics (or another sport of her choosing) throughout her high school years, so that was good to read.

I ask her the exact same thing after every practice: did you have fun? She will generally prattle on for the entire car ride home about what she did, but I only ever ask that one question.

I've also noticed in my very limited watching of practice (last 10 minutes) that the coaches definitely have favourites. I don't think dd has picked up on it yet, but a lot goes over her head. I'm sure she will if it continues.

 

[Sneezyone]

Favorites don't bother me since every coach has them. My emphasis with DD has always been working to her own potential and not comparing herself to others. I don't get upset with her, she's hard enough on herself. Long-term participation is, I think, achieved through appropriate pacing. It's not a sprint. I always ask what dd's learned, what she improved and whether she had fun.

Sometimes the coaches get on to her (no yelling, no abuse) and she gets upset. My role is to give her a hug, explain Coach wouldn't be on her if she wasn't capable, remind her that tomorrow is a new day. I don't think more than 10 words have passed between me and the coaching staff all year. DD is happy.

Next year, when we move overseas, she'll not have access to great coaching so it will be almost all about fun/travel from age 11-13. Perfect for getting over the preteen hump. I'm hopeful that she'll still be enjoying the sport and ready to make one more big run but who knows.

 

[needcoffee]

Favourites don't bother me either really, unless they make it obvious.