Parents Another what do you tell your gymnast thread

[mommyof1]

Here is the hypothetical: At a meet, your gymnast does a flippy thing. It is possibly one of the worst flippy things you have ever seen her do. As in, not just a magnet for form deductions but so obviously, egregiously unsafe that you are amazed she didn't hit her head or break any bones, and every parent in the stands must be wondering why her coaches allowed her to compete it. After the meet, your gymnast bounces up to you and says, "My flippy thing felt really good today!" Then she directly asks you, "Did it look good? Did you think it was good? Was it good?"

How do you respond?

 

[needcoffee]

I video all meets, I would show her the video and ask if she thought it was good.

More than likely her coach would be a bit wtf so I wouldn't need to say anything.

 

[Iwannabemargo]

what she said !

 

[l.c.o]

Another 'what she said' here. ^^

Or, as I was never a gymnast... I'd say "Well, honey, you really went for it and I'm so proud of you! I'm not a good judge of anything flippy. What did your coach say?"

Then, depending on my relationship with said coach, may ask him/her "WTH?"

 

[Tbrov]

I'd say, "Everything you do looks good to me, but I'm your mother!" And then let the coach deal with it.

 

[MILgymFAM]

Obviously in the minority here but I would be honest and say that it wasn't the best I had seen her do, but that I'm proud of how she went for it. She would then ask for the video and I would comply, and then she would see it herself and assess it more honestly. That is what works for us though. If she thought I would sugarcoat everything she would no longer trust my opinion or my advice (and that refers to life much bigger than gym).

 

[lovegymnastics22]

It looked great! I love you! Let's get some ice cream!

 

[Natasha]

Depends on age and experience of my gymnast.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

I never lie to my daughter. So I wouldn't tell her it looked good if it didn't. I too video so she would know as well. Because really if they are past Level 2 they know what good looks like and coming off level 4 and heading to 6 she really does know. I would probably say it was OK, I have seen you do better, or you really dug in and stuck it..... and then deflect and say Gee what did your coach say....................

She knows when I say something was awesome it really was.

 

[mommyof1]

I said, "well, it didn't really look like your best. Do you want to see the video?" To which she replied, "Nooooooooo!" Should have just shown her the video without answering her question.

 

[lovegymnastics22]

I am surprised by these answers because it almost seemed to me like a trick question! Certainly with all the emotion right after a meet, when she thinks she did good, I would never take that moment to tell her I didn't think her flippy thing she is so excited about was bad. Maybe she's been working on her block, or holding it, or straightening her body, or just landing it. I have no clue what the goal for the flippy thing was for the meet. I don't consider it lying at all. I am not a coach or a judge and my opinion of how good the flippy thing is is just not relevant.

Also, I have been burned by this "how does this look?" question many times. For all the posts that say: let your kid own their gymnastics, don't coach them, don't stay in the gym, etc, I always feel less strong than many people on this list. But I think an easy one is that if your kid thinks she did a good job, it's not my job as a parent to correct her. Let the coach deal with that in the gym.

(I will say my DD is 8. Maybe when she is older my opinion will change as how much she internalizes my opinion changes)

 

[Tbrov]

I am surprised by these answers because it almost seemed to me like a trick question! Certainly with all the emotion right after a meet, when she thinks she did good, I would never take that moment to tell her I didn't think her flippy thing she is so excited about was bad. Maybe she's been working on her block, or holding it, or straightening her body, or just landing it. I have no clue what the goal for the flippy thing was for the meet. I don't consider it lying at all. I am not a coach or a judge and my opinion of how good the flippy thing is is just not relevant.

Also, I have been burned by this "how does this look?" question many times. For all the posts that say: let your kid own their gymnastics, don't coach them, don't stay in the gym, etc, I always feel less strong than many people on this list. But I think an easy one is that if your kid thinks she did a good job, it's not my job as a parent to correct her. Let the coach deal with that in the gym.

(I will say my DD is 8. Maybe when she is older my opinion will change as how much she internalizes my opinion changes)

My two kids are level 10, and I've actually realized that the older and higher level they got, the less I could comment. I will think something looked great, and it turns out they left a half-turn out. Or may think something is not pretty, and it turns out it's a hard skill they have been working on for ages and just landing it is a huge accomplishment. In other words, I don't think I'm sugar-coating. I think I'm not qualified to answer. And so, as parent, I try to like it all - when it's not scaring the pants off me, that is.

 

[MILgymFAM]

I guess I should have caveated my previous response. My DDs have never (ever) in gymnastics- not once- thought they did something exceptionally well when they didn't. It just hasn't happened. Usually my DDs will say something about how something went wrong and we will have an honest discussion about it. There are always positives- this I have learned from the disastrous meets- but occasionally there are no positives to speak of in the routines themselves. It just happens. Maybe not to everyone's DDs, but it has to us. Maybe it's age (mine are 12 and 14) but they are pretty self-aware. Also, mine are low enough levels that I understand what everything is supposed to look like, on a broad scale. I don't get all the finer details, but I can definitely tell when something is "good" or "bad" for now.

 

[Natasha]

My two kids are level 10, and I've actually realized that the older and higher level they got, the less I could comment. I will think something looked great, and it turns out they left a half-turn out. Or may think something is not pretty, and it turns out it's a hard skill they have been working on for ages and just landing it is a huge accomplishment. In other words, I don't think I'm sugar-coating. I think I'm not qualified to answer. And so, as parent, I try to like it all - when it's not scaring the pants off me, that is.

LOL. My new personal requirement for "liking" a what my dd does in gym or at a meet is that she didn't get injured by doing it or didn't land on something or fall in a way that looks like she could have been injured… I do well to know what her skills are named, don't ask me if they are "good."

 

[mommyof1]

I am surprised by these answers because it almost seemed to me like a trick question! Certainly with all the emotion right after a meet, when she thinks she did good, I would never take that moment to tell her I didn't think her flippy thing she is so excited about was bad. Maybe she's been working on her block, or holding it, or straightening her body, or just landing it. I have no clue what the goal for the flippy thing was for the meet. I don't consider it lying at all. I am not a coach or a judge and my opinion of how good the flippy thing is is just not relevant.

In this case the flippy thing was just an ROBHS, done with bent arms, head almost hitting the floor, and bent legs, very nearly landing on her knees. It was scary to watch and we were flabbergasted that she truly felt as if her legs and arms were straight. If she were a level 10 doing real flippy stuff I couldn't possibly understand, that would be a different story.

 

[Tbrov]

LOL. My new personal requirement for "liking" a what my dd does in gym or at a meet is that she didn't get injured by doing it or didn't land on something or fall in a way that looks like she could have been injured… I do well to know what her skills are named, don't ask me if they are "good."

Oh yes! This. So much!!

 

[Texasmomof3]

I'm honest. Not mean, but honest. If I don't know about a skill, I don't know. But if I do know and it was a train wreck, I will tell her as much if she asks. Kindly, of course.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

I'm honest. Not mean, but honest. If I don't know about a skill, I don't know. But if I do know and it was a train wreck, I will tell her as much if she asks. Kindly, of course.

Yep.

 

[MAcastsalot]

In the case of a skill being unsafe, I'm sure that the coaches would handle it. If you let her know that she looked like she was going to hurt herself, that may cause fear of the skill (at least it would for my DD).

 

[leotardmakermum]

Day 2 of a gym comp, my daughter did the same vault as the previous day. I thought it looked terribly bouncy (which didn't seem right to me!). However, she scored much higher that day. We still look at its bounciness and wonder why...

My point is, I wouldn't have a clue what's good and what's not. I tell her what I think. If I think it looks good, I'm usually wrong. And if I think it looks wrong, it's usually good.