Parents New Team Mom That Drives Me Nuts

[Ariekannairb]

I hate posting this since I only just recently posted a vent, but we got a new team girl about 2 weeks ago. Sweet little girl. She came from a gym that has seen several of the girls quit and move over to our current gym, including us. She was so traumatized from her team experience there that the coaches had to talk her into just trying our team.

Anyways, that is not the point. The mother drives me INSANE. From the very first day she was very loud at practices, often critiquing her child and the group as a whole loud enough that I am sure the girls could hear. She has asked me about 10,000 times if I think the girls were ready to compete or if they needed extra practices and then proceeded to tell the HC that we all had decided the girls needed extra practice. I was caught completely off guard and had to stand behind the mom shaking my head to let the HC know that I was not interested in adding any more hours to my week right now (LOL). Every week she talks about how the girls just aren't practicing well. I completely disagree. I am the level 3 team mom so it is my "job" to welcome all of the new moms and I am just really having a hard time with this one! I almost want to go back to just having moms who drop their girls off and leave, as 6 hours a week with her is killing me! I suppose I can't do anything about how she critiques her own child, but I have to admit to telling my own child very loudly what a great job ALL of them them are doing and how hard they are working. Maybe that is passive aggressive, but it makes me feel better.

/vent

 

[bogwoppit]

Talk to the HC privately, perhaps he can talk her down a little.

But sadly these parents are everywhere.

 

[Ariekannairb]

We have. There is low expectations of her being at the gym long term. I hate to make too much out of it because her daughter has already been traumatized by her last team experience and is starting to make friend, including with my daughter. I am hoping that she mellows out a bit. Perhaps the past gym experience is causing the mom to be on edge too. If it gets too crazy I will say something to her myself.

 

[bogwoppit]

Take your iPod, wear headphones, if she talks to you just point to the headphones and look away!!

Alternatively drop and run. If you are not there she cannot talk to you.

 

[raenndrops]

We had a sort of similar situation at our gym a few years back, but the girl came from a "TOPS" gym and Mom was more critiquing the practice format AND her daughter AND comparing how GREAT the other gym (WHICH SHE CHOSE TO LEAVE) was to how lax ours was.
Our coach came from a TOUGH gym background. When she took over our team, she didn't want it to be a gym that put girls in tears on a regular basis. We condition, we practice skills and routines, and we uptrain.
When this mother came, we only had 2 sets of bars. That meant that girls might have to wait for a turn on the bars. We had side stations for them to do while waiting, but with only 3-4 coaches to help with team (now we have 6-8 on any given night), most of the side stations were up to the girl to do on their own.

Well... there was too much chatting... the girls in "kip club" (a club for girls TRYING to get their kips) didn't have straight arms and pointed toes... they were standing around too much... and ON and ON and ON...
They left after 2 months! Thank goodness.

 

[krisnkids]

Every negative nellie comment reply with a positive one or "maybe you should discuss that privately with the coach". After a few of the 'talk with the coach's then put in the headphones.

 

[LIGYMMOM]

Maybe try getting her to talk about something besides gymnastics? Do you really have to sit there for 6 hrs a week? That is a lot of sitting with someone who drives you nuts! I'm sure that everybody else sees her for who she is, so really it's just the issue of having to tolerate her. Good luck!

 

[gymmomtoo]

Sounds like the girl might be traumatized by her MOM not the other gym. What a CGM!

Oh--and editing to add--as team mom, I would think you can support the team and coach--if she talks about how she doesn't think the girls are ready, respond back with a positive--"Oh I think they are looking great! And your daughter is doing so well at...." Then change the subject to "What are you up to this weekend with your family?" or "Are you going anywhere for the holidays?"

 

[Krystan]

I totally agree with gymmomtoo! I've found the easiest way to nip the whining/complaining in the bud is to stick up for the gym in a short, firm, but pleasant manner. Usually that shuts them up (in front of me anyway).

 

[Sixmonkeyjungle]

We had a mom like this in pre-teams and we have a mom line this in dance. My advice? Disengage. Look busy, don't get into a conversation. Just answer any specific questions that require facts ("when is the meet? How should they wear their hair?") but don't reward the gossipy opinion questions with attention.

I personally draw the line when it affects my child though. With the CGM in ore-team, all the screaming into the gym really upset my daughter and it started to become both a physical and emotional safety issue. Then it really is something the gym should address.

 

[iwannacoach]

Would you just shut up!!!

Geez, to think I was planning on relaxing for a few hours.

Don't you just love it when the kids get a new trick.

I think I hear your mommy calling.......

My therapist says I need to find an outlet for my anger.....

How 'bout we go to xxxx for a cup of coffee without me.....

None of the above would be needed if you'd politely look her in the eye and tell her you think things are fine for now and don't feel like having chats with her that include all the drama.

So who do you like for president in 2016........

I hear there's a support group for people with concerns like yours, and I'm not interested in joining........

Can you believe they eliminated xxxx on The Voice!?

 

[my4buffaloes]

I have found that every time I respond to a complainer with nothing but positive comments it shuts them up real quick. I totally stick up for our gym and our coaches and give them all the benefit of the doubt. When I look at things from a different perspective from the complainers they quickly have nothing to say.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

Talk to the HC privately, perhaps he can talk her down a little.

But sadly these parents are everywhere.

you bet they are!

 

[GYM0M]

Nothing to offer for advice.....I'm a drop and runner!!! I try to avoid practice as much as possible! We attend the only competitive gym club in our area. We have roughly 40 girls on team and preteam. We only have 4-5 coaches to work the girls. Gymnasts are grouped by levels, pre team, L3 & L4, L5, & TOPS w/Opts. TOPS group w/Optional levels is very very small! Only 7 girls in the group....My DD included.....so a lot of the backlash at our gym comes about our TOPS group. I'm mouthy. I speak first ask questions later....gets me into trouble from time to time. I would like to stay civil so I stay away. Oh and I work for a rec gym in the area! I've been called to the coach's office lots of time bc so-n-so sd that my rec gym is doing this or that. I used to get blamed for a lot if gossip, but I am completely devoted to my DD team and would never betray their trust. I think our HC knows that now!

 

[Ariekannairb]

I can't drop in run because of how far we live from the gym. I tried going out a few times, but I have my other two children with me and we end up spending money LOL. Each practice is 3 hours which is just enough time for me to drop her, go home and turn around to come right back to get her.

We have roughly 40 girls on team and preteam. We only have 4-5 coaches to work the girls. Gymnasts are grouped by levels, pre team, L3 & L4, L5, & TOPS w/Opts. TOPS group w/Optional levels is very very small!

LOL our team has 15 girls levels 3-5 and 3 coaches. 40 sounds HUGE to me! My daughter's level has 5 girls.

 

[GYM0M]

Like I said, we have the only competitive gym in about a 100 mile RADIUS! Our girls do well though! Even in the larger groups! Lots of state medals. Only had 1 L4 that didn't qualify for state and she missed it by .1!

 

[Becauseisaid]

Would you just shut up!!!

Geez, to think I was planning on relaxing for a few hours.

etc.

LOL!

I would add to this a calm "Do you really think yelling these things is helping?".

 

[Becauseisaid]

And if all that fails, offer her an Exlax brownie. Can't complain if she's in the bathroom all night.

 

[Ariekannairb]

And if all that fails, offer her an Exlax brownie. Can't complain if she's in the bathroom all night.

Haha you would not suggest this if you knew the plumbing problems our building has!

 

[Flossyduck]

We have a mum like that. She;s quite new too and I think fretting about whether she made the right decision moving, whether she moved to the right place, whether her dd is doing ok and what the coaches think and she's so critical of everything. She winds herself into a state and I'm a patient person so I've tried the whole "I'd try to stop worrying and see what happens" thing several times and I always think I've got her into a calm place where she will just let things be for a while but the very next practice she's been looking at other gyms and talking to this person and that person and I've given up. She's cuckoo. Now I just say "well if you feel you'd be better off somewhere else then you should do what you think is right" and move away.